The prosecutor started with a series of routine questions about who Chloe was and how long she’d known her stepfather. Everyone listed in rapt silence. When the prosecutor asked her if Chuck was in the courtroom and asked her to identify him, she looked directly at the table where Reed sat and identified her stepfather by pointing at him.
It had started as mutual flirtation, she said solemnly. Then her stepfather begin touching her in non-sexual ways. A pat on the back, a hand on her arm. Then it grew into kissing with his hand up her shirt or down her pants.
“How did you react when this would happen, Chloe?” the prosecutor asked, leaning against the wood rail of the jury box.
“I . . . liked it. I wanted it to happen.” Her expression clouded with shame.
“How did the subject of sex come up for the first time?”
She sighed before continuing. “My mom was out of town for the weekend. Chuck kissed me and asked if I wanted to take things further between us.”
“And what did you say?”
“I said yes.”
Chuck leaned toward Reed and whispered something in his ear. Reed didn’t move or acknowledge him, and Chuck moved back to his side of the table, clearly agitated.
“Can you describe what happened next?” the prosecuting attorney said.
“We went to my bedroom,” she said, looking down at her lap as she spoke. “We kissed and Chuck took off my shirt and all of his clothes. Then he took off my pants and told me to lay down on the bed.”
“What did you do?”
“I told him I wasn’t sure I wanted to do it. I was scared, and it didn’t feel right.”
The prosecutor approached the stand and spoke to Chloe. “Can you tell the jury what exact words you said to him?”
“I said, ‘I don’t think I can do this.’”
“And what did he say in response?”
She sighed again. “He said, ‘It’s too late. I’ll get blue balls if we don’t do it now.’”
“What happened then?”
“He pushed me onto the bed and . . .” she paused to compose herself, “pulled my underwear off.”
A sick taste rose in my throat. This was all too familiar.
“What did you do and say, Chloe?”
“I said no. I kicked and tried to get away. But he held me down and . . . did it anyway.”
“I know this is hard, Chloe,” the prosecutor said, “but can you tell the jury what he did?”
“He had sex with me. He raped me.”
“Did you realize that immediately?”
She shook her head. “He told me it was consensual since I led him on. But I said no. I said it so many times. So when my mom got home from her trip, I told her, and she took me to the police station.”
When the prosecutor sat down at his table, the judge looked at Reed.
“Mr. Lockhart?”
“No questions, your honor,” Reed said.
When Chloe stepped down from the stand, I could see that her hands were shaking. She clasped them together and they steadied.
I admired the grace of this young woman. Just sixteen years old, and she’d been brave enough to stand up in court and confront her stepfather. Brave enough to speak some hard truths.
Suddenly I felt a strong urge to do the same.
WHEN THE JUDGE CALLED a break in the trial, I walked back to the diner, still thinking about Chloe. I pushed the back door open and walked in, and Margie peeked at me through the pass through. As soon as she saw me, she came charging through the double doors into the kitchen.
“Something’s wrong,” she said. “What’s wrong, Ivy?”
I took a deep breath and looked up to meet her eyes. “I need to go somewhere alone. It’s a long drive, and I don’t know if I’ll be back tomorrow night or Sunday. Can you pick Noah up from his daycare and keep him for me?”
She hesitated before answering. “Of course. But I don’t like the look on your face right now. I feel like something’s wrong.”
“I’m okay. This is just something I’ve needed to do for a while.”
“I don’t mean to pry,” she said, the corners of her eyes creased with worry, “but does anyone know where you’re going? I don’t want you running off if no one has any idea where you’re going.”
“I’m going to my hometown. Lexington, Michigan. I have to see someone there.”
“Someone dangerous?”
I laid a hand on Margie’s arm. “It’s a family member. Everything’s okay, I promise.”
“You’ll have your phone with you? And you’ll call us if you need to?”
“I will. Thanks for taking care of Noah.”
Margie threw her arms around me in a hug. “Be careful.”
“Don’t worry about me.”
I stopped at home and threw some clean clothes, my toothbrush and toothpaste into a bag. My heart was racing as I got into my car to start the long drive to Lexington. Just the thought of seeing the town again made me nervous. I couldn’t imagine what seeing my father would do to me.
It was time, though. Past time. I wasn’t going to let the past hold me back anymore.
With every hour of the drive that passed, my resolve grew stronger. As I crossed state lines, I found I was eager to confront the man I’d been hiding from. A switch had been flipped inside me, not just from losing Reed, but from watching Chloe face her stepfather and say out loud what he did to her.
By the time I pulled into Lexington and made the familiar trip to my childhood home, it was after midnight. I parked several driveways down from the one with my father’s marked squad car in it, locked all my car doors and reclined my seat, hoping to get some sleep before seeing him for the first time in more than four years.
The sound of a car engine woke me up. I pulled the coat I’d covered myself with off of my face and squinted from the bright sunlight.
Sitting up, I ran a hand down my face and glanced out the window at the neighborhood I’d grown up in. Not much had changed.
It was Saturday, which I hoped meant my dad was off work. I checked the driveway in my rearview mirror and saw the squad car. A jolt of nervous anticipation hit.
