“When I need to be.” Avery grabbed his hand and sobered. “Tell me, Isaac.”
He stared into the distance and sighed. “You’ll badger me until I do, won’t you?”
“Damn right.”
“I got into a fight at practice today with one of the guys. Broke his jaw, a couple ribs, messed up his ankle. He’s out for the playoffs.”
“Glanden?” she asked.
“Yeah.”
“What happened?”
“He’s been harassing this rookie, not your normal, good-natured harassing; this was mean, confidence-shattering harassment.”
“Why didn’t Cooper take care of it? Doesn’t he rule that team with an iron fist?”
“Glanden’s not stupid enough to do anything in front of the captains. So I finally had had enough and told him to stop it, not quite that nicely. Next thing I know I’m on my ass, and he’s jumping on top of me.”
“Oh.” Avery held her hand to her mouth.
“Yeah, he underestimated what a damn good street fighter I am. I lost it. I’d have killed him, Avery, if the guys hadn’t pulled me off him.” Isaac hung his head, as if ashamed.
“But you didn’t,” Avery reminded him gently.
“I wanted to. I thought I’d come further than that.”
“Isaac, don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re bound to fall back on old habits once in a while. You’re human.”
He met her gaze guiltily. “What if I do it to you? What if I lose my temper? What if we fight, and somehow my words or actions destroy you—destroy us—just like I’ve destroyed everyone else who’s ever mattered to me?”
“You won’t, Isaac. That’s not the man you are anymore.” She hated him doubting himself, throwing out all the good with the bad, as if he were still the old Isaac.
“Really? What kind of man do you really think I am? Do you really know me?” He bent down and pulled a pint of whiskey from a paper bag under his chair.
Avery stared at the bottle. She took it from him with a shaky hand and examined it. The seal wasn’t broken. “You’re the kind of man who has temptations, but you’re strong enough to resist them.”
“I was going to drink the whole damn thing.”
“But you didn’t.”
“I would have.”
“No, you would not have.” Avery leaned forward and framed his face between her hands. “I know the type of man you are, Isaac, and you’re the man I want. No one else will do but you. I love you with all your faults and all your history. I even love your baggage because it’s brought you to where you are today, and I love you for it, scars and all.” Avery kissed him. At first he was rigid, unyielding, but she persisted and wore him down pretty quickly.
“You love me?” he said incredulously after breaking the kiss.
“Yeah, I love you, and I want you,” she said, kissing him again so long and deep she was pretty sure she’d made him forget everything else.
“You’re evil,” he whispered against her mouth.
“And you love it.”
“Maybe.” He grinned his lopsided grin, letting her know everything would be okay.
She shrugged and leaned back, studying his face. “Why does Glanden hate you so much? It goes beyond just normal team dynamics, doesn’t it?”
“Yeah, I don’t like to talk about it.” Isaac sighed and nodded.
“You don’t like to talk much about anything. Spill it, buster. I want to know it all.”
“He used to be my best friend all through the minors. He was dating my sister and good friends with my girlfriend. We hung out as a group back then. He was at the house when the fight happened. He tried to stop them from leaving, but he was so drunk he had to run for the bathroom. He blames me for their deaths, just like my brothers do.”
“And like you do.”
“I’m working on that. Between you and Blake, I’m seeing that I need to forgive myself even if no one else does so I can move on and have a healthy future.” He met her gaze. “I love you, Avery. You bring out everything that is good about me and multiply it.”
“Exponentially,” she teased.
He threw back his head and laughed. Avery loved his laugh. Loved it. Loved how he made her feel like she was the most important person in his world. Loved how he made her life fuller. Just loved him.
“I love you, Isaac, more than you’ll ever possibly know.” She hugged him tight, filled with a weird combination of happiness and dread, like she’d programmed herself to believe when things were going good they had to turn bad.
He sobered. “Enough to follow me if I sign with another team in the off-season?”
