“No, I don’t. But I really don’t want to go back out there. Can you do anything? Say anything to make it so I don’t go back?”
“I’m sorry, Marcus. That would be up to the doctors. I have no say in it. I’m really sorry.”
“That’s life,” he said.
The next day when Dolly was making her rounds, she found Marcus’s bed occupied by another young man. She was confused. Marcus was nowhere near ready to be transported off the ship. She pulled his chart. Suicide.
“Damn it!”
“What’s up?” Tawny said.
“We just lost another one to suicide. A nice, likeable young guy.”
“It’s hell out there, Dolly. Kids’ll do anything not to have to go back.”
“I get that. Still…” She had nothing more to say. The weight of the war caused her shoulders to sag. She wondered what the hell they were doing out there. Why did these kids have to die? She shook her head. She sounded like Tommy. She reminded herself why they were there and why she was there. She was patriotic and believed in her government. Or did she?
After her shift, she went back to her stateroom and changed into fatigues. She went up to the deck to get some fresh air. That’s when she heard the page. It was calling her back to Finley’s office.
She braced herself, unsure of what was coming, but terrified it would be the worst. She pictured a court-martial in her future and didn’t know if she’d be able to stand the trial. She wanted to jump off the ship and swim to shore to escape whatever Finley had to say. But that wasn’t rational and Dolly knew it. She walked down below to the captain’s office.
Once again, she was made to sit in the small waiting area. She assumed that was to give her time to gather her thoughts, but that was impossible. Her thoughts were all over the board. She didn’t want a dishonorable discharge and didn’t think she deserved one. But it wasn’t up to her. It was up to Captain Finley.
She was finally called into his office, and once again he motioned her to sit in the uncomfortable metal chair across from his expansive desk.
“We’ve concluded our investigation, Samson,” he said with no preamble.
“Yes, sir?”
“And we believe you were involved in a homosexual relationship with Tommy Benton.”
“But—”
“No buts, Samson. We’ve reached our conclusion. As you know, the navy believes homosexuality to be a mental disease. We cannot tolerate it in our ranks. Now, we’re not going to court-martial you so you won’t get a dishonorable discharge, but you will get an undesirable discharge. Do you understand?”
Dolly sat fighting tears. She was getting kicked out. There was nothing she could do.
“Yes, sir.”
“There’s a helicopter waiting on deck. It’ll take you to the airbase at Da Nang. From there you go back to the states. Go pack your stateroom. I don’t want a speck of anything of yours left behind. Get going. The bird leaves in fifteen minutes.”
“Yes, sir.”
Dolly went back to her room, tears streaming down her face. She didn’t try to hide it. Her world was crashing in around her. She had nowhere to go and no one to talk to. She couldn’t tell her parents. She couldn’t tell her friends. She was lost. She packed her duffle bag, made sure her area looked unoccupied and headed to the deck and the waiting transport.
Chapter Twenty-one
Tommy had just returned from fishing in the creek. She had only caught a few fish, but the time on the creek was always so peaceful. She took the fish to the dining hall and wandered back to her tent. It was a beautiful day. The sky was bright blue and the temperature was in the mid seventies. She loved days like that. She was happy. Life was good.
She lay down on her bunk and closed her eyes to take a nap.
“Excuse me. Tommy, are you home?”
She sat up in bed. That voice. No way. She went to the door of her tent and opened it. There stood Dolly, a duffle bag on her back and eyes swollen. Her heart went out to her briefly before she remembered the pain Dolly had inflicted on her. She was cool.
“What are you doing here?”
“I’m sorry to bother you, but I don’t have any place else to go.”
“Are you on liberty again so soon?”
“No, Tommy. I got kicked out.”
“You what?”
“I got an undesirable discharge,” Dolly said.
“What does that mean?”
“It’s not as bad as a dishonorable discharge, but it’s close. I still won’t get any of my rights or privileges.”
“So you were court-martialed or something?”
“No. That requires a trial, and I think Finley didn’t want to deal with that.”
“Well, couldn’t you have demanded one?” Tommy said.
“And have people dredge up my personal life? No, thanks. The result would have been the same. Only I could have ended up with a dishonorable discharge. Mine’s not that bad.”
“I still don’t understand,” Tommy said. “What were you kicked out for?”
