by Jamie Begley
“How long have I been here?”
“You’ve been in and out of it for five days.”
Reaper pulled the cloth away from his face, noticing the differences in Viper. Age had been both kind and hard on him. He had always been a tough motherfucker, but time had hardened his features, removing any softness of youth. Unyielding strength showed in his uncompromising jaw, and even while tired power exuded from Viper, making Reaper feel like a pale shadow in comparison.
“I’ve been here for five days?”
“Almost six.”
“How long have you been here?” he asked as he washed his arms and chest.
“The whole time. Ton is here, too. He went to get us some coffee.”
Reaper rewet the cloth before he started washing his legs. “Did I dream you said you were married?”
“Her name is Winter. We have a daughter, Aisha.”
Slinging the cloth into the pan, he leaned back onto the bed, exhausted. “Does your wife know I was stupid enough to get myself kidnapped?”
Viper clenched his jaw at his words. “Nothing about what happened to you was your fault.”
Giving a curt laugh, Reaper shook his head at his brother. “Every bit of what I went through was all my fucking fault, and you know it.”
When he saw Viper was about to say something, Reaper grabbed the cloth again to wring it out, his sluggish muscles quivering at the motion. “You mind?”
Viper got to his feet, going to the window to look out it and giving his back to Reaper so that he could wash his dick without being forced to do so under Viper’s scrutiny.
“How long did it take Taylor to figure out I was missing?”
“I knew you were missing the next day. Lucky had decided to join you for the ride back to Ohio. When you didn’t show up at the gas station, he called Taylor. She said she was expecting you and would call him when you arrived at her place. When you weren’t there by six, we knew something was wrong. Lucky had decided not to continue on to Ohio without you and sent Will to check on you at Mrs. Langley’s house. All your things were gone, even your car and motorcycle. It was like you had disappeared from the earth.
“Crash looked into your accounts; he saw you paid for a meal the day before in Treepoint. He also told us the money to pay for the machinery that was to be purchased on Monday was missing. When Will checked into it, Vincent Bedford told him that you had closed the account the day before without any explanation.”
“I didn’t steal the money.”
Viper jerked around. “I knew you hadn’t stolen the fucking money. It took a while, but we finally figured out who was responsible when Bedford tried to kill Beth. She’s the woman Bedford hired to take care of Mrs. Langley. Beth found the paperwork that Bedford had hidden in the attic; it showed he was the one who stole the money from your account. He and his daughter, Sam, tried to kill Beth; Samantha finally admitted what happened to you to stay out of prison. If Beth hadn’t decided to look through the papers before destroying them, we would all be dead. Memphis was about to blow the clubhouse and kill us all.”
“He had it figured out.” Reaching for the clean gown on the hospital table, he accepted Viper’s help to fasten the snaps on the arms.
Taking the sheet off the bed, Viper disposed of it in the bin before taking a clean one from the table and spreading it over him.
Turning his gaze away from Viper, Reaper stared at the blank wall. “Why did it take you so long to find me?”
Viper walked around the bed and into his field of vision. “We thought you were dead. Sam told us that you were and so did Memphis. Shit, he even told us where you were buried, and we found a body there.”
“How did you find me?”
“Hammer and Jonas are bounty hunters now. One of their bounties had a computer they hacked. They found a video of you on the hard drive that led them to Crash. Hammer, Jonas, and Killyama organized your rescue.”
Hammer and Jonas had seen the tapes. Reaper wanted to throw the pan of soapy water against the wall.
“Killyama?”
“The woman you want me to give the roses to.”
“She told me her name was Rae.”
“Killyama is her nickname.”
Reaper didn’t laugh at the nickname. The woman had saved his life by not hesitating to use her gun to protect him. He had asked Viper to give her the roses because, once they had ditched the Road Demons who had tried to prevent his escape, he had passed out on her shoulder. As bad as he had smelled, any other woman would have had her head hanging out of the window, gagging.
“Have you given them to her yet?” he forced the question out, despite the shame he felt knowing she had seen the video.
“Not yet. I’ve been here with you, but I will.”
“How did I end up at the place they took me to after they saved me?”
“Killyama belongs to the Destructors’ MC. It wasn’t a sanctioned rescue for Hammer’s team, so they didn’t want to take the chance that the Road Demons would find out and move you or kill you before they could extract you, and they didn’t tell us because they didn’t want to alert Crash for the same reason.”
Each time Viper opened his mouth, it added another set of eyes that had viewed his humiliation. He didn’t want to know which tape they had watched. Any of the videos that Slate had made of him would be sick and repulsive to anyone who didn’t want to feed their own twisted needs. The videos catered to the maggots of society, those who searched for others to enjoy sharing a feast of their victims. Those victims had no more importance to them than flies swarming decaying roadside kills as they passed by in their expensive cars, knowing someone else would come by and pick up the remains.
Swallowing back his mortification, he gritted his teeth to ask the next question. “Did any of The Last Riders see the tapes?”
“Shade and Train did before your rescue. I did when I found out you were alive.”
