The local township wasn’t big, but it still held concrete and glass and people. People who smiled friendly-like but couldn’t hide their edge whenever they looked at Jacob.
“If you’re so willing to be of service, head inside and grab some powdered mag and Epsom salts.”
“Powdered what now?”
“Magnesium.”
“For…?”
“For the horses who get crazy from grass. And before you ask, the Epsom salts are in case any of the herd brews an abscess or two.”
“Right.” Nodding with importance, I gave him a smile. “I can do that.”
“Good.” Jacob winced as if already afraid of the word I could say in response.
The word that opened old wounds and prevented scars from forming over age-old pain.
I swallowed it down, whispering it to myself instead.
Fine.
“What’s next after this?” I asked, deliberately changing the subject and allowing Jacob’s tension to unravel.
He studied me with narrowed eyes before muttering, “I suppose we could go eat before returning to Cherry River.”
“Eat, as in eat in a restaurant?”
He rolled his eyes. “Yes, in a restaurant. That a problem?”
I hid the bubbly joy working its way through my bloodstream. “No problem. I haven’t had a burger and fries in forever.”
I swallowed more words I knew he wouldn’t approve of.
I’ve never been out in public with you before.
I never thought you’d take me out.
Could this be classified as a date?
Could lunch between two people who’d known each other forever, worked together every day, and shared a kiss mean something other than just ‘getting food?’
Don’t be ridiculous, Hope.
There is nothing, and there will never be anything more between you.
“Yeah, well. A burger would be good. I’m starving.” Jacob gave me another strange look. “Go grab the mag and salt. I’ll come find you once I’ve put this in the truck.”
“Okey-dokey.”
Jacob rolled his eyes. “Why are you so chipper all the time? It’s annoying.” Not waiting for my reply, he hoisted the feed onto his shoulder and strode toward his already loaded truck while I traversed the large warehouse to the attached building where smaller, more valuable things were stored.
Cooler air wafted over me as the sliding doors welcomed then closed behind me, hushing up the sounds of old farmers and forklifts.
Shelves upon shelves of drenching, stock vitamins, wet weather clothing, and milking supplies created a maze.
Where on earth will I find mag and salt?
“Hi, you look a little lost.” A soft chuckle whipped my head to the left where a guy about my age smiled. He wore scruffy Wranglers with a red shirt depicting him as staff. His hair matched mine in colour but he had blue eyes, not green.
He was cute, and I blushed as he studied me a little too closely.
“Um, actually, I’m looking for powdered mag and Epsom salts.”
“Horsey chick, huh?”
I puffed up with pride. “Yup.”
“I used to ride when I was younger. Fell off, though, and never got back on.”
“That sucks. They do say you should get back on after a fall. Otherwise, you might never.”
The guy laughed. “Well, maybe you could convince me to give it another go sometime.”
I froze. Did he…did he just ask me out, or was this small-town flirting?
“Yeah, maybe.” I smiled brightly so I wouldn’t hurt his feelings. “So, can you, eh, show me where to go?”
He swiped a hand through his hair. “I’ll do you one better. I’ll escort you there myself.” Striding forward, he looked over his shoulder for me to follow. “Come on.”
“Okaaay.” With a hesitant look behind me, mainly to see if Jacob had finished stockpiling, I chased after the red-shirted guy.
He guided me around a few shelves before stopping in the middle of one with a sign saying equine supplements. Tapping his lower lip with his finger, he scanned the bags of different minerals and vitamins before selecting two and handing them to me. “There you go. All sorted.”
“Cool. Thanks so much.” I opened my arms to take the bags. “Right, then. I guess I’ll go pay.” I scanned the store for the checkout.
Before I could leave, the guy asked, “You new in town?”
“Um, kind of.”
“Moved here or just visiting?”
His smile was eager and eyes approving. The fact he didn’t know who I was, who my father was, and most likely had never read a tabloid or gossip magazine in his life was refreshing. I wasn’t used to being flirted with. Brian, back in Scotland, had been the only one to approach me, and I suspected only because he thought he could marry into money.
