by Mia Castile
“I was thinking maybe you could tel Oliver that you were having a sleepover at Abby’s, and we could spend the night together.” He matched my move and held my eyes.
“I’m not comfortable lying to him,” I lied. “We’ve reached this sort of understanding.” This time I told the truth.
“We don’t have to do anything. I’d just like to spend the night with you.” Now he lied.
“I don’t know.” The thought of spending the night with him both excited me and terrified me.
“Think about it.” He scooted closer to me and slid his arm around my waist. I leaned into his shoulder. “I love you,” he said in a low, sexy tone. My heart began to beat out of control, and I was sure he heard it, but he didn’t respond to it. He just held me close to him as I told him as evenly as I could, “I love you.”
Chapter 21
The Tension So Thick, You Could Cut with a Knife
Travis
Gianna came through like I had hoped she would. She was going to spend the night with me. I didn’t know what I had planned exactly, but I just wanted to be with her. I wanted to feel her beside me al night and wake up with her in my arms. I didn’t want to have sex with her if she wasn’t ready, but if she was ready, I wanted to make love to her. She stirred such emotions I hadn’t even known existed. I was getting even more nervous as it approached the seven o’clock hour. That was when Alex was dropping her off. He had cal ed me, I assume after she had told him our plans, and asked for his help.
“If you make Gia do something she doesn’t want to tonight, you’l have me to deal with.” His voice was fierce, and I saw what Gia meant by how annoying it was when he didn’t even say “hey” or anything.
“Alex, I just want to be with her. We’re not going to do anything. Just sleep,” I smiled to myself anticipating, then added, “I just don’t want to be alone right now.” I felt lame pul ing that card.
“I’m just warning you. She’s a virgin, and you’re her first boyfriend. I don’t want her to regret her first time if she’s not ready.” I already knew al of this.
“She’s on two different emotional levels. It’s like she’s teetering between fal ing apart and being blissful y happy. I see it on her face. You may not because you’re too close to the blissful side, but I see both. And I don’t know what’s going to set her off but something might, and when it does, I don’t know what wil happen. She might become angry, she might cry, she might just shut down altogether. So don’t pressure her to do anything.” I was silent as I thought about what he said. “Are you stil there?”
“Yeah, I’m here, I’m just—” I trailed off.
“I don’t want to be such an asshat, but dude, it’s my sister. I have to look out for her.” His usual tone was back in his voice.
“I know. I love her. I’m not going to do anything to mess this up,” I reassured him and myself.
“OK. I’l bring her over later.” He hung up the phone without a goodbye. Gia hadn’t complained about that; maybe he was stil on the defense.
In preparation, I cleaned my room real y wel . I changed my bed sheets even though my mom had done it a few days ago. I cleaned the rest of the house and rented some movies. I showered and cleaned up then went to the Italian restaurant that we loved and picked up our dinner. I was in the kitchen when she came in.
“Travis?” She was barely audible. I came down the hal from the kitchen in the back of the house. She stood there in a pair of sweat pants rol ed up to just under her knee and a couple of tanks layered with my hoodie, the one that I had loaned her during that first bonfire. She had a tote bag on her arm with her purse. I smiled at how adorable she looked, her hair pul ed up in a bun piled on the top of her head. She real y looked as if she were going to a slumber party instead of sneaking out to be with her boyfriend.
“Are you hungry?” I took her bag and purse and began to climb the stairs.
“You didn’t fix dinner.” She fol owed me, not believing her ears. I chuckled.
“No, I got Gigi’s.” She folded her hands in my back pockets as I now towed her up the stairs. I tried not to let her touch cause a reaction in me, but was failing. When I reached the top and turned to go to my room, she took her hands out. She stil fol owed me. I dropped her bags at the foot of my bed.
“Careful, my camera is in there.”
“Are we taking pictures? You gonna model for me?” I swung around and swept her up in my arms. As I did, we lost our balance and fel into my bed.
