by Lily Rose
“I wouldn’t know. I never look.” He sat on the couch and loosened his tie. “What’s new with you?”
I sat beside him. “The invitations have been sent and everything is underway. It’ll be a fun party.”
“Awesome.” He set his beer down and didn’t drink it again.
I knew what was coming.
“Marie told me you’re okay with Hawke being my best man.”
Seriously, could we just move on?
“But I wanted to make sure before I actually asked him.”
“You’re making this into a bigger deal than it needs to be,” I snapped. “Yes, we went out for a few months but we broke up. Couples break up all the time. He and I will get along just fine.”
Axel stared at me with a look I didn’t see very often. It was full of sadness—and pity. “He wasn’t just a boyfriend to you. I was there, Frankie. Whatever you had…it was rare.”
I used to think the same thing. But I didn’t anymore. “But it’s been two years, Axel. A lot has changed. I’m very happy with where I am in my life. I don’t think about him anymore. I haven’t thought about him in a long time.” I never asked about Hawke since we broke up. I never even mentioned his name. And Marie and Axel never brought him up either. I knew they spent time with him, but they never mentioned it to me.
“Then why haven’t you had a boyfriend?”
“None of your business,” I snapped.
“Don’t get defensive.”
“I’m super picky. I don’t settle. You know me.”
“This is New York City. You should have found someone by now.”
Did that mean Hawke had already found someone? Was he in a relationship? I pushed the thought away because it didn’t matter. “Don’t tell me where I should be in life. I’m very happy you and Marie are getting a happily ever after, but that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me just because I haven’t found that yet.”
He backpedaled. “You’re right. I just don’t want to go through with this if it’s going to make you uncomfortable. He’s my best friend but you’re my sister. You’re the priority.”
When would people start believing that I couldn’t care less about Hawke? “Ask him, Axel. He’s been a good friend to you for a long time. He deserves to be your best man.”
Hesitance was still in his eyes.
“Why don’t you believe me? When have I ever given you the impression I wasn’t over him?”
“You haven’t. I just remember everything.”
“It’s in the past, Axel. The time Hawke and I had together was great, but it’s been over for a long time. I’ve moved on and so has he. You’re just going to have to accept that.”
He sighed. “I guess so. It’s just…you haven’t talked since. Will it be weird?”
“Well, it’s not going to be pleasant but it won’t be terrible either. And don’t worry about Hawke and me. It’s your wedding day. He and I can put aside our differences for a day.”
“There’s a lot of stuff in between,” he said. “Planning, parties, and all that.”
“Well, we can get through that too. Stop being a drama queen.”
He chuckled. “I just want to make sure everything is okay.”
“Don’t worry about us. Seriously.”
“Okay.” He finally loosened up. “I’m going to ask him. This is your last chance.”
I held his gaze and didn’t appear intimidated.
He stood up. “Okay. There’s no turning back.”
“Good. What happened between us is irrelevant. He’s a good friend to you and has always been there for you. It wouldn’t feel right if you asked someone else.” While I wished I didn’t have to see Hawke at all, my brother and Marie were more important. They deserved to have a special day with everyone they cared about. Nothing else mattered.
He patted my hand. “You’re a good sister. I know I tease you a lot and say I hate you but…you’re pretty cool.”
“I am cool.”
“Okay…now you’re just conceited.”
“No, I’m accepting your compliment. And it was a very nice compliment.” I patted his hand in return.
He gave me a quick smile. “Thank you for everything you’re doing for Marie. I really appreciate it.”
“She’s my best friend. She deserves only the best.”
“She does.”
“And thanks for not being a jerk to her.”
He chuckled. “I’m a jerk…sometimes. But I’m pretty sure she likes it.”
2
The Engagement Party
Francesca
Everything was perfect.
The white lights streaming across the sky lit up every table. Small candles glowed along with the centerpieces, and the New York Skyline gave the rooftop an unearthly glow. The three-tier cake I made sat on a table in the corner, and waiters moved around with bottles of champagne. The caterers had the food ready to be served.
I did a great job.
It was better than most weddings. It was over-the-top for an engagement party but it had to be perfect. This was for my best friend and brother, the two people most important to me. And I knew my parents would want the best for Axel if they were to experience it.
Yaya approached me and gave me a big hug. “Honey, it looks beautiful.”
“Thanks, Yaya. It took me all day, but I made it happen.”
“Just like your mother,” Yaya said. “She was always good at these types of things. She was a social butterfly.”
I wouldn’t go to that extreme. I didn’t enjoy making small talk with people I didn’t know, but I didn’t hate it either. “Thanks, Yaya. I know she would love it if she were here to see it.”
“She would.” She patted my back. “Axel is such a sweet boy, and he deserves the best.”
He was nearly thirty years old, but she still saw him as a young child. “He is.”
Other people started to file in as they arrived. Gifts were placed on the table in the corner, and people inserted cards into the large mailbox I decorated. My heart rate started to increase when I remembered I would come face-to-face with Hawke eventually. There was no way of getting around it, and everyone would watch our interaction.
