by Jolene Perry
Jen kicks her foot and she settles back into her chair.
There’s something I don’t know. Something everyone here but me knows. Something about Sky.
She must sense my tension. “We’ll talk later,” she whispers in my ear, but I’m only mildly appeased.
My phone buzzes in my pocket making me jump. I hate being jumpy. Mom. Crap. I forgot to text her.
“Just a sec.” No one needs to overhear this conversation. I answer my phone, but don’t say anything until I’m on the other side of the van. “Sorry I forgot to call.”
“Where are you? I saw your car down the street, but they said that Sky was out hiking, and I knew you’d tell me if you went that far and—”
“It was all last minute, Mom. Sorry. We’re up at Red Rock and I’m with a group from UNLV.”
“Well, it’s a school night, and I need you home.” Mom’s not usually this strict with me. I get good grades, and she leaves me alone.
“It’s not really up to me. I’m one of eight people up here.” There’s no way I’m asking them to cut their night short for me. No way.
Her sigh is dramatic, even on my end of the phone line. “Fine. But I’m not happy about this. We’re going to talk when you get home.”
“Okay.” There’s really no point in arguing. I didn’t ask, and I didn’t tell her where I went. But it still sucks.
When I walk around the side of the van, the beat hits me. Drums? No one’s talking, or chanting, or singing, but everyone’s part of a rhythm. I stop and soak it in for a moment before stepping into the light of the fire. Sky smiles at me, but easily keeps the most complicated rhythm. They’re all doing something different, keeping the same beat, but it sounds like music, and not just drumming. Their hands separately, are all working together.
Sky speaks just long enough for me to hear. “Drum circle, even though we know different rhythms, and different songs, some parts of drumming are universal.”
I nod and sit next to her. Rob is keeping a simple low beat on the cooler in front of him. Tony’s using his chair. Windy and Jen both have actual small drums, one is playing a quick succession of beats. Sky is using a combination of slapping the skin on her calves and the bottom of her metal chair, creating a high-pitched melody.
Tony slips and they all stop, laughing.
“Geez Tony!” Windy pushes him. “You’ve got the easiest one!”
“Rob does!” he protests.
The two younger guys who are still nameless to me sit quietly.
“That was amazing,” I say.
“One of these days we’ll need to bring some real drums out here and get closer to the rock face.” Rob smiles. “We ready to head back?”
Without a word, chairs are folded up, and Rob pours the contents of the cooler over the fire.
As sad as I am for the night to be over, Mom’s waiting to talk. The longer she has to wait, the more she’ll have to say.
“Thank you for coming.” Sky kisses my cheek.
“Thanks for asking.” I kiss hers.
“You’re in trouble?” Sky guesses, frowning in apology.
“Totally worth it.” I rest my arm over her shoulders as we head back to the van.
- - -
“We need to talk.” Mom’s voice is all business.
This is how I’m greeted the second I step through the door. I hold in my sigh and kick off my shoes.
“Come, sit.” Mom’s on the couch, she pauses the TV and turns to look at me. This is not a normal face for her. Her jaw looks tight, her lips are pursed, and her forehead is furrowed. Not a good combination.
“Sorry, Mom. It was all last minute. It was so amazing though. They all—”
“Jameson.” Her eyes widen.
I stop talking.
“This is not a joke. I came home and had no idea where you were!”
“You called, Mom, and then you did know.” I’m baffled. It’s not even ten o-clock.
“I need to know where you are! It’s completely unfair to me for you to be running wild without so much as a note or a text!” She’s leaning toward me, and I’m so shocked, this is so out of the ordinary, that I’m not sure how to respond.
“I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.” What else am I supposed to say in this situation?
“No. It won’t.” She stands up and walks into her room.
And now that I’m alone, and kind of in shock over my mom, I realize I never asked Sky about her brother. Or the meeting.
