by Ginny Aiken
“Technically you didn’t win. And I’m not grumpy.”
“Of course not, dear,” her mother said as she sat in the lawn chair next to Melissa.
“You’re right.” Greg nodded in agreement. “You’re too tall to be Grumpy.”
“And you’re no Doc,” she replied, understanding the reference to Snow White. But she wasn’t in a joking mood. She felt stupid that she’d fallen, broken her wrist, and even fainted. How could she possibly care for the twins in this condition?
“Do you need anything?”
“No, thanks, Mom.”
“I’m going to head home.” Greg stood. “I have to finish planning our fundraiser for next weekend for our upcoming missions trip. Here’s my number if you need anything.” He handed Melissa’s mother a slip of paper.
Melissa forced a smile and nodded cautiously. A rush of warmth flooded her cheeks when she gazed into Greg’s dark cinnamon eyes. And the whirlpool feeling she’d experienced once before returned.
“Thanks for taking care of Lissa.”
“It’s the least I could do since it was my fault.” His smile faded, and she detected a note of sorrow in his voice.
Melissa sensed something deeper than just remorse for her accident. She knew her fall wasn’t the reason for the pained look on his face. “Don’t be silly, Greg. It was my own fault. Now get going. I need some rest.” She leaned back on the chaise lounge and closed her eyes. Her mother walked Greg to the back gate.
“Lissa, Charlie’s here. He had your car towed home,” her mother said when she returned.
Charlie stepped closer to Melissa and looked her over like a concerned parent. “I heard you fell for someone.”
Her mother stifled an obvious chuckle.
“Despite my mother’s and grandmother’s attempts at matchmaking, I’m still single and available. Slightly damaged now.” She raised her right arm and winced.
“Well, at least you still have your humor.”
“And apparently my car. Thanks, Charlie. How much do I owe you?”
“Nothing. Rob from the department did me a favor.” He took a step back. “I’ll let you get some rest. And remember—even damaged, you’re pretty special.”
Melissa didn’t dare speak. Her emotions were raw, and Charlie’s kindness caused a lump in her throat.
She nodded and watched him leave.
I’m blessed to have such caring friends.
The thought surprised her. But would she go so far as to think God still cared for her, after all? She drifted off to sleep wondering.
Guilt was a heavy burden, and Greg knew where to place that load. Yet he had difficulty with it some days. Every time he gave it over to God, he’d snatch it back. Sometimes he wondered if he should even be a pastor with all his failings. Then he’d be gently reminded of the people in the Bible who weren’t so perfect either, but God had used them.
Today, however, his guilt seemed doubled. Melissa. He felt responsible for her injury and something more. He forced the niggling thought from the back of his mind. Amy. Were the two different or somehow the same? He recognized the loss that sometimes dulled Melissa’s green eyes. Everything about her drew him closer to her. Did he think he could rescue her? Did he think he could protect her when he hadn’t been able to do either for Amy?
He stood and stretched his back, staring out the window at the shiny red car in the driveway. He hated that vehicle for its constant reminder of his failure, of his loss.
Help me, Lord.
Chapter 5
I’m learning the Internet!” Gram slapped her jean-clad knees in delight. “Jeff is teaching us at the community.”
Melissa stiffened in her chair. Suddenly her comfortable kitchen seemed anything but. You haven’t been here for ten minutes, and already you’re talking about Jeff. She knew Gram meant well, but today wasn’t a good day to be discussing her most recent disaster.
“I warned Jeff you were a free spirit. Apparently you were freer than usual.”
She opened her mouth to reply then caught Gram’s grin and clamped her lips together.
“Lord knows that boy could use some loosening up.” She shook her head. “He’s very nice, you know.”
“I’m sure he is. And I’m sorry I went a little overboard. But I’m like you. From the stories Dad told me, I know you weren’t a cookie-cutter mother. Then there’re my own experiences with you as a grandmother.”
“Don’t try to butter me up.”
