by Zandra Pope
She didn’t look up. Dark tears dotted her jeans. “If I drive a car into a crowd, I lose my driver’s license. If my magic— ,” she stopped, searching for the ability to say the words. When they wouldn’t come, she took a shuddering breath.
“It’s not the same thing. This was an accident. You didn’t mean to.”
“I still have to stop.”
“They brainwashed you, didn’t they? You were the Verity they were after and they got to you.”
“No one is making me stop. I decided on my own.”
“You can’t decide to stop. You’re not just deciding for yourself. If you decide to stop, you’re also deciding for me. If you stop, I’ll be another casualty.”
Ava took a shaky breath. “You’ve been wanting to leave the school. You’re the one who has been wanting to stop ever since they declared the new law. I’m finally telling you I agree with you, Greta. This is a good thing.” She smiled weakly, her dull eyes lacking any mirth.
“No, this isn’t how I wanted it to happen. Plus, important things are going down. I met a guy tonight.”
She snorted.
“No, not a guy, guy. A weird, imposing guy. Calls himself The Pardoner. He knows where my magic is. I will get my magic, finally.” I gripped Ava’s upper arms and caught her eyes with mine.
“Oh Greta! That’s wonderful. It’s what you’ve always wanted.” She was genuinely happy for me, but I felt horrible.
“No. It’s not. I’ve always wanted us to have magic together. Why is the balance always off with us? Why can’t we both be magical at the same time? We could have so much fun, Ava.”
“Not anymore. My magic is too dangerous, but I’m really happy for you.”
“I need you to keep your magic. To keep using it.”
She started to protest, but I cut her off.
“Don’t you understand? Everything has changed for me. I finally have hope. I found someone who can help me, but in order for him to help me, you have to keep giving me cover. Just for a little longer.”
Ava bit her bottom lip and fought back tears. “When we were at the dance, I thought it would be cool if we had fireworks. Fireworks are so awesome. Festive.” She sniffled and wiped her nose with the back of her hand.
I let her keep going. I wanted to hear what had happened.
“I was so wasted I could barely stand,” she said bitterly. “But, you know me, never one to shy away from a scene. Always calling attention to myself. Next thing I know five wee —ugh— monsters are tearing out people’s throats.”
“You’re being way too hard on yourself,” I said hugging her close.
“Tell that to the families of the nine people I killed.”
“Ava, anyone can make a mistake.”
“This wasn’t a mistake. It was killing. You can’t take my guilt away, Greta. The only thing that can fix this is if I stop doing magic. I’m too powerful. They measured my magic when I was under arrest and they found it to be three-times the amount of magic the average person has.”
“That’s a lot.”
“Yeah, that’s a lot. Did you know my blood levels of magic are the highest ever recorded?”
I let out a low whistle. “Don’t you see? You can’t stop. You have a special gift.”
“This is a gift I’m going to return.”
“Wait a minute. Return?” She couldn’t be saying what I thought she was saying.
Ava nodded. “I’ve agreed to have my magic censored.”
Her words were a knife through my heart. All of these years, I had hoped and prayed for magic of my own. My sister, who just admitted to being the most powerful magical we’ve ever seen, had decided to erase her magic. I couldn’t let that happen.
“Once you’re censored, you’ll never be able to regain your magic, Ava.”
She nodded and took a deep breath. “I know. It’s for the best.”
“Ava, you can’t.”
“It’s the perfect time. You’ll get your magic and I’ll get rid of mine. I’ll be able to have a great life outside the Slip. You can visit me whenever you want. And you’ll finally have what you always wanted, your own magic, your own agency. You won’t be in my shadow anymore.”
I started to cry. “Maybe I like your shadow.”
She laughed quietly. “You’ll get used to it. You probably won’t even notice my shadow isn’t there. You’ll be too busy using your own magic.”
This couldn’t be happening. I didn’t see the point in trying to convince her any more tonight. This was going to take time. Ava was hard headed, but she had a soft heart. Plus, she loved her magic. In her element, at a raging party, the girl knew how to have fun.