“Being a lesbian.”
“What?”
“They have a file on you, Tommy. You’re a known communist and a known lesbian.”
“I’m not a communist.” Tommy was adamant about that, though secretly happy to know the military had a file on her. She must be doing something right.
“Well,” Dolly said, “in their minds you are.”
Tommy felt guilty. Her heart fell when she realized what Dolly was saying.
“So you got kicked out because of me?”
“Because of my involvement with you as a lesbian. Yes.”
Tommy sat on her bed.
“I’m so sorry, Dolly. I never wanted that to happen.”
“I was worried it would. And it did. Still, I wouldn’t have given up that time with you.”
Tommy was confused. Had it all been real to Dolly after all? If not, why would she have come here to find her? Had she really called it off because she was scared of just this happening?
“So now what are you going to do?” Tommy said.
“I have no idea. I was hoping I could crash with you for a while while I figure things out.”
Tommy was torn. She wanted to say yes, but still didn’t know if she trusted her.
“I’m even willing to go on protests against the war,” Dolly said. “I’ve seen so much, Tommy. You can’t imagine the damage done to our young men and women over there.”
“I can imagine. That’s why I’m against it. We have no right to be over there and those kids are paying a price for nothing.”
“I agree,” Dolly said softly.
“You do?”
“I do.”
“Wow. Okay. I never expected to hear you say that.”
“I never thought I’d be in a position to,” Dolly said.
“Let’s go for a walk. Set your stuff down anywhere.”
“Does that mean I can stay?”
“I’m still not sure. You hurt me in a way no one else ever has, Dolly. You need to understand that.”
“And you need to understand I had to do it so this wouldn’t happen,” Dolly said.
“And yet it did.”
“Yes. It did.”
Dolly set her duffle bag on the floor across the tent from Tommy’s cot. She followed Tommy out of the tent and through the maze of tents until they came to a clearing. Tommy led her to the banks of the creek and sat on a rock. Dolly did the same.
“I’m confused, Dolly. You’re the last person I thought would show up at my tent. Today or any day. I didn’t write you back on purpose, Dolly. The way you left made me want you out of my life forever.”
“If you had listened to me, you’d have known that wasn’t what I wanted.”
“No. You wanted it both ways. And that was even worse,” Tommy said. “But now you’re back. And you got kicked out of doing what you love because of me. I feel guilty. But if I let you stay with me, I don’t want it to be out of guilt.”
> “Neither do I,” Dolly said. “I want it to be out of feelings for me. At least feelings of friendship, if not more.”
“Do you understand that you’re the only woman I’ve ever loved?” Tommy said. “Do you really grasp that?”
“And you’re the only woman I’ve ever loved.”
“Well, you had a funny way of showing it when you left.”
“What if I hadn’t called it off, Tommy? What then? Would you have walked me to the ship to say good-bye? Hell no. You’d still be standing with your group yelling hateful things, knowing full well I was on that ship. That was the whole thing. We were on two different sides of a major issue. That didn’t mean I didn’t love you.”
“So now we’re on the same page so I should take you back and we can live happily ever after?”
“Tommy, I get it that you’re still angry with me,” Dolly said. “And I won’t ask for forever. I can’t really, can I? But I really do need a place to stay while I figure out what to do with my life and you are the first person I thought of.”
“I can’t imagine why you thought of me. After the way you left things.”
“I guess I wanted a chance to prove to you that I do love you.”
“Do or did?” Tommy said.
“Both, I suppose.”
“Both?”
“Yes, Tommy. I never quit loving you. I looked for a letter from you every day on that ship. I never gave up hope. I still love you, but I’ll understand if you don’t love me. If you can just accept me as a friend, I’ll be happy.”
“I’m still so blown away. I heard your voice at my tent and I thought ‘it can’t be.’ And even as I thought that, I wanted it to be,” Tommy said.
“Tommy, think of all the good times we had while I was on liberty. We had a groovy time together. You have to admit that.”
“It was groovy, yes, but it wasn’t real life. It was a lifetime of love compacted into three days. We made love all the time and played tourist. It wasn’t real life. Real life to me is living in a tent and protesting social injustices. What’s real life for you, Dolly?”
