“Our mother is not home, so you will have to return another time.”
“Christopher, who are you speaking to?”
The familiar voice was delicate, yet firm. Her brown eyes widened in surprise as she met my gaze. Lady Charlotte’s hand went to her hair as she tried to smooth down the dark brown strands that had fallen into her eyes and down to her shoulders. Light from the sun created a soft glow around her frame. She was more beautiful than I remembered and it took me a minute to remember what it was that I was doing there. Why was I so pulled to her? I still did not understand it, but it did not really matter. All that mattered was that I had found her.
“Lord Vaccos.”
The formal address took me aback. It was obvious she had enquired about me, or she would have not known my title. How I wished that we were at a ball, so I could hold her hand once more as we danced. My mind snapped back to reality.
“How are you this fine day, Lady Charlotte?”
“I am well, thank you.”
Her young brother interrupted. “Who is he, Charlotte? I do believe an introduction is in order.”
“Of course,” she beamed at her brother. Her affection for her sibling was quite obvious. “Lord Vaccos, may in introduce you to my brother, Lord Granston.”
Silence followed. I waited for an invitation to come inside, but the invitation did not come. Maybe it was because there was a lack of a suitable chaperone, and Lady Charlotte didn’t want to jeopardize her reputation.
Finally, Lady Charlotte spoke. “Why have you come to visit, Lord Vaccos?”
The question caught me off guard. Although it was quite obvious why I had called upon Lady Charlotte, it was possible that her only interest in me was to save her from Lord Tomline the prior evening. Excuses for visiting her began to flood my mind, such as business I had near her home. The truth won out. I do not know what it was about her, but I did not want to start out with a falsehood, though in a way, we already had.
“I wanted to see you again, Lady Charlotte. You left the party earlier than I had anticipated. I was not able to ask you about calling on you in the future.”
A smirk spread across her lips, as that was exactly what I was doing at that very moment. I apparently had not needed permission or an answer after all, and I tried to look chastised enough for it.
“Well I see you have found your way here without any trouble.”
I had a little trouble, but it was worth it to look into her chocolate brown eyes and see that sweet smile again. The sunlight revealed a few freckles across the expanse of her nose and small lines that suggested that she smiled often. I liked that and it made me want to smile as well. She was breathtaking.
“I would like to invite you for a walk. Would your brother like to accompany us as well?”
It was the proper thing to do, but I wanted time alone with her. A mix of emotions played across her face and I didn’t know which one was going be victorious. Charlotte wanted to say yes, but something was holding her back.
“Christopher is not feeling well, so I am afraid I cannot join you alone.”
I did not wish to tarnish her reputation. The possibility of her being unavailable was a risk that I took when calling on her, but hearing her refuse the invitation was unexpected. Not many people had ever told me no. Unwilling to give up, I tried one more time.
“I am sure he will be a fine walking companion. I have heard it said that fresh air does a world of good for ailments.”
“Charlotte, I am happy to join you on your walk,” answered her brother. I was beginning to like that young chap.
Lady Charlotte finally gave me a reluctant yes, and though I should have been bothered by the way she had agreed, I was only thinking about her affirmative answer. It was all I needed to hear.
Chapter 3: Charlotte
Christopher entertained Lord Vaccos while I changed my dress and fetched my umbrella for shade. I quietly gave Christopher instructions to keep Lord Vaccos waiting outdoors. The lack of furnishings in my home was embarrassing. My mother had started selling off things of value as the money ran out. It was the only way we were surviving. Thankfully, Uncle Charles was helping get the estate back in order. It would be a long while before we were out of debt though.
The lack of servants was something Lord Vaccos must have noticed. I would not have blamed him if he had already left. Deciding to put my worries aside, I took a deep breath and prepared myself to face Lord Vaccos.
When I stepped through the large oak door, Lord Vaccos was still outside, waiting patiently.
“Ah, you are ready. Your brother and I have been having a lively chat.”
The smile on Christopher’s face conveyed that he was enjoying the conversation, too.
“Shall we?” asked Lord Vaccos, offering his arm.
The day was beautiful, perfect for what we had planned. Before long I forgot about the nerves that knotted my stomach and I began to relax. Christopher walked about ten paces behind us, to give us privacy. I would have to remember to thank him later.
“Why are you really here, Lord Vaccos?”
He seemed surprised that I questioned his motives. Although I had been trained from a young age to act properly, avoid personal questions, and to never display awkward behavior, I could not help myself.
“I told you that I wanted to see you, Lady Charlotte. I wanted to get to know you because you have been on my mind since our dance.”
I felt my face getting red as I was not prepared for that answer. Though it made me feel good, and I loved the way it sounded, there was still a part of me that did not know if he was telling the truth or not. Was he like Lord Tomline?
“I am sorry about the dance. I was trying to dissuade another and I should not have approached you like that. It was rather wrong of me to do so, and I apologize. I am extremely grateful that nobody else saw my behavior. You were so gracious.”
He shook his head and waved me off like it was nothing. It did not feel like nothing, but it was clear that he did not want to talk about it in that way.
“If you would not have done that, then we would have never met. I would rather assume our peculiar way of meeting was meant to be.”
