by Croix, J. H.
Ryan shrugged. “I don’t know, and I don’t really care. I know I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone, and I’d like to take you to dinner.”
When he stepped closer, I felt my heart move in my chest, as if there were an actual magnetic force drawing me closer to him. I feared he was going kiss me again, and I’d melt into a puddle at his feet right here in his office—because kisses from Ryan were guaranteed to turn me to butter. My apprehension cued me in to just how desperately I wanted him.
He didn’t kiss me, though. Oh no. He simply caught one of my hands in his. The feel of his warm grip curling around mine, then his thumb brushing in slow passes over the back of my palm, made my knees weak and butterflies burst to life in my belly.
Oh my word. I was in deep, deep trouble. I swallowed and managed a ridiculously shallow breath. “Okay. I’ll go to dinner,” I said, my voice coming out just above a whisper.
Ryan’s lips curled at one side and his grin unfurled slowly—that dangerous, delicious grin of his that sent sparks scattering throughout me until I was tingling all over.
“We can stop by my place first. I’ll change out of my suit if that’ll make you feel better.”
I shook my head wildly. “Oh no. Stay in the suit. You really do wear it quite well,” I managed to tease.
“Let’s go then.”
Without releasing my hand, he turned and began walking toward his office door. I planted my cowboy boots firmly in place and tugged on his hand. “Just a second.”
Ryan turned around to face me. I was learning that when he gave me his attention, it was complete, and it drove me a little crazy.
“We’re not having sex,” I blurted out, snapping my mouth shut as soon as the words escaped.
Chapter Ten
Ryan
I stared at Addie, watching as her pretty mouth fell open in a little O shape before she snapped it shut.
“Excuse me?” I countered.
Although her cheeks were flushed pretty and pink, Addie lifted her chin. It had a stubborn tilt to it, and I didn’t doubt for even half a second that Addie could be stubborn.
“I said we’re not having sex,” she repeated, each word enunciated clearly in that delicious southern drawl of hers.
“We’re having dinner. Just dinner, Addie. Although I can’t help but wonder why you feel the need to clarify we aren’t having sex.”
Her chin lifted higher, and her eyes narrowed. “Just thought I should establish the boundaries.”
“Understood.”
As we walked into the small area outside my office where Hazel’s desk was, I glanced her way. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”
“Thanks again for your help, Hazel,” Addie chimed in.
I didn’t miss the twinkle in Hazel’s eyes as they flicked down to where my hand clasped Addie’s. I knew I’d hear about this tomorrow. The fact that I was holding any woman’s hand could be considered newsworthy of gossip around the office. Hazel wasn’t one to gossip, but she’d been on my case for years about not working so hard and not treating every woman I took out as a transaction. Her words, not mine. There was also the fact that I was actually leaving work at a reasonable hour. Working until nine p.m. was the norm for me. I was usually the last one to leave.
Hazel addressed Addie first as we paused in front of her desk. “It was my pleasure, Addie. It was very nice to meet you. If you need anything, please do call. I can’t even imagine what it’s like to be new in a city like this.”
“Oh, that’s sweet. Thanks so much,” Addie replied with one of her wide smiles that made my heart squeeze a bit.
Hazel’s eyes swung to me, and I could see curiosity spinning in her gaze. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
With a nod, I led Addie to the door, holding it open as she walked through. Just as I released it, Hazel’s voice reached me. “Nice to see you leave at a reasonable hour.”
I bit back a chuckle. I should have known Hazel couldn’t resist commenting.
I watched as Addie lifted her wine glass. My eyes trailed down the length of her neck when she tilted her head back and took a swallow. I hadn’t forgotten the taste of her lips underneath mine, and I was desperate to taste her skin.
My mind kept rolling back to Addie’s blurted comment about not having sex. I had no problem taking things slow. Yet, I was forced to admit I was more accustomed to being the one who set the ground rules and boundaries. Not that I thought I was all that great of a catch. I didn’t, per se. However, I was sensible enough to know that, as a billionaire in Manhattan, there were always people who wanted something from me. I went out of the way to cultivate a reputation of someone who wasn’t interested in anything beyond business-like dating relationships.
For the first time—ever—I wanted more. Much, much more. I sensed I was going to have to work for it with Addie.
Setting her wine glass down, Addie leaned back in her chair. I’d taken her to an old favorite restaurant of mine. I was the one who looked out of place in my suit here. It was a bit of a hole in the wall type of diner that served classic fare. They had a rotating selection of dinner specials that were surprising and refreshing. I hadn’t let myself contemplate this choice. It was a place I’d frequented with my late brother many times when we were younger.
Much as I wanted Addie, I wasn’t ready to contemplate what it meant that I took her to a place that held such sentimental meaning to me. My brother had probably been one of the few people in my life I’d truly loved. Kicking those thoughts to the curb, I focused on Addie.
Her curls fell in a messy tumble around her shoulders, and her dark eyes were contemplative. Unlike places with what you might call ambiance, the lighting here wasn’t meant to compliment or obscure. It was on the bright side and almost harsh. Still, Addie glowed. She leaned on her elbows, and my eyes caught on the tiny freckles dotting her cheeks. I’d noticed them the other night. They were just barely there, fairy dust scattered over her cheeks almost as an afterthought and blending into her amber skin.