Avery didn’t know the answer that question, and she saw the flash of sadness cross his face as he realized it.
“I—I need time to think,” she said, giving him the most honest answer she could.
He nodded, his mouth set in a grim frown. “The Sockeyes had me on a short leash. One screw-up, and I’m gone. I screwed up.”
“And now you’re gone?” she finished for him.
“I think so,” he said solemnly.
A tear fell down her cheek. She couldn’t stop it, couldn’t stop the intense pain piercing her heart.
Could she let him go if she had to or would she leave the only place she’d ever lived, her career with the horses, and follow him to the ends of the earth?
Was she that woman?
Chapter 20—Crossroads
Isaac walked to the gallows with his head high, shoulders pulled back, and his eyes straight ahead. Even though they might be stringing his NHL career from the highest tree, he wouldn’t show a flicker of emotion. If he was going out, he’d keep his tattered pride because it might be all he had once this meeting ended, especially after Avery’s reaction to his news.
He ran his hands over his face and composed himself. The last thing he needed right now was to think of Avery and how she looked when he asked her if she’d follow him.
Damn.
The door to Ethan’s office was shut. Mina looked up as he approached. Her usual militant expression was tempered by sympathy, which almost undid him.
She knew.
He was doomed.
“They’re waiting for you.” She reached out and patted his hand in a rare grandmotherly gesture.
“Thanks.” He headed for the door, wiping his sweaty palms on his black dress pants. He straightened his blue and green tie, filled his lungs with oxygen, and blew it out, gathering his courage.
“And Isaac?”
He stopped, hand on the doorknob, and looked over his shoulder at her. “Yeah?”
She smiled at him as if she were sorry to see him go. At least, that’s how he interpreted it. “You’re a good guy. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.”
Oh, shit, he was tearing up. He nodded, unable to speak, and wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his dress shirt. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door as dread choked him and fear clouded his vision.
Goodbye, hockey career.
Ethan, his normally friendly expression now one-hundred-percent business, looked up from some papers on the table. “Sit down, Ice.”
Isaac took the only empty seat between Coach Gorst and Cooper. Across from them sat Brad, Ethan, and Lauren. Every one of them wore matching grim frowns. Isaac was so screwed.
“Glanden is out for the next few months due to injuries sustained in your altercation,” Gorst said, but Isaac couldn’t get a read on how Coach felt about that. Most likely not good.
“Blake tells me Glanden had been riding the rookie pretty hard, and you finally took exception to that,” Cooper added, tapping his fingers on the table, a sure sign the team captain was pissed. But at who? Isaac or Glanden?
Isaac nodded slowly. “I lost my temper. No excuse for that.”
Ethan sat up straight and clasped his hands on the table. “Ice, why don’t you tell us what happened from your perspective? Don’t leave anything out, including your history with Glanden. I understand he called you a mur
derer. That’s a pretty damn serious accusation.”
With nothing to lose, Isaac told them everything, starting with their past friendship, the deaths of Isaac’s sister and girlfriend, and Glanden’s hatred of him over the years. He even told them of the fight club and his drug and drinking problems and his estrangement from his entire family. Talk about TMI. It was like once he started, he couldn’t stop. The group listened to his entire sad tale, nodding at times, but none of their expressions gave away what they might be thinking. Isaac would lose his shirt if he played poker with this bunch.
When he finished his sad, desperate tale, Isaac poured himself a cup of black coffee from the carafe on the table. He’d need it. Unfortunately, he wished he had something stronger than Tully’s.
“I’m sorry. I don’t usually burden people with my past.” Isaac held the coffee cup in two hands and took a sip, defeat soaking into his pores. “So now you know it all. I understand Glanden’s hatred, just like I understand my brothers’ hatred. I’ve been an asshole for a long time, but I’m trying to change. I haven’t had a drink in almost three years. I’ve tried my damnedest to be a good teammate, even made a few friends on the team. That’s never happened before with any of my other teams.”
