I’m sorry, he signed. I wanted to do that a better way.
That way was pretty good.
No. I meant I wanted to talk to you about it first. I wasn’t planning to maul you like that.
I see. I eyed the bag on the ground, now turned on its side. The tip of a stiletto poked out as a reminder that Veronica waited for me back on set. Guilt ate at my insides, along with a whole bunch of other emotions so twisted together I could barely sort them from one another. Why did you do it?
Isn’t it obvious? I like you. I’ve liked you since the moment you took a boat to the face like a champ.
Oh good. He still remembered that. Man, the list of embarrassing things I’d done in front of this guy must’ve earned me some sort of world record.
But why? I asked. I mean, you’re this big star and I’m just an author’s assistant.
You’re so much more than that. He tucked a lock of hair behind my ear and traced my scar. I tried to pull away, but he cupped my chin with his hands, unwilling to give me a moment of shame. “You’re smart, and funny, and sweet. Not to mention beautiful.”
I coughed and sputtered. “Aubrey’s beautiful. I’m just me.”
“Sure, Aubrey’s beautiful on the outside. But she’s superficial, and boring and kind of a bitch. When I told her I wanted to break up, her true colors came pouring out. I’m not sure I’ve ever had that many expletives hurled at me at once.”
I laughed. “Yeah, she’s not a big fan of rejection. But Leila warned me about you. She said you only date girls to help your career. I can’t do that. I won’t do that. If you want to be with me so the world will say, ‘Look how Gavin Hartley dates the disabled girls! He’s got so much heart!’ I won’t be a part of it.”
His hands fell to his sides and he kicked at a rock. It skidded across the roadside before settling under a trailer beside us.
I hate that you think that’s what this is, he signed. I’d never do that to you. To anyone.
You did it to Leila.
That was different. We did it together. It was a mutual agreement between us and our publicists to get us in the papers.
Right. The papers. ’Cause that’s where this was headed if I kissed him again. Memories of the camera phones flashing that night at the restaurant moved to the forefront of my mind. How was I supposed to date a celebrity when I couldn’t even cop to writing my own books?
It was impossible to count how many ways this was a bad idea. Possibly worse than following Tanner into his hotel room.
I grabbed the bag off the ground. “Look, Gavin, I’m flattered and completely shocked, but I don’t think I’m what you’re looking for. I have no interest in fame, and I sure as hell don’t want to face Aubrey’s wrath.”
I headed toward the set and Gavin grabbed my shoulder and spun me so I had no choice but to stare at his beautiful body.
People don’t need to know, he signed. It can be our secret.
I shifted the bag to my elbow so I could reply in kind. Why? Because the people around here can’t hear us if we talk like this?
Because I want to get to know you. Because you’re not like other girls I’ve dated, and I like that. Because I can’t stop thinking about you.
I stiffened. The bag cut into the crook of my elbow, reminding me that he’d already seen more than Tanner had and he still wanted to be with me. I couldn’t deny the way my stomach vaulted around my insides like a hyper gymnast every time I looked at him, or how fifteen-year-old me screamed up a storm when I tried to tell her I wouldn’t be pursuing our teenage crush. I sighed.
Fine, I signed. I’ll try it. But in secret. No public outings and no one on the set can know.
I can do that, he signed. But first, I want to do something else.
What’s that?
I didn’t need sign language to read his body as he pulled me between two trailers and pressed me to the wall of one of them. The steel against my spine sent shivers through me, but they were soon lost among the shivers driving through the rest of my body as his lips joined with mine.
• • •
Turns out, dating a ginormous movie star in secret wasn’t as easy as he made it sound. By the time I left the set with a sour-faced Veronica, Gavin and I still hadn’t figured out a place we could meet for our first official date.
The next day, in Children’s Lit, my phone blinked on my desk.
GAVIN: Your dorm room?
ME: Roommate.
And it went off again in Shakespeare on Wednesday.
GAVIN: My hotel room?