I snuck a look up at him to make sure that his expression aligned with his words. It did, and the burning look in his emerald eyes made me look away before I was caught in his trance. I did not want to think about the few moments that pushed us together. I did not know if it was supposed to happen, but at the same time, I felt like I owed him for helping me. Lord Tomline’s aggressive advances were scandalous. I do not know what would have happened if Lord Vaccos had not shown up. My body trembled with the idea of it.
“Are you quite well, Lady Charlotte?”
I nodded and tried to pretend like I was not shaking inside with the memory. I hated that I felt so afraid of the earl, but I did.
“Yes, thank you. The sun is warm, but the wind is just too strong. I am just a little cold.”
Lord Vaccos took off his jacket and draped it over my shoulders. Christopher cleared his throat, reminding me that we were not alone. The gentle nature Lord Vaccos displayed was so different from Lord Tomline. There was no tension and I felt at complete ease in his presence.
“Christmas is only two months away. It is quite wonderful that we are still having days as warm as these,” Lord Vaccos said.
Christmas was once my favorite time of year, but ever since Papa died, there was not much cheer. Mama tried to make Christmas a grand celebration, as it had been when Papa was alive, but it was not the same. As a family, we agreed to forgo the celebrations since Papa died, and we had many debts. This was not news I was ready to share with Lord Vaccos though, as I did not want him to think of me as a pessimist.
“I think it is time we head back,” suggested Christopher.
Although I did not want my time with Lord Vaccos to end, I did not want to seem too eager.
“I think you are right, Christopher.”
Upon returning home, Chris
topher kept his distance as I said goodbye to Lord Vaccos.
“Thank you for the lovely stroll. I have a feeling it will not be long before outdoor walks will be a thing of the past for the year.”
“It was my pleasure. May I come back tomorrow and see you again?”
I nodded and smiled, but tried not to feel so happy about it. Once he learned about my destitute situation, he would not be as interested in calling on me. But, oh, how I longed to learn more about him. The handsome gentlemen with jade-colored eyes had awakened all my senses.
Everything considered, I still said yes. “I would like that very much, Lord Vaccos.”
Chapter 4: Charlotte
November 1845
The weather continued to get colder as the weeks passed. As promised, Lord Vaccos visited and continued to visit regularly. Getting over my embarrassment, I finally invited him indoors. The way he did not seem to notice the lack of furnishings was a true testament to his genteel nature.
Joy was a feeling that disappeared from our home, along with Papa, but Lord Vaccos seemed to bring it back. My mother was charmed by his devotion to visiting me. Lord Vaccos joined us at church, and when the weather kept us indoors, he read to me or we played cards. Every time he visited, the ambiance of my home would change.
As the sun rose, I looked forward to another day with Lord Vaccos and prepared some scones to enjoy with tea. He had once shared that scones with raisins were his favorite, so I prepared them while anticipating his visit.
While I waited for verbal reassurances that he cared about me, we never talked about the future. Our visits were very much about living in the moment. My mother began to question his intentions, but I brushed off her questions as being ridiculous.
The knock on the door alerted me to his arrival. I smoothed my skirt and pinched my cheeks for some added color. Looking down, I realized I was still wearing and apron covered in flour. I quickly removed the apron and headed for the door.
A smile spread across my lips to greet Lord Vaccos, but my face fell when Lord Tomline greeted me with a bow. I took a step back when his dark eyes fell on me.
“Lady Charlotte, how fortuitous that you are the one to welcome me. Where is your butler?”
He looked around the house and back at the overgrown yard. His facial expression gave away his disapproval. Unlike Lord Vaccos, Lord Tomline did not demonstrate the courtesy of ignoring my obvious financial difficulties. He kept his hands at his sides, as if he was afraid to sully himself if he touched anything. His presence made me uncomfortable for many reasons. How I wished Papa had been there to turn Lord Tomline away.
“Are your home alone?” asked Lord Tomline.
“Yes, which is why I must ask you leave. My mother would be quite upset if I were here alone with you.” I lied. Christopher was in his room.
“Well, your Uncle has given me permission to speak to you in private. It seems as if you are in quite the predicament.”
“A predicament?”
“Yes, your uncle has alerted me that your family is nearly bankrupt. He wishes you to be married immediately to someone of good social standing, and I am here to fulfill that request. You are quite lucky that your uncle is the Marquess of Lissenton. For without such meaningful familial ties, who knows where you would end up.”
The words were so vulgar. My family’s financial problems were no concern of his. Uncle Charles was helping to sell some of my brother’s inherited land. The money would help get my family’s affairs in order and restore our wealth with the right investments.
“I do not think that my future is quite so dire, my lord, but I thank you for your concern.”
I did not know what else to say. I knew that my mouth was agape with his forwardness and his words, but I could not close it. It was unladylike, but it did not matter.
I was outraged and my blood was boiling. His audacity in discussing finances was upsetting, but for him to present himself as my only choice was even worse. He hid behind the pretense of being concerned for my welfare, but I believed that to be a falsehood.