The break up was devastating for me. I felt like I lost my parents all over again. Hawke made me whole like never before, and when he left, he broke me in half. It wasn’t easy to get out of bed. It wasn’t easy to eat. But I had two years to recover, and I needed to forget about that painful experience and hold my head high. I refused to let Hawke understand how much he hurt me. If he really cared, he wouldn’t have left to begin with.
“Oh my gosh!” Marie gasped as she walked inside. “It’s so beautiful!”
“I know.” Now wasn’t the time to be humble.
Marie hugged me and practically snapped my ribcage when she squeezed me. “You did such an amazing job.”
“It had to be perfect for the bride.”
“And the groom.” Axel came next, wearing slacks and a collared shirt. “You did great, sis.”
“Thanks.”
To my surprise, he hugged me too. “I didn’t know you had it in you.”
“Yes, you did.” I shoved him away playfully.
“Babe, doesn’t it look awesome?” Marie stared at the lights then the centerpieces.
“It does, baby.” He stared at her fondly before he turned back to me. “Thanks for making her happy.”
“No problem,” I said.
Other people filed in, and I chatted with her other bridesmaids. I knew some of them from previous interactions but not really well. They worked with Marie at the magazine, so we didn’t have much in common. But they seemed to be impressed with my work.
Family members and other friends came in and took their seats. Wine was poured and the laughter began.
Hawke still wasn’t there.
Maybe he wasn’t coming.
That would work out for me.
But he wouldn’t miss Axel’s engagement party
no matter how much he wanted to avoid me. Was he dreading seeing me as much as I was dreading seeing him? Did he not care at all? What if he walked in with a date? What if he was married?
My stomach pooled with acid at the thought.
I was over him, but no matter how much time had passed, seeing him with a wife would hurt me deeply. My heart had slowly let him go, but that didn’t mean it hadn’t been devoted to him at one point in time. I always thought we would be together forever. If someone else was his forever, I wasn’t sure how I would handle it.
“It’s beautiful.” His deep voice sounded exactly the same as it used to. I recognized that booming tone, coming all the way from his chest. The air shifted around him when he was near me, and his scent washed over me. I hadn’t smelled it in years, but as soon as I registered it in my brain, memories washed over me. It was like I experienced it all over again in the blink of an eye.
My arms responded with goose bumps, and my heart hammered in my chest like someone gave me a shot of adrenaline. I felt cold and warm at the same time. My natural instinct was to run but my feet refused to let me move. I was over him, and I needed to prove that I was perfectly fine without him. “Thank you.” My voice came out surprisingly steady, and I wanted to pat myself on the back.
I turned my gaze toward him, and the earlier strength I possessed disappeared. He wore black slacks and a gray collared shirt. A black vest was over his chest, highlighting all the muscles of his body. He somehow managed to pack on more muscle.
His chin was covered in a lining of hair from not shaving for a few days, but the look made him rugged and sexy. His eyes were just as blue as before, deep and captivating. I could fall into their depths all over again if I weren’t careful. His brown hair was exactly the same as it used to be, slightly curly at the ends and a little messy. Had he run his fingers through it anxiously on the way here? Was he just as nervous as I was?
His eyes took me in, but they never left my face. He didn’t look me up and down like the first time we met. His hands were in his pockets, and it was clear he didn’t plan to greet me in any physical way—not even with a handshake.
Which was fine by me.
His eyes moved to the cake in the corner. “Can I assume that was your doing?”
“Yes.” I glanced at the table then turned back to him. “I spent ten hours making it. It’s absolutely perfect—for the perfect girl.”
A tiny glimpse of affection moved into his eyes but it quickly disappeared. He continued to stand beside me, rigid but not uncomfortable. “It’s nice to see you.”
Did he really mean that? He was a smooth talker and could make anyone feel anything. He was aware of his talents. “It’s nice to see you too.”
“You look beautiful—like always.”
That comment took it too far, and I didn’t like it one bit. I knew this meeting would be difficult, but I didn’t want to make it more painful than necessary. I did a good job hiding my reaction of disappointment. “Thank you. You do too.”
“I look beautiful?” That cocky smile spread across his lips.
Was he seriously going to talk to me like nothing ever happened? The last time I saw him, he left me alone in his apartment. I fell to my knees and cried as he walked out of my life and never looked back. And that was after I gave him my journal, the most personal thing I possessed.
Maybe I wasn’t as strong as I thought.
I managed to play along. “In so many words.” I forced a smile that physically caused me pain then placed my hand on his shoulder. “Excuse me, I have more people to greet.” I dropped my hand and walked around him. Once my face was hidden, I released the air from my lungs and finally felt my heart slow down.
Thank goodness I got that over with.
I sat beside Marie while Axel sat on the opposite side of her. Hawke was on Axel’s other side. The tables were round, and I wasn’t face-to-face with him, thankfully. But he was still too close for comfort.
“I guess you were right,” Marie whispered to me.
“About what?” I drank my wine and realized I needed to pace myself. I already had three glasses.
