by Mind Guest
"You're not by any chance thinking of me as being as young as I look,
are you?" I asked suddenly, bringing a flash of startlement to his
eyes. "Bellna is this young and innocent and helpless; I'm not. Putting
me half under a bush, awash in my own blood, has been tried before any
number of times. It didn't work then, and it's not guaranteed to work
now. If you don't believe that, I'll be glad to prove it by tossing you
into the fireplace. Just say the word."
"I think I can get along well enough without your kind offer," he
answered, a faint smile just beginning to curve his lips. "I'm not that
easy to toss into a fireplace, but I'm willing to stipulate the fact
that you're competent. The only question is, are you competent enough
to overcome the handicap you have? Will you be able to handle it no
matter what the situation?"
"Well, I can think of one situation when I may not be able to handle
it," I said, deciding to try some calculated misdirection. "I'm glad
you didn't try beating me with that belt; I don't know if I could have
kept control of myself."
"You think you would have lost control to Bellna?" he asked with a
frown. "Because of a beating? What makes you think she would have
dominated you at a time like that?"
"I'm not talking about her dominating me," I said, shaking my head as I
lay back down and stretched out. "In fact, it has nothing to do with
Bellna. I'm the one with an aversion to being beaten, and I've been
known to be somewhat-harsh with people who try it. I had a run-in with
a heavy whip once, and the passage of time hasn't done much to make me
forget it."
"Harsh," he echoed, a strange expression on his face as he looked down
at me. "Your eyes turn soulless when you say that. I've never had a
heavy whip used on me, but I can imagine what it must be like. Tell me
what was done to you."
"It's impossible to imagine what it's like without experiencing it," I
said, unable to keep the harshness out of my tone even though I looked
away from him. "As far as the rest of it goes, I'd rather not discuss
it."
"You're trembling," he said, his hand suddenly on my arm. "Of course we
don't have to discuss it if you don't want to. Are you all right?"
I turned my head back to him and nodded without speaking. I always
trembled when I thought about that one -particular incident, and not
just from anger. Anyone who thinks they would react differently and
more bravely is invited to try it for themselves.
"You shouldn't have much to worry about on that score at least," Grigon
said, moving his other hand to stroke my hair. "Most men on this world
would rather bed a female than beat her, especially one who looks like
Bellna. Your peasant girl role was good enough to mollify anyone who
wasn't actively bent on harming Bellna; if you run into the other kind,
you're free to defend yourself. If you were able to keep me from seeing
such deep-seated emotions when you brought my belt, you should be able
to retain control at other times. I feel considerably better about this
now."
"I'm glad to hear that," I said, producing a smile to match the one he
was wearing. "With that in mind, I think I ought to get some sleep now.
Tomorrow will be a busy day."
"Uh, yes, tomorrow," he agreed, suddenly looking more reluctant than
friendly or approving. "I suppose you will need your rest. Are you sure
there isn't anything else you need-that I could help you with?"
"Don't tell me you're asking," I said with brows high, raising' up on one elbow toward him. "What happened to the demands and orders?"
"They go with the other characters," he said, showing a grin. "In my
own persona, I don't indulge in rape unless I have to. And that 'have
to' refers to professional necessity, not last-ditch desperation. If
you tell me to walk away, it won't be the first time I've done it."
"Then I don't have to feel guilty about making you do it again," I
said, lying back down. "Good night."
"That value judgment is open to debate," he sighed, taking his hands
away from me. "Merely expressed as a wish to be granted, however, I
offer the same back to you. Sleep well."
I waited until he had gotten off the bed and had started for his
clothes before calling him back. I'd been curious to see if he really
meant what he'd said about leaving, and at that point there was no
doubt. Although rape tends to turn me stubborn, free agreement on all
sides is another matter entirely -and his abruptly terminated
performance earlier had gotten me curious about how he would do under
other circumstances. He came back to the bed with a soft laugh, took me
in his arms, then proceeded to make my struggle with Bellna less of a
struggle. My invisible guest was losing both her fear and her
reluctance, but her over enthusiasm was something left to be worked on.
I had a very pleasant time - but Bellna loved it.