He moved towards me, and I backed away to remain at arm’s length. He was not here to make me feel better. Lord Tomline did not care how difficult those past few years had been. He wanted something else, much like what he had wanted that night on the balcony. Taking another step back, I moved the door in front of me a little and he finally stopped.
“You think that Lord Vaccos is going to ask you to marry him then?” said Lord Tomline, with a cruel laugh.
I was taken aback by Lord Vaccos’s name on the earl’s thin lips. Lord Tomline’s dark eyes looked at me in such a way and I took a deep breath. He wanted to see my reaction.
“My relationship with Lord Vaccos has nothing to do with you, Lord Tomline. But if you must know, he comes and visits my family on occasion.”
Lord Tomline gave me a grin that was not meant to show his pleasure. It was meant to scare me, and so help me, it did scare me quite a bit. How did he know?
“It is the talk around London, my lady. Imagine my surprise when I found out that he has been coming to see you almost every day. You know that there have been whispers that he comes here when you are without a chaperone.”
If his words were true, my reputation was ruined. Even though we had not been alone without a chaperone, it did not matter. Once rumors started, there was very little chance of coming back from them. The gossip paired with my family’s financial troubles would surely secure my future as a spinster.
Lord Vaccos’s visits crossed the lines of proper code of conduct, but in the moment, it didn’t seem to matter. After all, we did not have servants anymore to spread gossip, so I assumed nobody even knew of his visits. All I knew was that he had brought happiness to our home. My entire family’s spirits had been lifted by his presence.
“It is not as it would appear, and I thank you again for the concern that you have shown me. I do not know what my uncle has said to you, but I assure you that I am not worried about my future.”
“I am asking for your hand in marriage, Lady Charlotte. I have come here for your answer. That is the sole reason for my visit.”
There was no talk of love, nothing that made me want to marry him. All the man could manage was a reminder of my circumstances and the realization that he may well be the best choice I had. What if Lord Vaccos had no intention of marrying me? Even though Mama was fond of Lord Vaccos, she had mentioned on several occasions that he should make his intentions known after so many visits. Not only was my family now in dire straits, but apparently, my name had been sullied with talks in the city. I was feeling the room closing in around me and the man’s smiling face was doing nothing to help it.
“Why do you wish to marry me, my lord? I have no dowry and we have never spoken of love.”
“It is the chase, my dear. You have never wanted me, which is why I must have you.”
“Thank you for your proposal, Lord Tomline, but—”
I could not finish the sentence as I was fighting back tears that threatened to fall down my face. What if he was right about it all? What if Lord Vaccos never planned on proposing? Why would he marry me when there were so many other choices? I did not know the true reason why he came to visit nearly every day. I started to question my future.
“What of my answer, Lady Charlotte?”
I could not give one and I told him as much. The joy I harbored from thoughts of Lord Vaccos had dissipated. I finally asked Lord Tomline to leave, and told him that I was unwell and needed rest. I locked the door behind me as I did not know if Lord Tomline had any respectable boundaries. Sighing as I leaned against the wall, I finally let the tears fall.
My nose detected the faint whiff of burning bread and it seemed to be the omen for the day. How could everything have changed so quickly, so much doubt was sown in such a short amount of time. My confidence had faded and I felt utterly alone and desperate.
I heard the knock on the door a while later and I stopped Christopher from answering
it. I could not face Lord Vaccos. Christopher’s questions started coming, but I could only answer by putting a finger to my lips to ask him to be quiet.
I could no longer live in my fantasy world and wish to marry for love. Lord Vaccos had not proposed, and I had no way of knowing if he ever would. I had to choose to survive in a world that was not kind to women.
Chapter 5: Joseph
I stood at her door for some time, but no one came to it. I checked the knob to make sure that everything was alright, but then I stopped. The door was locked and there were no sounds coming from inside. Surely Lady Charlotte knew that I was planning to call on her. I waited for a time to see if they had gone for a short walk to the neighbors’ house, but the snow on the ground revealed horses’ tracks and one set of footprints. Somebody should have been home, but nobody answered the door. Where had they gone?
Going back to London, I was unusually sad, and figured it was because I had not seen Charlotte. A feeling of dread came over me. A gut feeling warned me of something amiss. I was afraid that I had lost her or something had happened to her.
Spotting Lord Richardson on the road with his wife and another female companion, I stopped and opened the carriage door to greet the couple and their acquaintance. I always had a pang in my heart for Lady Richardson. After all, her husband’s affairs were no secret, but she always put on a facade that all was well her world.
After a brief introduction to Lady Richardson’s sister, who was the other female companion, Lord Richardson moved the conversation forward. “Why Vaccos, what are you doing in London? I thought you would be calling upon Lady Charlotte. It is where you always seem to be these days.”
My face did not show the humor of his comment. I had not talked to him since the night of the party, and had only seen him once from afar. While I did not agree with his brazen lifestyle, there was something undeniable about the amount of information that he was privy to. His ear was always down to the ground and I hoped that he would help me.
“Lady Richardson, would you mind if I spoke to your husband alone for a brief moment? I have an important business matter that warrants his attention.”
Christmas Wishes: The Love of a Marquess Page 2