“Hawke.” She kept her voice low. “I saw you guys talking. It didn’t seem weird at all.”
“It wasn’t.” That was a huge lie, but I wouldn’t admit the truth to her—not right now.
“I’m glad Axel and I were wrong. We were making a fuss over nothing.”
“Like always.” I clanked my glass against hers and took a long drink.
“Baby, let’s dance.” Axel leaned toward her and pressed kisses into her neck. It was clear he was a little buzzed—and very happy.
“There’s no dance floor.” She pushed him away gently.
“Right there.” He pointed to the table near the cake. “Come on. I love this song.”
She sighed like she was irritated, but there was an unmistakable smile on her lips.
Axel got up then pulled her to her feet. “I want to show you off to everyone.”
“But everyone here has already seen me,” she said as she let him pull her away.
“But now you’re going to be my wife. I want everyone to know how lucky I am.” He put his arm around her waist then guided her to the small area. Then he danced slowly with her, looking like a man very much in love. His eyes were glued to her, and he stared at her like he never wanted to stop. Marie was the only woman I’d ever seen him act like this with. She really was the one.
Hawke scooted over one seat so we were closer together.
Just leave me alone.
There was one empty chair between us but that wasn’t enough space. I could smell his scent and I hated the way it made me feel. Memories kept rushing through my mind, the ones I tried to repress. “I’m really happy for them.”
“I am too.” I kept my eyes glued to them. It was better to watch my brother than to stare at Hawke’s beautiful face. Those blue eyes had haunted me for a long time. It took me months to learn to sleep alone after he left. I wasn’t weak or easy to break, but Hawke made a fool out of me and shattered me like colored glass.
“Marie makes him a better man. I’ve never seen that idiot so happy.” He released a quiet chuckle.
“Marie is a better woman too.” This conversation was too unnatural. How could we sit there and pretend we didn’t remember the last time we saw each other? I said we were soul mates and he agreed. Or was he just saying that? I would never know because I refused to ask.
“How are you?” His eyes moved to my face.
I could feel them burn the side of my cheek. I was doing much better before you walked through the door. “Good. How are you?”
“I’m okay.” He didn’t elaborate further. “I heard your bakery is a success—congratulations.”
He asked Axel about me? Or did Axel just say things? “Thank you. It’s a dream come true.” I didn’t put much emotion into my words. It was too difficult to sound excited or remotely happy when he was this close to me. My stomach tightened in cramps, and my leg couldn’t stop shaking under the table.
“I knew you would make it.” His voice came out quiet, like he didn’t want anyone else to hear.
I didn’t know what to say to that. Our conversation wasn’t natural like it used to be. When we first met, everything flowed like it was meant to. Now…everything was different. “It was hard work. But that just makes me appreciate it even more.”
“That’s a good way to look at it.”
It would be rude if I didn’t ask about his professional life, not when he asked about mine. “Where are you working now?”
“Well…that’s a long story,” he said with a sigh. “I worked at a broker for a year then I decided to open up my own investment company. It’s been doing well.”
That explained his apartment on Park Avenue. “Good. I’m glad things worked out.”
“Thanks.” He sipped his wine then turned his gaze on Marie and Axel.
Were we done now? I had enough chitchat for one night.
Matt walked through the door at the top of the stairs and searched the crowd. He must be looking for me.
Hawke turned his gaze back to me. “So, are you—”
“Matt, over here.” Enough of this torture.
Matt found me then headed my way.
Hawke didn’t repeat whatever he was trying to say.
Matt slid into the empty chair beside me. “You totally redid this place. It doesn’t even look the same anymore.” He wore jeans and a collared shirt. His hair was combed back, and his chest looked nice in his shirt.
I knew it was petty, but I hoped Hawke assumed Matt and I were together. I thought I was above that, but after seeing Hawke look so suave and completely indifferent to me, I was hurt. “It took some grunt work. You don’t want to see the gunk underneath my fingernails.”
“You better treat yourself to a mani.” Matt winked at me.
“Actually, I should just rip them off because they’re so dirty.”
Matt cringed. “That would be creepy…no fingernails.”
I chuckled. “It would be, huh?”
Matt seemed to notice Hawke staring at us. “Hi, I’m Matt.” He extended his hand.
Hawke eyed it like he might not take it. But then he shook his hand. “Hawke. Nice to meet you.”
“Are you a friend of Frankie’s?” Matt asked.
“Something like that.” Hawke took a drink of his wine and ended the conversation.
Matt turned back to me like that wasn’t awkward. “Any cake left?”
“You really think I wouldn’t save you a piece? Not after you arranged to let me use this rooftop?”
“Hey, we’re even,” he said quickly. “You helped me out with the banquet.”
“In exchange for money,” I said with a laugh. “That doesn’t count as a favor.”
“It does to me.” Matt gave me an affectionate look before he saw Marie and Axel. “Is that the happy couple?”
“Yep.”
“I recognize her from the bakery.”
“Yeah, that’s Marie. And that’s my brother.”
“I guess I see the similarities…” He squinted his eyes like he was trying to make out a small spot a hundred feet away.