“Like what?”
“Like she didn’t mean anything to you. You darn near broke her heart.”
Tommy didn’t return her look but stared at the floor. What was wrong with him? Surely he couldn’t have given up on Sadie just because she may be crippled. Her brother was not that shallow. Was he?
“Tommy, talk to me. What’s going on? Last week you would have done anything for Sadie, now it’s like you can’t bear to look at her.”
“I do care.”
The words were so quietly spoken she almost missed them.
“What?” she asked.
“I do care. I love her just as much, if not more. But I don’t want to hurt her or frighten her.”
“Well, you’ve just done both. Didn’t you see how much she needs you to put your arms around her and tell her she’ll be fine?
“But what if she isn’t Lizzie? What if they have to cut her feet off? She can’t become a rancher’s wife then, can she?”
Lizzie stared at him, hard.
“Are you trying to tell me if they have to amputate, you’ll walk away from Sadie?” She willed him to say no. She couldn’t bear to think her brother would do that to the woman he purported to love.
“I don’t know.”
She heard the pain in his voice even as he said the words. She couldn’t believe he was saying them but her anger fizzled away at the look of total loss in his eyes.
“I love her Lizzie. More than anything. I would give up everything for her. But what if I ended up hating her for it? I hate our lives. All we do is work, sleep and work again. And for what? To eeek out a miserable existence in an overcrowded area. Our children, if we had any, would grow up just like we did. Starving and neglected.”
“Stop it Tommy. It wouldn’t be like that.”
“How do you know?”
“Cause I know you. You are not our da. You wouldn’t spend every penny out drinking when your family needed food. You’d treat your wife like a princess and not a punch bag. Tommy, you have to be brave. That girl over there loves you and you love her. You have to be strong enough for both of you. She risked everything to save our lives. Can’t you at least be by her side when she finds out what the news is about her legs?”
“I can’t bear to see her in pain, Lizzie. I want to take the pain away. Why couldn’t it have been me and my legs?” he asked.
“If it had been you, do you think Sadie would be out here crying on my shoulder? She would have stuck to your bedside like glue. Nothing and nobody would have been able to keep her away. She loves you Tommy Carpenter. If you love her just half as much prove it. To me, to her and, most of all, to yourself.”
Lizzie marched off, she couldn’t look at him anymore. While her heart understood he was scared and frightened, her friend needed him to be the man he usually was. She couldn’t force him to be that man. He had to make that decision for himself.
“You look very angry. Did something happen to upset you?” the blonde-haired woman she had seen looking after Sadie asked.
“Men! That’s all,” Lizzie replied gruffly.
“Oh well, they can’t help it sometimes. They don’t always engage their brain.”
“You’re Lily aren’t you? You were looking after my friend Sadie. My name is Lizzie. Is there something I could do to help? I’m not good at sitting around doing nothing.”
“That’s okay. There’s loads to be done. Follow me. Mrs. Murphy, the cook here, is always saying she doesn’t have enough hands.”
Lizzie followed Lily toward the kitchen. Lily kept her amused with stories about the hotel as well as warning her to keep out of the way of the manger, Mr. Floyd. Lizzie found herself half wishing she’d meet Mr. Floyd and he would do something to annoy her, as she wanted to take her temper out on someone. It was building inside her and with very little temptation it would overflow at any second.
Chapter 30
Tommy reeled from the tongue-lashing his sister had given him, but he knew she was right. He was a coward. He’d told himself and Lizzie that he was afraid for Sadie but the reality was, he was scared for himself. Could he cope with an invalid? He hadn’t even given Sadie or Doc Erin a chance. Hadn’t Sadie always dealt with everything life had thrown at her in the same way? She always fought back, quietly, but she never gave up. Lizzie was right, if it had been him lying in the bed facing amputation, Sadie wouldn’t have left his side.
He had to fix this somehow, but how? He didn’t know what to do. He wished Jamie were here. Where was he anyway? Had he made it home safely? Tommy paced up and down along the corridor. He couldn’t stay out here all day. He would have to speak to Sadie.