I’d never been normal enough or left un-chaperoned by my father or Keeko to be at the mercy of flirty shopkeepers.
I blushed. It was nice to be appreciated. To be noticed.
To be liked for just being me.
“Just visiting, but if I had my way, I’d move here in a heartbeat.”
“Move to a small town like this?” He shrugged. “Why?”
“Why not? It has everything you need. A cinema, small shopping mall, restaurants. And miles upon miles of open spaces. It’s heaven.”
“I guess.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “So you’ve seen the local sights then? Someone’s shown you Clover Waterfall and taken you to Sock Gully?”
“No, not yet.”
He perked up. “You should. They’re awesome. The waterfall has some great swimming holes farther downriver, and in the gully, someone has created a walkway in the treetops. You have to strap on a harness so you don’t fall, but the adrenaline rush is awesome.”
“Sounds great.”
Why had Jacob never told me about those places?
The guy held out his hand. “I’m Carter.”
Awkwardly, I shifted the two bags into one arm and reached out to shake his hand. “I’m Hope.”
He squeezed me with warm, strong fingers. “Nice to meet you, Hope.”
My cheeks heated as he held on for a little too long before letting me go.
He glanced at the ground before catching my gaze with determination mixed with worry.
I knew that concoction well. I approached Jacob that way most of the time. Brave enough to want something from him but fearful enough of the consequences.
“You’re really pretty, Hope.”
Shock and embarrassment ripped a stupid giggle from my lips. “Um, thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” He grinned, growing a little more confident. “I’d love to take you out sometime. You know…if you’re keen? I don’t have a horse, but I do have a car, so I can take you some places and show you around.”
“Wow, that’s—” I stiffened. Prickles danced down my back, and I knew, just knew we were no longer alone.
Jacob was watching me.
Jacob was listening.
And I didn’t know how that made me feel, knowing the boy I’d chased for far too long was watching another boy chase me.
Was that karma?
Or merely a recipe for disaster?
In all honesty, I wasn’t looking for more complications with dating or making new friends here. But the fact that Carter liked me after only knowing me for a few minutes made me a tiny bit vindictive.
“You know what? That sounds nice. Thank you.”
Carter’s boyish face blazed with happy disbelief. “Wow, really? You’ll go out with me?”
A fuming presence appeared at the top of the row, cowboy hat shielding his gaze, fists clenched by his sides. Other customers dispersed, leaving us in a pocket of silence.
Jacob moved slowly. So slowly it was as if he stalked me, hunted me, knew I had nowhere to run and would take his time mauling me.
Carter was oblivious as Jacob arrived beside him and tipped his chin so his midn
ight eyes locked onto mine.
There, I saw things I’d been desperate to see for months.
Possession.
Connection.
Want.
And all my silly ideals of agreeing to date a boy who could never replace the one I truly wanted evaporated.
“You finished here?” Jacob said icily, carefully putting his hands in his pockets as if to prevent him from punching Carter.
“Yeah, almost.” Trying to keep the peace, I added, “Carter, you know Jacob Wild, right?”
Carter flinched. “Eh, yeah. Hey, man. You went to school with my older brother, Yan.”
Jacob nodded stiffly.
“Carter kindly offered to show me Clover Waterfall and Sock Gully. Want to come with us?” I kept my tone light and carefree, ignoring the challenge of testosterone flying around.
Carter’s shoulders fell as he looked at me. “Oh, you want to go out in a group?”
I swallowed, keeping a careful eye on Jacob. “If that’s okay? I’m staying with Jacob’s family. They’re my hosts. It’d be rude not to invite him.”
“It would be very rude.” Jacob looked me up and down as if I’d done something unforgivable and he was seconds away from throwing Carter into the horse vitamins.
“Exactly. That’s why I’m inviting you.” I sniffed.
