by Rosie Clarke
‘Here, help yourself,’ Mark said, offering her a plate and looking anxious.
Beth took some of the delicious-looking rice and the salad and then the tiniest amount of seafood in pink dressing. She forked a minute piece into her mouth and tasted and a smile broke out.
‘Oh, that is delicious,’ she said. ‘I should like some more of that…’
‘You can have it all, because I don’t eat it; I got it just for you,’ Mark said but she laughed and shook her head.
‘You spoil me..’ She took two large spoonsful, whilst Mark helped himself to the salads and rice. ‘ I shan’t want to go back to the hospital canteen fare of watery mash and soggy chicken pie.’
‘That sounds even worse than the food they serve us in our canteen. They say the menu on the ships is better than we get at the base, but I’ve yet to experience it…’
Beth paused with a forkful of food halfway to her mouth. ‘You haven’t been to sea yet?’
‘Only for training and coastal work…’ Mark told her, before adding, ‘I’m on the Atlantic run after this leave, Beth.’
‘Oh, Mark…’ Beth had been sipping the delicious wine he’d ordered. ‘That’s so dangerous…’
‘Yes, but it has to be done…’
They looked at each other in silence, because ships on that run were being sunk by German U-boats; the Germans believed that if they could stop food getting through to Britain they could starve the people into submission without a prolonged war and were concentrating all their efforts on the merchant ships for the moment.
Tears caught at her throat, because everyone knew how the ships on the Atlantic run were suffering, and now that Mark was one of the men risking his life to bring supplies to Britain, she was even more aware of the danger.
‘I didn’t order a pudding,’ Mark said, ‘but if you wanted we could ring down and they’ll bring it up.’
‘I shan’t need it after this…’ Beth said and relishing her treat..
Between them they cleared all the dishes and Mark patted his stomach in content. ‘I was looking forward to a decent meal on leave, which is why I chose this place. Come here, Beth…’ He patted the side of the bed where he’d perched to eat, leaving Beth the comfort of the single armchair. ‘Sit here and talk to me, tell me how you’re getting on… Are you enjoying your nursing?’
‘At the moment I’m just skivvying,’ she said mournfully. ‘I enjoy the lectures and helping with the patients, but we VADs don’t get much of that – it’s all bedpans and scrubbing.’
‘Poor Beth,’ Mark said and put his arms about her. She turned to face him and her heart did a giddy somersault as she saw the look in his eyes. ‘This damned war. I love you. You must know that, Beth?’
‘I’ve felt it reading your letters,’ she said her voice no more than a whisper. Although she hadn’t spent much time with him, his warm and wonderful letters had made her realise how very much she liked him. No, her feelings went deeper and were much stronger than mere liking. ‘I love you too…’
Mark pulled her closer, kissing her first on the lips and then her throat, her earlobes and nose. ‘I think of you all the time, Beth,’ he said. ‘Look, why don’t we get married while I’m here? I could get a special licence…’
‘I’m not old enough,’ Beth said regretfully. ‘I wish I could, Mark – but my father wouldn’t consent, even if you asked him…’
‘Hell…’ Mark ran his fingers through his thick hair. ‘I thought if we could have a quick wedding… I dream of us being together, Beth – you know…’
Beth nodded, his tone of voice and the look in his eyes arousing feelings inside her. Suddenly, she knew that she couldn’t bear to lose him as she’d lost Tony. She pressed closer, initiating their kiss which was unlike any other kiss she’d ever known and in a reckless mood, said, ‘We don’t have to be married, Mark. We can be careful. You may be away ages and…’
Mark looked down at her in concern. ‘Supposing something happened, Beth? Supposing I couldn’t get back…’
‘Don’t – please don’t,’ she whispered. ‘I love you and you love me – we can’t think about anything else. Making babies isn’t that easy. I know of women who have tried for years…’
‘Oh, Beth my darling,’ he said and drew her tight against him. ‘I do love you so very much…’
‘I love you…’
‘I want you so much,’ Mark said against her hair, his hand stroking her thigh over her skirt. ‘It wouldn’t be fair to you, Beth, but I wish…’
‘Why shouldn’t we?’ Beth said, her need making her speak her thoughts aloud. ‘We love each other and we shall marry one day, shan’t we?’