He walked back to her bed but this time she was fast asleep. Doc Erin happened to see him and came over.
“I gave her something to help her sleep. We want to keep her as still as possible while keeping her warm. Rest is the best cure for her now.”
Tommy nodded. He didn’t reply. What could he say? He took one last look at Sadie before walking away. He headed toward the hotel lobby looking for Aaron. He found him talking to Mick Quinn.
“Is there something I could do to help? I can’t sit around doing nothing and your wife won’t let me leave the hotel.”
“Best do what my wife says,” Mick said. “I have found it’s usually the best thing. Aaron tells me you want to move out West? Have you anywhere in mind?”
“Not really,” Tommy replied, hoping he didn’t sound rude. But the last thing he wanted to talk about were his plans for traveling. He couldn’t plan anything now, not until he knew what Sadie was facing.
“How is your sister’s friend?” Aaron asked, his expression watchful.
“Not good. Doc thinks she may lose her feet.” Tommy knew he sounded emotionless, but it was the only way he knew how to cope. “So, do you have something for me to do?”
He saw a flash of understanding in Aaron’s eyes. “You any good at chopping wood? We have to keep the heat going and a place this size seems to eat wood.”
Tommy smiled for the first time. Chopping wood was exactly what he needed. It would take all his energy and he would have to focus too if he didn’t want to slice off his own toes.
“Can you tell me where I need to go?”
“I’ll show you. Mick, tell Alicia where I am if she comes looking for me, please.’
Mick nodded and the two men left.
Tommy chopped a mountain or two of wood until there was no more to be chopped.
“Come on lad, you need to stop and eat something or I’ll have the doc after me.”
Tommy followed the cook into the kitchen where he gratefully ate a large bowl of stew.
“That was delicious, thank you.”
“Go away with you lad, with your hunger you could have eaten a dog and enjoyed it just as much.”
Tommy didn’t think so, but he wanted to stay on the right side of the cook. He took his leave and went to find Doc Erin to see what the news on Sadie was.
Chapter 31
Tommy watched Doc Erin at work. He knew she was doing her best but still wondered if Sadie wouldn’t be better off at the hospital. He'd carry her there himself if he thought it would do any good. Why hadn’t she told him her shoes were full of holes? Then again, even if she had, what could he have done about it? He paced back and forth wondering just how long it would take the doctor to decide on whether they amputated or not. Why wasn’t the doctor making her walk around? Or massaging her feet, that’s what they always did. What would Sadie do without a foot? Never mind both of them.
“Tommy, stop it. You’re scaring Sadie,” Lizzie scolded.
“I ain’t said nothin’ to Sadie.” His belligerent tone didn’t get the usual reaction from his sister. Instead, she put an arm on his and whispered,
“She isn’t blind. She can see your face. We have to help her through this. We got to trust the doctor.”
“But she’s a woman…”
“Tommy Carpenter, of all the things you could have said, that
was the last one I'd expect. Yes, she’s a woman, she is also very good. She is the lady Carmel Doherty used to work for.”
“The one who murdered…”
His sister slapped his arm, her tone laced with impatience. “No, Tommy, she wasn’t guilty of that. She was set up.” Lizzie took a deep breath. “I know you’re upset because of Sadie, but at least you know she’s safe.”
Her voice trailed off making him feel worse. He’d forgotten about her feelings for Jamie.
“Sis, Jamie will be fine. You know he has brains to burn. He’ll find a way to shelter from the storm. He’s probably back at home now, his feet up in front of the fire.”
“Do you think so? Really?”
“Well, he left hours before we did. So chin up, love.”
Lizzie gave him a smile then they both turned to look at Erin.
He watched the doctor closely as she approached Sadie. It was impossible to see what she was thinking.
“Why don’t we try the left leg this time?” Erin said, her voice sounding as if she was forcing herself to be cheerful. Sadie said a quick prayer she would feel something.
