by Earl Sewell
“You’re in love with her now, aren’t you?” I saw tears forming in Keysha’s eyes.
“Keysha, it’s not like that,” I said.
“Yes it is, Wesley,” Keysha stated with absolute conviction. She then brushed her fingertips across my forehead and then held them up before my eyes. Stuck to her fingers was the damning evidence that was causing Keysha to act so uncharacteristically. Keysha had smeared Lori’s lipstick off of my forehead. It was all too clear what Keysha had concluded.
“Her lipstick is all over your face and your lips! Don’t even try to explain yourself, Wesley.” Keysha’s eyes were now spilling over with tears.
I had no idea how to respond or how to even begin to explain myself. I felt like a deer caught in headlights on a dark highway.
“I know how this might look to you,” I said, finally finding my voice.
“Save it, Wesley.” Keysha’s voice trembled and cracked. “She’s not prettier than me—her outfit is wack and she needs a good weave. So she must be keeping her legs open 24/7.”
A nurse came in to see what all of the commotion was about. “Is there a problem in here? You guys are very loud and you’re disturbing other patients who are trying to rest,” she said.
“This is so stupid!” Keysha turned and walked away from me.
“Keysha, wait,” I called out, but she refused to acknowledge me. She grabbed her suitcase, picking up a pair of socks that had fallen out, and hustled out of the room.
nine
KEYSHA
I rushed out of Wesley’s room and down the hall to the elevator as quickly as I could. I didn’t want him or that tramp to see me crying. I pressed the call button several times out of aggravation because I wasn’t getting the instant service I needed. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity the elevator chimed. When the doors opened up I saw Wesley’s dad getting off along with an elderly woman who I assumed was Wesley’s grandmother.
“Keysha?” Wesley’s father’s voice was filled with surprise and confusion.
“Hello,” I whispered quietly. I was so upset and didn’t want to explain myself or what had just happened to me in Wesley’s room.
“What are you doing here?” he asked as he exited the elevator. He held the door open for me as I stepped in.
“I don’t know,” I answered as tears streamed down my face.
“Are your parents here? Where are you going?” All I could do was shrug my shoulders and press the button for the lobby. He tried to keep the elevator door from closing but it was too late.
Once I reached the lobby, I exited the elevator and noticed a sign that read This Way to Chapel. I walked down a long corridor in the direction of the chapel. When I arrived I quietly entered the sanctuary and sat on a back-row pew. I was the only one in there, which suited me just fine. I sat heavily on the mahogany pew and pulled my legs up so my feet were resting on the bench. Hugging my knees, I let go of my emotions and sobbed in solitude.
I felt so stupid, dumb and humiliated. My heart ached so badly that it felt as if the pain was choking my soul to death. I hated myself for thinking that Wesley would be waiting for my arrival. My emotions were overwhelming and unmanageable. I didn’t know if I’d ever bring myself to stop crying. I felt as if I’d been kicked in the gut by a mule. I hugged myself, rocking back and forth for a while, replaying how everything had just gone down. I then decided to lie down because I was exhausted and my head had begun to hurt. It wasn’t long before I drifted off to sleep.
When I awoke I had a major cramp in my neck that I immediately tried to massage. I sat upright and stared at the wooden pulpit and the crucifix suspended high above it. I didn’t know what I was going to do or where I was going to go. The only thing I was certain of was that I’d screwed up big-time. My unreasonable emotions and disrespectful mouth caused me to blindly toss away the best life that I could’ve ever hoped for, over a boy who was playing me for a fool. Numbness weighed down on me as the reality of my existence hit me hard like a punch from a prizefighter. Jordan probably didn’t want to see me ever again, and I couldn’t blame him for feeling that way. I had no place to go. I was low on cash and I longed for a hot shower. I placed my face in my hands and cried some more. I heard my phone vibrating. I opened up my purse, removed the phone and glanced at the caller ID. It was Maya.
“Hello,” I answered tearfully.