Chloe had done it, and I could, too. I started my car and drove to the house, parking in front. Seeing the brick front steps where my mom had taken my picture on the first day of school every year brought on a sharp pang of longing for her.
I got out and approached the front door, taking a steadying breath before raising my hand and knocking.
A woman with long blonde hair opened the door. She wore a pink fuzzy bathrobe and carried a mug of coffee.
“Can I help you?” she asked, smiling.
“Is Brad here?” I cleared my throat, trying to process what I was seeing. Apparently Dad had moved on with this woman.
“Babe,” she called behind her. “Someone here for you.” She turned back to me. “Would you like to come in?”
I nodded and stepped into the living room. With new furniture, it didn’t look like the house I’d grown up in. Pictures of a girl and a boy on one wall made my skin prickle nervously.
“Ivy?”
Dad stood in the doorway.
“Ivy?” The woman turned to me. “I’m so sorry. I should have . . . Come in, please. I’m Beth. It’s so great to finally meet you.”
I ignored her, my eyes locked with my dad’s. His hair was grayer at the temples and he looked about ten pounds heavier. But otherwise, he looked the same as I remembered. Thanks to the nightmares, I was sure I’d never forget his face.
“Beth,” he said, “can you—”
I interrupted before he could finish. “Who are the kids?” I nodded to the school pictures on the wall.
“They’re mine,” Beth said. “Ben and Cara.”
“How old are they?”
She looked at me, apparently uncomfortable with my cold tone. “Um . . . eight and eleven.”
I narrowed my eyes at my father. “And they live here? Those kids live here?”
&n
bsp; After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, Beth spoke. “I’ll leave you two to talk.”
“No, you need to stay,” I said, breaking away from my father’s gaze to look at her. “Do your children live here?”
“They visit their father every other weekend. That’s where they are now, actually, but they’re with us the rest of the time.”
I shook my head, anger welling inside me so strong it was all I could do not to cross the room and physically attack my father.
“How?” I asked bitterly. “How could you?”
He sighed and looked down. “Ivy, I needed to move on. I loved your mother—”
“Oh, I couldn’t care less about that. I mean the kids. Does she know?”
His expression hardened. “Don’t do this, Ivy.”
“Know what?” Beth said, looking at him.
“I need to talk to my daughter alone,” he said firmly.
Beth started to walk away.
“No. You need to say,” I said, my voice thick with emotion.
I looked at my dad again. “Either you tell her, or I will. Right now.”
His expression twisted with disgust.
“Tell me what?” Beth said again, crossing her arms over her chest. “What’s going on, Brad?”
“Ivy’s got some issues,” he said, transforming from pissed off to sympathetic in an instant. “She kind of lost it when her mother died.”
“Are you kidding me?” I cried, angry tears welling in my eyes. “More like I kind of lost it when you raped me.”
Beth stumbled and pressed a hand against the wall for support.
“You can’t trust what she says,” my father said, approaching her. “She doesn’t know what she’s saying.”
Rage ran hot through my veins. I didn’t want to be capable of hatred, but he was testing my capacity.
“You’re disgusting,” I spat at him. “Not just for doing it, but for lying. Own it, Dad. You felt pretty big and bad that night, didn’t you?”
There was contempt in his eyes when he looked at me. “What is it that you want, exactly, Ivy?”
“I came here to tell you that the part of me I thought you ruined is actually going to be okay. I won’t spend one more day feeling different or disgusting. You’re the disgusting one. And thank God I needed to say that. Otherwise, who’d have warned Beth who she and her children are living with?”
Dad turned to me and roared, “I am not a monster!”
“You are to me. You would be to my mother if she was still alive.”
“How dare you . . .” He took a couple steps toward me and I forced my feet to stay in place.
“Brad,” Beth said in a tiny voice. She looked like she’d had the wind knocked out of her. “Is this true?”
“No.”
I scoffed at his emphatic denial and looked across the room at Beth. “He’s lying. Your children aren’t safe here.”
“You know me, Beth,” Dad said. “You know I’m not capable of such a thing.”
Her expression softened.
“You don’t have to take anyone’s word for it,” I said, my eyes leveled on my father. “A simple DNA test of my son will prove it.”
Silence hung in the room until Beth’s sob cut through the air.
“I don’t know why you hate me so much,” my dad said, sounding defeated. “All I ever wanted was to move on.”
“Other than the fact that you raped me? How about the fact that my son will one day be horrified to find out who his biological father is? Or the fact that I still have nightmares about that night? Maybe the emotionally-crippled state it left me in? I have so many reasons to hate you, Dad, but you’re just not worth it.”
He sighed deeply and I noticed the lines on his face for the first time.
“You’ve taken what little I had, Ivy,” he said sadly. “Anything else?”
“Yes. You either resign from your job in the next forty-eight hours or I’m seeking sexual assault charges against you.”
His eyes darkened with anger. “You want to see me ruined, is that it? Want to make sure I’ve got nothing left?”
“You’ve got no right being in a position of authority.” I walked to the door, putting my hand on it before turning back to him. “Resign or don’t. It doesn’t really matter because I need to move forward with charges anyway and you’ll lose your job when you get convicted. If I don’t do it, you might find another woman with kids.”
