by Alexa Riley
There are mats laid out and tables for the kids when they came in for lessons. I’ve brought in lanterns, furniture, and even plants. I want those who come here to feel safe, and now that Minnie is here, I want that for her, too.
“Thank you.” I smile at her. “I live here, so I try to make it feel like home.” Our home.
I keep that last thought to myself. Not yet, I remind myself. I clench and unclench my hand to get myself under control. Control that’s splitting with her so close to me. Being able to touch her, smell her. It’s a maddening feeling. How something can drive you crazy but make you want it at the same time, I have no idea. But it’s what I’m feeling right now.
“Are you kidding me? That’s awesome,” she says in wonder as she looks around. “I’d live here in a second.”
“That would be the ideal situation,” I say, and her eyes snap to mine. “For your training,” I add quickly, trying not to spook her, but it’s only for her benefit. I want her to be here more than anything.
It would be so much easier if she chose to be here. Because if I’m honest with myself, I’m not letting her go. Maybe that makes me as bad as those fuckers trying to marry her off. I’m not trying to turn her into some kind of robot or lap dog. I want her as mine so I can watch her bloom. To become the woman hiding behind that little girl who lost her mother years ago.
Her cheeks redden a bit, but she nods at me.
“I’ll move your things tomorrow,” I say, and she laughs.
It’s the most beautiful and pure thing I’ve heard in a long time. Not since we were children. I shouldn’t be thinking with my cock right now, but god, how I want to push her against the wall behind her and taste her sweetness.
She turns to look at me, biting her lip for a moment. “I often give medical care from my place. Can I do that here?”
I nod. She can do anything she wants from here as long as she’s here.
As I give Minnie the tour of the building she tells me about her work and what she does. The fact that she has to get married soon makes anger ignite inside me. Thinking of her with another male, especially one of those elite fuckers, makes me see red. I’ve never felt rage and jealousy like this, but in one second I’m ready to start a war. The Regime fuckers have taken so much from us. From me. They can’t have her, too. I’ll burn down their city before that happens. I keep my anger and the depths of my feeling hidden from my face. I know it would scare my Minnie.
There’s so much I want to tell her, but I need to make sure she hasn’t been completely taken by the Regime. I must assure myself she’s still loyal to her people. She has no idea, but I’m the leader of the Insurgence, and by being in this very room with me her life is in danger. But I need her, and though it puts her in danger, I have to have her. She’s meant to be here with me. At my side. She is the light to the darkness I feel inside me.
She’s here under the pretenses that I’ll teach her the history of the movement and help counsel her on ways to resist. But I’ve got my own agenda as well. She’s going to be by my side as we lead the Insurgence, and she’s going to be mine. She just doesn’t know it yet.
I do teach the kids who come here about our side of the story and what we want our future to be. But also, they help me pass on information. I’m going to do what I can to make sure Minnie stays with me, and by the time I need to move again, she’s going to be ready to come with me. I just need a little time to make her see.
When we get to the back of the building, I show her my bedroom. “You can stay in here while you train.” My eyes flash over to the bed.
I don’t have many possessions and my room is pretty simple. But I have all the things I need and it’s clean, which is more than I can say for a lot of people on this side of the wall. She looks over the sparse room and then at me with a smile on her face.
“Everything is so nice here. Thank you.”
If she recognizes the room was mine, she doesn’t say anything about it. Hopefully I can explain to her we’re going to be sharing the bed once I get her in here permanently. I don’t want to push. She only just agreed to stay here, and a little more easily than I thought she would. I study her face. Maybe she remembers me. She’s years younger than me, but maybe she feels the pull between us. That has to be it. How could she not? It’s like a living thing around us.
“It’s already dark out,” I say as I take a step towards her. The flickering lights of the candles silhouette her face. “It’s not safe for you to walk home now,” I lie. No one on this side of the wall would dare touch her since I spread word she’s mine.
“I didn’t realize the time.” Her eyes are apologetic, but that’s not what I’m after.
“You’ll stay here with me then.” I place my hand above her head on the frame of the door, moving in closer to her. I want to breathe in her sweet scent because it calms me like nothing else.
When I glance down at her scrubs, I see a hint of ink on the skin she has hidden. “What’s this?” I ask, gently pushing away the fabric to show the wings of a bird.
“Oh, that’s nothing.” She dismisses it, her eyes shifting away from me, but she doesn’t make a move to stop me from looking.
“A sparrow?” I ask, then see the light in her eyes as they come back to mine, pink rising to her cheeks.
She licks her lips and I lean down. I want to kiss her. I grip the frame of the door so hard I’m shocked it doesn't break under my grip, but I don’t want her to run from me. So instead of pressing my lips to hers, I whisper in her ear. “The most beautiful bird I’ve ever seen.”
When I lean back, I can see her cheeks are fully flushed now. She clears her throat and looks over at the bed, then back to me.
“I’ll go get you some water and let you get undressed. I’m afraid we’re going to have to share the bed.” I release the door frame.