Chapter 4
I awoke when the automatic sensing system I've developed over the years
told me I was no longer alone in the room. I could hear soft, whispered
conversation, and could see the sudden glow of a just-lit candle
through my slitted eyes. Whoever the intruders were, they certainly
weren't trying to sneak up on me; a second candle cut the dimness, and
another whisper joined the others. The last whisper overrode the first
two sharply, and there was a brief period of silence during which I
could see three long-skirted figures moving across the carpeting in
front of the fireplace. A fourth skirted form passed behind the first
three to the hearth, set wood in it, then worked briefly to get a fire
going. While this was being accomplished the first three opened a large
box, pawed through its hidden contents, then began arguing in very low
tones. All four of the intruders were female, and Bellna's thoughts
indicated they were servants. I hadn't been told to expect any
servants, but then I hadn't been told much of anything. They seemed to
be trying very hard not to wake me up, and the chill in the room's air
did well to convince me that staying where I was was probably my best
course of action. I yawned silently, snuggled down farther under the
covers, and continued with my best course of action.
I wasn't sleepy enough to fall asleep again, but the comfort of the
warmed silk cradling my body set my mind to drifting. It was highly
unlikely that the four women were anything other than the servants
Bellna thought them, and that meant my last-ditch effort with Grigon
the night before hadn't worn off the way I'd been afraid it might. He'd
been very attentive and considerate while making love to me, but most
mature men have no trouble separating bed time from thinking time. If
he hadn't down checked me for the project, it meant that he really had
been convinced by the story I'd told him. Not that the story wasn't
true. There are an uncounted number of times when truth will do more
for you than lying; the catch is in knowing when one of those times has
come by.
I felt a contented p
urr in my mind, and realized that Bellna was also
thinking about Grigon. He was talented enough to satisfy almost any woman, but especially one with Bellna's limited experience. She'd lost
control almost from the first moment he'd entered me, but I'd been able
to ignore her until Grigon began trotting out various facets of his
talent. There are certain things no woman alive can ignore, especially
if she starts out aroused. Grigon had the advantage over me the second
time, and he wasn't shy about pushing for all he was worth. I'd felt my
control slipping, fought to regain it, then realized that I couldn't
fight. My awareness was sliding into Bellna's, the two of them running
together, the resulting consciousness completely bound to the man who
was laughing softly as he watched me. Grigon obviously knew total
surrender when he saw it; the rest of our time together had been filled
with pleasure, but I'd had no say in any part of it. I'd felt nothing
but satisfaction at the time, but looking back on it was somewhat
embarrassing, just as Bellna's girlish memories were. My feeling the
way she did had caused the bonding between us, but was that any better
than having her assume control? The resulting personality didn't do
things the way I did; it might be best if I tried to avoid-"Forgive me,
Highness, yet I must awaken you," a soft voice interrupted my thoughts,
coming from right beside the bed. I opened my eyes to see a young girl,
her hands held nervously before her, no more of her expression visible
than the tremor in her voice. I was basing my guess as to her age on
the sound of her voice, but when she stepped back and turned enough so
that the candlelight touched most of her face, I saw I was right.
"Inform the Princess that her coach and escort have already arrived," a
stage-whisper came from one of the other three. "We must hasten if we
are not to anger the captain."
"You need have fear of angering none save me," I interrupted with
Bellna-huffiness, sitting up while making sure I held the covers
modestly over myself. "Who is this captain you speak of, and how dare
he make demands of me?"
"Captain Fallan is the leader of your mercenary escort, Highness," the
quavering answer came, this time directly from the girl who had
whispered before. She stood with the other two not far from the
fireplace, and all four of them looked nervous and uncomfortable.
"Though he uttered no words of demand, we were instructed to ready you
as quickly as possible. It would be foolish to ignore such
instructions, for mercenaries are known to have little patience, most
especially captains of mercenaries.
The girl stopped to breathe after getting all that out in a rush, the
other three nodding their heads in agreement. All four of them were
young, no more than sixteen at the most, and all of them were clearly
peasants. They wore long print skirts made from some cheap material,
low cut blouses that had once been white, had solid-colored shawls tied
around their hips out of the way, and were barefoot. Bellna didn't know
any of them, and couldn't understand why they were there. The female
servants who usually looked after her were trained ladies' maids,
efficient, genteel and quietly obedient.
"We were brought here by Captain Fallan for the express purpose of
assisting you to readiness," the girl next to the bed said, drawing my
eyes back to her. "We had best do so immediately."
"Had we really," I murmured, letting Bellna's annoyance touch me. "Have
you ever before been privileged to serve a Princess?" They all shook
their heads, looking confused, and I nodded. "I thought not. You have
much to learn before you will be acceptable. Bring me a wrap."