“I don’t know. Can’t you understand that? That’s what I need to figure out. My real life was supposed to be planned out for me in the navy. I didn’t have to question it. Real life meant helping injured and dying kids on a ship. That was ripped from me. I have no idea what my life looks like now,” Dolly said.
“What do you think it does?”
“I’m hoping to get a job as a nurse somewhere. But I don’t know that anyone would hire me with an undesirable discharge.”
“Yeah, I’m sure that would be tough.”
“But I meant what I said. I’d be willing to go on protest marches with you, Tommy.”
“You can’t be a nurse and live on a commune. I don’t think that would work.”
“No. I don’t think so, either. But as I said, I don’t know that I could find a job as a nurse right now anyway.”
“So, this is just a temporary stop for you? I’m a temporary stop?” Tommy said.
“I don’t want you to be a temporary stop. Couldn’t we have a smaller commune in an old house somewhere?”
“Maybe. Someday. Not now, though.”
“No, not now,” Dolly said.
Tommy stood and extended her hand to help Dolly up.
“So, can I stay?” Dolly said.
“Yes, you can stay. For as long as you like. And I forgive you for the way you left things when you had to report back to duty. I understand now the consequences you were facing. I’m sorry I doubted the severity of them.”
Dolly moved closer to Tommy, and Tommy found it hard to breathe with her so close. She felt her arms go around Dolly of their own accord. She pulled her close and lowered her lips to taste hers. Her head spun as their lips met. Her hesitancy melted away, followed by a need she had denied for too long.
Tommy slipped her tongue along Dolly’s lower lip, and Dolly opened her mouth to welcome it. Dolly was warm and moist, and Tommy couldn’t wait to find the rest of her that way.
“Let’s get back to my tent,” Tommy said.
“Yes. Let’s.”
Tommy held her hand the whole way back to her tent. When they arrived, she closed her tent door securely.
“Are you going to be able to do this here?” Tommy said.
“I have to. I couldn’t stop right now even if I wanted to.”
“Good.”
Tommy eased Dolly back on her cot and climbed on top of her. She wanted to ravish her, but forced herself to go slowly. It had been so long, she wanted to savor every moment. Tommy unbuttoned one button, then another on Dolly’s blouse. She kissed every inch of exposed skin with each new button opened.
Dolly’s skin was soft and warm and she smelled like sunshine and fresh air. Tommy continued to go at an easy pace as she peeled Dolly’s shirt off and lay looking at her beautiful breasts held snugly in her bra. She kissed and sucked on the exposed flesh before reaching around to unhook her bra, setting the full breasts free.
Tommy suckled first one and then the other nipple, listening to Dolly’s sharp intake of breath each time. She loved Dolly’s breasts and had missed them terribly. She skimmed her hand along the length of Dolly’s body, watching the goose flesh erupt as she did. Her body was so responsive and felt so nice under Tommy’s touch. She continued to touch every inch of her until she could take it no longer.
She unbuttoned Dolly’s slacks and unzipped them, then pulled them off. Only Dolly’s panties stood in the way of pure pleasure. She pressed the crotch of the panties against Dolly and felt how wet and warm she was. She was as ready for Tommy as Tommy was for her. She stripped them away and moved her hand to her clit.
It was slick, so very slick and she knew she had to taste her. She climbed between her legs and licked the hardened nerve center until Dolly cried out. But Tommy wasn’t done yet. She licked her all over before going back to her clit. She slid her fingers inside and stroked at the silky area she found there. In no time, Dolly was crying out again.
Still, Tommy didn’t quit. She continued over and over until Dolly had to tap her shoulder.
“No more. I can’t take any more,” she said weakly.
Tommy moved up on the cot and took Dolly into her arms. She fell asleep with the knowledge that she’d never let her go again.
About the Author
MJ Williamz was raised on California’s central coast, which she left at age seventeen to pursue an education. She graduated from Chico State, and it was in Chico that she rediscovered her love of writing. It wasn’t until she moved to Portland, however, that her writing really took off, with the publication of her first short story in 2003. She hasn’t looked back.
MJ is the author of nine books, including the award-winning Initiation by Desire and Escapades. She has also had over thirty short stories published, most of them erotica, with a few romances and a few horrors thrown in for good measure.
MJ now lives in Houston with her wife and son.
Visit MJ’s website at www.mjwilliamz.com to keep up with her or friend her on Facebook.
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