by Dela
“You think I only wanted sex last night?”
He shrugged.
“How could you be so low as to think that’s the type of person I am?”
“That’s my point. I know that you’re not like that. It was me. It was all my fault. I started it.”
“Phsh . . .” I started, picking up a good pace around my room. “I need to think. I need to get dressed.”
“Okay. I already checked us out. I’ll wait for you at the truck.”
I wanted to take my time and make him wait, but I didn’t have the patience. Brushing my hair, my teeth, makeup—it was all done haphazardly. A long blur that only happened to be ten minutes.
“That was quick,” Kendal said as I hopped in.
I didn’t answer.
“Can we talk about this before we get on the road? I won’t go home with us like this.”
“Over breakfast then,” I mumbled.
“No. Not anywhere public.” He looked around briefly. I hadn’t noticed the change in scenery. Ancient trees towered over us, all changing colors from the fall air. It reminded me of a small town back in Maine. Kendal was thinking, tapping the steering wheel. “Outside.”
“Outside? Okay.” I started to open my door when he reached for my arm. “No, somewhere more private. I’ll find somewhere to go to breakfast.”
“Fine.”
So we found a quaint breakfast restaurant on Main Street and ate outside on some little café tables as a cool breeze drew in. We devoured plates with eggs and bacon and French toast while later, as we waited for the bill, Tarzan-Kendal scrolled through his phone for outdoor places around here. I couldn’t help but notice just how much his muscles had grown over the last seven years, at how the shadow on his face made him look even more dreamy.
“Found it!” he chimed.
“Where?”
“Lithia Park. There are some trails that run along a creek. Looks pretty cool. It says it’s just south of here.” He looked up and pointed. He noticed our destination while I noticed the leanness in him when his muscle bulged as he pointed. “That’s it right there.”
I checked my phone. Eight-thirty. Colby was probably already at work. “Alright, I’ll text Colby we’re leaving here in what?”
“No idea. Depends how long we need to talk.”
“I’ll just tell him eleven. Seems reasonable.”
Kendal shrugged, indifferent. “Sure.”
We crossed the street and entered the forested-acre park, spotting a duck pond and grassy knolls on the left of us. As we walked farther in we passed a rose garden and a park, then farther in, where the trees grew denser and dark underneath, we spotted what I guessed to be one of many trail entrances. My sneakers were soft against the laid out sawdust that snaked the center of the trail.
We were quiet, our thoughts our own, when the sound of the creek surfaced. We followed it, flanked by the brightly rusted leaves of the Syracuse trees and bushes I’d never seen before, until we approached a small bridge that crossed over the water.
We crossed over the arched bridge and noticed a bench a hundred feet away. I followed Kendal to it and we sat, not having anything left to trump our thoughts.
“Here is how I see it, Jessie,” Kendal began quickly. “You were under my direction. I came onto you, and you stopped it.”
“When did I say that I wanted to stay with Colby?”
“I am assuming based on your behavior this morning.”
“Kendal, when I get home I’m breaking up with Colby.”
He straightened his back and turned toward me a bit more. That look of reprieve he’d been carrying along the curve of his brows eased away. “You are?”
“Yes. I am. But it also doesn’t mean that we can jump into a relationship. I . . . I think I want to be single for a while.”
“Well then what was last night?”
“Last night was amazing, minus the barfing part, obviously.” I chuckled but when I glanced at him, he was stiff as a board. “Kendal, I’m too unstable right now. I need to find a job and get on my feet on my own. And I don’t want Colby to get his feelings hurt. So what I was thinking was we could keep what happened last night between us . . . please. And as my duty to be honorable, and true to my feelings, I am still breaking up with Colby. Last night only proved that my feelings for him are not as strong as his are for me.”
“I don’t understand. If you were true to your feelings then you would choose to stay with me.”
“Kendal, don’t you see? I need time to sort things out. I can’t do it with Colby or you around.”