Jacob looked threateningly at Carter. “She has it wrong, by the way. She’s staying with me, not my family. She’s working for me. She’s my employee, and I say if she has free time to go gallivanting around town.”
“Gallivanting around?” I snickered. “There’ll be no gallivanting, Jake. It’s just spending the day outdoors.”
His eyes flashed to mine, heat mixed with annoyance. I knew his irritation was because I’d called him Jake again.
He scowled. “I don’t remember agreeing to give you days off.”
My temper pinched to respond. “I don’t remember signing some slave contract saying I couldn’t.”
Jacob stepped toward me, his heat and electricity frying my senses. “You kinda did when you agreed to work for me until I fired you.”
I matched his step with one of my own, bringing our chests to almost touching. “You’re saying you’ll fire me if I go out with Carter?”
“I’m saying try it and find out.”
“You’re so pig-headed.”
“You’re so naïve.”
“You don’t control me, Jake.”
“You’re my responsibility, Hope.” He pointed at Carter. “Waterfalls can wait. Feeding a mob of hungry horses can’t.”
“Why can’t you just admit you—”
“I won’t admit anything.” Jacob lowered his head, his brow shadowing turbulent eyes. “Why can’t you stop being so damn—”
“Um, this is nice and all.” Carter backed away, hands raised in surrender. “But I’ve got to go.” Throwing me an apologetic look, he said, “Nice meeting you, Hope. I’ll, um, be in touch. Catch you guys around.” He spun on his heel, practically bolting toward another customer for shelter.
“Ugh, now look what you did.” I planted hands on my hips. “You scared him off. He didn’t even get my number.”
“You’re lucky that’s all I did.”
“He was just being nice, Jacob.”
“No, he wasn’t, Hope.” He bit my name like last time. “His older brother is one of those assholes I told you about who promised girls the world just to get into their pants and then dumped them. He’d do the same.”
I shrugged, feeling stupidly bold. “And if I just wanted him to get into my pants?”
Jacob’s face blackened to ash. “Then I’d have to break a few of his fingers for daring to touch you.”
Moving toward him, I sucked in a breath against the sheer intensity he pulsed with. The immense power he had over my body. The undeniable attraction and connection we shared. “You don’t scare me. You wouldn’t hurt anyone without cause.”
He leaned toward me. “Oh, he’d give me cause.”
My stupid heart kicked in a flurry. He was laying claim to me. Making me believe he wanted me and there was something worth fighting for between us.
He couldn’t do that.
He couldn’t lead me on that way.
I wanted to hurt him.
I wanted this over.
My fight tangled with sad resignation. “You can’t have this both ways, you know.”
He sucked in a breath. “Excuse me?”
“You know what I mean.” I waved my hand. “You’ve told me time and time again that you don’t want me. That there will never be anything more between us than acquaintances.”
“Your point?”
My eyes widened. “My point is…you can’t stop me from finding friendship with other people if you’re not willing to provide it.”
“I’m not stopping you.”
“Yes, you are. You chased him away like a puppy.”
“He is a puppy. A puppy that hasn’t been neutered.”
“What are you doing? You shouldn’t care—”
“I don’t.” His jaw worked.
“Then why are you—”
“I’ve already told you. I’m protecting you. He comes from a family of assholes. You want to be used and hurt by him? Then, by all means, I’ll back off.” His voice lost its heat, slipping back into collected ice. “Is that what you want?”
What I want is for you to want me the way Carter does.
My shoulders slouched; my hands fell from my hips. “I don’t know what I want anymore.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“I guess it means you’re driving me insane.” Hugging the bags of horse minerals, I brushed past him and stormed down the aisle—he could figure out about paying.
He stalked me, every step I made he chased me with an identical one until we left the store and I made the mistake of spinning to face him by his truck.
Sunshine beamed down on us, cloaking him in golden softness. His hat shadowed his face, making his eyes black and cheekbones so sharp my fingers tingled to trace them.
