by David Miller
“There’s a brandy behind the curtain!” the director whispered to me.
I stepped back and located the glass. The bottle stood beside it. I sat down on a chair for a moment.
Meanwhile the director had brought out another animal and was waiting for me. I helped myself to another brandy and remained seated. The wait was obviously too much for the director, who presently began a presentation himself in his frightful mangle of a language. To my horror I realised that he was talking about the hyena; he even made a slip of the tongue and called it a badger. I rose indignantly and took the stage, gesturing for the director to step aside, and took over the presentation myself. The hyena was the climax of the whole show and I would have to surpass myself to rescue it now. I scoffed at the director, said he’d never seen a hyena in his life, and then swept into an account of the dissolute life of this savage beast. The brandies had their effect and my enthusiasm rose to dizzying heights. I could hear the passion and the fire in my own words as the hyena stood at the director’s feet, blinking patiently with his little eyes. “Hold him tight!” I shouted to the director. “He’s getting ready to pounce! He’s after my guts! Keep your pistol cocked, he might break free!”
I must have alarmed the director himself. He pulled the hyena towards him with a jerk, the leash snapped, and the beast slipped between his legs. A great cry went up from the women and children out front and half the audience rose from their seats. For a moment the tension was unbearable. Then the hyena ran away from us with little tripping steps, across the stage and back into his little cage. The director slammed the door after him with a clang.
We all breathed out, and I concluded the presentation. This time we had been lucky, I said. After the show, this very evening, a heavy iron chain would be obtained for the monster. I bowed and stepped back.
The applause came like thunder. There were cries for the speaker, the speaker. I went on again and took another bow and if the truth be told I went down very well. The audience were still clapping as they went out of the door. Although there were some who were laughing.
The director was pleased and thanked me warmly for my support. He could certainly look forward to many more full houses.
A man was waiting for me outside as I left the hall. It was my ticket-seller from the Park Pavilion. He had heard the whole thing and was most enthusiastic and loud in his praise of my skills as a public speaker. On no account was I to give up the idea of lecturing in the pavilion, now was the time to advertise, now that people had heard me and knew what I could do. A repeat of the talk on the hyena, for example, would go down particularly well, especially if I brought the animal along with me.
But the following day that rascal of a director refused to pay me unless I gave an undertaking in writing to appear on his show the next evening. Otherwise I could sue him for it, he said. The cheat, the scoundrel! Eventually we reached a compromise under which he paid me five kroner. With the three he had already given me that made eight, which was enough to pay my fare back to Kristiania. He insisted on keeping my written speech, though I protested long about this, painfully aware of the abuse it would encounter. On the other hand it was undeniably his property and he had paid for it, so in the end I gave in. He was so inordinately appreciative of it.
“I’ve never heard a speech like it before,” he said. “I remember yesterday, it gripped me the way no sermon ever has.”
“You see?” I said. “That’s the power literature has to move men’s minds.”
These were my last words to him. In the afternoon I caught the train back to Kristiania.
CREE QUEERY AND
MYSY DROLLY
J.M. Barrie
Inside the tiny human frame of J.M. Barrie (1860–1937) was a literary giant struggling to get out. Around five feet, three and a half inches tall, he was born in Angus to a weaver, the ninth child of ten. Encouraged by the family towards the ministry, he was educated at Glasgow Academy and then the University of Edinburgh. He began writing journalism, stories and novels, then plays; first parodying Ibsen, but soon work like The Admirable Crichton and Peter Pan propelled him to become one of the most successful writers of his generation. His emotional life was more arid, but all is forgiven as he gave the copyright to his most successful work to Great Ormond Street Hospital. He wrote, “We are all of us failures, at least, the best of us are.”