“So you’re breaking up with me too,” he claimed, confused.
“I’m sorry. I just need time to think.” I checked my phone again. “I need to call Regina. She can help me.”
“So can Gizelle.”
“No! She can’t know about this.”
“Jessie, you’re breaking up with Colby. Of course she’s going to know something happened.”
“Oh, I know,” I winced. “But swear to me on your life you won’t tell her what happened between us. I mean it, Kendal. No one can know. It would destroy Colby. It’s already destroying me.”
“I swear . . . but she’s going to know. I know my sister. She isn’t stupid. She’s Hallmark.”
“What’s Hallmark?”
“It means I can only imagine what sort of conspiracies Hallmark puts into her mind from watching too many movies.”
“Huh.” Good point. “She can have her speculations, but that’s all they’ll be.”
He took a deep breath. “Alright doe. Whatever you need to survive.”
We didn’t shake on it, but I trusted him. Now we needed to head home so I could take care of my mistake.
“It is odd,” Kendal said back in the U-Haul, twenty minutes from Portland.
“What?”
“That you’re moving to Portland to be with your boyfriend and you’re going to end up breaking his heart the moment you arrive. I actually feel bad for the guy.”
I stretched my legs and took a deep breath. “Well I actually feel worse for the guy who nearly shit his pants in front of his crush.”
Chapter Fifteen
Jessie
The wind blew underneath my skirt as my heels clinked quickly across the wet parking lot. Splashes of wet dew brushed into my shoes with each step and had completely soaked my feet by the time I entered the school. I knew I had to either get used to the rain or quit wearing heels, because the drizzling would never cease.
Gizelle set me up with a position as a second-grade teacher where Daniela had started school. It definitely wasn’t my dream job, but it was safe. From time to time, I still dreamt of changing the world.
One month passed since Kendal had driven me to my apartment, helped me unload everything, and offered to buy me dinner. I accepted graciously, thanked him sincerely, and sent him on his way. I didn’t think I was rude, nor did I know this much time would pass without talking to him. I admit I half expected him to call after hearing the news about me and Colby. He didn’t. All I knew was that he took an immediate flight back to Hollywood once he’d dropped me off.
But I knew that he knew, that I knew he knew, that I broke up with Colby. It’s because I told Gizelle. And if there’s anything I’ve learned over the last month and spending time with her on the weekends when I offered to babysit Daniela so they could go out on a date was that one: she loved her brother, and two: she couldn’t keep a secret.
So why didn’t he call?
I picked up my phone a few times to call him but I was scared that what happened in Ashland would get out. And what if me just being a teacher wasn’t good enough for him? The more I thought about us, the more I thought about the not us. He was rich; not me. He was fearless; not me. He had everything; not me.
Colby called. So much I almost blocked his number. Our breakup wasn’t ugly, but it wasn’t pleasant. I got home with Kendal and hours later, I was breaking up with Colby. Of course he suspected that it was
Kendal, and that something happened on our road trip. I assured him countless times that it wasn’t Kendal, and that it was me, and I needed to create some space to really look at my future. Which was true. I guess I never saw myself marrying Colby. And if that was the case then why did I stay with him? I did love him, but I also felt he wasn’t the one for me. Thanks to Kendal I figured that out real quick.
Initially, Colby stopped by my little apartment unannounced. He said it was because he missed me, but I knew it was because he couldn’t help but see if Kendal was here. I told him to stop and give me space. He finally listened after the fifth time. It’s been two weeks since we spoke.
“Good morning, Ms. Evans,” one of my little second graders said. His jacket shoulder were wet from the rain.
“Good morning, Victor,” I replied. I was sorting papers on my desk waiting for the bell to ring as the children came in.
But just because I hadn’t seen Colby in two weeks didn’t mean he hasn’t tried to keep tabs on me. I mean, Gizelle told me he asks Austin about me all the time . . . still fishing for information about me and Kendal. Austin told him nothing happened, and that he’s making up things. Austin’s reassurance usually holds Colby down for a solid three days before he’s asking about me again.