‘Of course we shall. You’re the only one for me, Beth. Whatever happens, I shall never marry anyone else.’
‘Then love me. I want you to, Mark. We can be careful – I’ve heard that there are ways…’
‘Yes,’ he said doubtfully. ‘I could pull away at the last, but that isn’t always fail-safe. I didn’t bring anything – I never thought you would want to before we marry.’
‘Does it make you think ill of me? It was just that you’re leaving…’ she said, looking worried. ‘I’m not easy, Mark…’
‘I know that,’ he said and stood up, pulling her hard against him. ‘I want this more than you’ll ever know and I’ll still love and want to marry you – but you have to be sure, just in case…’
‘It can’t happen the first time,’ Beth said. ‘Not if we’re careful…’
‘If anything happens let me know. I’ll get leave and marry you as soon as I get back…’
‘I love you,’ she whispered. ‘If you love me nothing else matters.’
Mark kissed her so sweetly that the last of Beth’s doubts fled. She wanted to experience the fullness of love before he left, to know they belonged to each other – perhaps then she could be sure he would come back to her.
In that moment Beth didn’t care if she did fall for a baby. All she wanted was to show Mark how much she cared so he would take the memory with him and never forget her.
Of course it wasn’t just once, because once could never be enough for either of them. Beth wasn’t going to worry about what she’d done yet. Their loving was tender and sweet and she felt truly loved, cherished and wanted. She knew she ought to call a halt but she couldn’t bring herself to leave the warmth of their bed; it was just so lovely to be held close and stroked. Mark’s hands were so gentle and they made her shiver with delight when he touched and caressed her. His kisses thrilled her, and when he reached for her again she went to him willing and eager. Several times they loved, dozed, talked of getting up and then made love again. Beth never wanted to leave him.
In the end she slept and it was getting light when a knock at the door woke her. Mark was up and dressed and he brought a tray of tea to the bed. She sat up, only now aware of her nakedness and slightly embarrassed to remember their night of unbridled passion.
‘We must have fallen asleep,’ she said, slightly shocked to realise she’d spent the whole night in his hotel room.
‘Don’t mind me looking at you,’ he said. ‘You’re beautiful, Beth, and you are mine – and I was the first. I shall never forget that and I promise I’ll marry you as soon as I get a long enough leave to come back…’
‘My father might not allow it…’ Beth glanced at her watch and shot out of bed. ‘I’m on duty in just over an hour. I have to get back and change into my uniform or Sister will murder me…’
‘Drink your tea and I’ll order a taxi…’
‘That’s so wasteful,’ Beth said. ‘I can walk it in half an hour.’
‘You’re already in trouble for being out all night,’ Mark said ruefully and kissed her. ‘Get dressed quickly and I’ll take you back in my car…’
Chapter 27
Wendy and her mother came on the Tuesday of that week to collect and pay for the hats they’d ordered, and they both bought another simple straw hat from the collection Lizzie had tak
en through to the showroom just that morning. They lingered for a while, talking about Wendy’s wedding, which was now imminent, and Lizzie began to understand what Uncle Bertie had meant when he said selling to the public was time-consuming. At last the two ladies took their leave and she was just preparing to return to the workroom when the door opened. She turned and saw that it was Mabel Hennessy, looking very smart in a black suit with a large straw hat.
‘Hello,’ she said. ‘I didn’t know you were coming today?’
‘Oh, I didn’t make an appointment, just popped in to see what you have new. I have to tell you that I’m very cross with you, Lizzie Larch. I’ve just seen some of the hats you made for Wendy and I’m jealous.’
‘Since your last visit, I’ve been allowed to try my wings a little – but most of Wendy’s hats were fairly conventional, apart from the trimmings.’
‘Well, I loved the hats you made for me and now I want something special.’