If only she hadn’t been so reckless.
24
The sun had barely peeked over the horizon when I woke Ava.
“Today’s a big day. Rise and shine.”
She groaned and tried to pull her pillow over her head.
“Nope. Up and out,” I said, pulling Ava’s legs off the bed and on to the floor.
“Why are you getting me up so early?”
“We need to get to class. Also, you may have forgotten in all the hubbub, but today is the day they announce the winner of The Golden Wand.”
“Oh gosh. Don’t tell me your name is still in?”
“I’m in it to win it.” I pumped my fist into the air with overdone enthusiasm. I had to be over the top to get Ava to engage with the world otherwise she’d slip into a catatonic state of despair. And no, that wasn’t an exaggeration. She was hanging by a thread.
We took side hallways and rarely used stairways to avoid people. I even more anxious than usual about being stopped and asked to do magic now that Ava was on strike. We were on the final flight of stairs, moments away from our Magical Transformation classroom when I saw Valerian on the landing. He was leaning against the wall as if he had been waiting for us. My heart began to pound a little faster at the sight of him. Now that my crush on Jeremy had cooled, I was in the market for a new one.
I wondered if things would change between us since our almost kiss last night, but almost immediately, I sensed a wall between us. He didn’t smile when he saw me. In fact, he seemed unhappy to see me.
“Hey gorgeous,” Valerian purred to Ava. “Lose the troll and ditch with me.”
My heart stopped. Ava’s breathing quickened. I glanced from Valerian to her. Used again. He was using me to get to her, just like Jeremy had.
“Dream on, jerk,” I sneered.
Valerian narrowed his eyes and his full lips became a thin white line of anger. “Why don’t you run along and let me have some alone time with Ava,” he paused as if he was savoring an especially disgusting bit of stewed frog and then he added, “Void.”
It was like a slap in the face. Tears stung my eyes, but I blinked them away. I had to be strong. No crying. At least, not right now. The fact that he called me a Void wasn’t too disconcerting. He called a lot of people that, especially when he was angry at them. Forcing my face to become a mask of indifference, I stepped around him.
“Come on, Ava,” I said, not taking the bait. “Valerian, throw your shade somewhere else. You’ve got no game here.”
A sinister smile played on his lips and jabbed a finger in my chest. “You don’t belong here with the big kids, Baby Troll. You faked your way in and now it’s going to get you killed.”
His words hung in the air between us. I didn’t react. I stood as still as a statue.
“Prove you’re not a Void, Greta,” he hissed with malice.
“I don’t have to prove anything to you.”
“Stop,” cried Ava.
Valerian said, “Fear,” directing magic at me. I side-stepped his spell with a spin and hit the ground in a defensive crouch.
Ava wasn’t so lucky. Hit by Valerian’s word, she crumpled in a heap on the floor.
“You missed your mark,” I said.
“It doesn’t matter. I’ve still got you right where I want you. Aren’t you worrie
d your sister can’t help you anymore?” Valerian’s lips curled in a snarl.
I stuck my chin out and curled my hands into fists. “I’m not worried about anything,” I lied. I would fake my way through this. Confidence was 99% of the game. “It’s against the rules to use your magic to attack, Valerian. Instant expulsion.”
Valerian crossed his arms and snorted. “You’re one to talk. Magic forgery is expulsion and— ” he stepped over to Ava and crouched next to her, “execution.” He drew a line across her neck with his index finger.
Ava whimpered. The fear was doing its work.
“Leave her alone. You’re a bully,” I yelled. “Your magic is weak. You’d be nothing without your evil dad.”
His eyes flashed with anger. “You’ll regret that, Void.”
“Stop calling me a Void. I have magic. Powerful magic.” I wouldn’t cave. Who knews what sort of game Valerian was playing with me. Did he know my secret, or was he playing a hunch?
“I’ll leave,” he growled. “Just as soon as you prove you’re not a Void.” His eyes narrowed and his lips curved into a cruel smile.
