by Rosie Clarke
‘I was asked to work later to finish a report.’
‘It’s time you gave notice and came to work for me – for us. You could work at your own pace, Beth. Once we’re married…’
‘I don’t know how you dare ask me. . You haven’t been near me for ages and I know you’ve been seeing Sylvia Butcher…’ she flung the accusation at him even though she wasn’t sure.
‘She isn’t important, just a little fling. You know I love you, Beth. I want to get married and be together properly…’
‘Dad won’t give us permission yet. Besides, I’m not certain it’s what I want…’ Beth broke off as she saw the flash of anger in Tony’s eyes. ‘I’m sorry, but you haven’t bothered to take me out or visit for ages.’
‘When I come, you’re never there. I had to tell you, Beth. I’ve got my call-up papers and I leave in three weeks….’
‘Oh, Tony, I’m sorry. Do you really have to go – can’t you get out of it somehow?’
‘Why should I? There’s not much for me round here, is there?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘You’ve been seeing someone else, Beth. I saw you get out of his car last night. Your mother said you would be home soon, but it got later and later and then I left to wait by the stop.’
‘If you’d let me know you were coming, I’d have been at home – but you gave me the impression we were over.’
‘I’d almost decided to finish it ages ago,’ he muttered, looking sullen. ‘I came round to sort it out last night – but then I saw you get out of his car…’
He couldn’t have seen her kissing Mark, because they hadn’t kissed outside her house but in a dark spot a few streets away, where she wasn’t likely to be seen and recognised. Besides, Tony had no right to expect her to just sit around waiting for him.
‘Are you going to deny it?’
‘No, I shan’t deny it, Tony. Mark gave me a lift back from the party we went to last night – and he’s asked me out tomorrow.’
Tony grabbed her wrist. ‘I forbid you to go. You’re my girl and I don’t want you messin’ with blokes like that – do you hear me? That sort only wants a girl like you for one thing.’
‘So now I’m a cheap tart am I?’
‘I didn’t mean that – but you should stay where you belong, with blokes like me.’ He tightened his grip on her arm.
‘I don’t belong to you,’ Beth told him coldly. ‘Take your hand off me, Tony. You’re hurting me.’
‘You deserve me to really hurt you…’ he was angrier than she’d ever seen him.
‘If you hit me I shall never speak to you again.’ Beth faced him, angry herself now. ‘I mean what I say. I certainly shan’t marry a bully – and I’m not sure marriage is what I want now. I’ve signed up for a nursing course…’
‘You’re going away?’
‘They haven’t told me yet, but probably. I have to report next week…’
‘You can leave your bloody job when you want, but you wouldn’t do it for me.’
‘I’m not interested in shop work…’
‘You’re an ungrateful bitch, Beth Court. I wanted us to be married and you would have had a home and a living if there’s a war and… I didn’t come back. It was as much for you as me – but I see you’ve had your head turned. Meet your bleedin’ rich bloke. Just don’t come running to me when he leaves you with a bun in the oven…’
‘I shan’t!’ she cried angrily, but as he walked away she felt a crushing pain in her chest. This time he was really angry: this time he wouldn’t come back. ‘Tony, I’m sorry…’ she cried but the words were only a whisper and he didn’t turn his head. Beth felt the tears on her cheeks as she watched him run and catch a bus.
‘Tony, I do love you… I did love you so much,’ she said into the empty street.
Oh, she didn’t know how she felt anymore. She’d loved the man she’d thought Tony was but he seemed to have changed – and now there was Mark Allen…
Chapter 24
‘If you’ve got a minute, Lizzie,’ Mr Oliver said that morning as she was about to take her lunch break. ‘I’d like to talk to you about the future…’
‘Yes, of course, sir…’
‘Come into my office, Lizzie,’ he said, giving her a friendly look ‘I think you should call me Uncle Bertie, at least in private. You’re married to Harry now and part of our family – and Aunt Miriam would like you to come to lunch on Sundays now and then…’
‘That is very kind of her.’ Lizzie followed him into the office and sat in the chair he indicated, waiting expectantly.