None of the four was terribly pleased with my attitude, and I could see
they were having difficulty remembering and accepting my higher social
position. If I'd been older than they it would have been easier all around, but I wasn't older and I may even have been younger. One of the
two who hadn't spoken yet, a pretty redhead with a good figure, went to
the large box I'd seen them open earlier and pulled out a long, tiearound
dress. The tie-around was the wrap I'd asked for, and when she
brought it to the bed I threw the covers aside, stood up, and let her
put it around me.
"You may bring beverages and foods to break my fast," I informed them
haughtily as I tied the tie-around. "When I have finished my repast,
you may then dress me."
The two who had done all the talking so far began sputtering as a
prelude to arguing, but I wasn't listening to anything I didn't want to
hear. I moved between the heavy curtain and the bed, found the lighter
arrangement Grigon had used the night before, lit the candle, then went
back to jerk the drapes closed in the faces of my new servants. They
were half outraged and half frightened, but I didn't think they'd make
the mistake of outright disobedience. They may not have liked it, but I
war a princess.
I spent some time behind the curtain making use of the room's chamber
pot in private, then went out to find that two of the four girls, the
two talkative ones, were gone. The other two glanced at me
uncomfortably, but kept quiet as I went to the chair in front of the
fire and sat down. Their disapproval was as loud as shouting, but as
long as they didn't say anything out loud Bellna was satisfied, which
meant that L was satisfied. I was more eager to get going than to stop
for a meal, but letting myself be rushed wouldn't have been in
character. Bellna was used to doing things her way, so obnoxious was
the way I would have to play it.
It didn't take long for the two girls to get back, and they didn't look
happy. One of them carried a tray and the other opened the door for
her, and the two of them hurried over to where I was sitting.
"Captain Fallan sends his compliments, Princess," the second one said
while the first, the one who had been nearest the bed, put the tray
across the arms of the chair I sat in. "He wishes you a hearty repast,
yet asks that you partake of it as quickly as possible. Dawn approaches
swiftly, and it is best that we be on our way before then."
"He swore when he heard you had not yet dressed," the girl who had
carried the tray blurted, her face pale in the candlelight. She had
brown hair, just as the second girl did, but looked fractionally
younger. "Had it been I he swore at, I would not have been able to
cease trembling. His anger grows as his patience thins."
"And yet the word he sent was most courteous," I pointed out, lifting
the thick wedge of bread smeared with what looked like butter. "He may
swear as he wishes in the presence of peasants, yet would my father
have his tongue out were he to do the same before me. He will wait as
long as necessary, for it is in my service that he moves. Was the lord
Grigon as displeased as he?"
"The lord spoke no word in our presence, yet did he seem touched by
annoyance," the girl answered, glancing at her friends. They weren't
used to seeing a female get away with mu
rder when dealing with men, and
they weren't sure whether or not they liked it.
"The lord Grigon will also survive," I said with a sniff, then tackled
the fried meat and boiled oats on my plate. The meal was a quick,
slapped-together affair that Bellna didn't care for, but rather than
refuse to touch it, I simply showed distaste while slowly shoveling it
in. I did have to get the show on the road, and could intelligently
delay things only so long. The four girls stood around watching me, the
oddest expressions on their faces, their annoyance growing when they realized I was ignoring them just as much as I was ignoring the men.
Even the slowest meal has to come to an end, and the girls were all
ready for me when I indicated that the wooden tray could be taken. I'd
spent a small amount of time privately admiring the intricately carved
bone that was used in place of wood or metal plates, and could finally
understand Dameron's reference to collectors. The bone plate would have
fit well into my own collection of rare and beautiful things, but there
was no way for me to get it out of there. The only practical solution
would be to come back for it once all the excitement was over, but that
time was a long way off. I had to live through everything in between
first, and that might turn out to be easier said than done.
Once the tray was taken, I had to let myself be dressed. I would have
preferred doing it alone, without help, but that would have been out of
character. The underwear I had managed to avoid in the base was the
first thing produced, to Bellna's satisfaction and the girls'
amusement. The bottom part fit tight down to below my knees, was drawn
closed at my waist, and was made up of frilly layers of lace. The top
part was a short-sleeved, waist4ong jacket with lacings in front, made
of silk without frilly layers, as confining as a straitjacket with the
lacings closed. Raising my arms so that the under-dress could be put on
me wasn't the easy gesture it should have been, setting me to wonder
how I was supposed to fight in that rig. A light blue dress had been
supplied to take the place of the dark blue one Grigon had torn, and
then I was urged into the chair so that my boots could be put on and
laced. My underwear came to just about the top of the boots, and with
the long sleeved, high-collared dress, I was covered all over. Bellna