She’d shrugged out of her down jacket, revealing another silky blouse. That seemed to be a preference of hers. I appreciated it, yet it was a temptation to my sanity. Tonight, she wore a deep plum silk. Every time she shifted, I was teased with hints of her cleavage and black lace.
She wrinkled her nose as she regarded me. “This was not the kind of place I expected you to take me for dinner,” she announced.
“No?” I hedged. It felt as if she had somehow dived straight into my earlier train of thought from moments ago.
“Of course not. Don’t play dumb. I’ll admit I looked you up. It was the morning after I almost broke into your basement, so I was kind of curious. Don’t worry, I didn’t get crazy and stalk you. But I know you’re a billionaire. I know you turned your family’s company around. I also know there are tons of photographs of you at important social functions with beautiful women. I would’ve expected you to take me somewhere fancy and hoity-toity.”
“Did I disappoint you?” I countered, unable to resist a grin tugging at the corners of my mouth.
“Oh no. I do love good food. This was delicious and far more down to earth than I expected. I’m just curious. You also seem to know the people who I think are the owners.”
I took a swallow of my scotch. Although this diner served classic fare, they also had a full bar in the evenings. That might seem off, but this was New York City and alcohol brought in more customers. I shifted my shoulders in a subtle attempt to ease the tension instantly bundling at the back of my neck. That tension was precisely why I tried to keep things impersonal.
Addie was different though, so I brushed through the shadows crowding my thoughts. I took a deep breath and another swallow of my scotch. “It’s an old favorite place. I do know the owners, Johnny and Angie. My brother and I used to come here a lot.”
I rarely spoke about my brother except among people who’d known him. Merely saying the word “brother” out loud elicited a painful thump of my hear
t.
Addie was quiet for a moment, her eyes searching my face. “I feel like there’s more to the story than that. Where is your brother now? Does he still live in New York City?”
“He’s buried here.”
Addie’s eyes widened, understanding crossing her face quickly. She reached across the table and curled her hand over mine, her touch light and warm. “Oh my goodness. I’m so sorry.”
Her words were so heartfelt and so earnest that the ache around my heart eased a bit. “Thank you. We were close, so, well, it wasn’t easy.”
At that moment, Angie paused by our table. Her sharp brown eyes swung from me to Addie and back. She had a tray stacked with plates resting on one forearm. I’d known Angie since I was a boy. “How are you two doing?” she asked in her rapid speech. “Need anything?”
Addie’s hand slipped off mine as she looked up. “No, but thank you.”
“We’re all set. You can bring the bill when you have a sec,” I added.
“Be back with it shortly,” Angie said, spinning away when another customer called her name.
Addie was quiet for a moment. I was relieved by that interruption. I needed something to push me through to the other side of the mention of Colin.
“What happened?” Addie asked, her tone soft.
“Ewing’s sarcoma. He was diagnosed when he was fourteen. He died when I was twenty-eight, the year before my mother died, and then my father died. My entire immediate family died within three years of each other.”
I didn’t often speak of my family, so the words came out rote and flat. Addie’s eyes widened, glistening with tears. Meanwhile, I felt as if a cold wind had gusted through my heart and soul. While I missed Colin deeply, my parents, not so much. Their marriage was exactly why I’d told myself for many years I never wanted to pursue romance. Cold and bitter didn’t even capture the state of their marriage.
“I’m so sorry,” Addie finally said. “That’s a lot of loss. How long ago was that?”
I knew precisely how long. “Five years since my brother died. I’m okay, Addie. Colin’s death was the hardest. I wasn’t close to my parents. I don’t know how much you read about me in your online search, but that’s not a secret.”
She was quiet for a long moment, her fingertip tracing circles in the moisture on her water glass. It was only when she moved to turn the glass and trace on the opposite side that I noticed she’d actually drawn a flower.
I smiled before I even realized it.
“What are you smiling about?” she asked.
Glancing into her concerned eyes, I nodded toward her water glass. “You drew a flower.”
She still didn’t smile, her gaze sweeping over mine. “I did. Just a habit. Are you okay?”
“I’m not going to pretend this is a pleasant topic, but yes, I’m fine. I’d rather not dwell on it if you don’t mind.”
She held my gaze for several beats before nodding slowly. “I certainly don’t mind. It’s just I’m really close to my family, so that would be devastating for me.”
“And yet, you moved all the way to New York City all by yourself,” I commented, genuinely curious.
Addie smiled. “I did, but I miss them. I talk to my mother every day.”
“Every day?”
She nodded unabashedly. “Yep. I came to New York City because I wanted to see the world and do something different. Geographic distance doesn’t change how much I love my family.”
“Any brothers and sisters?”
“Nope. Just me. I was actually an accident. My mother was told she couldn’t get pregnant, and then I came along. I have a massive extended family in New Orleans, hundreds of cousins probably. I should mention that while I’m close to my mother, I barely talk to my father. He was never around when I was growing up.”
That detail surprised me. “Oh?”