The second I caught his gaze, he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. For a moment, my entire body throbbed to hug him. I wanted to crush him close and tell him it was okay to like me…even just a little bit. It wasn’t a death sentence.
But I knew better than to try.
Rolling his shoulders, he forced himself to speak. “Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that.”
I froze. An apology was the last thing I expected.
“I just…I don’t want you getting hurt. If you want to go out with someone while you’re here, I’ll, um, I’ll think about which guys I went to school with and let you know who isn’t a womanizing bastard.”
I couldn’t stop my shocked laugh. “Wait, you’re saying you’ll play matchmaker now?”
“I’m saying I’d rather protect you than let you get hurt.”
Goosebumps sprang over my arms despite the sunny heat. How could this hurt so much? Why did the thought of Jacob willingly setting me up on a date crush me right beneath his muddy boot?
He was trying to be nice.
To be civil…just like he promised.
Rubbing my arms, I looked at the ground. “It’s okay, Jacob. I don’t want to date anyone.”
“But you just agreed to go out with—”
“Only because the waterfall and gully sounded cool. Not because of him in particular.” I forced myself to smile as if he hadn’t just ripped out my heart for the billionth time. “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”
“If you need a friend, Hope, then the least I can do is help you find one.”
There he went again, creating hurt on top of hurt. “Your mom is my friend. Cassie. Nina. I have enough. Truly.”
He squeezed the back of his neck. “Then why do I feel so fucking guilty for what I just did?”
I shrugged. “Nothing to feel guilty about.”
His gaze fell to my locket. The locket he’d bought me. Th
e locket that’d touched my skin every day for years because I couldn’t stop thinking about him. “I know…I know I’m not easy. I didn’t mean to—”
“Stop.” My voice threaded with temper. “It’s fine. Let’s just go home. I’m suddenly not hungry after all.”
I reached for the passenger door, but Jacob just stood there. Tall and unmovable, strict and unlovable. “That goddamn kiss ruined everything.”
My fingers clamped on the door handle. “What?”
“Things were okay before. There wasn’t this…mess between us.”
My hand slowly fell away, curling into a fist. “This mess?”
“Yeah. This. Whatever this is.”
“And whose fault is that?”
He looked at the sky, a morbid chuckle on his lips. “Yours. Most definitely yours.”
“How do you figure?”
“You’re the one who invited yourself to my farm. You’re the one who pushed me. You’re the one who kissed me.”
My jaw fell open. “I think you’ll find you kissed me.”
“A momentary lapse of concentration.” He prowled toward me, hands shoved deep into his pockets. “Something I wish I could take back.”
I struggled to keep eye contact as tears welled and sadness crept up my spine. “Oh, don’t worry. You’re not the only one. I wish I could take it back too. I wish I could go back in time and never have met you.”
His eyes hardened to glittering gemstones. “That would definitely make life a lot simpler.”
“And simple is acceptable to you, isn’t it? Nothing complicated. Nothing messy. No relationship of any kind.”
“Exactly.” He nodded sharply.
“Well, too bad. I’ve ruined your simple.”
“Yeah, you did. But I’m dealing with it.”
“Ha! You’re not dealing with it at all!” Running hands through my hair, I laughed coldly. “You know what? You want space? Fine, I’ll give you space. I’m done pining over you. I’m done being so stupidly hopeful that one day you’ll wake up and realise that friendship isn’t something to despise. I’ve liked you for years. Years! What a waste. Though, the way you just acted with Carter makes me think a part of you does like me. That a tiny piece of your heart is open to the idea of getting close to someone, but that’s a lie, isn’t it? And I keep falling for it every damn time. But you can’t have it both ways, Jacob. You can’t say you want to protect me when you don’t even care about me. You can’t act as if I’m yours when you’ve made it abundantly clear I will never be. So just stop, okay? I’ve gotten the message. Finally. I’ll leave you to your simple. But just because you’re not happy doesn’t mean I don’t want to be. So stop scaring away those who try when you’re too afraid to do the same.”
The Son & His Hope Page 29