He caught the glances between Lauren and Ethan, but damned if he could decipher them. Cooper sat rigidly next to him and stared straight ahead. So much for having the captain’s partial blessing to date Avery. Coach Gorst studied a picture of the Sockeyes team on the wall as if it held the answer to the secret of the Holy Grail.
“Isaac, do you mind waiting outside for a few minutes?”
“Okay.” Isaac’s hands shook as he opened the door.
Mina glanced up as Isaac took a seat in the reception area but said nothing. She probably didn’t want to see a grown man cry. While it seemed like hours, it was only minutes before they invited him back inside.
Isaac took a seat and spoke before they showed him the door permanently. “I want every one of you to know that it’s been an honor to play for this organization. I’ve enjoyed it and felt part of a team for the first time in my career. You’re doing something special here. Thank you for the opportunity.”
Everyone just stared at him. Except Ethan. He studied something on his iPad.
Finally, Ethan looked up. Isaac swallowed, feeling like he was going to throw up any minute. Ethan met Isaac’s gaze and smiled. He fucking smiled. Not a cruel smile, but a good smile. Isaac relaxed slightly.
Ethan cleared his throat and clasped his hands on the table. “Glanden won’t be a Sockeye next season.”
Isaac didn’t say a word, waiting for them to seal his fate.
“You, on the other hand, have made great strides this year,” Ethan continued.
Isaac waited for the inevitable ‘but.’ He’d been in this situation too many times.
Ethan looked at Coach, who spoke next. “Isaac, you’ve become an invaluable member of this team, and we’ll be contacting your agent regarding a long-term contract.”
Isaac shook his head, not believing what he’d just heard. Surely his brain was playing tricks on him. Only everyone was smiling. Even Cooper.
“You’re rewarding me for getting in a fight with a teammate?” he asked incredulously.
“No, we’re rewarding you for being a good teammate and standing up to a bully. We knew Jasper’s performance was off, but couldn’t figure out why. We’re also rewarding you for your outstanding play. We want you on our team for a long time, Isaac. You’re part of our future, part of what we’re building here in Seattle. We want a championship. Hell, we want several. You’re a piece of that championship puzzle.”
If Isaac had been standing, he’d have collapsed on the floor in shock.
“Any questions?” Ethan asked.
“I—uh—I’d be honored to be Sockeye for as long as you’ll have me.”
“You sure? You’ll have to get that damn tattoo,” Cooper warned him with a wink.
Isaac grinned. “That might be a deal breaker.”
Cooper shrugged, smiling. “Yeah, I resisted at first, too, but eventually we all succumb.”
The group stood and so did Isaac. He shook everyone’s hand. “Thank you. I won’t make you regret this decision.”
He headed for the door before they could change their minds. Mina smiled at him as he walked by. “Congratulations, Ice. Welcome to the Sockeyes.”
“Thanks, Mina.” He bent down and gave her a kiss on the cheek then strode off with a bounce in his step, leaving her blushing and for once speechless.
Taking the stairs two at a time, he raced to his car, anxious to tell Avery he was here to stay.
“Isaac!” Cooper called after him. Reluctantly, Isaac stopped and waited for Coop to catch up.
“What’s up?” Maybe this was the time that the other shoe dropped.
“You’re not such a badass. You know that.” Cooper glared at him.
Isaac didn’t know how to respond. “If you say so.”
“Except on the ice.”
“Thanks.”
“I think I’m okay with you dating Avery.”
“Thanks, Coop.” Isaac turned back to his car and unlocked the door.
“Ice, your brother? He’s the asshole. Not having a relationship with you is his loss.”
“Thanks.”
“You know, much as it would pain me, I’m okay playing on the same team as you.”
“Same here,” Isaac shot back with a dead serious expression.
“Well, get the hell out of here. I’m guessing someone’s waiting for you.”
“Yeah, she is.”