And Regina was no help. She and Jake were all the way in Florida having their second baby any day now. Her reply after I told her everything that happened was,
“You’re an idiot,” she said, probably sipping on one of her prego pops.
“What does that mean?” I asked back.
“If I have to state it for you at your age then my lord help us all.”
I sighed, looking at the old piece of wool tied around my wrist. I wanted to tell Regina I knew now. This thread was our promise to each other. Would he remember it if he saw it? I glanced back up at my students as they entered. This wasn’t where I wanted to be. I wanted more, still, even after my accident, after all those years of pain. Finding Kendal has made me realize that. Colby put me in a protective shell once everything happened, and it was good, but I felt that bubble burst each time Kendal neared me, and it wasn’t scary.
I knew now that I needed to keep my promise. I needed to keep my dream—whatever that was.
My purse on the floor at my feet suddenly buzzed. Gizelle’s profile picture popped up in her text.
Want to take a quick trip to Seaside Beach? We rented a three-bedroom apartment for the weekend.
With who?
I invited those ladies you met with me at yoga.
Sue and Bianca? They seemed a little nuts.
They are. Extremely. But this bunch is going to be nuts because we also invited Kendal and Colby.
I coughed out loud. The kids’ heads looked up in a wave. I waved my hands to them, still choking with disbelief. “I’m fine, I’m fine.”
Are you crazy? How would that be a good idea?
Trust me, I thought the same thing. But I talked to Kendal about it last night and he said it was a good idea.
Kendal is crazy! That’s the worst idea I’ve ever heard.
He has a point. The silence between the three of you isn’t good. Let’s all go as friends and have a good time, which thanks to Sue and Bianca, is possible now. With them around there will be no time for awkwardness. Come on. I know you have nothing else to do either. And this could be a good time to prove to Colby that nothing happened with you and my brother.
Nothing did happen with me and Kendal.
Yeah, sure. Listen, you don’t have to sell me on that story. You only have to sell it to Colby. Please??? Austin can’t take Colby anymore. He’s so annoying. And really, this could be fun. You’ll love Seaside. There are lots of things to do. You could even split off from the group if you wanted.
I don’t think I can. I needed to go buy a new bra this weekend. The one I have is breaking.
That can wait. I can even go with you when we get back.
The bell suddenly chimed aloud. I gritted my teeth and breathed in before hesitantly typing a response.
Okay, I’m in.
It was still drizzling when Gizelle and Austin pulled up to my apartment in their white Mercedes SUV. I only had one duffle and a small toiletry bag. Austin wore a black windbreaker that wrapped baggy around his arms as he piled them in the back next to the cooler and other things they packed for the weekend and I hopped in.
“My mother sometimes I swear,” Gizelle said, staring down at her phone. Her fingers were spazzing all over the glass as she texted.
“Honey, I told you . . .” Austin paused and turned his head to the side mirror as he looked to back out. “Actually your mother told you herself. She won’t drive in the rain.”
“I don’t understand. Who doesn’t drive in the rain?” she said, frustrated as her fingers ceaselessly moved across her screen.
“Someone who has a driver drive her around all day long.”
“Is your mom watching Daniela?” I wondered. Would that mean that Kendal would come back to Portland?
“Yes,” Austin answered. “And if she’s not comfortable driving in the rain then I certainly don’t want her driving in the rain with our daughter in the car.”
“I agree,” Gizelle sighed and leaned back in the chair, resting her phone on her lap and pulling her straight hair behind her ears. “That woman is going to go crazy stuck in the house. It’s supposed to rain all weekend.”
I looked over to Sue and Bianca. They seemed to be stuck in a serious conversation but Bianca still found time to chew her bubblegum rather loudly. I wondered how she could hear Sue with all that chomping. I scanned what they were wearing to make sure I was in the same league.