“I’m not. Just look at you. Seventy-something and you’re wearing sneakers, jeans, and a T-shirt that says, ‘Old Age Ain’t for the Weak.’”
“I wouldn’t throw stones if I were you. I seem to recall that while my other granddaughters dressed up their Barbies in glamour gowns, you had yours doing search and rescue and examining crime scenes. Most of the time I think she even wore Ken’s clothes.”
Melissa feigned innocence. “I did that?”
The doorbell interrupted their conversation.
Gram stood. “I’ll get it.”
Melissa heard the front door open and Gram’s voice registering surprise. She put down her glass and went to see what the commotion was about.
“Lissa, I mistook your young man for a delivery boy,” Gram said as she pointed to the flowers in Greg’s hand.
“Hi.” He handed her a bouquet of pink carnations. He looked handsome in black dress pants and a crisp white button shirt. She figured he’d come straight from work to see her. The thought pleased her. Unless it was a pastoral call.
“Thanks.” She reached out to take them, but Gram intervened.
“I’ll put these in water. You two sit out in the back where it’s quiet. Would you like something to drink, Greg?”
“Iced tea if you have it.”
“Coming right up.” Gram seemed to disappear. Melissa knew that wouldn’t last long. All too soon she’d be out there pushing her and Greg together.
“Thank you for the flowers. That’s very sweet of you,” Melissa said as they walked out of the house. She took a seat on the lounge, and Greg sat on the chair beside her.
“How’s your arm?”
“Not bad,” she lied. It appeared as if he felt responsible for her fall, so she didn’t tell him the pain had kept her awake most of the night.
He pulled a black marker from his shirt pocket and motioned to her cast. “May I?”
She nodded.
As he drew on the plaster he continued. “I think this is very appropriate.”
A small lightning bolt and his signature were now prominently on display. “What’s that for?”
“Don’t you remember? When you said I didn’t need protective wear to skate?”
She felt herself coloring from the warm feeling infusing her heart. Even if her words did sort of come back to haunt her, it delighted her that he’d remembered their conversation.
“I thought if you weren’t up to it, we’d just stay here on Saturday.”
“Saturday?” she asked.
“Our real date,” he said with a half grin. “I’ll bring over some videos and pizza.”
“Should I dress for the occasion?”
Greg’s smile broadened.
“I’ll fix her up pretty,” Gram offered as she brought out a tray with iced tea, chocolate brownies, and a crystal vase filled with the pink carnations. “Though I did hear she needed new shoes.”
Melissa groaned at the reference to her boots.
“I rather liked her footwear,” Greg said to Gram as amusement filled his features. “Of course, I’m still trying to decide about the hair style.”
Melissa swatted Greg’s arm. “C’mon—give me a break.”
“I think I already did.”
They laughed in unison.
When Melissa’s alarm buzzed, she felt as if she’d never slept. She’d tossed and turned all night trying to get comfortable with the heavy cast on her arm. In the early morning hours she finally took a painkiller, but it didn’t last long. Why she resiste
d the medication, she didn’t know. But if she didn’t start getting some rest soon, she’d have to give in and take them as prescribed.
She slipped out of bed and padded to the shower. Placing a plastic bag carefully around her arm, she turned the water on full force and stood under the spray for what seemed like forever. She had difficulty motivating herself this morning. And she knew why.
Last night, as Greg left, he had asked her to go to church with him. She should have said no. But it had been a wonderful night. They’d watched two movies, eaten pizza, and talked. Melissa had never felt so relaxed in someone’s company. She didn’t have to pretend to be something she wasn’t. And, despite his affliction with word puzzles, she found Greg funny and witty.
She giggled remembering some of the games they had played. It took her awhile, but eventually she caught on. Puns, palindromes, and more auto-antonyms.
But it wouldn’t be fun this morning. She felt like a fake going to church when God had drifted so far from her. She wondered if He’d even recognize her.