The children used to fling stones at Grinder Queery because he loved his mother. I never heard the Grinder’s real name. He and his mother were Queery and Drolly, contemptuously so called, and they answered to these names. I remember Cree best as a battered old weaver, who bent forward as he walked, with his arms hanging limp as if ready to grasp the shafts of the barrow behind which it was his life to totter up hill and down hill, a rope of yarn suspended round his shaking neck and fastened to the shafts, assisting him to bear the yoke and slowly strangling him. By and by there came a time when the barrow and the weaver seemed both palsy-stricken, and Cree, gasping for breath, would stop in the middle of a brae, unable to push his load over a stone. Then he laid himself down behind it to prevent the barrow’s slipping back. On those occasions only the barefooted boys who jeered at the panting weaver could put new strength into his shrivelled arms. They did it by telling him that he and Mysy would have to go to the “poorshouse” after all, at which the gray old man would wince, as if “joukin” from a blow, and, shuddering, rise and, with a desperate effort, gain the top of the incline. Small blame perhaps attached to Cree if, as he neared his grave, he grew a little dottle. His loads of yarn frequently took him past the workhouse, and his eyelids quivered as he drew near. Boys used to gather round the gate in anticipation of his coming, and make a feint of driving him inside. Cree, when he observed them, sat down on his barrow-shafts terrified to approach, and I see them now pointing to the workhouse till he left his barrow on the road and hobbled away, his legs cracking as he ran.
It is strange to know that there was once a time when Cree was young and straight, a callant who wore a flower in his button-hole and tried to be a hero for a maiden’s sake.
Before Cree settled down as a weaver, he was knife and scissor grinder for three counties, and Mysy, his mother, accompanied him wherever he went. Mysy trudged alongside him till her eyes grew dim and her limbs failed her, and then Cree was told that she must be sent to the pauper’s home. After that a pitiable and beautiful sight was to be seen. Grinder Queery, already a feeble man, would wheel his grindstone along the long high-road, leaving Mysy behind. He took the stone on a few hundred yards, and then, hiding it by the roadside in a ditch or behind a paling, returned for his mother. Her he led – sometimes he almost carried her – to the place where the grindstone lay, and thus by double journeys kept her with him. Every one said that Mysy’s death would be a merciful release – every one but Cree.
Cree had been a grinder from his youth, having learned the trade from his father, but he gave it up when Mysy became almost blind. For a time he had to leave her in Thrums with Dan’l Wilkie’s wife, and find employment himself in Tilliedrum. Mysy got me to write several letters for her to Cree, and she cried while telling me what to say. I never heard either of them use a term of endearment to the other, but all Mysy could tell me to put in writing was: “Oh, my son Cree; oh, my beloved son; oh, I have no one but you; oh, thou God watch over my Cree!” On one of these occasions Mysy put into my hands a paper, which she said would perhaps help me to write the letter. It had been drawn up by Cree many years before, when he and his mother had been compelled to part for a time, and I saw from it that he had been trying to teach Mysy to write. The paper consisted of phrases such as “Dear son Cree,” “Loving mother,” “I am takin’ my food weel,” “Yesterday,” “Blankets,” “The peats is near done,” “Mr. Dishart,” “Come home, Cree.” The grinder had left this paper with his mother, and she had written letters to him from it.