He wished Viper had lied. Feeling a gulf form between them as the torment in his brother’s eyes increased, showing the depths of his pain at what he gone through and hadn’t been there to protect Gavin—as Loker had done when they were growing up—forced Reaper to look away. He just couldn’t deal with Viper’s pain when he couldn’t handle his own.
“Where’s Memphis?” he asked, turning his head back to his brother.
“Dead.”
That hurt. He had imagined the man dead a million different ways, all by his own hand.
“Bedford?”
“He died six months ago from a heart attack while in prison.”
What heart? Reaper asked himself. The bastard hadn’t had one.
“Crash?”
“On ice. We’re waiting for you to dole out his punishment.”
Having Crash left for him didn’t even the scoreboard since he couldn’t take out the other two men.
Hatred burned like bile in his throat at being unable to watch the life drain out of their bodies with the same enjoyment they’d had watching his torture. The burst of intense emotion had him breaking out in a cold sweat.
Raising a shaky hand to sweep his long hair back away from his face, he said, “It’s too hot in here. Turn the air conditioner down.”
Reaper shifted uncomfortably on the bed under Viper’s perusal as he moved to adjust the thermostat.
“Where’s Taylor? Is she with Ton?”
“I haven’t called her yet,” Viper said, slowly dropping his hand away from the thermostat.
“Why not? I want to see her.” Brushing a drop of sweat away that was coursing down the side of his forehead, his eyes started darting around the room. He needed to get out of there, out of Viper’s sight before he started begging him for the drugs that would stop his body from feeling as if it were a quivering mass of Jell-O.
Ton coming in the door dragged his gaze from Viper. Reaper saw the coffee cups shake in his hands upon seeing him. His father set the coffee down, then leaned over the bed rails to hug him. “Son, you don’t know how g
ood it is to see you awake!”
He could only bear to be hugged for a second before he had to pull away from his father’s hold, feeling the same chasm with Ton as he was experiencing with Viper. The emotional connection shared between them had been with a man he no longer was, the man returned to them a stinking animal.
Running a hand along his arm, he started shivering.
“Be careful; you’re going to dislodge your IV,” Viper warned.
“Has the doctor been in yet?” Ton asked worriedly.
“No.” Viper moved around the bed to still Reaper’s movements.
Reaper froze. “I’ll stop.”
Not wanting to be with them anymore, with them looking at him like he was a two-year-old requiring constant supervision, he needed Taylor to bridge the yawning gap that was becoming deeper by the minute.
“Where’s Taylor?” He gripped the bed rail to keep himself still when all he wanted to do was jerk the IV out of his arm and run to find the relief that would still the craving that was bombarding every inch of his body.
He wasn’t so out of it that he missed the shared look of the men at his bedside.
“I haven’t contacted her because I wanted to wait to see what you wanted me to do …,” Viper began.
“What’s,” he shouted, then glanced at Viper and fearfully lowered his voice, “not to understand? I want to see her.” The memory of Crash telling him that Viper was glad he was out of The Last Riders’ hair had him petrified that they would hand him back over to Slate.
Viper’s face paled as he took a step closer to the bed, bringing his hand to the nape of Reaper’s neck to pull him closer to the side of the bed. “There is nothing to be afraid of anymore, not of Slate, Crash, or anyone they used against you to make your life a living hell. You’re safe. No one can get close to you even if they tried, and they’re smart enough not to try.”
Reaper began to shake in panic. “Crash said—”
“I don’t give a fuck what he told you,” Viper said harshly, his face a tortured mask. “We never turned our backs on you. We knew you were only blowing off steam when you gave back your cut. We were hurt but never angry with you.”
Viper bent down to press his forehead against his, meeting his eyes head-on and gripping the back of his neck tighter. “I love you, baby brother. And even if you stuck a knife in my chest to rip out my heart, I’d still love you. Don’t you ever fucking doubt that.”
Reaper closed his eyes tightly and nodded.
“Good.” Viper released his neck to run a hand over the top of his head. “The reason I didn’t call Taylor is because she’s married.”
Reaper felt as if he had been dragged under an eight-foot tidal wave.
“She’s married?” He looked at his father, silently begging him to tell him it wasn’t true.
“I’m sorry, son.” Ton swiped his hand over his eyes.
Reaper began to laugh hysterically. “She’s married! I’m surprised Crash didn’t tell me. That must have made his fucking year.”
“I’ll get the nurse,” he heard Ton say from what felt like a million miles away.
“The only thing that kept me alive was thinking about her, wanting to hold her again.”
“No, it wasn’t. You stayed alive in the military during missions that no one else walked away from, because you wouldn’t give up. It was that same determination that’s kept you alive all these years, not Taylor.”
“I can’t go through this without her.”
“Listen to me.” Viper placed a hand on his arm when Reaper started to jerkily lower the bed rail. “I’ll call Taylor and talk to her. If she wants to come, I’ll get her here as soon as possible. I just wanted to wait to see what you wanted me to do.
“I learned a hard lesson about how much you cared about her. I just didn’t want to repeat the same mistake by interfering in your relationship with her again. I couldn’t handle losing you again.”