“I just thought we could take a few of us. My friends in Indy are dying for more, and this is a big night for us.” She moved my hair around my hairline.
“I told you I’m OK with waiting.” Just the thought of her and me generated another reaction. She looked at me strangely for a split second and then briefly smiled. I was embarrassed; I knew I should have taken care of myself before she came over. This night might be a long one.
“I’m not talking about that; I’m talking about what this night signifies. It’s a cornerstone in our relationship. Like a milestone. Whatever happens, I’m going to remember it forever probably.” She cut her eyes to the side of my room, not looking at me. I kissed her forehead and went to stand. She pul ed me close again. Looking into my eyes, she traced my face with the tips of her fingers and smiled as she watched her fingers move. I couldn’t take my eyes away from hers though. She looked back into mine, and the smile faded. Her eyes held the longing I felt, too. I sucked in a jagged breath. No one had ever affected me the way she did.
“Dinner. Wil . Cold.” I couldn’t even think straight when she looked at me like that. She nodded as I loosened my grip on her and stood again. She let me go, too, and stood with me. I led her again down the stairs. In the kitchen I took down plates, and she looked at me with her head cocked to the side.
“What are you doing?” She began to unwrap our food.
“Getting plates, I thought it was obvious,” I teased.
“We don’t need to dirty your dishes if you don’t want to.” She went to the refrigerator and took out two sodas.
“I thought it would be nice, like a date. I was going to light candles and everything,” I grumbled.
“Hopeless romantic.” She giggled, conceding, and taking the plate I offered her. I took down two glasses and got ice for our sodas.
“I’m your hopeless romantic.” I stepped too close to her and breathed into the back of her neck. I knew it affected her when I came that close to her and did that. She almost dropped the container she was holding. She looked at me with mock annoyance, but she smiled, and I smiled too.
We playful y flirted throughout dinner. Then I went to the living room to put in a movie, but she went upstairs. She came back down after a few minutes with fingernail polish and a file. She sat down on the floor, paper towel in hand as she spread out her toes and began painting them. I looked at her for a long moment.
“I’m at a slumber party.” She looked up at me as if to say, “Duh.”
“Ah.” I leaned back and threw my legs up on the couch and watched the movie. Final y, when she was done with her fingernails and thought they were dry enough, she joined me on the couch. We didn’t talk during the movie. It wasn’t that it was very interesting; it was that I was alertly aware of her every move. She’d brush her hair away from her face, and I was watching her. She’d scratch her nose, and I was watching her again. I gave up on trying to fol ow the plot line. She snuggled up to me. I groaned unconsciously. She looked up at me.
“I’m just not into this movie,” I sighed, not taking my eyes off the TV.
“Why? It’s real y good. Who do you think did it?” She looked back to the TV.
“The reporter,” I said.
“But he’s the narrator.” She shook her head.
“Yes, but I just have a feeling that it was him.” She stil didn’t trust me, I could tel .
“You’re just saying that to mess with me.”
“No, seriously, he’s ‘ conveniently’, ” I threw up
my finger quotes, “stumbled on al these clues and is always there when something happens but never sees it. I think he has multiple personalities or something.” It was one of those gritty movies that was advertised as having a shocking twist. She shrugged.
“We’l see soon enough, huh?” And we did. Within fifteen minutes she subscribed to my spoiler theory, and sure enough, he was the murderer al along. It got pretty gruesome toward the end, and she hid her face in my chest. When it was over she sat up, yawned, and stretched, showing a little of her bel y. That was where my eyes gravitated. She pul ed her shirt down self-consciously.
“Are you ready to go upstairs? We can watch this one up there.” I held up the romantic comedy I’d gotten.
“Yeah, ’cause there’s no way I’m going to sleep after that ending.” She stood.