When Dan’l Wilkie objected to keeping a cranky old body like Mysy in his house, Cree came back to Thrums an
d took a single room with a hand-loom in it. The flooring was only lumpy earth, with sacks spread over it to protect Mysy’s feet. The room contained two dilapidated old coffin-beds, a dresser, a high-backed arm-chair, several three-legged stools, and two tables, of which one could be packed away beneath the other. In one corner stood the wheel at which Cree had to fill his own pirns. There was a plate-rack on one wall, and near the chimney-piece hung the wag-at-the-wall clock, the time-piece that was commonest in Thrums at that time, and that got this name because its exposed pendulum swung along the wall. The two windows in the room faced each other on opposite walls, and were so small that even a child might have stuck in trying to crawl through them. They opened on hinges, like a door. In the wall of the dark passage leading from the outer door into the room was a recess where a pan and pitcher of water always stood wedded, as it were, and a little hole, known as the “bole,” in the wall opposite the fire-place contained Cree’s library. It consisted of Baxter’s “Saints’ Rest,” Harvey’s “Meditations,” the “Pilgrim’s Progress,” a work on folk-lore, and several Bibles. The saut-backet, or salt-bucket, stood at the end of the fender, which was half of an old cart-wheel. Here Cree worked, whistling “Ower the watter for Chairlie” to make Mysy think that he was as gay as a mavis. Mysy grew querulous in her old age, and up to the end she thought of poor, done Cree as a handsome gallant. Only by weaving far on into the night could Cree earn as much as six shillings a week. He began at six o’clock in the morning, and worked until midnight by the light of his cruizey. The cruizey was all the lamp Thrums had in those days, though it is only to be seen in use now in a few old-world houses in the glens. It is an ungainly thing in iron, the size of a man’s palm, and shaped not unlike the palm when contracted and deepened to hold a liquid. Whale-oil, lying open in the mould, was used, and the wick was a rash with the green skin peeled off. These rashes were sold by herd-boys at a halfpenny the bundle, but Cree gathered his own wicks. The rashes skin readily when you know how to do it. The iron mould was placed inside another of the same shape, but slightly larger, for in time the oil dripped through the iron, and the whole was then hung by a cleek or hook close to the person using it. Even with three wicks it gave but a stime of light, and never allowed the weaver to see more than the half of his loom at a time. Sometimes Cree used threads for wicks. He was too dull a man to have many visitors, but Mr. Dishart called occasionally and reproved him for telling his mother lies. The lies Cree told Mysy were that he was sharing the meals he won for her, and that he wore the overcoat which he had exchanged years before for a blanket to keep her warm.
There was a terrible want of spirit about Grinder Queery. Boys used to climb on to his stone roof with clods of damp earth in their hands, which they dropped down the chimney. Mysy was bedridden by this time, and the smoke threatened to choke her; so Cree, instead of chasing his persecutors, bargained with them. He gave them fly-hooks which he had busked himself, and when he had nothing left to give he tried to flatter them into dealing gently with Mysy by talking to them as men. One night it went through the town that Mysy now lay in bed all day listening for her summons to depart. According to her ideas this would come in the form of a tapping at the window, and their intention was to forestall the spirit. Dite Gow’s boy, who is now a grown man, was hoisted up to one of the little windows, and he has always thought of Mysy since as he saw her then for the last time. She lay sleeping, so far as he could see, and Cree sat by the fireside looking at her.
Every one knew that there was seldom a fire in that house unless Mysy was cold. Cree seemed to think that the fire was getting low. In the little closet, which, with the kitchen, made up his house, was a corner shut off from the rest of the room by a few boards, and behind this he kept his peats. There was a similar receptacle for potatoes in the kitchen. Cree wanted to get another peat for the fire without disturbing Mysy. First he took off his boots, and made for the peats on tip-toe. His shadow was cast on the bed, however, so he next got down on his knees and crawled softly into the closet. With the peat in his hands he returned in the same way, glancing every moment at the bed where Mysy lay. Though Tammy Gow’s face was pressed against a broken window, he did not hear Cree putting that peat on the fire. Some say that Mysy heard, but pretended not to do so for her son’s sake; that she realized the deception he played on her and had not the heart to undeceive him. But it would be too sad to believe that. The boys left Cree alone that night.
The old weaver lived on alone in that solitary house after Mysy left him, and by and by the story went abroad that he was saving money. At first no one believed this except the man who told it, but there seemed after all to be something in it. You had only to hit Cree’s trouser pocket to hear the money chinking, for he was afraid to let it out of his clutch. Those who sat on dykes with him when his day’s labor was over said that the wearer kept his hand all the time in his pocket, and that they saw his lips move as he counted his hoard by letting it slip through his fingers. So there were boys who called “Miser Queery” after him instead of Grinder, and asked him whether he was saving up to keep himself from the workhouse.