ME: Paparazzi.
Thursday in Magical Physics, my dumbed-down science requirement, was no different.
GAVIN: A movie theater?
ME: Ticket takers.
By Thursday evening on the set, I’d determined this was more trouble than it was worth. I handed Veronica my typed notes on the scene they were filming the next week to pass on to Stan and leaned against a tree as the crew set up.
A hand slipped into mine and pulled me behind the tree.
“What are you doing?” I hissed.
Gavin planted a kiss on my neck, drawing shivers from my skin. No one’s looking, he signed. They’re all too busy worrying about what still needs to be done.
I peeked around the trunk to see that he was right. Stan and Veronica stood by the beach, their backs to us, heads bent over my notes. Everyone else ran back and forth frantically as usual. I’d watched this process dozens of times now, and I still had no clue what half of them did.
“Hmmm.” I wrapped my arms around Gavin’s neck and pulled his face toward mine. “It’s a good thing all you Hollywood people are so self-involved.”
“You think I’m self-involved?”
I ran a hand down his chest and over the deep ridges of his abdomen. His stomach contracted beneath my fingers as he sucked in a breath. “A person doesn’t look like this without spending an ample amount of time on their body. I’d consider that self-involved.”
“I call it being in shape.” He grabbed my hand and pulled it around his waist. I pressed my palm against the slope of his lower back. “But I can stop, if you prefer.”
I bit back a moan as his muscles strained against my fingers when he shifted closer. The bark of the tree pressed into my spine, but there was no way I was leaving that spot.
“Um, no,” I said. “You have my permission to be as self-involved as you like, if this is the end result.”
“Now who’s self-involved?”
I’d relived the feeling of his lips for three sweat-filled nights and three days, but they still came as a surprise when they pressed into mine. When he pulled back, he took my breath with him. I closed my eyes until the world settled back into place.
He smiled and signed, I found a spot for our first date. Are you free after filming tonight?
We were supposed to film until almost midnight. Of course, it would probably go late, as usual, but Friday was my free day with no classes and nothing to be up early for.
I nodded. Where are we going?
It’s a surprise. Meet me down at the shore after I’ve changed?
Sure. I’ll have to drive Aubrey home and come back, though.
Perfect. That’ll give me time to clean up. See you then. Something caught his attention. He widened his eyes and glanced around the tree before planting a kiss on my forehead. I’m needed, but I’ll meet you in a few hours. I can’t wait.
My fingers traced my forehead and mouth as I roamed back to the set, enjoying the tingles still lingering from Gavin’s lips. Veronica had finished her conversation with Stan and now propped herself against Thora’s shack, caught in the shadow of someone tall and blond. I knew without him turning that it was Tanner. Veronica trailed a fingernail over his chest and he brushed a hand across her cheek.
Well, they worked fast. In a way, it was destiny. They deser
ved each other. Perfection with perfection.
For once, filming stuck to schedule, and we finished only a few moments after midnight. I offered to drive Veronica home, but she informed me she already had a ride and shot a sly look at Tanner. His eyes barely grazed my face before the couple walked away, hand in hand.
I wandered to the shore and waited for Gavin. The water was calm and black, stars glinting off the surface like fireflies. I ached to shove off my shoes and squish my feet into the lake bottom, but it was far too cold this time of year.
Someone touched my shoulder and I turned to find Gavin offering me his hand. He led me to a boat the crew used for water shots. It was tied to a dock down the beach, two oars splayed across the wooden seats.
I glanced behind me. “Aren’t we going to get in trouble? Won’t someone notice us going off together in their boat?”
“Naw,” Gavin said. “Everyone just wants to get home. Come on, this is our ride.”
He hopped into the boat and held out his hand. I cocked my head.
“We’re rowing there?”
“Well, I am. Don’t worry, it’s not too far. Are you afraid of the water?”
