“I know. She didn’t make it easy for you to know. But still, you hurt her. She’s gone off to find some peace. Away from you and your female. I’m not going to ask her back to hurt her all over again.”
“I’m not going to hurt her again,” Murder said quietly, looking at Terrus with eyes filled with pain and sincerity. “I know who she is now. What I don’t understand is how I never knew it before.”
Terrus regarded Murder, then, without changing his expression, he asked the one question that drove everything home. “Do you still have a female at home?”
Murder’s expression dropped. It was apparent it hadn’t occurred to him before. He’d been so intent on searching for Lucitari once he realized his mistake, he’d not thought of Phrygia and her presence in his home. “Yes,” he answered simply.
“Do you plan on keeping her for backup in the event Lucitari won’t have you now?” Terrus asked, one eyebrow raised in question.
“No! No, I do not!” Murder answered indignantly. “If Lucitari won’t have me, I’ll hound her forever, or at least until she reconsiders and gives me a chance, and then that will be the only chance I’ll need.”
“And?” Terrus asked expectantly.
“I can’t just put Phrygia out. I brought her back from Hell. She’s dependent on me. I’ll find her another place to live. I will explain about Lucitari. I’ll fix everything. Just take me to Lucitari, please, Terrus.”
Terrus sat there, reclining on the low curve of the dragon tree. Slowly he began to shake his head. “I can’t do that. I'm not sure where she is. And even so, you’ve done nothing to prepare your life for her. If she came back, it would be just as it was when she left.”
Murder stood in place, looking at Terrus, wanting to rage at the male, but knowing that Terrus was not responsible for any of this.
“I didn’t do this on purpose. I didn’t know,” Murder insisted. “I genuinely thought Phrygia was mine. It only took a day or two of being free, and the mannerisms, the scent, the presence of soul that called to me faded away. Even her eyes were no longer blue. The moment I saw Lucitari at the party I knew. The pull I’d felt with Phrygia was there, only a hundred times stronger. And the eyes I’ve seen in my dreams all my life. The eyes, they’re Lucitari’s. I’ve seen Lucitari before, been around her, and I never knew. Yet she acted as though I should have. I was so confused, and so angry that I’d been led to believe that a female was mine that wasn’t. And then I realized, she’s an ancient, like Lore, like you. Maybe they hid it because I’m just a gargoyle. It hurt me. I said hurtful things. I even accused Lore of knowing and keeping it from me. For all I know he may have.”
“It really wasn’t very fair to you. I know that. If it’s any comfort at all, it was done ages ago, before you even existed. She made an impulsive decision to help an innocent survive an unjust punishment. She never dreamed she’d have a mate, or need that piece of herself she’d given away. In fact, she saw having a mate as a weakness that could be used against her.”
“That piece of her is why I was drawn to Phrygia, isn’t it? It was never Phrygia, it was Lucitari.”
Terrus nodded. “Yes. Phrygia housed Lucitari’s soul. That is why you were drawn to Phrygia.”
Murder closed his eyes, shaking his head in disbelief. “And you’ve known, all this time you’ve known? And Lore, too.”
“No, Lore didn’t know. And me, not all this time, but time enough.”
“Was she angry when I went after Phrygia?” Murder asked.
“No. She wished you both happiness. But once you got back, she found she wasn’t as strong as she’d thought she was. She couldn’t bear witness to it. Then after seeing you yesterday she was raw with emotion. She didn’t think, she just ran.”
“I need her,” Murder said, his voice cracking with the strain and fatigue he felt.
“But do you want her?” Terrus countered, before he shimmered and faded from view, his mists dissipating as the place he sat became empty.
“I do. I do!” Murder shouted.
<<<<<<<>>>>>>>
Lore and Lily wandered the white haze of purgatory for so long he felt he’d seen every inch of it at least twice. But, they found no trace of Lucitari. “Luci!” he called out into the endless haze. “Luci! Can you hear me? Lily needs you! Murder needs you! Wake up, Luci!” he shouted as loud as he could. They stood perfectly still, waiting for any movement, any sound, anything at all to give any indication of where Lucitari slumbered. But there was nothing.
