“You know what I mean,” Harper said, standing.
“I don’t, actually,” he said. “Come on. Let’s go check them out. I left the paper on the table before taking you to bed.”
“Thanks for that, too,” Harper murmured, suddenly shy.
“You don’t have to thank me, Harper,” he told her and kissed her cheek. “I would do anything for you.”
Harper was silent because she wasn’t sure how to respond. But she did know she believed him.
Chapter 18
“At least they caught me from my good side,” Zach said as he looked at the pictures, his eyes roving over the sports section of The Phoenix Sun. “The real question is, how did Bryan even get these pictures?”
Harper felt her cheeks burst into flames as she shrugged her shoulders. She had never regretted much of anything in her life before, but being with Bryan was probably the only thing. She knew it made her learn about herself and she was grateful for the experience, but when push came to shove, she was embarrassed that someone like her could ever be with someone like him. Bryan was good looking, but he was weird, possessive and, when things got bad, abusive.
“I have no idea,” she said and then pressed her lips together.
“Was he stalking you?” Zach asked, snapping his head to her. “I mean, from what you’ve told me about him, he would fall into that category.”
“I don’t know,” Harper said, snapping even though that wasn’t her intention. She pulled her eyes away from the newspaper and forced them to Zach’s face. “I’m sorry. I just don’t like talking about him. He’s not even in my life anymore but he already brings out the worst in me.”
Zach reached out to touch her. From her peripheral vision, she watched as he flexed his fingers in hesitation before pushing through it and placing his hand on her shoulder. “Tell me what happened,” he said in a soft murmur. His blue eyes pooled with sincerity. “Tell me so I can be there for you.”
Harper clenched her jaw, looking away. She wanted to tell Zach, wanted to let him in.
“Please.”
It was the word that made her come undone.
“There’s really nothing more to tell you than I already have,” she said, staring at the table underneath her hands rather than at him. She didn’t think she’d be able to talk if she had to look at him. “He wasn’t always bad. In fact, the majority of the time, he was sweet. But every now and then…” She clenched her jaw but forced herself to continue. She needed to be able to get this out if she was ever going to move on. “He would critique the way I looked. One time, he told me the fact that my part was centered pissed him off. Like I can help that my hair naturally parts in the middle. He would always be on my case about looking a certain way if we went out. I get that maybe I should have put more effort into my appearance. I understand how important it is to try for your partner. I just didn’t appreciate the fact that he was quick to cut me down and hard to get a compliment out of him.
“A lot of the times, I would call him out on the hypocrisy of his behavior. Normally, it would lead to a big fight because he would get mad at my reaction to something he said rather than realize if he hadn’t said anything in the first place, I wouldn’t be upset.” Harper couldn’t help but roll her eyes when she told him. “But he was terrible at taking responsibility for anything. Instead, he would blame me, blame my reactions to things, blame the way I handled stuff. So I said something about it. And we would fight. A lot. We both have bad tempers so it wasn’t long before one of us was shouting and saying mean things and…” She shook her head. “Things got bad. And I think when you’re in that, you don’t see it. But when you get your space and you take the time to yourself, you see it from the outside.
“He left on a business trip and I got that realization pretty fast. So I made my decision that once he got back, I would break up with him. I refused to do it over the phone or through a text. I knew exactly what I was going to say and how I was going to say it.
“When he got home, he was just the sweetest guy. He treated me the same way he had in the beginning of our relationship, like nothing had changed. And I couldn’t break up with him, not when it felt so wonderful to be around him.
“A couple of weeks later, we had our worst fight to date.” She smiled to yourself. “I can’t even remember what we were fighting about. Probably something stupid because our fights were pretty pointless. And without warning, he grabbed me by my arms, slammed me against the wall, and put his fingers around my throat. He choked me until I was clawing at his hands, begging him to let me go. I honestly thought he was going to kill me.
“When he dropped me to the floor, I ran to my bathroom, locked myself in, and called the cops. He tried to coax me out of there with apologies and compliments, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave until the police came. I just kept thinking, ‘If he hadn’t stopped, I could have died’ over and over again.”
“You didn’t flinch when I did that to you in bed,” Zach pointed out in a low murmur. “If you had told me…”
Harper shook her head. “It’s different,” she said, placing her hand on his forearm. “You’re different. I trust you.”
Zach smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. His jaw was clenched and he couldn’t help but stare at Harper, taking her in. She felt herself flush under his scrutiny and she looked away. He reached out, flexing his fingers until they brushed the flesh of her neck. She tensed but did not flinch, and the tension was not because she was afraid of him. No. It was because he was touching her. Goosebumps sprang up wherever he touched her, like a shadow trailing after its master.
“What happened next?” he managed to get out, his voice tight, controlled. It almost sounded like he was angry, like he had to know the conclusion even though he might not want to.
“The cops came,” she breathed. She tried to ignore Bryan’s fingers on her throat, but she couldn’t seem to shake them off as easily as she thought she would. “Two of them. Both men. Very polite. I still remember their names. Lee and Lonigro. They got me an emergency protective order that night and they served him with it a little later. We went to court to get an extension after it expired and they granted it to me. It was active for a year, and in that year, I never heard from him. I never saw him. To be honest, I completely forgot about him.