“Oh, wow. You don’t sound too good.” Maya picked up on the sorrow in my voice right away. “What’s going on, Keysha?”
“I’ve seen better days,” I muttered, confirming her suspicions.
“Well, what happened? Did you make it there safely? Did you see Wesley? Is he okay? Is he paralyzed? Come on, Keysha, talk to me.” Maya was eager to learn every detail.
“Maya, I’ve screwed up so badly,” I said, sniffling.
“Keysha, what happened? You’re scaring me,” Maya admitted.
I took a few deep breaths and said, “My dad caught me at the bus station and gave me an ultimatum. He told me that if I came to see Wesley, I shouldn’t bother coming back home.”
“Damn. So you’re still at home?” I could hear the disappointment in her voice.
“No,” I answered. “I’m not at home.”
“You mean you actually stood up against your dad and went anyway?” Maya’s voice rose to an earsplitting pitch.
“Yes,” I admitted, realizing that I’d made a very foolish decision.
“It sounds as if you’ve found your true love. True passion makes you do extreme stuff like standing up to your parents. I read about this sort of stuff all of the time in my mother’s old romance novels. You remind me so much of the characters in those books. Standing up to your father for the sake of your one true love.” Maya was going off on some rose-colored fantasy.
“Well, it’s too bad that my Prince Charming has eyes for another girl,” I said, obliterating Maya’s romantic pipe dream.
“Another girl?”
“Yes. Another girl. I think Wesley’s the type of guy who likes to go around rescuing girls as if he’s on some type of crusade to save every brokenhearted chickenhead he can find,” I said earnestly.
“What kind of sense does that make? That doesn’t even sound right, Keysha.”
“Maya, there was another girl in the room spoon-feeding him. It was the girl he’d taken the bullet for.”
“Well, did you beat her down?” Maya asked.
“I almost did, but I didn’t have the strength because I was so hurt by his betrayal. I risked everything to be with him—I thought he loved me the same way that I loved him.” I began crying once again. I couldn’t help it. I was an emotional wreck.
“Don’t cry, Keysha.” Maya paused and listened as I sobbed. “You’re making me cry,” she said, sniffling along with me. “What are you going to do now, Keysha? Do you think your dad will let you come back home?”
“I don’t think so,” I answered.
“I could talk to my mom and see if she’ll let you crash here at my place for a few days until you can figure something out.”
“Thanks, Maya,” I said, wondering what it would be like staying at her place for a little while.
“What a jerk!” Maya said, now furious with Wesley. “How could he do that to you!”
“I don’t know. All I know is that right now I want to leave this hospital, but I can’t because I don’t know where to go. I’m homeless, Maya. I am literally homeless.”
“No, you’re not. If my mom won’t allow you to stay then I’ll sneak you into my house.” Maya wanted to make sure that I understood how far she’d go to support me during this difficult time.
“Thank you,” I said as I exhaled while simultaneously smearing away my streaming tears. “Let me call you back. I need to find a bathroom so I can get myself together.”
“Wait! How are you going to get back here?” Maya asked.
“I don’t know, but I’ll figure out something. I just need a little time alone to think things through.”
>
“Promise me you’ll call back.”
“Yes, I promise to call you back,” I said and ended the call. When I looked at my phone I noticed two things: the battery was very low and there were a number of calls from Jordan, Barbara and Wesley. Just as I was about to call Wesley back, I received an incoming call from Grandmother Katie. I really didn’t want to talk to anyone from the family, but it was too difficult for me to ignore Grandmother Katie. I couldn’t just tell her to go to hell and feel good about it.
“Hello,” I answered in tears.
“Keysha?” Grandmother Katie’s smooth voice was like a beautiful melody to my ears. However, I could hear the questions riding beneath her angelic voice.
“Yes,” I whispered softly, almost afraid to speak. I knew that she must’ve been very disappointed and upset with me.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
“No,” I said, leaning forward and glancing down at my feet.