Addie shrugged. “An absentee father isn’t the worst thing. It just is what it is.” She paused for a moment before she added, “I’m really sorry about your brother. Maybe you weren’t close to your parents, but I’m sorry about that too.”
“Thank you.”
Angie arrived and handed me the check. “Always good to see you, Ryan. You take care now.”
Slipping my wallet out of the inner pocket of my suit jacket, I handed over several bills without even checking to see how much. I made a habit of overpaying here, usually by a hundred or more dollars. “Keep whatever change there is. It’s always a pleasure to see you, Angie.”
“You should stop by more often,” she replied.
“I will.”
With a quick smile, Angie hurried on to the next table, filling coffees and moving about the busy diner. As I stood from the table and walked out with Addie, I felt strange, almost as if Colin were here with me for a moment. He would approve of Addie. I had no doubt about that. He would not approve of the various women I kept at a distance. Given that he’d spent more than half of his life facing down a serious and eventually terminal illness, he wasn’t much for casual.
Chapter Eleven
Ryan
We stepped out into the cold February night. Addie pulled her jacket tightly around her shoulders. “It’s going to take some getting used to these winter nights.”
When she peered up at me with the streetlights glittering above in the frosty darkness, my heart gave two rapid thumps inside my chest. Without thinking, I leaned down. “It’s not so bad,” I murmured, right before I brushed my lips over hers.
I wanted Addie. So fucking much.
It felt as if electricity spun through me in a fiery jolt from where our lips met. I drew back, just slightly.
Addie looked up at me, her dark eyes flashing under the soft glow from the streetlight above us. Considering it was New York City and only maybe nine at night, the street was by no means empty. People walked along the sidewalks and passed around us, yet somehow it felt as if we were all alone in the world, enclosed in this tiny moment.
The temporary spell was broken when someone bumped into Addie as they walked briskly by. Just because I needed her touch, almost as if it were a dose, I leaned down once more and pressed a kiss to Addie’s lips. The temptation to let it unfurl into so much more hovered right there, but I pulled back when someone’s elbow hit my back.
“Come on,” I said as I straightened. “I’ll walk you home.”
As I turned, I almost curled my hand around her injured hand. I caught myself in time and immediately shifted to her other side before taking her hand.
She glanced up as we began walking. “My hand really isn’t that sore anymore.”
“Good to hear. It looks much better.”
“It’s a little itchy, but that means it’s healing. All’s well that ends well with my burglary attempt,” she said, her tone dry.
I chuckled. “All you were trying to steal was your dog. How is Barnable? Is he settling in?”
“Oh yes. He’s a good boy. I think he just slipped out of the gate because he was curious, and then he got lost. I’ve got the back courtyard locked up tight now.”
“Good to know.”
We walked in silence the rest of the way to Addie’s place. When we climbed her steps together, a sense of protectiveness washed through me. I knew that this place her great aunt had left to her was valuable. Living only a few blocks away, I was acutely aware of the property values in this area. It bothered me to consider that the attorney’s office was probably pushing her to sell, most likely to try to profit off the sale. As executors of her aunt’s estate, they might be trying to take advantage of the situation and assume Addie didn’t know much about the area. I didn’t like it. Not one bit.
We were greeted by a gruff bark from Barnable on the other side of the door as Addie fit her key in the lock. “He’s a good doorbell,” I observed.
Addie smiled up at me. The moment we stepped through the door, Addie knelt down to greet Barnable. After several pets from her and a hello from me, he trotted back down the hallway, his claws clickin
g rapidly on the hardwood floors.
I’d told myself I’d walk Addie home, say good night, and leave. Although I knew I wanted her, I wasn’t prepared for the depth of my reluctance to leave her. I did not want to go.
I could’ve tried to tell myself it was about sex. It wasn’t though. I simply enjoyed spending time with her. She was warm and funny, and so perfectly herself. I was accustomed to people in business and social events trying to create an impression for me. That was why my circle of true friends was so small.
It often felt as if every social interaction was a calculation. People like Addie were few and far between in my life. Addie made no effort whatsoever to be anything other than herself.
Addie set her purse on the small table beside the door, dropping her keys beside it before she turned to face me. The sound of her cowboy boot heels striking the floor when she took a step closer to me echoed around us. She placed her palm on my chest, and my heart lunged toward her touch.
“One more kiss,” she said, the sweet twang to her words sliding over me and spinning into the need already tightening every cell in my body.
“I’d better make it count then,” I replied as I placed my hand over hers.
With a gentle nudge from me, Addie stepped back until she stood against the door. Lacing my fingers with hers, I lifted our joined hands, pressing them against the door just above her shoulder. The sound of her breath hitching in her throat sizzled through me like a bolt of lightning.
My response to Addie was something entirely unfamiliar to me. I didn’t lack for sexual experience. However, I was accustomed to feeling in control of myself.
With her, all we’d shared was one crazy hot kiss and a few brief, almost chaste kisses tonight. And yet, I felt as if I were scrambling for purchase on the edge of a cliff, about to fall over. I already knew when I did fall, if there was a rope to catch, it would be frayed and about to snap.