“Until he showed up. He would never make contact with me, but I started noticing him at places I was, like the gym or the grocery store. I hadn’t realized the restraining order expired. I kept telling myself I’d go renew it, but I kept putting it off and he never made direct contact so I thought that maybe it was just a coincidence…” She let her voice trail off, sighing as her eyes scanned the picture of her and Zach once again. “I thought it was over.”
“It might not be over,” Zach said, placing a hand on her shoulder, “but it’s different. I will never let anyone hurt you again, Harper. I promise.”
“Zach, I appreciate that, but it’s not your responsibility to protect me.” She craned her neck from her seat at the kitchen table so she could look him in the eyes. “I need to figure this out.”
“We do,” he corrected gently. He removed his hand from her shoulder only to slide into the chair next to her and take her hand in his. She hadn’t realized how big his hand was, dwarfing hers entirely. He pressed his lips together, his eyes going over Harper’s face, her neck, down to her collarbone, before looking up at her once again. “Did you hear what happened in Toronto?”
Harper shook her head. “No, not really,” she murmured. “Just the rumors.”
“What did you hear?”
Harper caught his eye, furrowing her brow. She didn’t know why he wanted to talk about this now, but ever since the Gulls had acquired Zach, she had been curious about the validity of the rumors and how they affected his former team. Quite a lot, if Toronto was willing to trade him for so little.
“I heard that you slept with Lipscomb’s wife,” Harper said, “cheating on your girlfriend at the time.” She forced her eye
s into his. It was tough for her to maintain because she didn’t want him to think she believed them and didn’t want to come across like she was judging him if he had.
Zach nodded like that was what he expected.
“I didn’t actually sleep with Tina,” he said. His hands were flat on the surface of the table and he looked down at the veins on the back of his hands. “The team went out after a win last season to a local underground nightclub. I went because I liked hanging out with the guys. The thing people don’t understand is, at least with me, I don’t go to these clubs looking to get laid. I could give a shit about the girls. I just want to hang out with my team, drink a beer, and enjoy myself.”
Harper found herself smiling, nodding her head. She looked the sound of Zach’s voice, deep with a slight Toronto accent, where the ‘o’ sound was drawled out a little bit more.
“For some reason, the wives showed up. To this day, I don’t know if the guys mentioned it to them or if they were actually invited, but they showed up and knew exactly where to find us. Of course, they were either at the bar or in their own group, dancing to the music. Yes, as hockey players especially in Canada, we get recognized a lot more than we do here in the States, but for the majority of the players, they still believe in what marriage is. They don’t cheat.
“I get that the wives sometimes feel abandoned and unappreciated. I get it. Especially if they don’t work and have three kids and we’re traveling, it’s tough. I know a lot more wives that cheat much more than the players.
“Gordon Brewer wasn’t even out that night. I have no idea why she came unless one of the wives told her what was going on and she wanted to come.” He shrugged. “But she was there. Tina is pretty. Really, really pretty. Brewer takes her for granted. Everyone knows it. I didn’t really know her but she seemed nice and if she put up with Brewer, she had some determination.”
“Or she wanted the status of being married to a hockey player,” Harper pointed out before she could stop herself.
Zach pushed his brow up. “That’s an excellent point,” he said. “Anyway, she was there and we started talking. I felt bad for her – she looked lonely and I didn’t want her to feel awkward. So I started talking to her and one thing led to another and she was on my lap, kissing my neck. The guys were still dancing and they could have walked in at any moment. I pushed her off me. She was startled but nothing bad happened – like, she didn’t get hurt or anything.
“She didn’t take the rejection well. She started making up these lies, about how I hit on her and how I had sex with her in the room. I was afraid she was going to say I raped her, but she didn’t. Only that I got her a strong drink and she wasn’t able to say no. Almost as bad, I know. Dianne didn’t believe me. She had accused me of cheating at least once a month, after a road trip. The guys completely ostracized me. I tried to explain but they didn’t believe me and I stopped trying. I figure if they were so quick to believe her, I wasn’t going to push it. Management found out, and when they offered me the trade, I jumped at it. I didn’t even care where they sent me. I wound up here.” His eyes dropped to her lips. “Little did I know, the worst thing that ever happened to me would be the best thing.”
He leaned over and kissed her. “How are you feeling?” he asked.
“Better,” she said.
He nodded. “Good,” he said, “because I want you. I think we’ve done enough talking for one day.” His lips curled up in a mischievous grin. “Let’s break in your couch.”
Chapter 19
Harper didn’t slink out of bed the next morning. She allowed herself the privilege of remaining in his arms. She had never gotten a more restful sleep since she broke up with Bryan years ago. Somehow, Zach had this ability to make her feel safe. Protected. Like nothing bad could happen to her.