“Are you in a safe place?” she asked.
“Yes.”
“Do you need some help?” she asked, sensing I was in over my head. I was overjoyed to hear her offer me help after all the drama I’d caused. I thought for sure she’d phoned to disown me. I couldn’t even bring myself to say yes because I was so choked up.
“Are you still there?” she asked.
“Jordan hates me now. I blew up at him and I can never go back there and—”
“Keysha, where are you?” Grandmother Katie asked in a firm but loving voice.
“At a hospital in Indianapolis sitting in the chapel going crazy,” I answered.
“I want you to give me the name of the hospital and then I want you to sit tight until I arrive. Can you do that for me?”
“You’re actually going to come here and get me?” I felt awful about her having to travel so far on my behalf.
“Well, you can’t live in a hospital, honey. Besides, hospital food doesn’t taste very good.” I laughed a little at her comment.
“I have a little money left. I think I have enough to come to you,” I said, offering her an alternative.
“No, that’s not necessary. Let me come get you, baby. Now give me the address,” she demanded.
“Okay,” I answered and then gave her the information she requested.
When I ended my phone conversation with Grandmother Katie, I looked at all of the phone calls I’d gotten from Wesley. For a brief second I thought about returning his call, but then the image of him kissing Lori popped into my mind and upset me all over again. I then thought about calling Jordan and Barbara back, but I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to explain myself and at that particular point I wasn’t emotionally strong enough to deal with their disappointment. I decided to call Mike to see how things were going.
“Yo, this is your boy Big Mike. Leave a message and I might holla back.” I didn’t want to leave a message on his voice mail so I hung up the phone. I knew it would be a while before Grandmother Katie got there, so I decided to go look for something to eat. I walked out of the chapel and exited the hospital. I briefly wondered if Wesley’s father would try to find me but hoped he wouldn’t bother. I took a quick glance around and noticed a shopping center off in the distance.
“There’s probably a McDonald’s or something over there,” I reasoned. When I arrived at the shopping center, I easily located the food court area. I ordered food from a Chinese restaurant and then found a place to sit and eat. After I ate, I walked around for a while and killed some time window-shopping. I was pleasantly surprised that the mall had a movie theater and decided to see what was playing. I had the option of watching several blockbuster films, but the one starring Will Smith won me over. After the movie ended, I walked back over to the hospital so that I could tell Wesley what else was on my mind. When I reached his room and walked inside, his bed had been made up as if he had never been a patient there. I went directly to the nurses’ station.
“Excuse me, but can you tell me where Wesley Morris is?” I asked.
“Sure, hang on,” said the nurse as she opened up a black binder and searched for his name. “Wesley Morris…Oh, yes, he was released earlier today.”
“You mean he’s gone?” I asked, wanting to make sure that I’d heard her correctly.
“Yes. He’s gone home,” the nurse repeated what she’d already told me. I exhaled a frustrated sigh.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
“Yes, I’m fine.” I stepped away and pulled out my cell phone, but there was nothing I could do because the battery was dead. I knew for a fact that I’d forgotten my charger during my rush to leave the house.
“This entire situation is so lame,” I muttered to myself as I headed back down to the chapel. When I reentered the sanctuary, I saw a priest dressed in black sitting next to an elderly woman. It was clear they were praying and I didn’t want to disturb them. I took a seat in the last row and decided to lie down. I was so tired and mentally drained. I longed for the comfort of my bed, but that wasn’t possible because of the foolish mistake I’d made.
I was jolted awake by someone shaking my shoulder and calling my name.
“Keysha,” the voice said repeatedly.
“What?” I answered groggily as I sat upright. I had the worst cramp in my neck and my back ached.
“Come on. Let’s go.” I covered my eyes with my hand for a split second and then removed it. I squinted at Grandmother Katie, who looked as if she was exhausted from the long drive. The whites of her eyes were red and small pouches had formed below them. Bags beneath anyone’s eyes was a clear indication of a restless night. She was dressed comfortably in blue jeans and an oversize sweatshirt that read I Love Jesus.