Erin put a needle into the smaller toes and Sadie nearly cried out in joy at the pain.
“Come on, Doc, hurry up. Go ahead and prick the large toe, I won’t scream I promise.”
Erin looked up, and it was only then that Sadie realized the pin was still in her big toe.
“I can’t feel anything,” she whimpered.
“But you can feel your little toes, which is an improvement from yesterday. I want you to keep your foot on the warm stones we’re giving you. Now let me see the other leg, please.” Erin repeated the procedure on the second leg and, thankfully, Sadie could feel the pin in all five toes.
“Sadie, this leg is doing great. You won’t lose it.”
“Thanks, Doc. I was always good at hopping when I was a young’un. Maybe that skill will help me use the crutch.”
Sadie was trying to be positive, but Tommy could see how much it cost her. Tommy glanced at his sister, glad to see she looked concerned but also focused.
“Sadie O’Riordan, that’s enough of that. We didn’t walk all the way here for you to start hopping anywhere. You do what the Doc tells you,” Lizzie said fiercely, but Tommy saw the glitter of tears in her eyes.
“Sadie, your friend is right. I won’t listen to such talk. We are going to get you to the hospital as soon as the roads are cleared. I want you to do everything I have told you. Keep both your feet warm and I do not want you walking.”
“Why shouldn’t she walk? I thought that was what you did when you had frostbite? And shouldn’t we be massaging her feet?” Tommy said, concern making his voice tetchy.
“Tommy, don’t tell the doctor how to do her job.” Lizzie gave him a dirty look. “Sorry, Doc Erin, my brother is rather distraught.”
“Don’t worry, Lizzie. It shows he cares. Tommy, what you are suggesting used to be the way to treat frostbite, but now they have discovered that you can do more damage by walking on an injured leg. Also, you can cause a surge in blood flow which could kill the patient. The best cure is to warm up the limbs very gently and for the patient to rest.”
Tommy fell silent, knowing he was an idiot for even questioning the doctor. She was not only professionally trained but she seemed to genuinely care about Sadie.
He watched as Erin turned her focus back to Sadie.
“If you need help, call one of the volunteers, and they’ll be delighted to offer you an arm,” Erin said.
“Couldn’t get some more men in here, Doctor, could you? It would be a good way to get a man on her arm.”
“Lizzie Carpenter!”
Tommy grinned as Erin pretended to be shocked, but he saw the wink she gave his sister. “One thing I miss about New Yorkers Lizzie, they never lose their sense of humor in a crisis.”
“Sadie, you heard the doctor. You need to concentrate on getting better and to do that you need to rest. I’ll be back shortly. I just want a word with Doc Erin,” Tommy said, moving away.
“You best apologize for being rude to her, Tommy Carpenter. That’s not the man I thought I knew.”
Chastised, he raised his eyes and met hers. They sparkled with determination. The Sadie he knew and loved was fighting back.
Chapter 32
Tommy watched Erin as she moved between the patients. He guessed she was hoping that some more would be able to go home. The hospitals must be overflowing. Those needing most urgent care would be prioritized. Which was the way it should be, so long as those further down the queue had proper treatment to ensure their injuries didn’t worsen while they were waiting. He was thankful Sadie had ended up here where Doc Erin had time to care for her. If she had gone straight to a hospital where doctors were under pressure to cut the numbers waiting for treatment, she may have already lost her legs.
Tommy sensed Doc Erin knew he wanted to speak to her but she didn’t stop what she was doing. He wondered if he should interrupt her when she turned to him, “Are you feeling all right, Mr. Carpenter?”
“I’m fine, thank you. I wanted to ask you about Sadie. I mean Miss O’Riordan.”
“Is she your girl?”
Tommy blushed but held her gaze. “I’d like her to be but we don’t have an understanding if that’s what you’re asking.”
“I can’t discuss her case with you, Tommy. I can only talk about her to her family.”
