“Fuck, Trev,” Xander continued, not taking Trevor’s questions seriously, “for all we know, her looks might be part of the problem. She could be doing all this for attention. How do we know this isn’t just some scam she’s concocted? There’s probably a trail of abandoned sugar daddies lining the coast of California.”
“Dude,” Trevor said sounding shocked, “I think you’re being a bit…brutal here.”
“I’m not being brutal,” Xander denied. “I’m being realistic. I’m viewing this from the perception of someone who isn’t emotionally involved with the situation. Karla’s emotionally involved because they’re friends, and you’re emotionally involved because you love your wife and would do anything for her. I’m looking at the facts.”
“She seems sincere,” Trevor mumbled.
I could hear the insulting arrogance in Xander’s every word. “All sociopaths seem sincere. Narcissists do, too.”
I expected surprise and some wariness, but what I hadn’t expected was flat out nastiness. According to Karla, Xander was supposed to be a good person with an open mind and a kind ear. How could she have gotten it so wrong?
There was a heartbeat of silence before Trevor said, “You’re kind of being a dick, Xan.”
“No, I’m not,” he argued.
No matter what I was feeling, I wasn’t going to let this continue. Karla had done me a huge favor by allowing me to stay in her home and forming a plan to help me. I wasn’t going to repay her by letting her husband and friend become at odds over something that was, ultimately, my problem.
Besides, at this point, I wanted nothing to do with Xander Raynes. I had enough problems without being talked about viciously for no good reason. He could have simply just said no.
I stepped out from the hallway and both men turned to look at me. Trevor looking startled and guilty. Xander looking apathetic. “Yeah, you kind of are,” I said, agreeing with Trevor.
Chapter 8
Xander~
I stared at Fallon, but what could I say? She overheard our conversation, and I wasn’t going to further insult her intelligence by denying what I said.
“Fallon-”
She threw her hand up to stop Trevor from saying whatever it was he was going to say, but she kept her eyes on me. “You know, this wasn’t even my idea,” she informed me, surprising me. “Karla had come up with this idea, insisting that you were a decent person. She swore you were a good guy and a genuine person. But, boy, was she ever wrong.”
“Fall-” Trevor tried again, but she just rolled right over him.
“I don’t need you to believe me,” she bit out, her eyes starting to water. “I don’t need you to agree to this…strange arrangement. I don’t need a fucking thing from you. Mr. Raynes. But…” Her voice broke as her hand waved back and forth between me and Trevor. “But, that? That was unnecessary. I’ve never done a thing to you to warrant you talking so horribly about me.” I couldn’t lie and say I wasn’t feeling lower and lower with each word she spewed. “You could have simply said no. That’s it. That’s all. When Karla brought it up, you could have simply told her no, because you and I both know you were never going to help me to begin with. You only agreed to this meeting so Karla wouldn’t see the real you.”
Seeing her, unashamed and vulnerably open, made my heart drop. She was right. I was being cruel because I was in a shitty mood. And all of this could have been avoided by simply saying no. “Fall-”
“Fuck you, Mr. Raynes,” she hissed.
“Fallon!” We had been so focused on Fallon’s rant, none of us had noticed Karla walking in. “What’s going on?”
Fallon turned towards her friend and let out an empty, dark laugh. “Your friend, you know, the one you swore was a good guy, a decent person? Well, I overheard him telling your husband that I had to be either crazy or a narcissist. That I made up this whole stalker thing up as a ruse to land sugar daddies to pay my way through life, didn’t you know?” Karla’s eyes flew to mine, and they were as wide as saucers.
“Karla-”
Fallon’s dark laugh sliced through what I was going to say. “Yeah, Karla,” she sneered. “He didn’t want you to know that he really isn’t a good guy, so he agreed to his meeting, so you’d still look at him through rose-colored glasses.”
“Fallon, that’s not what’s going on,” Trevor said.