FOURTEEN
I don’t want to talk to my dad, but I do. I wonder if there’s a way for us to talk without me getting angry again. I’m not sure. As I flop on the couch I scroll down to his number and get voicemail.
“Dad, it’s Jameson. Call when you get a chance.” It seems like I should have something more to say, but I don’t. He might not want to hear from me. The thought adds more weight to my chest. I sit for a moment, silent, before hanging up.
“Couldn’t get through?” Mom asks. I didn’t hear her walk in.
“Nope.” I wonder if her anger from yesterday still holds.
“Sorry.” She walks into the kitchen with bags of groceries. “Wanna talk?”
Guess her anger didn’t hold. I’m certainly not going to bring it up. “I didn’t need anything in particular from him. We just haven’t said anything to one another since I put my fist through the wall.” I stand up to help her put groceries away. It’s just the two of us, and I should probably be better about helping anyway.
“How are you and Sky?” Mom tries really hard not to sound too interested. I’m waiting for another comment about last night, but it doesn’t come.
“Good. No, more than good.” Just talking about her spreads a warmth through my chest.
“And how’s Sarah?”
“We’re uh… I don’t know what we are anymore. Sky has this honesty thing, and it makes me realize Sarah and I never did. Anyway, we’re all going out on Friday.” I take a deep breath at just the thought of it.
“You and the two girls?” Mom stops now. Staring.
I do my best to ignore her, and reach for the groceries sitting on the floor. “No.” I grab the potato chips and set them on the fridge. “Sarah and her boyfriend. Sky and me.”
“Will that be awkward?” Mom’s now leaning against the counter, groceries forgotten.
I pick up the eight boxes Mom got of my small peanut butter packages, and bury myself in the pantry. “Probably, but it feels like I lost the girl I loved and my friend all at once. Sky knows the whole situation, so…”
“Just because she knows the situation, doesn’t mean that she’s okay with it.” I know without looking that Mom’s gaze is aimed straight at the back of my head.
“I know. I think… I hope Sky and I are past that. I’m relying on her telling me stuff.” I sigh and turn to face Mom.
“Do you think she will?”
“She has so far.” I think about the story she shared with me the other day and she’s right, that’s the kind of closeness I want right now. The rest will come with that—all the physical stuff I can’t stop thinking about.
“Okay. But make sure you put the girl you go with, first. No matter what.”
“That’s easy.” I’d never do anything to hurt Sky.
“Good.”
But now I’m nervous about the stupid night all over again. It shouldn’t be a big deal, right?
“Oh, I’ll be working all night on Friday. They need someone else there.” Mom starts to her room.
“Aren’t you tired, Mom?” She’s worked every day this week and generally doesn’t come home until seven or so.
“We can’t keep up this house without your dad’s income, and I have all weekend to sleep.” Her voice is snappy as she disappears into her room.
I clench my jaw and do my best to hide it. “Okay.” Once again, I want to scream at my dad. If he calls me back tonight, we’re going to have words.
- - -
It feels weird to be doing s
omething so normal with Sky. I wonder if she’ll like it, or if it’ll feel weird to her, too. Too bad Dad’s not around and we can’t take the Porsche. But we still haven’t spoken, and calling to borrow the car seems like something that shouldn’t be done until we’re talking like normal people again.
“So, are they meeting us here?” Sky asks. Her skirt is short, as always. Her legs look amazing, as always and right now I’m wishing we didn’t have to double.
“That’s the plan.” I lean back against my car in my driveway. Sky leans next to me.
“You nervous about this?” Her hip bumps mine.
“I don’t know. It’s weird, but it’s not weird. I’d rather keep you to myself. The fact that it’s Sarah makes it more weird but less weird, which makes no sense. I have no idea how to explain it better. It feels more and more like she wasn’t the person I thought she was, and it makes a lot of things easier. But she’s still my friend, sort of, and I think Eric’s a bit of a jerk.”
“So, expectations for our evening are low.” She chuckles.