Sue was a pretty brunette with dark smoky eyes and pale lipstick. I could see her sports bra beneath her see-through sweater. Bianca was a little more unconventional, with fire-red hair, two shades brighter than I’d ever seen, and a small diamond stud in her nose I almost didn’t notice. Her shoulders were massively round, much buffer since I last saw them, standing bare in her sleeveless crop top. She reminded me of a white version of Serena Williams. Well, maybe the orange version. Her fake tan wasn’t that great. I looked at her stomach and quickly looked away. Oh gosh, what sort of woman gets a six-pack like that?
“Sue and Bianca you guys remember Jessie, right?” Gizelle said suddenly.
Bianca, facing Sue, suddenly turned her stone abs my way and both their blank faces drew two wide smiles. Their energy was already overpowering. They leaned in a little too closely, and I pressed my back against the door.
“Hi Jessie, how’ve you been hon?” Sue said.
“I’m good. And you guys?”
“Just living life,” Bianca said, smiling and chomping. “How come we haven’t seen you at the gym in a while?”
“Oh, I—” My body jerked backwards as Austin took the car out of park and drove away. “I know I need to go. I’m losing my cheerleader muscle. I mean, my pants are starting to get loose. But I needed a break after the move.”
Gizelle swung around. “What if we made our own little gym on the beach!”
“You guys been going much?” I couldn’t help but look at Bianca’s shoulders as if there was another person in the car.
“Bianca just got her pro card,” Gizelle stated.
“Wow, congratulations.”
“Thank you.” She looked at Gizelle with an eager grin. “Is your brother coming?”
Gizelle beamed, inconspicuously looking at me before doubling her glance to Bianca. “He’s already there. He’s been there since Wednesday.”
Thump. Heat. Thump, thump. My cheeks suddenly warmed as my heart picked up its pace. I looked away as if I didn’t care, as if knowing that he had been so close to me the last couple days didn’t produce the heat in my cheeks. My fingers absently combed through my hair, even though I had curled and combed through it a million times. I made sure they weren’t the bubblegum curls. They were the sexy, wavy kind. The beach-look kind. The kind that says hey Kendal make a m
ove.
Bianca’s elbow accidently bumped me out of my reverie.
“Is he still a player?” she asked.
Wait, what?
“Last time I saw him I was super skinny,” Bianca rambled on.
“And last time I saw him I had a boyfriend. Who says he’d be after you?” Sue said, half mad.
Bianca chuckled and gave Sue a hug. “That’s why I love you, you sassy bitch.”
“Half-way bitch,” Sue replied, but it sounded like she was reminding her of a mutual agreement already made between the two of them. They both nodded, chuckling as they repeated ‘half-way bitches.’
“Hold on half-way bitches, your prince charming is calling me,” Gizelle said.
“What do you guys want to do when we get there?” Sue whispered to me and Bianca as Gizelle answered her phone.
“What do you mean?” I asked. “Don't we just sit around and talk . . . and drink . . . or do whatever lazy adults do on a beach?”
“Hot tubbing,” Bianca stated surely. I did not want to be next to her in a swimsuit.
“Yeah girl. I just bought a new bikini,” Sue beamed then turned to Bianca. “What’s the name of the other guy coming?”
Oh my, these half-way bitches had no clue about my background with the boys. I sure as hell wasn’t going to tell them. I wondered if Colby or Kendal knew what was about to hit them. I couldn’t help but chuckle under my breath. This might actually save me.
“No Kendal, he’s not with us. I told you I was bringing Jessie, Sue, and Bianca,” Gizelle suddenly said irritated. “Tomorrow morning . . . because that’s what he told Austin . . . yes, you get a room to yourself unless you want the couch . . . no . . . weren’t you listening when we planned this . . . she’s staying in a room with Sue and Bianca . . . ”