Fallon ignored everyone around her and stepped up to me until she was forced to tilt her head back to maintain eye contact. “I don’t care if you believe me. I don’t care what you think of me. And I, sure as fuck, don’t care what face you choose to show the world. You can just go fuck yourself, Mr. Raynes.”
She went to walk away, and I don’t know why I did it, but I reached out and grabbed her arm. I couldn’t just let this end like this. “Fa-”
Fallon wrenched her arm out of my hold so hard, she stumbled back. The look she gave me was pure, unadulterated hate. “Don’t ever touch me again,” she snarled, tears of hate and fury coursing down her face. “Just like no one has the right to…to enter my home without my permission. Just like no one has the right to pry into my life without my permission. Just like no one has the right to control me without my permission. No one has the right to touch me without my permission. No one has the right to terrorize me.” I watched as she turned her back on us and storm out of the kitchen, and I couldn’t believe how torn up I was over watching her fall magnificently apart.
“What in the hell is going on?” Karla hissed at both me and Trevor.
“Ba-”
I cut Trevor off. This was all me. “Don’t get mad at him, Karla,” I told her. “I was the one talking shit, not Trev.”
Her pretty face fell in shock. “Why?” she asked. “Why would you talk shit about her? What’d…” Karla was genuinely stunned, and I felt like shit more so than I already did.
“I was…just trying to work it all out in my head, and…I wasn’t watching my words,” I lamely excused, but then thought better of it. “Okay, maybe I was being a bit dickish, but I wasn’t trying to be cruel.”
Karla look hurt and that was gutting me. “I…oh, God,” she cried out brokenly. “I promised her she was safe here.” Her eyes darted back and forth between me and Trevor. “I told her…I’m the one who told her to come here. I’m the one who promised she’d be welcomed and protected and you guys…” She placed a hand on her stomach like she was in physical pain. “…oh, God.”
Trevor raced towards her. “Babe-”
Karla looked up at him, and she didn’t look mad, exactly, but more like disappointed. “You don’t understand, Trevor,” she said, cutting him off. “Up until five minutes ago, I was the only person in her life that she had. I was the only person who hasn’t let her down. I…she’ll never trust me again.”
This time, I stepped towards Karla. “I’m sorry, Karla,” I told her, and realized how much I meant it. “I’ll make it right. I’ll-” Commotion in the living room cut me off and had us all heading into the room to see Fallon storming through the living room, all her bags in tow.
“Fallon-”
Fallon cut Karla off. “Thank you, for everything, Karla. But I’m not going to do this,” she announced to the room. Then she looked over at Trevor. “Thank you for allowing me to stay last night.”
Karla rushed towards her. “Fallon, it’s all a big misunderstanding-”
Fallon smirked at her. “Their voices were loud and clear, Karla,” she chuckled darkly. “There’s no misunderstanding here.” Fallon dropped one of her bags and wrapped Karla in a one-arm hug. “I love you, and I’m sorry if I caused any problems.”
Karla pulled back. “Fallon, don’t leave,” she begged.
I watched as Fallon grabbed her bag and turned those blue eyes my way. “I’m sorry I ever met you. And I’m really sorry people like you exist in a world where cynicism outshines compassion,” she said evenly.
I stepped to her because I was very aware this disaster was entirely my fault. “Look-”
We all kind of stood stuck as she dropped her bag, opened the door, grabbed her bag again, and then walked out of the house. The second it was obvious she wasn’t going to shut the door behind her, Karla, Trevor, and I snapped out of our shock and raced towards the door. As soon as I cleared the doorway, I saw Jacob’s cab idling by the curb. I watched as he jumped out of his cab when he noticed Fallon was carrying all her bags.
I knew I wasn’t doing myself any favors, but I also knew if I left things like this, the guilt would eat me alive and I’d never be able to face Karla again without that guilt reflecting in my eyes. I raced down the walkway as Fallon and Jacob were placing her bags in the trunk of the cab.
“Fallon, wait a second,” I said as I approached her.
She whirled around to face me, and I knew there was no way out of this. I couldn’t undo the way she saw me. “Stay away from me, Mr. Raynes,” she hissed, and I irrationally got irritated.