Melissa did her best with her hair and clothes, rushing to be ready by the time Greg arrived. Her stomach did some kind of little flip when she opened the door and saw him. He looked amazingly good in his blue suit. Not a hair out of place, and a hint of aftershave still lingered.
“Morning, gorgeous.”
She ignored his comment even though it made her heart race. “It’s too early to be cheery.”
“I guess I should have left earlier last night so you could have had more sleep,” he said as they walked to the car. His hand touched her back lightly, guiding the way.
Melissa held her breath and resisted her feelings. She mentally argued with herself. What if she came to care for Greg and then lost him? Or maybe he only wanted a friend, since it was clear he still had feelings for someone else. Besides, Greg would probably tire of her tomboy ways. He’d look better with a feminine woman on his arm. Someone like Mattie. What could she possibly offer him? It all added up to the fact that she couldn’t risk her heart right now. She felt too vulnerable.
They chatted briefly on the way, and when they reached the parking lot Greg took her hands in his. “I know this is hard for you. Thank you for coming.” She thought he might kiss her, but he pulled back. “Wait, and I’ll get the door for you.”
He placed his warm hand under her elbow, and together they walked into the church. Music played, and she recognized the tune. People greeted one another with joyfulness, and Melissa found herself feeling like a foreigner, no longer a part of God’s family.
Throughout the service she observed more than she joined in. Greg had such a pleasing voice that she found herself listening to him sing. Pastor Jamison’s sermon didn’t bore her, and she was thankful the time passed quickly. A sense of relief flooded her when they left the sanctuary.
As they gathered in the front foyer, many youth and young adults surrounded Greg. He greeted each of them with enthusiasm and listened to their jokes and teasing. Feelings of jealousy threatened Melissa once again.
When Greg took her arm, they moved outside and stood beside the car as another teenager hollered at him. Greg walked to meet the young man halfway across the lawn, and Melissa watched from a distance as they talked. Others stopped and chatted briefly with Greg.
A well-dressed, pretty, young woman came up to Melissa. “Hi. I’m Ursula Jamison.”
“Melissa.”
“Are you new to Heaven?”
“I’ve been here all my life. And you?”
“Almost as long.” She giggled and glanced over toward Greg. Her smile faded. “Greg’s just moved here, and I’ve been given the job of looking out for him. Since I’m a PK, Daddy thinks I’d make an excellent pastor’s wife. So does Greg.”
“Well, you know how Greg can pick up strays and drag them in. That’s all I am to him. Just another lost sheep.” She fought to keep the quiver out of her voice.
Ursula laughed and waved her hand in the air. “I didn’t mean to imply that he wouldn’t be interested in you. But you’re definitely not his type.”
Before Melissa could answer, Ursula rushed off to meet Greg, who had started toward them. Melissa couldn’t hear Ursula, but Greg’s face lit up as they talked. He threw his head back, with dark waves of hair bouncing like in a slow-motion commercial, and placed his hands on Ursula’s shoulders. She leaned into his face, sharing more than a friendly greeting. Melissa tried to tell herself it didn’t matter since she didn’t know what her feelings for Greg were. But if the searing pain in her stomach indicated anything, she needed to sort things out.
“Several of the group are going for lunch and want us to join them,” he said when he returned to her. “I hope you don’t mind, but I declined.”
She didn’t reply. Did he not want to be seen with her? Or maybe Ursula had been right about her and Greg having an understanding. She bit her lip and turned to stare out the window as they left the parking lot.
“Did you want to go?”
“Nope.”
“I thought maybe you and I could go someplace….”
Something akin to joy fluttered through her until he continued.
“But I figured you’d need to rest, and I have things to do.”
How could she even try to compete with Ursula or Amy or whomever? Her heart sank. It would be a whole lot easier on her if she could find something wrong with Greg. Or something she didn’t like. Currently he had no faults, or her eyes were covered in scales.
“Is your arm bothering you?” he asked, interrupting her thoughts.
“It’s okay.”