‘Well, Lizzie, I’ve been thinking about what I can do to make your work here more rewarding. I’ve been told that you are a treasure and I should take care that you do not run off to the competition…’
‘I wouldn’t do that,’ Lizzie said feeling uneasy. ‘I don’t know what people have been saying…’
‘Compliments, Lizzie, compliments.’ He folded his hands and looked at her over the desk. ‘You suggested once that we should smarten the showroom and perhaps take in passing trade. I explained that I couldn’t afford a girl to be there standing around all day – told Winters the same thing when he rang me with his idea…’
‘His idea?’
‘Yes, but I’d been thinking along the same lines…’ he cleared his throat. ‘I am going to take on a big government contract, Lizzie. I shall put Vera in charge of that and Ed will give her a hand, but he’ll also work with you – but I’m going to smarten that showroom up in readiness for our new bespoke business. I understand that one or two young women want you to make hats for them – special designs that would not be viable as our regular lines…’
‘Bespoke hats?’ Lizzie questioned. ‘You want me to do the same as I did for Miss Hennessy?’
‘Yes, but instead of showing them sketches I want you to make up individual hats that we can show. You can then change colour schemes and trimmings but you’ll know what is feasible and what isn’t – I can’t have you wasting your time, Lizzie. Especially if I’m going to give you another rise…’
‘And this idea came from Mr Winters?’
‘He says he can put special customers our way and we’ll give him a concessionary price – they will be his customers and he will send them to us but guarantee the sale, as he did before.’
Mr Oliver was willing to invest a little in the showroom, give her an increase in her wage and allow her to work on the bespoke hats, but only because Sebastian Winters had guaranteed it. It would mean a chance for Lizzie to show what she could do and the prospect excited her, but she knew that she had Sebastian Winters to thank for her good fortune. He hadn’t been able to get her to leave Oliver’s so now he’d come up with a new suggestion. It meant that his part in Oliver’s investment was key and would bring her into constant contact with him.
‘We can try it,’ she said, a tingle of excitement low in her abdomen. Yet a part of her urged caution. What did Sebastian want in return? ‘But if they are going to be all my designs I want a label in them – Lizzie Larch Hats…’
’Why not Lizzie Oliver?’ he asked.
‘Because it sounds better,’ she said without hesitation and blocked out the thought that she might not always be Lizzie Oliver.
‘Yes, perhaps we should have a label in them, because we’re going to be charging retail prices. I shall leave that side of the business to you, Lizzie – and you’ll be in charge of the normal hats too. I’m going to be overseeing my government contract…’
‘Are you allowed to tell me what it is for?’
‘We’ll be making berets and caps for the armed forces,’ he said. ‘It’s steady work and will bring in good money. I’m not sure how long we’ll be able to continue with our normal stock. We may not get some of the materials we need – silks and some of the feathers come from overseas, and they won’t risk men’s lives bringing them in now. The Germans are bombing anything that moves on the sea with a British flag and men are dying. We shall have to
make do with stuffs we can source locally…’
‘Yes, I do see that,’ Lizzie said, ‘but I need Tilly. You should get another girl to help Vera – you always told me seamstresses were two a penny, but Tilly’s work is outstanding.’
‘You drive a hard bargain. Oh, all right, I dare say I can find someone – though there’s plenty of work in the factories now, and it isn’t easy to get anyone any good.’
‘I’m sure you could pay a little more if you have a good contract…’
Lizzie saw him scowl because he’d been used to paying low wages for long hours. He didn’t like having to agree to Lizzie’s terms, but whatever Sebastian Winters had said to him had made him aware that, if she chose, she had another job waiting for her.
‘Well, as it happens I know someone who might come back to work. She retired a couple of years back, but she’s a widow now and I dare say she might do a few hours a week… Tilly can work for you three days and for me the other two and a half.’
Thank you, Uncle Bertie.’