“Quit calling me that!”
Fallon ignored me. “Get away from me!” she snapped.
I stepped to her to-I don’t know what-but that’s when Jacob got involved. He pulled her behind him, and his face was the most serious I had ever seen in all the years I’ve known Jacob. “Mr. Xander, Miss Fallon asked you to leave her alone,” he repeated.
I felt Karla before I heard her. “Fallon, don’t leave like this,” she begged again.
Fallon’s gaze shot towards Karla. “I still love you and I still trust you, Karla. But…I’m not going to stay, making your husband uncomfortable. And I sure as hell am not going to stay to be subjected to…whatever this is.”
Before Karla could say anything more, Jacob had his arm wrapped around Fallon’s shoulders and was shielding her as he opened the cab’s rear door and ushered her inside. Jacob shut the door, finished placing Fallon’s bags in the trunk, and made his way to the driver’s side door. He gave me and Karla a terse nod of acknowledgment before getting in the cab and turning the ignition.
I stared down into the window and Fallon’s face remained facing forward, her expression completely stilled. I watched as they drove off and the rock in the pit of my stomach felt like it was never going to go away.
“What the hell just happened?” Karla mumbled quietly.
I looked down at her. “I’m sorry, Karla,” I said, and I meant every fucking word. “I…I’m not sure what got into me.” Other than my fucked-up day that I took out on someone who hadn’t deserved it.
She looked up at me. “I just don’t understand, Xander,” she replied. “You’re not…you’re not that person.” She was right. I wasn’t usually a cruel person. Even if I didn’t believe Fallon, I shouldn’t have been so cold about it.
“I’ll find her and make it right,” I said, promising the impossible.
Karla shook her head. “Just don’t, Xander,” she whispered. “She’s been through enough.”
Well, fuck.
Chapter 9
Fallon~
What a disaster.
I had envisioned a lot of scenarios when Karla set up that meeting, but I had never expected it to turn out this way. I never expected someone who Karla called one of her best friends to turn out to be so awful.
Even without Karla’s suggestion to entrust all my finances to…that man, the plan had been that I’d live in Brant. And now, I needed to find a new place to try to live. I also knew I couldn’t just stay in the back of Jacob’s cab all day.
I didn’t have a car or a place to stay, so no matter what I decided, I was going to have to show my I.D. for a motel room or a car I could sleep in. If I was going to show my hand, it made more sense to buy a car since I would need one to get around.
To run.
I leaned forward, and asked Jacob, “Hey, Jacob, is there a car lot in this town? I need a car.”
I watched his shoulders hunch as if he were dreading ruining my day further by telling me there wasn’t. “No, Miss Fallon,” he answered, confirming my assumption.
“Do you know if there are any more buses coming through town tonight?” I needed to get out of Brant, that much I knew.
I watched the back of his head shake back and forth. “No, there aren’t,” he replied. “But I can drive you wherever you need to go.” It was a sweet offer, and I respected how he wasn’t prying, but I couldn’t ask this man to drive me hours out of town. I wouldn’t repay his kindness like that.
“Is there a cheap hotel or something in town?” I really didn’t care about the price, but the seedier I could find, the more likely I could get by without showing any identification. However, Brant didn’t strike me as the type of town that had seedy motels. The town really was picturesque.
“We have one bed and breakfast that Milly Sue runs, but we do have a motel on the edge of town that runs the highway for travelers,” he replied.
No way in hell I was going to stay at Milly Sue’s. “Can you take me to the motel on the highway, Jacob?”
“Of course, Miss Fallon,” he whispered, and proceeded to drive me to the roadside motel.
As we pulled into the motel’s car lot, I noticed a mini-convenient store on the right side of the shared commercial lot, and an understated tavern on the other side. It was actually a great place to stop for a rest if you were traveling. You could stockpile your road trip supplies and have a drink to decompress from a long drive.
Jacob pulled into an empty parking space right in front of the motel’s office, but before I could get out, he turned around in his seat to face me. “Stay here,” he instructed. “I’ll go see if they have a room available, okay?”