“Come on. We’re going to go find a hotel room,” she said, shaking me gently once more.
“Okay,” I said and then gave her a giant hug. “I’m so happy to see you,” I whispered to her.
“I know you are. Come on. We’ll talk about all of this in the morning. Right now we both need to get some sleep.” Grandmother Katie looked a bit weary but seemed happy to have found me safe and unharmed.
The following day I woke up to the sound of Grandmother Katie talking on the phone. I immediately knew that she was talking to someone about me. I decided to keep my eyes closed to keep up the appearance of being asleep. “Yes, she’s with me now,” I heard her say as she pulled back the drapes. “No, I just think she’s a little confused and sorrowful right now…. Okay. We’re going to go get something to eat and then head on back…. Okay, we’ll see you then.” Grandmother Katie then hung up the phone. I felt as if I wanted to sleep forever and never face a new day or the consequences that were waiting for me. I just wanted to drop off of the face of the earth and disappear.
Grandmother Katie moved around the small hotel room freshening up while humming a melody that filled the room with a special kind of enchantment. Eventually I just opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling.
“Well, good morning,” Grandmother Katie said as she sat on the bed next to me and smiled as if we had agreed to take a road trip to Indianapolis together.
“Good morning,” I replied as I hugged the pillow tightly against me.
Grandmother Katie lovingly stroked my shoulder and said, “I extended our checkout time until two o’ clock this afternoon, but we only have one hour left. So I need you to get up, put on some fresh clothes so we can head on back home.”
“Are you taking me back to your house?” I asked, not wanting to return home to face Jordan.
“Keysha, as much as I’d love for you to come stay with me, you have to get back home so you can be ready for school tomorrow morning.”
“I don’t want to go back home. I just want to crawl under a rock.”
“I can imagine…however, you’re still young and trust me when I say you’re going to have days in your life that are going to feel one hundred times worse than this one.” She gave me a reassuring smile.
“You’re kidding, right? How can I pos
sibly feel any worse than I do right now?” I asked. Grandmother chuckled.
“When you have children of your own, you’ll understand. Now come on.” She pulled back the bedding. “Let’s get out and face the day standing upright with our heads held high.”
“Okay,” I said as I got out of the bed and entered the bathroom.
After Grandmother Katie and I ate lunch at a nearby Rainforest Cafe, we got on the highway and headed back toward Chicago. I fumbled with the radio in search of some good music to listen to. I wanted to hear some Lil Wayne, Jazmine Sullivan, or Fantasia.
“Right there, let that song play.” Grandmother Katie had me stop at a gospel station. “That’s Marvin Sapp,” she said as she set the cruise control on her car.
“Marvin Sapp? I ain’t never heard of no Marvin Sapp,” I said, a little bit upset that I had to listen to her music.
“First of all, watch your grammar. Second, listen to what he’s saying. He’s saying he never would have made it, never could’ve made it, without you.” Grandmother Katie began singing the lyrics. It was the first time I’d heard her sing and her voice was beautiful—robust and melodious and it had the power to give me goose bumps. Grandmother Katie sang the song with remarkable fervor. She forced my ears to hear every word and suddenly, as if she’d cast some type of magical spell, I understood. I sang a verse with her even though I knew my voice was nowhere near as strong as hers.
Grandmother Katie encouraged me to keep singing along with her as best as I could, so I dutifully followed her lead. When the song ended, Grandmother Katie turned down the radio.
“You have a nice voice, Keysha. With a few voice lessons you’d probably sing like a bird,” she said as she smiled at me.
“I had no idea you could sing like that. You should’ve gotten a recording contract with that voice. I’m for real. You’re voice has a punch to it like Whitney Houston or Jennifer Hudson,” I said, utterly amazed by the discovery of her voice. Grandmother Katie chuckled.