“Aunt Luci!” Lily yelled, gripping Lore’s hand tightly. “You promised you’d come when I needed you!” she screamed.
Lore snarled his impatience. Lucitari should have never come here. She knew well that any who stayed here too long became lost to the nothingness. They actually became part of the emptiness that drifted about in a never ending haze.
He looked down at Lily. He had no idea how long they’d actually been gone. It could have been days back in Whispers. “I have to get you home, Lily. I have no idea how long we’ve been gone. Let’s go home, and see if you can find her the way you did before. Then we’ll decide what to do next.”
“I don’t want to go home without her,” Lily said.
“Neither do I, but I have to think of you, too. Let’s get you home and then decide what to do,” Lore said.
He stood there, nothing but haze as far as he could see, gripping Lily’s hand in his. “I am coming back for you! Do you hear me, Lucitari? I’m coming, and I’m not leaving until I find you!”
<<<<<<<>>>>>>>
Lore and Lily appeared in the middle of Carnage’s home. “Momma? Papa?” she called.
Carolena and Carnage both came running down the hallway, “Lily!” Carolena called out. She pulled Lily into her arms and hugged her tight, and Carnage pulled them both into his arms and kissed Lily over Carolena’s shoulder.
“I’m sorry it took so long. We weren’t able to find her,” Lore said.
“It was only over night, Lore. We’ve been awake waiting, but it wasn’t that long. What are you going to do?” Carolena asked.
Lore shook his head. “I don’t know. Keep looking. I can’t just stop searching.”
Lily wiggled until her mother put her down. She looked up at Lore. “I can try to find her again, from my room, with just my heart,” she offered.
“Would you mind?” Lore asked Carnage and Carolena.
“Not at all,” Carolena answered, worried about Lucitari herself.
“Let’s do exactly what you did when you went there the first time, and hopefully you can find her again,” Lore suggested.
“Okay.”
Together they went to Lily’s room. She sat on the edge of her bed just as she had the day before. She closed her eyes and opened her heart. Only moments later she found herself in the ‘white’. She called and called for Lucitari, but she didn’t answer. Lily felt for Luci with her heart, but she didn’t feel her this time. Sadly, she went back to body, back to her room. She opened her eyes and looked tearfully at Lore. “I didn’t find her.”
Lore was crestfallen, he’d hoped that Lily could find her and then call to him from there. But she’d not been able to.
“It’s not your fault, Lily. I’ll just have to keep looking,” he said getting to his feet.
“I’m sorry I can’t feel her heart anymore. I think she locked it away so we can’t find her,” Lily said sadly.
Lore paused, his thoughts beginning to fly. “Wait, what did you say?” Lore asked.
“I said I can’t feel her heart this time. That’s how I found her last time. I felt her heart.”
Lore smiled. “A mate can feel their mate’s heart at any time. I’m going to find Murder. He’ll lead me to Lucitari!”
“Please hurry!” Lily begged, smiling through her tears at Lore.
<<<<<<<>>>>>>>
Lore misted to the front of Murder’s home. After their confrontation yesterday, and the fact that he was angry with Murder for not telling him that Lucitari
was his mate, he didn’t want to mist right into Murder’s home. It was just after sunrise. He started with a knock. When it went unanswered, he gradually built up to a pounding. Still there was no answer. “Murder! You cannot hide from me. Open this damned door! It’s an emergency!”
When still the door didn’t open, and no one answered his call, he decided he’d had enough of being polite. He misted directly into Murder’s living room — and was promptly attacked.
Phrygia stood perfectly still in the living room of Murder’s home. She stood against the wall peering down the hallway, hoping that whoever was pounding on the door would go away. She held a heavy broomstick in her hands — the broom still attached to it near where she gripped it, waiting, hoping the very impatient visitor would just give up and go away.