“You seem rather quiet. I’ll bet it hurts more than you let on. I’ll take you home, and we can have lunch another time. How does that sound?”
“Sure.”
“I’ve heard about a place called Ming’s Chinese restaurant. We’ll go there sometime. I don’t know where it is, so when we go, it will be up to you to lead.”
“Deal,” she replied then waited a moment. “You didn’t get that one.” Suddenly their relationship seemed to be taking a downward spiral. Was it her fears? Her jealousy? Or was Greg just being a friend and she’d read too much into everything?
He slapped his forehead and groaned. “I can’t believe I missed that. I think I’ve met my match.”
I hope so, she thought before she could stop herself.
A week had passed since he first met Melissa, and in every way but one she differed from Amy. He felt relieved. Today, however, the pain in her eyes seemed more pronounced than ever before.
“Melissa, we’ve practically spent the week together. I feel as if I know everything about you, yet nothing at all.” How corny is that?
“My life is an open book.”
“So what’s on page 56?”
“That’s just yesterday’s stuff.”
They were seated side by side on the living room sofa. With Mrs. Stoddard in the kitchen, Greg resisted the urge to reach out and take Melissa’s hand or brush a strand of hair behind her ear. He wanted to touch her to make some sort of connection. Her warmth filled so many pockets of his life already. He knew he should run the other way, but Melissa’s pull was greater. And then he thought about Amy.
“Are you in there, Greg?” Melissa asked, waving a hand in front of his face.
“Sorry.”
“I just said how boring my life was, and you proved it.” She gave him a slight smile.
“Well, maybe I can help liven it up. After all, I bet you’ve never had a broken wrist until now.”
“You’re right about that.”
“And we can’t forget about the blind date mix-up.”
“Yes, that’s right up there at the top.”
“Pot.”
She giggled. “Oh, stop.”
“Pots.” He leaned back on the sofa, placing his hands behind his head.
“Want a pillow?” she asked.
He closed his eyes. “Better not. I think I could fall asleep in this nice cool room.”
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br /> “Moor.”
“Yes. I’ll say it again. I’ve met my match.” He opened one eye and looked at her. “Melissa, tell me why you and God don’t talk anymore?”
He watched her stiffen and the smile slip from her pink lips. “You listen to people’s problems all week. You don’t want to hear mine.”
“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to know.”
She picked up her glass of iced tea and took a sip. “I guess we stopped talking when He stopped listening.”
His heart ached when he studied the pained look in her glistening eyes, but he remained quiet, waiting for her to continue.
“I don’t think I’ve ever asked God for much. Just that He would heal Daddy. At first it seemed He had answered my prayers when we found out about the remission. But it didn’t last long.”
“And because God didn’t answer your prayers the way you wanted Him to, you think He deserted you?” Though his words were harsh, he spoke them as softly as he could, understanding more than she could know. He prayed silently while she spoke.
“Didn’t He?” she whispered, her bottom lip quivering slightly.
“Melissa, God is like your shadow. He’s always there even if you can’t see Him. He’s never left you. Wherever you go. Even if you don’t want Him there.” He paused and sat up, leaning closer to her. “We don’t know why things happen. But we have to trust that God knows what He’s doing. We can’t see the master plan, and sometimes the here and now seems painfully overwhelming, but you just have to trust Him.”
She nodded, and he could tell she struggled to keep from crying.
“He’s been with you through all of your struggles and pain. He yearns to hold you and comfort you. Won’t you let Him?”
“I can’t.”
He couldn’t stand it any longer and reached out to pull her gently toward him. He stroked her hair and brushed the single tear that escaped down her cheek. “He won’t ever leave. You just call when you need Him. Okay?”
She tipped her head and sighed.
“Humans will let you down, Melissa. Me included. We don’t want to, but we’re not perfect. The only one you can count on is God.” He probably sounded more like a preacher than a friend, but these were truths he’d had to relearn after Amy’s accident. He shared from his own heartache, not from a seminary textbook, and he prayed that God would use his words to reach Melissa.