“Yeah, me too.” I fol owed her up to my room. I put the movie in, and she pul ed down the covers to my bed. “Do you need to change into pajamas or anything?” I nodded toward the bathroom.
“Yeah, but I can do that later. We’re going to be up for a while, right?” She sat down and pul ed the covers up around her. I pushed PLAY and climbed over to her. I pul ed her close to me as the previews started. I kissed the top of her head, and she put her arms around me. I settled down and kissed the side of her forehead as she began to play with the hem of my shirt under the cover. The second preview started. She sat up a bit, pul ed her hair down, and shook it out. I moved it away from her neck as she turned and looked at me for a second. I pul ed her to me, and we were kissing.
We did the same thing we’d been doing every day. But this time was obviously different; there wasn’t the caution that someone could come in on us at any moment. No one would stop us if we went too far. She pul ed my shirt over my head. I pul ed her on top of me as we kissed. My hands went under her shirts, and I helped her take them off. We kissed deeper, and I flipped her over and was on top of her. The menu was up for the movie, but we didn’t care. I untied her sweats and wiggled them off her. She tugged at my jeans at the same time. I kissed her throat, her shoulders, her chest, her stomach. She kissed me, too, anywhere she could reach. I unhooked her bra and pressed myself against her. She began to breathe heavily. At first, I thought she was as excited as I was. Then she began hyperventilating. I jerked off her, leaning on my knees. She pul ed the sheet up to her chest and refused to look at me.
“I’m sorry.” She was stil breathing heavily. “I thought I could, but I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” She pul ed her legs up and crushed the sheet around her.
“It’s OK.” I touched her arm, but she pul ed away from me and looked at me as if she were scared of me or hurt. “What did I do?” I was confused.
“It’s not you,” she accused. “It’s me. I must be wired wrong. I mean look at you!” And she surveyed me in my boxers. “I should be al over you, but I’m freaking out.” She didn’t look at me again.
“You’re nervous, and it’s al right.” I pul ed her to me. I settled us down in the bed and held her. We didn’t dress; we just held each other and after a short time of me smoothing her hair, comforting her as best I could, she fel asleep. I turned off the TV and watched her sleep. Final y, I drifted off to sleep myself.
I woke up dazed the next morning, not sure what I’d dreamed and what actual y happened. I rol ed over and saw her lying there on her bel y. Her hair spil ed over her bare back and over her face; the sheet rested just below the band of her hipster panties. She stil slept. I put my hands behind my head and stared at the ceiling. I was trying not to think about her lying beside me, and I was failing miserably.
“What are you thinking about so seriously over there?” I turned on my side to see her leaned up now, careful y covering her breasts in the morning light with her arms. It was very sexy.
“You.” I didn’t even look away from her as I said it as seriously as I’m sure I looked.
“I’m sorry, again.” She looked away, embarrassed.
“It’s OK, real y. I hoped, but I didn’t expect it.”
“Soon, OK. I don’t know how soon, but soon.” She final y looked at me.
“Breakfast?” I asked, changing the subject. I stood and went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth. I came back into my room and got a pair of basketbal shorts out of my dresser and put them on. She lay her head back down, watching me but not saying anything. I crawled across the bed and kissed her cheek. “I make the best scrambled eggs.” She nodded. I left, giving her privacy so that she could get up and dressed. I put bread in the toaster and made the scrambled eggs. When I was dishing them onto the plates, she appeared in the doorway. She poured us juice, and we were at the table eating. My phone rang, and I answered it.
“Hey, honey, how is everything?” My mom’s voice seemed a little strained.
“Everything’s OK, Mom. How’s Charleston?” I smiled and reached for Gia’s hand, squeezing it.
“Everything is fine, but I think we’re going to stay a few more days. Your father and I have been doing a lot of talking, and Hailey deserves a little more time with him. I wish you’d have come, honey. I’d hate for you to regret this.” There was solemnness in her tone. I didn’t understand it.