“Quite the opposite.” I slung a leg over the edge of the boat and grabbed Gavin’s outstretched hand to steady me. Once I was seated at the end, he held out a piece of black cloth. “Um, what is that?”
“I wondered if you’d put it on. I kind of wanted this to be a surprise.”
Everything I’d learned in my self-defense classes clicked around in my brain. Alone on a boat with a guy who wanted me blindfolded.
“Are you taking me somewhere to kill me?” I asked.
“I was waiting for the second or third date for that.”
“Hm. So you see this going beyond a first date?”
“Only if you put on the blindfold.”
“Nothing dangerous or kinky?” I asked.
“Not if you don’t want it to be,” he said.
“I usually wait till the second or third date for that,” I said.
“Perfect. We have an agreement, then?”
The moon seemed extra bright that night. It glinted off the lake and reflected the playfulness in his eyes. Despite knowing my mother would have a fit and tell me I was being an idiot, I put the blindfold on and knotted it firmly behind my head.
The world went dark. All I had left was feeling and scent as we shoved away from the dock. The boat swayed beneath me and the wind licked my cheeks. I gripped the edge of my seat and shivered in the chilly night. We rocked for a moment and then something was draped over me. I released one of my hands and felt the soft material of what must have been a blanket. Pulling it up to my neck, I snuggled into it and let it pull the chill from my body.
“You thought of everything, huh?” I sent a smile to the spot across from me.
After a few more moments, the boat jerked to a stop as we hit the shore. The blanket was pulled from my lap and wrapped around my shoulders. I clasped it closed and Gavin took my free hand to pull me out of the boat. My feet sank into a surface that squished beneath my feet. Sand.
I sniffed the air and my stomach grumbled. Something smelled greasy and delicious. Gavin guided me a little farther, till I almost tripped on the edge of something in the sand. Then the blindfold was removed.
A picnic lay spread out on the beach before me. Complete with lanterns and wineglasses, a blanket—the thing I’d almost tripped on—covered the sand, with bags from the local fast food joint resting in the center. My stomach rumbled at the sight.
I’d been living on cafeteria and catered food the last couple of months, and while the food on set wasn’t awful, it was usually a combo of health food and donuts. Apparently, in Hollywood, it was totally okay to eat six donuts a day, as long as the rest of your meals were comprised entirely of lettuce.
I gaped at Gavin. When did you do all this? I signed.
Actually, I had my assistant set it up while we filmed.
You what?
Don’t worry, he signed. I told her it was for some random fan.
And she didn’t question the fact that you were taking a fan on a romantic picnic in the middle of the night? Is this something you do often?
Actually, this is the first time I’ve done anything like this. Besides, she’s new. She’s afraid to question me. Come, sit down.
I moved toward the bags of greasy heaven, then stopped, the realization of where we were tugging at my feet like lead. I knew this place all too well. The trees and the shadows had made up my nightmares every night for the last six years. The boat. The blindfold. The beach. How had I not figured it out sooner?
“You brought me to Sheridan Island!” I managed to gasp out.
“Is that what it’s called? I went exploring the other day and stumbled on it. Doesn’t seem like anyone lives here. I thought it’d be nice and private.”
“I can’t be here.” I shrugged the blanket off my shoulders and backed toward the boat. “You need to take me back.”
“Elise, you’re shaking. What’s wrong?”
I wrapped my arms around myself and tried to look anywhere but between the trees. “Please, Gavin, can you just take me back?”
“Not until you tell me what’s going on. You’re scaring me. You’re white as a sheet.”
I closed my eyes, remembering the last time I’d stood on this shore. Six years ago. The day everything changed.
“This is where it happened,” I whispered. “This is where I killed my best friend’s sister.”
“What?” Gavin jerked away from me in surprise. “What are you talking about?”
“Gavin, please. I can’t be here.” My gut clenched. “It hurts. It hurts too much.”
“I don’t understand what’s happening. You need to talk to me. If I take you back, will you explain?” I nodded, clutching my stomach. “Okay, don’t move.”