If she doesn’t like the idea of getting into bed with me, she doesn’t protest the situation. She only nods as I reluctantly push away from the frame and go into the kitchen to get her a glass of water and try to get myself under control. I concentrate on the task to get my dick to go down, but it doesn't listen to me. It hasn’t been listening since I found her again. She’s the only person to ever draw his attention.
On my way, I chastise myself for being so forward with her. I don’t want to push her too fast, but already I’m telling her she’s going to sleep in my bed tonight. With me in it. Fuck, why am I thinking with my dick? There’s so much at stake right now, and I can’t chance fucking this up. Not only can we use her in the Insurgence, but she’s my destiny. She’s the one I’ve been trying to find for more years than I care to count. And now that I’ve got her in my grasp, I need to be careful with her delicate wings.
I take a drink of water and steel myself. I don’t plan on getting much sleep tonight, but I won’t take her. Not yet. She’ll be bred soon enough, binding her to me in every way, but tonight I’ll give her peace. I make no promises come morning, but right now, I’ll rest easy knowing my love has finally come into my arms.
Chapter Four
Minnie
I watch Owen as he interacts with the kids. He’s so patient and kind. The children hang on his every word. Heck, so do I. I have been here for a few days and have never felt more at ease in my life. I’m also not as lonely as when I’m in my tiny apartment. Being able to openly talk about what I’m feeling without being scared that it could get me in trouble is freeing. It has only been a few days and already I know Owen was right. I’m already starting to feel a little freer each second I’m by his side.
I pack up snacks for the children to bring with them when Owen is done teaching them today. Right now he’s sparring with them. I don’t care for the idea of children fighting, but Owen reminds me it’s for protection. That everyone should know how to protect themselves.
As If sensing my stare, he looks over at me and gives me a wink. That small gesture goes straight to my core.
Everything he does seems to do that to me. I can’t
stop staring at him, wanting to touch him. Lying in bed with him each night is bittersweet. I’ve never felt so safe or slept more soundly than I have with him by my side. I should’ve been terrified that first night, but I wasn’t.
I jumped into bed with a man I didn’t know, but for some reason it felt like I knew him. I felt deep down that I was safe with him. That he’d never hurt me. That he'd hurt himself before he’d ever let something happen to me.
The man might be a giant and a little scary looking at times, but seeing him with the children only deepens this longing I feel for him. It’s easy to tell he’s a man of authority. When he speaks people listen. He’s stern but understanding, and that’s what makes a good teacher. Although to be fair, he looks more like a warrior.
While he doesn’t agree with some of the things I say, he listens to my reasoning. At times I feel like I might be teaching him, too. My soft approach to the world brushing against his hard one, maybe finding a way to make both ways come together. I see reason to some of the things he believes and I can tell from his eyes when I talk he feels the same thing about some of the things I say.
“All right, kids. Grab your bags. You have your assignments,” he tells them. They rush over to the bags Owen set up this morning. I added some food to them and then I noticed notes in the bottom of the bags. Maybe they’re their assignments.
“Miss Minnie, are you Owen’s wife?” one of the little boys asks, looking up at me. He can’t be more than ten years old.
I blush. Owen walks over to me, wrapping an arm around me and pulling me into him. The action takes me by surprise. It’s not the first time he’s touched me. Light brushes have lingered when we pass one another. And let’s not forget about how each morning we wake wrapped around each other. No matter how hard I try to stay on my side of the bed, we always end up in the center.
“No, I’m not his wife.” I tell him the truth.
I do notice how the idea of being married to Owen doesn't scare me. Not even a little. It’s the first time I've ever thought about being married and not felt utter dread over it. How wonderful would it be if I could just marry Owen and stay on this side of the wall.
Owen grunts before handing the little boy his bag. They all take off running out of the building and Owen’s arm drops from around me. He heads towards the door, locking it behind the kids. He turns and leans up against it with his eyes on me. Like always, my body responds to his stare. It’s too intimate, as if he can see through my clothes.
These feelings are so foreign to me. I’ve never been drawn to a man before. It’s crazy and exciting as all these things wake up inside me. It’s even crazier that Owen is the one making them happen. I want to explore all that I feel with him, then wonder if he’s ever been with a woman before. What if he already has a woman? That would be impossible. I would have seen her by now. Right? He would have mentioned her. I can’t see him sharing a bed with me if he had someone in his life. But my mind produces doubt when I think about the fact that there’s nowhere else to sleep.
I glance away from him as jealousy and hurt flow through me. That boy asked if I was his wife. He must think he has one. It must be why Owen hasn’t kissed me or tried to make a move on me. I’m starting to wonder. I’ve given him a few opportunities for something a little more—leaning into him a couple of times and tilting my head back. Nothing. He always turns and walks away, stomping in anger.
Maybe he’s angry because he’s married and I’m inviting something that isn’t welcome. Embarrassment floods me, along with a feeling of loss. The loneliness that was slipping away over the past few days starts rising again. I turn, giving Owen my back so he can’t see the tears in my eyes. I don’t know why I feel betrayed, but I do. The hurt is bone deep.
I feel his body heat behind me and I’m startled. For a big man I don’t know how he moves so easily without making a sound. He turns me in his arms and I look up into his eyes as a tear slips free. His face looks pained.
Then his mouth is on mine.