‘Please try anything on you like,’ Lizzie said. ‘Of course, I can make the designs in different colours with different trimmings…’
‘I love that black and green pointed hat in the window… May I try that please?’
‘Yes, of course, if you wish – but I should tell you that it is really just a bit of fun for display. It was a first go at that idea and may be a bit flimsy… it probably wouldn’t last long.’
‘That hardly matters,’ Mabel said airily. ‘I don’t want my hats to last forever; it would be so boring.’
Lizzie handed Mabel the hat and she tried it on in front of the mirrors. As soon as she put it on, Lizzie knew it was right. It had looked well on Beth but it was perfect for Mabel. She must have had her in mind when she was making it.
‘How much is it?’
Lizzie hesitated. She could make something for Beth in a slightly different way and knew her friend wouldn’t mind.
‘If you’re interested in buying other hats I will give you that one,’ Lizzie said. ‘I couldn’t sell it because it may fray after you’ve worn it a couple of times…’
‘Really? You will give it to me?’ Mabel gave a cry of delight and hugged Lizzie impulsively. ‘You are a darling. Of course I’ll buy all my hats from you – they are a lot less than Sebastian charges for them. Now, there are two more in the window I want to try – and I love that yellow straw with the big wavy brim; it’s so different. I want to try that red cone-shaped hat – and the black pillbox and that white felt with all the tulle… and then you can show me some of your designs. I want something exclusively for me…’
Lizzie brought her all the hats she’d asked for and there was soon a large pile of them on the counter, all of which Mabel declared she wanted to buy. When Lizzie showed her some of the designs she was working on, she went into raptures over two styles: the buccaneer felts, which were easy for Lizzie to shape and trim, and a new one which she was just trying to work out in her mind.
‘I should like that one in brown, black and red,’ Mabel said, ‘and this one is gorgeous in the colours you’ve shown… that sort of pinkish mauve with a soft brim over the face and that veiling.’
‘I’ve just started to think about that one,’ Lizzie told her. ‘I can do have the felts ready in two days – but the other may take longer.’
‘Will you make it for me by the end of next week? That’s when we leave for America, you see, just after Wendy’s wedding. My husband has a new appointment and we shall be away for months…’
‘I shall do my best,’ Lizzie promised, ‘but if the style doesn’t quite work I’ll have a similar one in that colour ready for you.’
Mabel paid for the hats with a cheque. Lizzie hadn’t been asked to take a cheque before but because she knew Mabel she accepted it.
After she’d gone, Lizzie returned to the workshop and showed Ed the large order she’d just taken and the cheque. He nodded, but looked concerned as he worked on cutting the order he was preparing.
‘Something wrong?’
‘She came on her own without an appointment, you say?’
‘I know what you’re thinking, Ed. Customers for the bespoke hats are supposed to telephone first – but I think she’s a law unto herself. She wouldn’t think it necessary to make an appointment.’
‘Well, she should. You mustn’t encourage customers to call out of the blue, Lizzie. You’ll get behind with your work when we’re busy and you know what Oliver will have to say about that – and be careful about taking cheques, because sometimes they bounce… Our boss wouldn’t be too happy then, Lizzie.’
Lizzie could imagine it, but it was done now and she didn’t think they could afford to simply send customers away if they didn’t have an appointment. If they wanted the bespoke service to be a success, they had to do whatever the ladies wanted…
She was pleased as she thought of Mabel’s excitement over the witch’s hat. It had really suited her and she could wear that sort of quirky hat. Of course, she had promised it to Beth, but she would just have to make her something else – something in the same colours but more practical.
Sighing, Lizzie thought how much she missed her friend now that she was away in Cambridge. She had other friends but Beth had been more like family. She would make the hat for her at home and tell her about it in her next letter…
*
Beth came to see Lizzie at the weekend. She’d got an unexpected leave and had taken the chance to come home for a few days. Lizzie knew nothing about it until she answered her door at half past eight that night.
‘Beth… you’re home.’
‘Yes, they gave me leave out of the blue, so I jumped on the train and came home for three days.’
‘Why? You haven’t done something awful and been given the push?’