“I don’t regret staying behind, Mom. What about school for Hailey? She shouldn’t miss.”
“I’ve already cal ed the school; it’s OK. Honey, I didn’t want to tel you on the phone, but he’s sick.” I wasn’t sure I heard her right.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, the doctors are doing everything they can, but it’s not a guarantee, he’s in chemo—”
“He has cancer?” I interrupted her. I could feel my voice getting louder, and I couldn’t even look at Gia.
“No, he has a tumor that they are treating with a sort of chemotherapy. It’s terminal unless they can remove it.” I didn’t hear anything else she said after “terminal.” My father was dying as Gia’s mom had.
“I need to go,” I said in a hushed tone.
“Sweetie, we need to talk about this. Do you want me to purchase you a ticket so you can come up here too?”
“No, I just want to be alone right now. I love you, Mom,” I said. She said goodbye, and I hung up the phone. My hands began to tremble, and before I could say anything, Gia was standing beside me, holding me against her. I turned to her and felt the warm tears begin to stream down my cheeks. It had been a long time since I’d cried. He wasn’t much of a father, but he was my father. Although I didn’t want anything to do with him, I was overtaken with emotions of anger, fear, and sadness. She just held me to her as close as she could until I was done. Then she cal ed Oliver and told him Abby was dropping her at my house. She would be spending the day with me, since I’d gotten some bad family news. He didn’t hesitate with his approval.
“What do you want to do?” she asked me, pul ing me to my feet and leading me to the couch.
“I don’t know, but if this is how I feel hearing news about my dad, how did you feel when you found out about your mom?” I asked, rubbing my eyes.
“Um, at first I just sat there and stared at her. I remember she sat us down, and Mitchel was holding her hand. She said they would fight it and do whatever they could. I felt numb on the inside; I didn’t cry. I thought I would, but I didn’t. I thought I had to be strong for my mom, and I was.
“I helped her as much as I could. Alex turned to his sports and became obsessed with them. I quit playing my guitar; I only talked to my two best friends, but I refused to talk about my mom. This boy liked me.” She blushed slightly and looked away from me. “And I liked him, a lot, but I wouldn’t even talk to him after that. I felt like if I was good enough, then maybe God would make her cancer go away.
“Then I went through a phase where I was angry. I was angry at everyone, but that didn’t last long. I sucked it up and got back to helping out. It changed me, though, obviously. Our lives are precious and too short. We have to make most of every day. We have to spend it with the ones we love.” She loo
ked out the window. We sat there for a while. We watched the other movie, and we took a nap.
It was late in the afternoon when there was a loud banging on the front door. I wiggled my way out from under her and tried to not wake her, but she stirred. I answered the door, and Oliver was standing there with his fists clenched. He barged in and poked his finger into my chest.
“You were supposed to respect her! Gianna! Get your things!” he boomed. She sat up from the couch and looked at him.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“I cal ed Abigail’s house and spoke with her mother. You didn’t spend the night there. I trusted you.” Her face turned red.
“Mr. Moretti, nothing happened,” I began.
“Travis, keep your mouth shut. I wil be cal ing your mother as soon as I get back home.” He didn’t look at me, just glared at Gia. She didn’t say anything. She simply stood and went upstairs to get her things.
“You thought you’d get away with this?” He looked at me now.
“I just wanted to spend time with her.” I looked to the stairs.
“Is that everything?” he asked, as she descended the stairs.
“Yes,” was al she said to him. “Travis, I wil cal you later.”
“Not likely,” he said, as she led the way out of the house.
I stood and watched them. Oliver closed the door. They were talking al the way to the car, but I couldn’t hear what they said. I just watched them from my window. I did catch his lips shape the word “virginity” though. I felt awful for getting her into trouble. I decided to give her time to get home and get lectured. Then I’d text her to test the waters. I turned on the TV to pass the time, but I didn’t have to wait the whole thirty minutes. After twenty minutes, she texted me.