“Her family don’t care,” he said, trying to stuff down his fury. “Her own brother abandoned her. Please, Doc, if there is something I could do to help her, tell me.”
Erin looked at him quietly. He wondered if he had gone too far.
“Sorry for shouting, Doc, I just…well, I can’t stand how Sadie is treated,” Tommy said.
“I noticed some old injuries when I examined her. Are you saying she got those at the hands of her own family?”
Tommy looked down at his balled fists. Could he betray Sadie’s confidence? She hadn’t actually told him anything, but he had found her in the stock room once, crying. She’d been badly bruised but made him swear not to say anything. He’d struggled that day, not to take Stan O’Riordan outside and knock ten bells out of him. If he caught hold of him now, he wouldn’t be able to restrain himself.
“Mr. Carpenter?”
“Yes. Her ma is an invalid and her pa and brothers, well, they like their liquor.”
Erin stayed silent for a few minutes. “I believe there is only a slight chance Sadie will not lose her big toe. She needs careful nursing to make sure gangrene doesn’t set in. In some hospitals, they would have already amputated.”
“But you think it’s too early for that?” he asked.
“Yes, I do but I only hope I am right. But given Sadie’s age, I think it’s important we do all we can to prevent an operation. If her family were here, they could force my hand by taking her to the local hospital.”
“Well, they ain’t here and as far as I’m concerned, Sadie is my family now. You look after her, Doc.”
Erin smiled at him gently. “Can I make a suggestion, Mr. Carpenter?”
“Sure…” he said, although he wasn’t at all sure he wanted to hear it.
“Sadie’s head and heart haven’t been affected by the blizzard. Perhaps you might want to tell her of your plans for the two of you.”
Erin moved away, leaving Tommy staring after her. She was right. He should speak to Sadie. But now? In the middle of the hotel with everyone else looking on? He didn’t think he’d have the nerve. He wished Jamie were there to talk to. He’d know what to do, what to say. He had a way with words. But Jamie was probably tucked up in his own bed at home. Tommy sighed. There was nothing for it but to speak to Sadie and hope she understood what he was trying to say.
Chapter 33
Jamie pushed the door of their shelter open a bit wider. The snow had stopped and, more importantly, the skies looked clearer than they had in the last few days. “Mitch, I think we should try to make it h
ome.”
“Now? But what if we get lost again?”
“We won’t. The snow has stopped. We can see where we’re going now. We need to find a café or something. I’m so hungry I could eat a cow whole.”
Mitch couldn’t laugh. Jamie guessed his friend didn’t have the energy.
“Come on, lad, we got to try. My ma is going to be going out of her mind with worry. Yours too,” Jamie said firmly.
Mitch dragged himself to his feet. Jamie hoped he was doing the right thing, but if they stayed where they were, how long would it be before someone found them?
They walked slowly, taking their time to try to conserve their strength. Neither spoke, it was a waste of energy. “Come on, Mitch, there’s a café,” Jamie said, feeling relieved.
They walked faster, arriving at the café door breathless. The owner turned up his nose at the sight of them. Jamie figured they must stink to high heaven. They looked like scarecrows.
“Sorry, mister, the blizzard caught us out. We ain’t been near food since Monday.”
“You been out in that since last Monday?” The owner’s expression softened. “It’s a wonder you’re still alive. Come in and sit down. Mairead get some hot tea for these fellas.”
“Sir, we need to get the police. Our friend…” Mitch’s voice caught.
“Our friend didn’t survive. We had to leave him behind,” Jamie said quietly.
“You poor devils. You need to get yourselves up to the hospital. Get checked out. You could get pneumonia or worse,” the café owner’s wife said.
“Thank you, missus. But a cup of tea and some food would be great. Then we want to try reaching home. Our ma’s will be frantic.”
The woman put a large plate in front of each of them, but as soon as Jamie smelled the food, he had to excuse himself quickly. He returned after emptying his stomach.
“Take it easy, son, slow bites now. Maybe just a cup of warm tea at first.”
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