He threw stuff onto the picnic blanket and balled it up. The large moon winked between the trees beyond him, and the shape of a mangled building emerged from the shadows.
Six years. For six years, I’d been afraid to come back here. Something hitched in my chest as I studied the building in the moonlight and I knew. I needed to go back there. I owed it to Annie to visit her one last time.
Without a word, I marched past Gavin and into the trees. As the building drew closer, I shivered violently. A blanket was thrown over my shoulders and I turned to find Gavin behind me, holding up one of the lanterns.
“What are you doing, Elise? I thought we were leaving.”
“I’ve never told anyone what actually happened,” I said. “Not the police, not my parents. I was afraid they’d hate me. Hell, I hate me.”
I broke through the trees and stopped in front of the ruined house. No one had thought to bulldoze what was left of it. Broken bottles and cigarette butts were the only evidence anyone still ventured there at all. A tear slipped down my face as I took in the walls that were no longer walls but charred stumps in the ground.
Gavin stepped closer, but I couldn’t bring myself to face him. My body shook and I pulled the blanket tighter as I closed my eyes and heard the last sounds I could remember. Annie’s laughter, the strike of a match, a loud boom.
“She died right here,” I said. “My friend Annie.”
I didn’t look at him, but his hand found mine and gripped it in a way that told me it was okay if I wanted to continue, or if I didn’t.
I released Gavin’s hand and stepped through the space in the walls that had once been a door. The memory of slipping through it those years ago edged along my mind. The squeak of the hinges as we pushed it open still echoed in my ears.
“This was Mr. Drake’s summer house. He lived in New York and ventured here when it got warm. He hired me to check in on it over the winter, so I had a key. It was the day after Christmas and Annie came to my h
ouse with a bottle of wine she’d stolen from her parents’ cabinet. She and I didn’t hang out a lot. In fact, I was closer with her younger brother, Jin. But she was two years older than me and beautiful. Her friends had left for the holidays and she chose to hang out with me. I was stunned and wanted to impress her by showing her I could handle whatever was in that bottle.
“We came out here to be alone. Just as we got to the shore, a storm hit and we ran through the snow, the wind biting our cheeks and freezing our tears to our skin.”
I stood in the spot I last remembered Annie occupying. She’d been wearing a purple parka and a pink scarf, her onyx hair hidden under a hood. She’d blown on her hands as she pulled off her gloves.
“The house was freezing, and the snow didn’t look like it was going to stop. Since he didn’t use the house in the winter, Mr. Drake hadn’t installed a fireplace and he’d had the electricity turned off. I left Annie in the living room and wandered into the kitchen.”
Moving through the debris, I stopped where the kitchen once had been.
“There was a gas stove in the corner and a pack of matches beside it. I opened the oven and lit the pilot light, hoping it would give us some sort of heat. After a while, we weren’t warm, but the chill had at least left the air. We sat on the couch in the living room and chatted and drank the wine Annie had brought. It was disgusting, but it kept us warm enough for a while.”
I wandered back to the old living room. I didn’t look at Gavin, but I could feel his eyes on me, taking in every word.
“The storm was one of the worst we’d had in a long time. A combo of ice and snow rained onto the roof and trees, making it impossible for us to leave. So, as the sun started to set, we polished off the wine and sat in a dizzy trance, wondering how the hell we were going to get home.
“I fell asleep at some point, and woke up to a blinding headache. The house was dark and covered in shadows. It was freezing. I could hear the wind whistling through cracks in the window and doorframes. When I glanced over at the kitchen, I noted the pilot light on the oven had gone out, probably due to a wayward breeze. I remember thinking something smelled funny, but my head was so fuzzy, I couldn’t figure out exactly what it was. Annie stirred beside me and mumbled that she needed to use the bathroom. She was just as out of it as me, stumbling around the room and swearing when she walked into the coffee table.”
Flirting With Fame (Flirting With Fame) Page 17