“Strange how a good woman can change a guy, isn’t it?”
“Sure is.”
“See ya tonight. We’re going to kick butt.”
“We’d better.”
Isaac drove out of the parking garage and into his future, which was so bright he just might need shades.
* * * *
Avery paced the barn aisle, unable to endure waiting by the phone any longer. With each pass, she’d pivot just before she came to Riot’s empty stall. The absence of his soft nicker and big brown eyes begging her for a treat was enough to break her heart, even if he had gone to a good home.
Onyx stuck his head over the stall door scrutinizing her every step, even though he withdrew each time she walked by. Still, it was progress. Big progress. Isaac continued to work with him, and the big horse watched for Isaac constantly, offering a hello nicker when he heard his footsteps in the aisle.
Isaac could be a free agent after the season, or maybe they’d already cut him loose, though she doubted it. They couldn’t afford to let him go while they were still in the playoffs.
Her heart ached for that tough, yet sweet, man of hers.
If they didn’t renew his contract, he’d be leaving Seattle, most likely never to return. Was she willing to let him go without her? Or would she leave the only place she’d ever wanted to live, leave her friends, her family, Sam, and Hans to follow Isaac around the country? What about her riding career? The only thing she’d ever wanted to do with her life. How easy would it be to start new in another place, find new students, a new trainer, and new horses to ride? Isaac had already been traded around quite a bit. She’d never be able to establish herself if they moved every year or even more often.
Her head hurt thinking about all this. Her choices were simple—lose Isaac or put her riding career on hold at least as long as he played in the NHL. And for what? He’d made no guarantees regarding their future together other than pledging his love. She didn’t have a ring on her finger nor had they discussed anything beyond the next twenty-four hours. Meanwhile, aspiring horse trainers waited in line for the chance to work with Hans and apprentice under Sam. This job would not be waiting for her in a few years.
Yet, if she stayed and he left, life wouldn’t be the same. Isaac had changed her outlook the day his crabby boxer decided to chase her horses. From that moment on, their lives had been on a col
lision course, and they’d crashed together, crashed into love, their hearts forever entwined in the wreckage, forming an irreplaceable bound.
She loved him. Not only did her love make him a better person, but his love made her a better person. Was she willing to give up the person she’d become because of him and redefine herself?
In her heart, she knew the answer, the only answer that would be acceptable to her, and he needed to hear it, too.
A car pulled up next to the barn, and Avery hurried to the barn door. Isaac got out, his expression unreadable, almost grim, and Avery’s heart slammed against her chest while her stomach dragged on the ground in utter despair and fear. She brought her hands up to her mouth and forced herself not to cry, even as hot tears stung her eyes, but not tears for her, tears for him.
“Hey,” he said softly as he walked toward her with his usual long, sure strides. Avery launched herself in his arms, the tears now streaming down her face.
“Isaac. I love you. No matter what, we’ll get through this together.” She cupped his stubble-covered jaw in her hands and searched his face.
He studied her, his blue eyes slicing away the last protective layers, and getting right down to her soul. “Will we? Will you be here at my side no matter what?”
Avery nodded. “Yes, yes, I will.”
“Even if it means moving back east or to Canada?”
She didn’t hesitate. “Yes. If you’ll have me, I’ll follow you anywhere.”
His handsome face broke into a happy, contented smile. “Good. That’s all I needed to hear, sweetheart.” He kissed her forehead, while she gripped his collar in her fists.
“What happened?” Everything inside her stilled, waiting for his answer; even her heart didn’t dare beat.
A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “They’re offering me a long-term contract,” he spoke so seriously that she couldn’t process the words at first.
“They? Who’s they?” Had the Sockeyes cut him already? Had his agent already found him a new team?
“The Sockeyes. Who else?” He grinned at her.
Avery pulled away and socked him in the arm. Hard. The bastard. He’d been playing her, all the while enjoying her agony.
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