But we had all done Cree wrong. It came out on his death-bed what he had been storing up his money for. Grinder, according to the doctor, died of getting a good meal from a friend of his earlier days after being accustomed to starve on potatoes and a very little oatmeal indeed. The day before he died this friend sent him half a sovereign, and when Grinder saw it he sat up excitedly in his bed and pulled his corduroys from beneath his pillow. The woman who, out of kindness, attended him in his last illness, looked on curiously while Cree added the sixpences and coppers in his pocket to the half-sovereign. After all they only made some two pounds, but a look of peace came into Cree’s eyes as he told the woman to take it all to a shop in the town. Nearly twelve years previously Jamie Lownie had lent him two pounds, and though the money was never asked for, it preyed on Cree’s mind that he was in debt. He paid off all he owed, and so Cree’s life was not, I think, a failure.
THE LADY WITH THE DOG
Anton Chekhov
Anton Chekhov (1860–1904) was a doctor who dabbled with literature to dazzling effect. He stated: “Medicine is my legal wife but literature my mistress.” He wrote plays and short stories. He died too soon. Anyone interested in knowing more should read V.S. Pritchett’s biography of him, or simply read the epigraph (from a letter to his wife, the actress, Olga Knipper) to Julian Barnes’ Flaubert’s Parrot and wonder at the wisdom of the man.
I
IT was said that a new person had appeared on the sea-front: a lady with a little dog. Dmitri Dmitritch Gurov, who had by then been a fortnight at Yalta, and so was fairly at home there, had begun to take an interest in new arrivals. Sitting in Verney’s pavilion, he saw, walking on the sea-front, a fair-haired young lady of medium height, wearing a béret; a white Pomeranian dog was running behind her.
And afterwards he met her in the public gardens and in the square several times a day. She was walking alone, always wearing the same béret, and always with the same white dog; no one knew who she was, and every one called her simply “the lady with the dog.”
“If she is here alone without a husband or friends, it wouldn’t be amiss to make her acquaintance,” Gurov reflected.
He was under forty, but he had a daughter already twelve years old, and two sons at school. He had been married young, when he was a student in his second year, and by now his wife seemed half as old again as he. She was a tall, erect woman with dark eyebrows, staid and dignified, and, as she said of herself, intellectual. She read a great deal, used phonetic spelling, called her husband, not Dmitri, but Dimitri, and he secretly considered her unintelligent, narrow, inelegant, was afraid of her, and did not like to be at home. He had begun being unfaithful to her long ago – had been unfaithful to her often, and, probably on that account, almost always spoke ill of women, and when they were talked about in his presence, used to call them “the lower race.”
It seemed
to him that he had been so schooled by bitter experience that he might call them what he liked, and yet he could not get on for two days together without “the lower race.” In the society of men he was bored and not himself, with them he was cold and uncommunicative; but when he was in the company of women he felt free, and knew what to say to them and how to behave; and he was at ease with them even when he was silent. In his appearance, in his character, in his whole nature, there was something attractive and elusive which allured women and disposed them in his favour; he knew that, and some force seemed to draw him, too, to them.
Experience often repeated, truly bitter experience, had taught him long ago that with decent people, especially Moscow people – always slow to move and irresolute – every intimacy, which at first so agreeably diversifies life and appears a light and charming adventure, inevitably grows into a regular problem of extreme intricacy, and in the long run the situation becomes unbearable. But at every fresh meeting with an interesting woman this experience seemed to slip out of his memory, and he was eager for life, and everything seemed simple and amusing.
One evening he was dining in the gardens, and the lady in the béret came up slowly to take the next table. Her expression, her gait, her dress, and the way she did her hair told him that she was a lady, that she was married, that she was in Yalta for the first time and alone, and that she was dull there… . The stories told of the immorality in such places as Yalta are to a great extent untrue; he despised them, and knew that such stories were for the most part made up by persons who would themselves have been glad to sin if they had been able; but when the lady sat down at the next table three paces from him, he remembered these tales of easy conquests, of trips to the mountains, and the tempting thought of a swift, fleeting love affair, a romance with an unknown woman, whose name he did not know, suddenly took possession of him.