Then the visitor started yelling, calling out to Murder — and she knew exactly who was outside trying to get in. It was Lore. But she didn’t want him inside either. She’d been alone since Murder had rushed off. But the worst of it was that she was near tears. Her chest hurt, her heart hurt and she felt completely lost. She’d thought she’d felt alone and lost when Murder had been taken from Hell and she stayed behind, but no. This pain was all consuming. This pain was what happened when one found their mate and then were separated from them, even if they hadn’t bonded yet. This pain was so much more than the discomfort she’d felt when Murder had been taken from Hell. She choked back a sob as she pictured her mate, wondering if they’d ever have a chance to be together.
Then the mists, deep purple and silver began swirling in the center of the living room.
“Oh, no you do not,” she whispered, approaching the mists as they began to take shape, her broomstick held high above her head. She was no weakling. She’d served in the Dark One’s forces. She was not going to just stand by and allow a male, not even an ancient one, to make himself at home in the home she was sheltering in.
As his shape began to firm, Phrygia lifted the broom just a bit higher and brought it down as hard as she could on Lore’s head and shoulders with a battle cry.
Lore shrieked and covered his head while trying to spin to see where the attack came from as again and again a staff was brought down on him.
“Go away! I did not say you could come in here!” Phrygia screamed at Lore.
“Stop hitting me, woman!” Lore shrieked back at her.
“Get out!” Phrygia screamed again.
Lore misted away from her reach and took up a place near the back door across the room. “What is wrong with you, female?” Lore demanded, still straightening his clothes and shaking out his hair, while also feeling around his head to make sure there was no serious injury.
“What is wrong with YOU? A closed door that is not answered does not mean just let yourself in. Get out! Now!” Phrygia demanded.
“I will not! This home belongs to Murder, my brother of the heart. I am welcome here! Or I was,” Lore added thoughtfully.
“Maybe when he’s here, but he’s not, so get out!” Phrygia ordered, rushing Lore with her broomstick again.
Lore misted from his place near the back door and appeared right behind her, snatching the broomstick from her hands before she even realized what was happening.
“Give me back my broom!” Phrygia insisted.
“Learn the proper use for one and I may!” Lore snapped at her, tossing the broom over his shoulder toward the kitchen.
Phrygia started to go after the broom, and Lore stepped in front of her. “You touch that broom again and I’ll lock you outside this house until I’m able to speak with Murder, you stubborn female!” Lore snarled.
To Lore’s surprise Phrygia just slipped to her knees right where she was, and dissolved into tears.
Lore watched her for a moment, a look of utter confusion on his face. “What is wrong with you now?” Lore asked, none too patiently. He needed to speak with Murder, not deal with crying females.
“My heart hurts,” she finally got out between sobs.
“Are you sure Murder is not here?” Lore asked, glancing around the living room and kitchen.
She nodded her head.
“Stop the sniveling. I must find Murder!” Lore insisted.
That seemed to get her going. “Sniveling? Sniveling?! What right do you have to complain about my sorrow, when you’ve spent lifetimes sneaking in and out of Hell to visit an angel who didn’t even know you?” Phrygia demanded.
Lore was taken aback. Phrygia was right, and he said as much. “You are correct. I am deeply sorry for my criticisms. I shall in the future take into account all I suffered while trying to free my angel. Deepest apologies,” Lore said, clicking his heels together and performing a little bow. “Now, if you would be so kind, where is Murder?” Lore asked.
“I don’t know. He left here so quickly he didn’t say where he was going. Just like Gaston did two days ago. They both ran away so quickly I had no time to say anything. Then at the party yesterday, Murder became enraged at you and Lucitari and I didn’t get a chance to speak to Gaston then either.”
“Why would you need to speak to Gaston? Why was Gaston here?” Lore asked.
“Because he’s nice to me. And to bring me food.”
“Why? Does Murder not feed you?” Lore pressed.