“I don’t have to prove anything to you.”
“On the contrary, Verity, you do. As the son of a Senator, one word from me, and you’re out of here. Further,” he said dully, as though it was taking all of his patience to continue this conversation, “Your sister and I have grown — close.” He leered at Ava. “Pillow talk is a wonderful source of information — secret information.”
I couldn’t help cast a glance at Ava. I implored her with my eyes to prove to me what Valerian was saying wasn’t true. She just lay on the floor, curled into a tight, defensive ball.
“Ava said nothing, because there’s nothing to say. I have magic. You’ve seen me do it. I don’t have to prove anything to you.”
“Faker,” he whispered. He bore into my eyes with an intensity I had never seen before, it was as if he was trying to tell me something. “You’ll be shamed in front of everyone.”
I straightened. He was threatening me. Ava wouldn’t let him get away with this. Even if she was afraid, she would help me. She had to. She must see how important her magic was, how fragile my place in the school was. We would do this, together.
Valerian thought he knew what I was, but he wasn’t sure. He thought he knew my sister was the source of my magic, but he needed more proof or he would have already reported me. He was fishing. He had to be.
Ava would never betray my secret to him. She would protect me. We would show him together, and maybe I’d get lucky and suddenly when I needed it most, my magic would appear.
Valerian grabbed my upper arm, pulled me to him roughly, and whispered in my ear like a snake trying to hypnotize its prey. “Give me a purple light dancing on your index finger.”
I glared at him. “A purple light, sure. Easy.”
This should have been easy. Ava pulled off stunts far greater than this multiple times a day. This would be child’s play for her — if she would do it.
I made a show of cracking my knuckles and clearing my throat.
“Quit stalling, Greta,” Valerian growled.
“Fine. You want purple light? You’ve got it.” I glared at Valerian and held my hand in front of me, willing light to manifest from inside of me. I knew Ava would do something grand, something amazing just to shut him up. I waited for fireworks to explode from my fingertips.
“Light,” I said.
No light came.
I faked a sneeze. “Sorry,” I said rubbing my nose. “Let me start over.”
“You can start over all day, Verity. Nothing’s going to change. You can’t do magic when you don’t have any,” Valerian taunted.
Come on, Ava. She had to help me. I needed her more than ever.
“Light,” I said. No light came. I pushed harder. Dark spots appeared before my eyes. Dizzy from the effort, I reminded myself to breathe. Fresh air flooded my lungs, but light did not appear on my fingertips.
“Problem, Greta?” Valerian had edged so close to me now that our noses were almost touching. His breath smelled like stale mints.
“You’re the problem,” I lied. “I’m not going to do this. You’re not going to bully me into performing for you. I’m not a trained monkey.”
“The truth is, Greta, you’re less than a trained monkey. You’re worse than a Void. You’re a criminal. You’re a liar. You’re a thief. You’re a felon who deserves the death sentence and it’s game over.”
He reached out to grab my arm. Was he planning to haul me into the headmaster’s office? Turn me in to campus security? Take me directly to his dad?
I wasn’t going to wait to find out. Memories of the night of the barn dance filled my head. Valerian couldn’t bully me when he had a secret, too.
I slapped him across the face, hard. He reeled away from me.
“There are a lot of people at the school with secrets, Valerian,” I said tightly. “Illegal shifters, for example.”
He rubbed his face where I had struck him and growled at me. “Touché.”
A shadow of distress played across Valerian’s features. His mouth twitched, and he looked like he was trying to say something, but it wouldn’t come out.
Finally he hissed, “Be on your guard. You’re going down, Verity.”
25
I weathered the showdown with Valerian pretty well. He fled, leaving me to pick up the pieces of Ava that had spilled in the stairwell.
“Are you feeling any better?”
“A little,” she said. Her hands trembled. “He’s not a very strong magical.”
“Why didn’t you help me?” I wanted to shake her. “Now he knows!”