Reaper had always known that Viper loved him, but standing beside him, trying to calm him down, his brother’s guard was lowered and the confident, assured president of The Last Riders exposed the depths of the remorse he had been living with the years they had been apart.
Reaper closed his eyes tightly, hating himself for being the single misshapen link in Viper’s armor. As president of The Last Riders, he held numerous men’s lives in the palm of his hands. Being a husband and a father held the same responsibilities.
For the first time in their lives, Reaper felt a surge of protection go through him, like a lightning bolt hitting a transformer. Lying back on the bed, he stopped trying to get up and stared at the ceiling, giving Viper the opportunity to regain his composure.
“Call Taylor.”
Viper was taking out his phone when Ton and a man wearing a white coat came into the room. Tuning out what the doctor was saying to him, he watched Viper go out the door and waited for him to come back. He nodded his head as if was paying attention to what was being said.
“When your condition improves, your brother has managed to get you admitted into a treatment facility to wean you off the drugs your body has become dependent on. There’s usually a six- to seven-month waiting list, but whatever strings he pulled, it worked. If your vitals stay stable for the next week and we manage to get you to eat on your own, then we’ll be able to get you out of this hospital bed.”
He impatiently waited for Viper to come back inside the room, wanting the doctor to finish talking. He and Taylor would figure out where he was going next when he was released. He wanted to be where she was, close by so that she would be able to see him anytime she could.
After the doctor left, he expected Viper to come inside and finish the conversation with Taylor. He was about to send Ton out for him when his brother came back, his phone no longer in his hand. From his bleak expression, the hope that Taylor would ask to speak with him was another hurt that shattered yet another image of how it would be when he was freed.
“What did she say?”
“She can’t come right now. Taylor needs time before she talks to you. She’s afraid that it will be too upsetting for her until she is able to process that you’re alive. Taylor’s expecting, and she’s concerned that it might be too much for her and the baby.”
“She’s pregnant?”
“Yes.”
The woman he loved was having another man’s child. In all the time that he had been held captive, not once had he allowed himself to think that she wouldn’t be waiting for him with open arms. Now, not only was she not waiting for him, she had been in another man’s arms.
“She’ll come and see me, and when she does, we’ll be together again.”
Neither Viper nor Ton tried to convince him that she wouldn’t, changing the subject to talk over what had been discussed when Viper was calling Taylor.
“You’ll be given a room with a private patio,” Ton told him. “Viper’s made arrangements so that one of us will be able to stay with you so you won’t be alone. It’s against the rules, but the director is going to make an exception for us.”
“I think it would be better if I do this alone.”
“I’m not letting you out of my sight again.” Ton flushed a ruddy hue. “Did Viper tell you that I was dating? Is that why you don’t want me around?”
“Ton.” Viper gave their father a sharp glance.
Reaper looked at Ton and Viper suspiciously. “He didn’t tell me. Who are you seeing?”
“Winter’s aunt, Mrs. Langley.”
“Vincent Bedford’s mother-in-law?”
“Yes. Shay is nothing like her son-in-law.”
Reaper bore no hatred for Mrs. Langley. She had been kind to him during his stay with her. He remembered Slate’s warning to Vincent that if she woke, he would kill her. Thankfully, the sweet-natured woman hadn’t been another casualty of Slate’s; he was happy his father found someone to love.
“No, she isn’t.” His gut clenched as another withdrawal hit him. He needed the blissful rus
h of drugs pumping into his bloodstream. He clutched the sheet with sweaty hands and twisted away when Viper reached out to touch him. He could no longer hide the agony of need, driving him to drop the façade he had been showing them.
“Call the nurse,” Reaper managed to get out.
Viper jumped to press the Call button. Reaper let him answer the nurse over the intercom before he grabbed Viper’s wrist.
“I want you and Ton to leave.”
“We’re not leaving.”
“I can’t do this with you and Dad here,” he begged. “Please, Viper. I’m safe, and I’ll get through the withdrawals, but I can’t do it with both of you watching every move I make. The two of you being here is making it worse. Please … this is the only shred of dignity I have left. Don’t take it from me. Just go.” With the last of his strength, he managed the last of his plea before the nurse arrived to administer a sedative to push him back into the unconsciousness that took away the pain. He watched with a mix of agony and relief as Viper and Ton left him alone to combat the demons that weren’t ready to release their hold on a body they’d owned for so long, determined to drive him back to the pit of Hell that Slate ruled.
Viper and Ton would never be able to understand the lure of returning to that hell, because they were too strong. They had significant others, people who cared if they went to sleep and didn’t wake up the next day. He didn’t have that anymore.
Viper, his father, The Last Riders, and Taylor were his reasons for breathing, despite it being easier to give up and find solace in death. He no longer had that and felt as if there was a deep divide between him, Viper, and Ton. The friendships he had with The Last Riders were built around a man he no longer was—and would never be again.
Ultimately, the strongest motivation for his survival had been Taylor. During his darkest moments, he’d clung to their future. He wouldn’t give up on that future, not when they still had a chance now that he was free. She would want to see him once the shock wore off. They would look at each other and everything would be okay again. He would promise to never leave her again, and she would leave her husband.
Everything was going to be all right ….