“Very.” I smile and scoot so our arms touch. “I bet you’re more excited than ever for this little experiment.” My face is close enough to hers that she’s all I can see and smell.
“I’m honestly curious about the girl you’ve been in love with for the past couple years.” Her cheekbones are even higher when she smiles, and I love how she looks up at me—like this is exactly where she wants to be.
I shake my head. “I thought I was in love with her. I think I was in love with the idea of her. Or of who I thought she was, or maybe she just feels different because of what you and I have.” I lean over and kiss her soft hair. “You know you smell amazing, right?”
“They’re here.” She laughs and stands up.
Eric jumps out of his dad’s Mercedes SUV. “Thought we’d just take this. We can all ride together.” His voice is short, tense. Probably Sarah begged him to do this.
Eric and I aren’t friends, but we’re not enemies. At least we weren’t until maybe Sarah.
“What do you think?” I lean toward Sky and whisper.
“I think we can take a cab home if we’re desperate.” She takes my hand.
“Good point.” I laugh. This is going to be okay. If someone told me two months ago that I’d be on a double date with Sarah, that she’d be there with another guy, and I’d be okay with it? I’d never have believed them.
“At least we’ll get to share the backseat,” she whispers.
Wow, that one hits me in the chest, and the gut, and maybe other places in a really good way.
“There is that.” I open the backdoor to let her in.
When I climb in on my side, Eric and Sarah are silent.
“Hey, guys,” I say.
“I’m glad you two made it.” Sarah turns around to face us. “Nice to see you again, Sky.”
“You, too.”
“So, Sky?” Eric pulls out of my driveway. “Where did that name come from?”
“My Mom.” She laughs.
Eric doesn’t look impressed.
“My mom’s Native Alaskan, Tlingit.” And really, that should be explanation enough.
“But still, don’t you get harassed about that?” He glances in the rearview mirror.
“I went to school in a Tlingit village, so no, I didn’t get harassed about that. Well, maybe a little. Most names are more traditional or they’re Russian names.” Her face is still relaxed. I’m already irritated.
I reach my hand over and slide my fingers down her leg. Hopefully she’ll see it as an apology because now that my hand is here, I realize that with her bare legs, it’s kind of me coming on to her and I don’t mean to. I mean, I do, but… Crap. I’m obviously going to screw things up here eventually.
“So, In N Out Burger and a movie, right?” Eric asks.
“Yeah,” Sarah and I say at the same time.
I know she’s dying to say jinx, because she always is. But she keeps it to herself. That makes me a little sad.
- - -
“Sky is hot.” Eric leans toward me as the girls walk to the bathroom.
I start to say something about Sarah, but realize that probably isn’t safe.
“Hmm.” I take a drink.
“And she’s in college, right?” He stuffs another handful of fries into this mouth. I don’t think he could fit the jock stereotype better if he tried.
“Yeah, a freshman this year.” The less I say, the less likely I am to tell him what a jerkoff he is and how much he doesn’t deserve Sarah.
“Way to go for the older girl, man.” Eric laughs and nods.
I take another long drink of my soda so I don’t have to talk to the guy. What does Sarah see in him? Our dinner was me watching Eric as he half-clutched Sarah, and still checked out every girl who walked in. Sarah just seems smarter than this. Sky catches my eye immediately when the girls come out of the bathroom. And then I stare at her like an idiot as she walks toward me.
“Ready for a movie?” Sky stops so close that her bare thighs are against my arm. Snugly against my arm. Like she’s resting here on purpose.
So, this is like an invitation to touch her, right? I let my arm fall down and stroke the inside of her calf with my fingers. “Yep.” Our eyes catch and it stops my breath for a moment. Something’s different between us, something in her eyes maybe, and I’m not sure what it is. I do know that I really want to be alone with her so I can find out.