Lizzie smiled at the concession and knew it was the best she was going to get.
*
If it hadn’t been for the pressure at work, Lizzie wasn’t sure what she would have done with herself, especially after Beth left to start her nursing training. They had supper together the evening before she left and Beth was full of her news.
‘The first few months of my training will be at Addenbrooke’s in Cambridge,’ she told Lizzie, ‘but they will be bringing me back to the Royal London after that. So it looks like I’ll be able to see you more often then…’
‘I shall miss you while you’re away, but it’s good news that you will be coming back in a few months.’
I couldn’t believe my luck when they told me,’ Beth said. ‘So far they’ve only had the casualties from the Merchant Navy to deal with, but they think the hospitals will start to overflow with wounded soon. Apparently, they think I’m the sort that will stay – and they think it’s a good thing to have London girls working locally if they can…’
‘I’m so pleased, and I’ll bet your mum is too…’
‘She’s happy at the moment anyway,’ Beth said. ‘My granny has moved in with her – and Mary is pregnant…’
‘That’s lovely,’ Lizzie said.
They’d enjoyed themselves that evening, but Lizzie began to miss her best friend almost at once. She loved working with Tilly and Ed, and visited Madge at least twice a week, but Beth had been special.
Harry didn’t write to Lizzie even after she wrote to him and explained her absence. One brief postcard came and then, three weeks later, he turned up at the weekend, coming into the stockroom just as she was finishing for the day.
‘Harry, I’ve missed you so much,’ she said and flung herself into his arms. He gave her a brief hug and kissed her, but she felt restraint in him and knew he was angry. ‘What is it?’
‘What did you go to that bloke Winters’ garden party for?’
‘I didn’t know you were coming home, Harry.’
‘That isn’t the point. He was after you before we married. You’re my wife now.’
‘Oh, Harry. Please don’t be jealous. He invited Beth and me and she thought it would be a chance to show off my hats. A lot of women admired them, especially the hat Beth wore. I hardly spoke to Mr Winters…’
‘I don’t want you going out with other men while I’m away…’
‘That’s a horrid thing to say.’ Tears stung her eyes. ‘I’m not like that – I wouldn’t let you down, Harry. I only went because Beth wanted to…’
Lizzie moved away from him, turning her back to hide her distress. Then she felt his arms go about her and his face was pressed against her hair, his lips moving on her cheek as she turned towards him.
‘Forgive me, I’m a brute,’ he said. ‘I didn’t mean to make you cry but I was worried when you weren’t there – and then when your letter said… I was so jealous. I know Winters wants you, Lizzie. I’ve heard him talking to my uncle about how talented you are…’
‘He just sees me as a milliner – the one that got away,’ Lizzie said and lifted her face for his kiss. ‘If I’d wanted, I could have taken his job ages ago, but I didn’t trust him, Harry. I love you…’
‘I’m a damned fool,’ he said, ‘but some of the chaps talk about their wives or girlfriends having it off with other men while they’re away, and once I get posted it may be ages before I see you, Lizzie…’
‘Don’t,’ she begged. ‘I can’t bear to think of you far away from me. It was long enough this time.’
‘I’m lucky I’m still getting leave. Some of the men are being transferred to secret bases and they aren’t even allowed to go home or tell anyone. Once the war really starts…’
‘I keep hoping it won’t,’ Lizzie said, sniffing and rubbing at her eyes with the hanky he offered. ‘The papers seem to say one thing one day and something else the next. Everyone says it’s never going to happen…’
‘That’s how much they know,’ Harry said. ‘Our boys are flying on missions I can’t tell you about – and they’re damned dangerous. We’ve lost a few pilots already. It won’t be long before it starts in earnest, believe me.’
‘Oh, Harry…’ Talk of pilots being killed frightened her. ‘Do you think Germany will invade us?’
‘It’s our job to stop them,’ he said grimly. ‘We’ve got the Channel between us, and our boys will shoot them out of the sky and sink them in the water – at least, we’ll have a damned good try.’