‘No, of course not,’ Beth denied but Lizzie saw the faint flush in her cheeks. ‘We’re taking some preliminary tests next week and so they gave us a few days off to do some revision.’
‘So you came home instead?’
‘I can revise wherever I like,’ Beth said. ‘Are you going to invite me in or leave me to freeze out here?’
‘Come in,’ Lizzie said. ‘Have you eaten? I can get you some toast and marmalade, but I haven’t any eggs or bacon – or cheese either…’
‘What do you live on, fresh air?’
‘I ate it all earlier,’ Lizzie explained as she led the way upstairs. ‘I usually shop on Saturday and just buy bread for toast on my way home. Sometimes I eat with Madge and Ed – and I’ve been to lunch at Aunt Miriam’s a few times at the weekends…’
‘Aunt Miriam now is it?’ Beth teased and then suddenly turned and hugged her. ‘I’ve missed you so much, Lizzie…’
‘What’s wrong, Beth. I know something is, so tell me…’
‘Mark came to see me in Cambridge – he’s on the Atlantic run now,’ Beth said in a choking voice. ‘I’ve been reading about the attacks on that shipping… I don’t think I could bear it if anything happened to him, Lizzie. I love him so much.’
‘You hardly know him, Beth – and he’s… well, his people are different from ours.’
‘You can’t help who you fall in love with,’ Beth said and flung herself down in a chair. ‘I thought I loved Tony – but I didn’t know what love was. I was so naïve…’
‘And now you’re not?’ Lizzie saw the faint flush in her friend’s cheeks and fear clutched at her. Beth was different and she had an awful feeling she knew what had caused the difference. ‘So are you going to marry him or what?’
‘As soon as we can arrange it. Mark would have married me on his leave by special licence, but I’m not old enough…’
‘Well, you knew what your parents would say, don’t you? If they wouldn’t let you marry Tony until you were twenty…’
‘I can’t bear it,’ Beth said and there was a sob in her voice. ‘It seems like ages since he left and it’s only been two weeks.’
‘It’s more than a month since Harry got a twenty-four-hour pass…’
�
�A month – but Mark may be away for years,’ Beth said and her mouth trembled. ‘I can’t bear it, Lizzie. I know he’ll forget all about me…’ She flung herself down in a chair. ‘What am I going to do?’
‘You’ll be able to write to him and he will write to you – but if he’s away for months, well, you might have changed your mind by then…’
‘No, I shan’t. It was different with Tony. I didn’t know anything then – Mark is so much more… oh, I don’t know. He has more to say about things; he knows about history and politics and art – everything. We just sit and talk for ages, and he treats me as if I were bone china. When he kisses me I melt…’
‘Beth, I’m so sorry. Really, I am, but everyone is in the same boat now. All the young men are signing up to one of the forces – and most of them will serve overseas. Mark will be safer in one of those huge ships.’
‘Ships can sink,’ Beth said gloomily. ‘It’s all right for you, you’re married to Harry.’
‘If Mark loves you he’ll keep in touch somehow – and you will marry one day.’
‘That’s what he says. He says he’ll buy me a ring but we have to keep it to ourselves for a while. He will speak to Dad on his next leave and then we’ll get married…’
‘What are you upset for then?’
‘You know my father,’ Beth’s gloom increased. ‘He’ll make me wait for years…’
Lizzie nodded, feeling sympathy for her. ‘I know you feel unsure now, Beth, but if you love each other it will work out. Look, I made this hat for you instead of the witch’s hat…’ She produced a beautiful straw boater in fine green straw trimmed with black lace and an exotic flower.
Beth pounced on it with glee, trying it on in front of the mirror and exclaiming, ‘I like it more. It really suits me. Did you sell the other one?’
‘Well, sort of. Mabel Hennessy – well, Carmichael now. She wanted it and she bought several others. I know I said it was yours, but I thought you wouldn’t mind?’
‘No, of course not. I’d rather have this, because I can wear it more often…’ Beth turned and hugged her. ‘Mum said to ask you to lunch on Sunday. She misses seeing you now that you’re so busy.’