- - -
I step into our row first. I don’t want to be put in the position of sitting next to either Sarah, or Eric. So I’m first, then Sky. As I sit down, it seems sort of rude to use her as a buffer. Maybe we’ll switch later. Sarah practically elbows her way in so she and Sky can sit next to one another. After Eric’s comment about Sky, I’m glad Sarah’s between them. I’d probably freak out on the guy if he sat between the two girls, which one would he look at with two choices so close?
I don’t know what the movie is about. There’s a girl who hates the guy, but even I know they get together in the end. If I know what’s going to happen, it seems ridiculous to pay attention. That’s good, because I can’t pay attention.
My hand’s resting on Sky’s thigh and I know we had this great moment where I realized that us being together is learning about one another, but her bare skin is electric, and I can’t get enough. My fingers touch her lightly and her head is resting on my shoulder, completely relaxed. If we weren’t in a movie theater, I don’t think I could keep myself from reaching up higher. But we are and we’re in company, which is probably a good thing.
Sarah gets up twice to go to the bathroom. When she stands up a third time, Sky moves, too.
When she looks down at me, her forehead is pulled together. “Be right back.”
I watch her closely as she carefully sidesteps Eric, and as Eric watches her slim legs pass in front of him. I have to remind myself that attacking the guy for looking at Sky in a movie theater probably isn’t the best idea. Fortunately, she’s fast and disappears into the dark.
Now it’s Eric and I, two seats between us, and I’m glad for the distance. I’m also glad we’re watching a movie so I don’t have to try to keep up a conversation with him.
Sky sits back down next to me just as the credits start to roll.
“Everything okay?” I whisper.
“I think Sarah was trying to dodge roaming hands.” She’s on the edge of her seat, facing me.
I sigh and stare at the floor. This is so not what I want to hear. “I don’t want to hear or know this.”
Sarah and Eric stand up. She smiles up at him in her own adoring way, and I’m not sure if Sky’s right or not.
“Look, Jay, as much as I’m totally threatened by Sarah, you have to talk to her about him.” She stands up and turns toward me.
“Yeah, I guess.” I hate that she’s threatened by Sarah, but there’s really no arguing with her reasoning. I stand up to face her. The lights are up as much as movie theater lights ever
are, and it’s nice to actually see her face again.
“No.” She pushes against my chest. “No guess. It’s not just that. Did you see the way he checked out every girl?”
“He’s always been that way, everybody knows it. She wanted him.” I shrug. That’s how it is, right? Everyone knows Eric. Everyone knows his reputation. She wanted it. She wanted him, not me, and now she has him. At this point I feel more resigned than pained. I can’t even think about how I’d feel if I didn’t have Sky.
“Just, please?” There’s no way I can say no to her, even though I really want to.
“I will, but I don’t think she’ll listen.” I take her hand.
“She might not, and that’s okay. You wouldn’t be a good friend if you didn’t at least try.” Sky leads me out of the row and toward the door.
“Fine. I’ll try,” I say. Sky’s so good.
“You wimps calling it a night?” Eric asks as we hit the lobby.
“Yes.” We say in unison. And then I try to hold in a laugh.
FIFTEEN
Sarah talks about the movie the whole ride back to my house. My hand is higher on the inside of Sky’s thigh than it’s ever been, and I don’t hear a word. Sarah seems more like a memory now than anything else.
When we stop I can’t believe how short the drive was. “Thanks.” I smile at Sarah and then at Eric. I barely make it to Sky’s side before she opens the door. She’s thanking them for the night.
“Whew.” I breathe out as the car pulls down the road.
“Can we swim?” Sky rests her chin on my shoulder.
“Did you bring a suit?” Please say no, please say no…
“Yeah.”
Crap. “Great.”
She laughs. “If it’s so great, why don’t you look like it’s great?”
“I…”
“Probably prefer the black panties, I get it.” She slides her bag further onto her shoulder. “I still can’t believe I did that. It’s that you bring out this brave girl in me.”
“I’m glad you did. It was kind of a high moment for me,” I admit.
“Well, the night is still young, for a night-owl like you.” She turns from me.