I stared into Jacob’s kind brown eyes and actually felt wrecked that the world wasn’t filled with more people like Jacob. I barely knew the man, but I had a feeling that Jacob always did the right thing because he didn’t know how not to. He was kind, compassionate, and real. The world could do with a shitload more Jacobs, and a lot less Xanders.
I also realized just how close I was to having an exhausted emotional breakdown. Jacob’s kindness was proving to be too much, so I just gave him a small smile and nodded my head.
After a few minutes, Jacob exited the motel’s office with a key in hand, and I was stunned when he got back into the cab and drove us further into the motel’s structure. He parked in the empty space in front of a room that had 1045 on its door, and I couldn’t keep quiet any longer. “Jacob?”
He turned around in his seat again to face me. “I’m not sure what is going on,” he started, “but that…argument at Miss Karla’s…well, I imagine you would probably welcome some privacy.”
“But…I don’t want to cause any issues,” I stuttered. Jacob had a shiny gold band on his ring finger, and the last thing I wanted was for his wife to find out he had rented a motel room in his name for a complete stranger. Small towns were the horrible way of unfounded rumors.
Jacob smiled. “Miss Fallon, even if my wife didn’t trust me completely, I called her when I was in the office and told her there’d be a charge on our credit card for Roadies’ Motel.” Wow. “She said okay and requested that I be careful. Now, let’s get you situated, yeah?” He didn’t give me a chance to respond as he got out of the car and headed towards the back of the cab to grab my bags. I finally opened the cab’s door with shaky hands to help him.
We stood side-by-side with the trunk open when he handed me the keys to the motel room and said, “Go on and check the room out while I get these. I want to make sure you’re happy with it before I leave you to it, Miss Fallon.”
There was no way to stave off the emotional breakdown.
The tears started streaming down my face, and this sweet, sweet man gathered me up in his arms and just held me as I exhausted the past two weeks through a horribly undignified meltdown. “Now, now, Miss Fallon,” he cooed. “Everything will look better in the morning.”
But it wouldn’t.
That’s what he didn’t know
. Things wouldn’t be better in the morning because I was still going to wake up in the morning tired, afraid, and lonely. Karla was right when she had said a stalker gets off on inciting fear. And I was at a crossroads where I was going to either keep living in fear or just let the person come for me.
I pulled back and smiled at Jacob through my tears. “Thank you, Jacob,” I told him sincerely.
He smiled back. “Go on, now,” he replied. “Go check out the room.”
I did as he asked while he grabbed my bags and, I have to say, the room was nice as far as roadside motels went. I checked out the bathroom, and it was as equally clean and tidy as the room. Coming back out of the bathroom, I saw Jacob setting my bags on the bed and, once again, I was so grateful that he had been the person I chose out the phone book. I was also grateful that Karla had still had a landline and Jacob’s number had still been fresh in my memory, so I could call him after that disaster with Xander Raynes. I also still had his card.
“All good?”
I smiled and nodded. “I can’t thank you enough for doing this for me, Jacob,” I told him honestly. “Thank your wife, also.”
Jacob’s smile lit the room. “I’ll be sure to do just that,” he replied right before stepping to stand in front of me. His face took on the same seriousness I saw when he told Mr. Raynes to step back. “I’m not sure what you’re running from, but I sensed you needed the anonymity of some…peace and quiet. While I don’t believe Mr. Xander is dangerous, clearly, you just need some…breathing room.” I took a deep breath because he couldn’t be more right. “Call me if you need anything, Miss Fallon.”
I shook my head. “You’ve already done so much, Jacob,” I told him. “Let me get you the money for the room and then you ca-”
Jacob took a step back. “No,” he argued. “There will be no paying us for the room. No one should have to pay back anyone for doing the right thing.”
“But-”
“Miss Fallon, if we couldn’t afford it, we wouldn’t have done it,” he stated firmly. “Just pay it forward, and all that.”
Real Shadows Page 5