Lizzie was shivering despite the warmth of the workshop. Reaching for his hand, her fingers curled about his and she looked up at him imploringly. ‘Let’s go home, Harry. I don’t want to think about the future or what might happen. I just want to enjoy being with you while you’re here…’
‘Lizzie, I love you so much. Never forget that will you? And if anything does happen to me, remember me. I don’t expect you to mourn me forever, but don’t forget me.’
‘Harry, I don’t want to lose you and I could certainly never forget you…’
They hurried through streets that were already dark because of the blackout, wanting to be at home together. Once inside their tiny flat, Harry drew her hard against him and kissed her so fiercely that he bruised her lips, but she didn’t complain, because she sensed the need in him.
She led him through to their bedroom and towards their bed. Somehow they discarded their clothes and then they were tumbling on to the clean sheets, inhaling the scent of lavender as they went into each other’s arms. Harry’s kisses had never been sweeter or more passionate as they caressed and touched, exploring each other’s bodies, carried away on the tide of need and desire that overwhelmed them. His urgency helped Lizzie to abandon the reserve she’d felt the last time they made love and she blocked everything out but her love for him and his need of her.
This time, Lizzie gave all of herself, revelling in the touch of his hands and his long legs pressing her down into the feather mattress; his lean body covered hers and she felt the smooth hardness of him, sensing that his training was making him fitter and stronger. In those few moments she was his in a way she’d never been and it seemed to her that they became one whole person – a person who could never be complete again unless the other was there. With him inside her, filling her, she became the woman she hadn’t truly been until this moment, understanding something women had understood since time began. Before this she’d still been an unsure, romantic girl but now she belonged to Harry as never before: she was his woman, his flesh, his soul – and he was all her world. He had to be, because it was too late for regrets and she wouldn’t let herself think about the look in another man’s eyes.
Afterwards they lay for a long while without talking, without needing to talk, just inhaling the scent of each other and the feel of sweat-slicked skin cooling. Harry lit a cigarette and they shared it. When it was finished he drew her to him again and she tasted the tobacco on his lips, but then he began to kiss her throat
and her breasts, working his way down her body with tongue and lips, making her tingle and tremble as he aroused her to new heights of desire. When his mouth reached the most secret central part of her and began to lavish her with a sweet caress of tongue and lips she began to writhe and buck as the feeling swept through her like a brush fire and she was consumed in its flames.
It must have been long afterwards, when they had slept, that Lizzie woke again to discover the bed was empty.
‘Harry…’ She slid her hand across the sheets and felt them cold. ‘Harry, where are you?’ Lizzie jumped out of bed and ran naked through the flat to find Harry in their tiny kitchen. He turned and looked at her, hungry eyes going over her body, and she blushed, because it was the first time she’d walked naked in front of him and it felt somehow odd out of the bedroom.
‘I thought you’d gone…’
‘I have tonight and all day tomorrow,’ he said and smiled at her. ‘I was going to bring you tea in bed…’
‘Lovely, we’ll take a tray back. Are you hungry? I made some cake and sausage rolls…’
‘I’ve already started on them,’ he grinned at her. ‘I was starving, Lizzie – but I don’t want to get up. I want to make the most of our time together – because I don’t know when I’ll get another leave.’
‘We’ll stay in the whole time,’ Lizzie promised. ‘I’ve got plenty of food to cook for us when you’re ready.’
‘I saw the chops and the bacon and eggs. We can have that later.’
‘They’ve already started rationing some foods, but your uncle says it will get much worse. He told me weeks ago to stock up on sugar, treacle and tinned foods, so I did.’
‘Well, he’s been through a big war,’ Harry said and picked up the tray. ‘I’ll follow you through… you’ve got a beautiful bum, Lizzie. I’ve never had a good look before this…’
‘Harry!’ Lizzie said, feeling herself go hot all over. She was very conscious of being naked and made a rush for the bed, covering herself quickly. Harry laughed, leaned in and kissed her.