“I’m not a sicko,” he said, his voice tight with anger. “I was blackout drunk that night. It was a horrible mistake that I regret.”
“And you’ll have to live with the consequences,” I said. “I’m done being too ashamed to admit what happened out loud.”
I glanced at Beth one more time. She sat against the wall, her legs pulled up to her chest, her face blank with shock.
I didn’t say goodbye. I just walked out the door knowing I’d never walk back through it. It wasn’t home anymore, anyway. Everyone I loved was in Lovely, and I smiled as I thought about how proud every one of them would be if they could see me now.
AS I SPENT THE rest of my Saturday driving home, there was only one place I wanted to go. I needed to see Reed and ask him to forgive me. I craved the comfort of his strong arms, though I wondered if he’d open them to me after the way I’d behaved.
I hadn’t treated him like a man I loved and trusted. He’s treasured me, and I’d turned my back on him.
By the time I pulled in to a parking place behind his building, the sun had set. I took a deep breath and stepped out of my car. His truck was here, so I knew he was inside.
I climbed the outside steps to the second floor and knocked. When he opened the door, I resisted the urge to throw myself against him. He wore a navy t-shirt and jeans, his feet bare.
“Ivy,” he said. “Come in.” He stepped aside and I went in.
“Hi.”
“Are you okay?”
“Reed . . . I miss you and I need you. I’ve been such an ass. I’m sorry. Can you forgive me?”
He pushed the door closed in a swift motion and reached for me, pulling my feet from the floor as he held me tight.
“Yes. I’ve missed you so much it hurts.”
He set me down and kissed me. My body responded to his in an instant, my curves molding against him as I parted my lips and moaned as his tongue found mine.
“Hold on,” I said, pressing my palms against his chest. “I need to tell you something.”
He looked down at me, his hands resting on my hips.
“This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But I have to. I want you to see all of me.”
“What is it, Beauty?”
I swallowed hard, hormones still raging through my body. Stepping back from him, I took a deep breath. “I went to Michigan to confront the man who raped me.”
Reed’s eyes widened. “Ivy, are you nuts? You went alone?”
I nodded, putting a hand up to quiet him. “Please don’t say anything. Let me get this out. It’s not what you think.”
He took a deep breath, visibly trying to calm himself. “I’m sorry. Go ahead.”
A sick taste rose in my throat and I swallowed it. “The man I went to confront . . . who raped me . . . and fathered Noah, is my father.”
It wasn’t just my voice, but my entire body, that shook as I made the admission. Reed just stared at me, his expression frozen in shock.
“Your . . . father?” he finally said. “He’s the one who raped you?”
After a single nod, all the pent-up worry of the past few months came pouring out. “I didn’t want anyone to know. Not just for me, but for Noah, too. I don’t want people thinking he’s some kind of freak. I wanted to tell you, I did . . . and I should have, before we slept together, because—”
“No.” He rested his hands on my shoulders. “Ivy, no. You never had to tell me. I’m glad you did, though.”
I took a deep breath, gathering my courage. “I was a virgin when it happened.”
“Holy shit.” His eyes widened. “One man. You told me there’d only been one and . . . God, I’m so sorry. And then there was no one after . . . until . . .”
“Until you.”
His face was pained as he ran a hand through his hair and looked up at the ceiling. “It means a lot to me that you trust me with this. But it doesn’t change anything between us. I love you with no strings attached.”
I blinked and tears poured down both my cheeks. “You still love me?”
“Of course I do. More than ever. I knew you were a survivor, but . . .” He ran a hand through his hair again, “I had no idea, Ivy. How you could be so strong after something like that . . .”
“I’m not strong, though.” I grabbed his forearms and held on. “It’s been this pressure inside of me that just built and built. And the trial—”
Reed closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against mine. “I’m sorry. That must’ve been so damn hard for you.”
“It was at first. I know how irrational I was, Reed, but in my messed-up mind it was like you were standing up for my father. And that was wrong.”
“Anyone would’ve had trouble coping with that, Beauty. Did you have anyone to talk to about it?”
I shook my head. “I didn’t want anyone to know. I think my friend April suspects, but she’s never pushed me to talk about it. I went to a counselor when I first moved to Lovely, but when it came time to talk about it . . . I couldn’t. I want to go see her again.”
“Good.” Reed pulled back and met my eyes. “Listen to me. I love you, and nothing will change that.”
“Does it bother you that Noah’s father is—”
He cut in. “No. It . . . honestly, Ivy it just . . . makes me want to adopt him even more than I already did.”
“Noah?” More tears slipped from my eyes. “You want to adopt him?”
“I was hoping to when we . . . but then you . . .”
“You mean . . .” My mouth dropped open. “Really?”
“Yes.”
I threw my arms around his neck and he picked me up. My legs instinctively wrapped around his waist. He kissed me, hard and deep. I kissed him back with the same hunger, biting at his lower lip as he walked us over to his open breakfast bar and backed me against the counter.
[Lockhart Brothers 01.0] Deep Down Page 18