Ava closed her eyes. Sweat beaded along her forehead. “I’m not using my magic. Don’t you understand? Things have changed. I’ve changed. I’m not going to hurt anyone else.”
“Unless it’s me you’re hurting,” I yelled back. “It’s all fine if I get hurt?” I lowered my voice into a deep, menacing growl. “Or executed.”
“You’re such a jerk,” she retorted. “All you ever think about is yourself and why you don’t have magic.”
“Quiet,” I hissed. “Are you trying to get us both killed?”
“What does it matter now? Tabby’s dead. It’s my fault. I deserve to die, too. An eye for an eye and all that.”
“It hasn’t worked that way since, like, Noah built the ark. You’re so full of crap. You’re so wrapped up in feeling sorry for yourself you can’t see the hell you’re bringing to the world around you.”
“I didn’t expect compassion from you. It’s not like you know what it’s like to have the responsibility of magic.” She shut her mouth, breathing heavily through flared nostrils.
I realized I was doing the same. I wanted to punch her. To scream at her. To rage and fight against her and all her stupidity. I couldn’t believe she was just giving up. Just like that. One mistake. Boom. Over.
“I’d never make the choice you’re making,” I said, my voice low and heavy with forced control. “I’d never give up something so precious. You’re like a rich person who gorges herself on food and then dumps the rest into the trash, right in front of starving people.”
Ava stood, her hands clenched and her eyes flinty with fury. “You’re supposed to be the starving one in this story? What a joke. You’re like a succubus, bleeding me dry, drip by drip, day by day.”
“I never asked you to bleed yourself dry for me. Faking my magic was your idea from the beginning.”
“You never tried to stop me.”
“You wouldn’t have stopped if I begged you. You’ve never listened to me. How many times have you scared the crap out of me by performing outrageous magic in my name? Magic I never would have done. Stunts I never would have pulled. You’re reckless. That’s the real reason Tabby is dead. It’s not your magic. It’s your recklessness.”
Ava’s face turned purple. I swear she was about to explode. It really looked like it. I actually glanced aroun
d the stairwell to see if there was someting I could use as a shield so I wouldn’t get her face pieces on me when she did blow.
But she didn’t. Of course she didn’t. She fumed. We had an epic stare-down. Both of us seriously contemplating killing the other. I knew she was wondering how bad it would be now that she had one death under her belt — would it be so bad to add another?
“How hard would it have been for you to spark a tiny purple light on my fingertip to prove to Valerian that I wasn’t a criminal?”
Without another word, she turned and climbed the stairs to our next class leaving me alone in the stairwell.
Her point was thunderingly clear. Ava wasn’t going to do magic — not even if it meant saving my life. A thread of fear pulled through my chest and I felt my chest tighten. I’d have to find another way to deal with classes and magical demonstrations.
The only way I could stay alive was to do what the Pardoner wanted. He was the only way I could stay alive. If I could just keep my head down, get through this class, attend the Golden Wand Award — and hand my sister over to the weird, secretive guy who met me in the dead of the foggy night….
What kind of monster was I? I couldn’t believe I was even considering cooperating with the Red Scare’s demands. What if they were sex traffickers? What if they sold Ava into magical slavery (it happens)? What if they had some horrible, nefarious plan to use her magic for world domination?
What if…?
The problem was that I didn’t know what they were planning. I didn’t know why they needed her. I didn’t know how they had found my magic. The only thing I knew was that the Pardoner said he wouldn’t harm Ava. Trusting him to keep his promise, a total and completely creepy stranger, was a huge leap of faith. If he was lying, if he was untrustworthy, if he was playing games with me, Ava and I were totally screwed.
Even so, he was my only option. Valerian was doing to do his best to out me as a Void. My days, even my hours, were numbered. I had to go with the Pardoner’s plan. I didn’t have any other choice.
I wouldn’t tell Ava that I planned to hand her over to a kidnapper. She would have reacted fairly negatively to that plan. So I planned to act like everything was totally cool between us.