Phrygia sniffled a little, then looked Lore right in the eye. “Because! Because I think he’s my mate. And all he can do is bring gifts to both Murder and me, because he’s too good a male to try to take me away from Murder, who he considers a friend, because Murder already told all of you that I’m his. But I’m not his! I’m not! I haven’t wanted him since the night we first got back, and even then the pull was weak. I’m not his mate! But I already accepted his claim. And he went all the way to Hell to free me. I can’t turn away from him now, no matter what my heart wants. And it’s not just me! Murder’s just as unsure of what to do with me as I am him. First he was upset several days ago because my eyes are brown, not blue. I insisted they were brown, but he didn’t seem to believe me. Even you should know they’re brown! Then last night when he left here, he was upset because he was worried about the argument with you and with Lucitari! He was in a rush, he said he was going to try to make things right, and when he got back that we’d talk,” Phrygia finished and huffed out a breath, still sitting on the floor with her cheeks wet from her tears, waiting for him to respond as her bottom lip quivered.
Lore stood there, watching the crying female. He’d promised Murder he’d do anything he could to make up his actions of the past to the female. And while he didn’t understand some of what she prattled on about, he did get that she believed that Gaston was her mate, and that she believed that Murder knew they weren’t mates, too.
“If you would be so kind, may I speak a few words,” he asked.
Phrygia waved her arms around, indicating that she couldn’t care less, but didn’t bother to answer him.
“It is my understanding that you believe you are not Murder’s mate. And that you are greatly unhappy because you have found your mate in Gaston. And that both Gaston and Murder left so quickly that you were unable to speak to either about your beliefs.” He paused to see if he was correct so far.
Phrygia nodded and sniffled. “But not together. One left yesterday morning, one left early yesterday evening.”
“Very well,” Lore answered, his mind working trying to remember what it was that she said that he’d wanted to address. “Oh! Your eyes. Forgive me, female, I have no idea what color your eyes have always been.”
“He says that my eyes were dark blue, like the blue mists that shimmered in the night sky around his home. And he said they were calming to him, just like the blue in the sky, but now they are both gone. But my eyes are brown, always have been.”
Lore’s mouth fell open as he began to make sense of all the ridiculousness that had been surrounding Murder and Lucitari the last few days. He replayed occurrences in his mind — Lucitari using her blue mists to protect Carnage and Carolena’s home and the b
lue tint of the night sky as a result, Lucitari leaning over Murder trying to heal him after he’d been rescued and Murder looking up into her face and calling her Phrygia, Lucitari refusing to let anyone other than Danae get physically close to her. Lucitari. It had been Lucitari all along.
“It was Lucitari. Lucitari’s eyes are dark blue. Her mists are dark blue. Lily is right! Lucitari is Murder’s mate, not you! Her eyes are blue.”
“That must be why he was arguing with her yesterday. He must have figured out that it is she that is really his mate,” Phrygia said.
“Do you remember before you were banished?” Lore asked.
Phrygia shrugged. “Some I guess, I try not to. But some of it I still remember.”
“Did Lucitari come to you before Acaelo sent you away?” Lore asked, stepping closer to Phrygia as he spoke.
Phrygia remained on her knees on the floor, looking up at Lore. “I don’t think so,” she said, shaking her head slowly.
“She would have come to you quickly, secretly, before Acaelo had a chance to cast you away,” Lore persisted.
Phrygia sat there, looking at Lore with a blank look on her face. Then, suddenly her eyes widened, and her mouth formed an “O”. “There was an old woman, she was dressed in robes, a shroud over her head and face. She approached me in the room Acaelo had locked me in. She held my hands in hers and whispered to me. I could barely hear her. But then she said that I wouldn’t be alone, and not to be afraid because I was stronger than I thought. Then we heard him coming, bellowing his rage. I turned back to look at her, and there was no one there. I always thought it was just my imagination.”
Lore was smiling. He shook his head. “I have no doubt that it was Lucitari. Somehow she managed to give you a piece of herself. It made your eyes blue, and it protected you all this time. But now that you no longer need it, that part must have found its way back to Lucitari, making your eyes appear as their natural color.”
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