When he woke her up the next morning to make love to her again, she was more than willing to open her body up the way she opened up her soul to him last night. She had no idea how it was possible, but somehow, once she was vulnerable and completely honest with Zach – and herself – about everything, sex was enhanced. Better than before, which was saying something.
“I have practice this morning,” he murmured into her hair as he pulled her against him so he could kiss her shoulder blade. “Maybe I should call in sick and blame you.”
“Stop it,” Harper said with a soft smile on her face. Her eyes were closed and she breathed in a deep, clear breath. She felt at peace, content, like all was right in the world. “You need to go to practice, especially after that last game where you had a wide open net and somehow still decided to pass it.”
He laughed and she found that she loved the sound of it. She wanted to make him laugh even more.
“You’re starting to sound like Cherney,” he told her. “Good thing I have a thing for bald women with thick mustaches.”
Now, it was Harper who laughed. She wiggled around in his arms so she could look him in the eye. “I’m being serious,” she told him. “I don’t want to be that girl who holds you back. I know the team comes first” –
“You come first,” he corrected, “in more ways than one.” He kissed the point of her nose. “But I appreciate it. I know what you mean.”
“You know I’m serious, though, right?” Harper asked. Zach furrowed his brow and opened his eyes but kept his mouth closed, waiting for her to go on. “I know girls say things and do things differently. I get that. I just want you to know that when it comes to this, I completely understand. I want you to put the team first. I respect how hard you’ve been working and I wouldn’t let you throw it away for anything else. I think the only exception to that is if I were having your baby, and” – she stopped. “Okay, too soon. I promise I haven’t been thinking about that.” She closed her eyes, feeling herself turn red. “Shit.”
Zach chuckled, gripping her to him even tighter. “You’re so cute when you babble, sweetie,” he told her.
“Sweetie?” She quirked a brow and popped open an eye, looking at him with doubt.
“I happen to like pet names, thank you very much,” he told her. “It’s what I do when I’m serious about someone.”
This caused Harper to grin. “You’re serious about me?” she asked.
“As serious as a heart attack,” he informed her. He gave her a lopsided smile and she couldn’t help but smile in return. A genuine, warm smile.
“Stop it,” she said, playfully slapping him on his bare chest. “Don’t you have to get to practice?”
“I can call in,” he told her. “I think I’m coming down with something. I think you got me sick.”
She laughed again. “Go!” she said, thrusting her finger at the door. “I have to be there to write about it and there’s no way I’m going to be nice if you don’t show up.”
He gave her a quick kiss on the lips. “That’s fine with me,” he said. “I like it when you’re bad.”
Harper and Zach arrived at the Ice Palace in two separate cars within fifteen minutes of each other. Even though Zach did say he was serious about her, implying he wanted them to actually have a relationship rather than just some fun, Harper wasn’t quite ready to publicize their new thing. She didn’t think it would be professional in any capacity, and after a few weeks of feeling this out and making sure this was what she wanted, she planned to tell Seraphina everything first.
Harper tried to ignore the flutter of her heart as she stepped through the Palace doors and headed to take the elevator up to the club level of the rink. She hugged her notebook to her chest, her pen already between her fingers, and she tried to calm her anticipation down at seeing Zach again. Which was just silly, since she had seen him twenty minutes ago and they planned to meet up again for lunch.
Once the elevator reached the club level, the doors sprung open and she stepped out into a long hallway. There were a couple of boxes open during practice for the media to sit and watch. Some players had their family members there, while others preferred complete solitude. The players hadn�
�t yet gotten to the recently swept ice, and as Harper slid into the first row of the box seats, she took in the gleaming ice.
The Ice Palace had a luxurious club level, with rare photographs of the team since its inaugural season in 1993 framed and placed along the off-white hallways. There was a goosebump-inducing black and white photograph of Dimitri Petrov looking at his wife after losing Game 5 in the Stanley Cup Finals. His wife was off-camera but everyone knew he was staring at her, face ashen, eyes wide and sad. To be honest, Harper wasn’t sure how Dimitri felt being immortalized on the wall in this way, considering it was a loss and he was currently going through a divorce, but the photo was nothing short of haunting.
Similar photos littered the hallway, including one of Seraphina and Katella with their grandfather. Seraphina was no more than four, which made Katella six. Both girls looked strikingly similar to the way they look now – Seraphina with her blonde hair and big forest green eyes, Katella with her gold hair and sea-green eyes. Their personalities shone through – Katella’s easy confidence and intelligence in how to hold her body; Seraphina’s perceptive gaze and mischievousness.
Ken stood behind them, each hand on one shoulder of each granddaughter. He wasn’t smiling, save for the fact that his lips were turned up, and he was staring at the camera with a protective glint in his periwinkle blue eyes. He wore a white golf shirt with the Gulls’ anchor on the right breast pocket and tan slacks.
Harper didn’t know much about the personal life of the founder and his family, but she did know Ken raised his granddaughters like they were his own after their parents died in a car crash. And for Seraphina to have found her grandfather murdered in his office… Harper couldn’t even imagine what the sisters had gone through, what they were still going through as they carried on his legacy.
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