Chapter Five
Owen
Her tear-filled eyes are my undoing. I can’t stand seeing the pain there. I crush my mouth down onto hers, wanting to comfort her but also needing to get myself under control. I push my tongue past her full, soft lips, needing to taste her sweetness.
I groan into her mouth as her soft tongue touches mine. Her kiss is unsure and delicate just like her. I pull her little body into mine and her softness melts into me. Her hand wraps around my neck and I lift her, not breaking my mouth from hers. Her legs wrap around my waist as I carry her back to our bedroom, laying her down onto the bed.
It takes everything in me to pull my mouth away from hers. I look down at her and her hair’s spread out on my pillow, her mouth swollen from my dominance.
“Seen a lot of shitty things in my life. But seeing you with tears in your eyes could be the worst,” I admit. My voice is gruff. She gives me a little smile, but I want more. “Tell me why you cry.” I lean down and kiss where one tear escaped, wanting to ease her pain.
She’s hesitates for a moment as if she’s scared to say whatever has upset her. “Are you married?” she blurts out in a rush. Pink tints her round cheeks.
I bark out a laugh. “No, princess, I’m not married.” Not yet at least. But we’ll get there soon enough. My little Minnie thinks she’s getting married to someone on the other side of the wall. The thought would be laughable if it didn’t piss me off so fucking much. The thought of her belonging to someone else makes anger like I’ve never felt burn me from the inside out. She was born to be mine as I was born to be hers.
I watch relief flood her features. “You were sad because you thought I belonged to another?” I ask her. My heart starts to pound. I’ve been waiting for a sign that she might remember who I am or even show me that she has interest in me. I’ve been holding back. It’s been driving me crazy. Having her so close that I can touch and smell her but being unable to take it further. I wanted her to get used to me. I know my size can be scary. Fuck, the need I have for her scares even myself at time. She glances away from my face. I put all my weight on one hand, using my other to take her chin and turn her to look back at me.
Her eyes dart back and forth between mine. “Maybe you’re just not interested in me. I know it’s not right. That I should—”
I cut her off, sealing my mouth over hers and taking another kiss. My control is snapping. When she moans into my mouth and her hands begin to roam my body, I rip my mouth from hers and jump up from the bed.
I start to pace and she sits up in bed, looking at me. Her fingers go to her mouth as she watches me prowl back and forth. I try to take a deep breath to calm myself. I was two seconds away from ripping her clothes off her body and taking her as mine. I was too rough with her tiny body. I need to take a moment and think.
I take one last look at her before I storm from the room. I go straight for the shower and flip the water on before stripping my clothes off. Once I step under the spray, the cold water is a welcome relief. It clears my mind but does nothing to stop the ache in my cock. It’s hard and jutting straight out, tight with need. It’s massive, and when I try to hold it under the cold water, it still throbs to cum.
I wrap my hand around my cock and start to pump. Cumming is the only way this is going to be eased. Images of Minnie below me in bed flash through my mind. Her lips swollen from my mouth on her. Her soft little body wiggling under mine. It only takes a second before the need is too great and my cum splashes against the wall as I groan out her name.
The relief only lasts a second and I look down to see my hand still wrapped around my cock. It’s still just as hard as when I walked in here. “Fuck,” I mumble, letting the cold water roll over me.
After a few more moments, I give up and flip off the water then grab a towel and dry myself off.
I grab a pair of sweats and rush back into the room, worried about what Minnie must think of my quick departure. I locked the door when the kids left, so I know she
couldn’t have left. I installed a lock on the inside as well so only I could open the door. I should be ashamed, but I’m not. I have to keep her from leaving me. I was scared she might try and slip out one night. I know she doesn’t want to, but the lock is the only thing that lets me sleep.
When I make it back to the room she’s still sitting in bed. Her eyes are wide and go directly to my chest. They trace down my body. I know the sweatpants don’t do much to hide what I’m feeling for her right now, and she sees every inch of it through the thin gray material.
She looks unsure of what to say. She’s being shyer than normal.
“I want you, Minnie. Don’t ever question that.”
Her eyes widen and she smiles. The tightness in my chest lessens a little. Thank fuck she's not crying anymore.
“Why did you leave just then?” She wiggles a little, getting closer to the edge of the bed. Closer to me.
That bed has been a nightmare and welcome relief these past few nights. I’m able to hold her at night but not able to take her.
“I don’t know if you’re ready for what I want,” I admit.
“I’ve been giving you little hints. I thought maybe…” She shrugs.
“That I didn’t want you?” I yell because it’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard.
Her innocent touches, the way she’d look up at me through her long eyelashes. Her lips always parted, begging for attention. “If I had seen a hint…”
I shake my head, not finishing my thought. She would have been flat on her back with a baby in her belly.
I turn around so I can try to calm myself once again. She looks so innocent on the bed I want to pounce on her.
A small gasp has me spinning around to look at her. She comes off the bed and flies at me, and I catch her in my arms. She wiggles all around, trying to break my hold. “Put me down! I want to see it!” I place her on her feet, unsure of what she’s talking about, but I’m never letting her go. I keep my tight hold on her.