MY UNBORN SON
D
uncan sat in the corner of the room beside Michael. The tension was palpable. Michael had paced most of the night, wondering how this morning’s meeting was going to go. He was pleased to see that Duncan had at least come, considering that Michael had already written off help from the Braeden. Once everyone had arrived, at Michael’s request, Jenner rose and spoke first.
“We have before us a choice. I assume Michael has spoken with many of you individually as to the reason that we’re considering a return journey to Eidolon, but for any who are unaware, I’ll briefly explain. Two individuals who are of importance to this realm need our assistance. Micah is an Innocent and will be condemned to death for his sympathies for Adoria. Sara, a childhood friend of Ariana’s, is being held as a breeder.”
Caedmon responded first. “Are you certain that he is still an Innocent?”
Michael hurt for Caedmon. His whole demeanor had changed since Reese’s death.
“Garren has told us that Micah has yet to take his first soul. Michael saw it as well. This is the young man who was spared upon your last meeting with Garren’s men.”
“Respectfully, Jenner, I don’t question who he is. I accompanied Michael and the boy back to Eidolon that day. What I question is all that has happened in his life since his return.”
“He’s an Innocent. After delivering Michael’s message to me, I kept a close watch over him.”
Michael watched as the others disregarded Garren’s words. He rose from his seat to stand beside Garren.
“Do you think that I’m not aware of what transgressions Garren’s committed? Do you think me a foolish leader who would send you headfirst into harm’s way? I’ll go alone into Eidolon if that is what it takes, but after hearing claims of loyalty from so many of you over the years, it grieves me to hear you sound so resolute over your decision to abandon me when I need you the most.”
Jareth started to say something in opposition, but Michael held up his hand to stop him. “What have we sacrificed so many lives for, if not for redemption? Was it vengeance that you purposed after, all this time, as you rode by my side in battle? I know some of you have lost loved ones at his hands.” He looked at Duncan as he spoke. “But hating him will not bring them back, or lessen your grief. It will only kill any part of you that they loved.”
Michael turned his attention back to the group. “Did you think this would be easy? What did you expect? What do you think will happen once Eidolon is defeated? It’s much easier to hate than to forgive — but that’s what separates us from them, the ability to choose. Hate darkness, but don’t confuse those who are held captive by it with those who create it. Garren is of this realm. While his actions were dark, he did only as he was raised to do.”
Caedmon’s face grew tight. “How are you so convinced this isn’t just another type of deception? Could he not have sensed that Ariana was your sister, and then used her as a source of weakness for you? It’s purchased him free entry into our realm.”
“He already had entry into this realm and could have used it at any time. There would’ve been no need for theatrics. All he had to do was simply walk past our borders. It’s not my perception that has changed, but the circumstances.”
An older woman, Juliana, with gray hair and a thin, distinguished face, spoke next. “If you deem it an acceptable risk to rescue these two, then I have faith that you’ll not have to go alone. But I believe you will find it difficult to navigate Eidolon without the help of the Braeden.” She was an elder of few words, like many of the other Adorian women, but there was a command to her voice that had always captured Michael’s attention.
Duncan leaned with his chair tipped back against the wall and refused to respond.
“If you won’t do this for me, then please consider it for Ariana. Did you not know Sara?”
Duncan was agitated already, but Michael needed his assistance and it seemed that eliciting an emotional response from him was the only way.
“Why do you think I’m sitting here? We should’ve talked about this already and gotten Sara out of Eidolon while we were there. This is yet another example of you being ill prepared. You concern yourself far too much with principles and manage to leave out common sense in the process.”
Michael wasn’t thrilled with Duncan’s attitude and he could feel the shock emanating from Garren, who wouldn’t have expected such outright hostility from those under Michael’s command.
“Duncan, as I’ve already stated, I would appreciate your help, but it’s not mandatory.”
“It’s quite mandatory. You won’t be able to navigate your way through the tunnels. Our newfound brother doesn’t even know they exist, much less where they lead. And now that we’ve made such a grand entrance, you can rest assured that Eidolon will be heavily guarded from now on.”
Garren considered Duncan’s words. He seemed surprised by any mention of tunnels. “My suggestion — ”
“We don’t need your suggestions. We’ve rescued our own from your castle’s walls before, this is nothing new. Your mother was one of us, and you find that easy to believe, why does it shock you to learn that she wasn’t alone?”
“What surprised me is that an Adorian made it to a cell in the first place.”
Michael cringed as he heard the words. He knew Garren hadn’t meant them the way that they’d come out, but Duncan’s composure was starting to unravel.
“Not every Ereubinian has the exceptional sort of cruelty and malice that you carry for our people, for anything with a pulse. Your taste for blood is infectious and has been carried on into the hearts of your men. Things weren’t always as they are now in Eidolon. Why do you think it was so easy for Gabriel to befriend your father?” Garren didn’t respond. “Because he was nothing like you!”
“Wait,” Michael clung to the vain hope that he’d misunderstood Duncan. “You knew Garren was Adorian before Roahn spoke for him?”
“Of course I knew. I was there.” Duncan glared at him coolly. “Jareth was born of both Man and Adorian and yet he has wings. It’s always been this way, being of no importance which side carries the blood of an Adorian.” He turned to Garren. “Yet you were born without. More than a symbol, it means that you are not one of us.”
Michael rose to his feet. “You said nothing to me when we last sat in this room, discussing the border. If you knew he was Adorian and could pose a threat to our realm by breaching the divide, why did you stay silent?”
“That’s a question for your father.”
“My father has nothing to do with this.” His restraint was weakening. It was one thing to allow such talk to be done within this room, but quite another to place their realm in peril, no matter the excuse.
“He has everything to do with this! It’s the same reason I couldn’t tell you of your sister’s existence. I made a promise to him, that the things we beheld and were privy to wouldn’t pass beyond us. No one can make me break that vow.”
“Even at the demise of your own people?”
“Beyond death, Michael. Gabriel asked if I’d be able to keep my promises, even after he was gone, and my answer to him was yes. For all the talk of ideals that you pretend to stand behind, I’m amazed that you’re so shocked to find me loyal. I don’t have to run my mouth to prove my allegiances.”
Michael had heard enough. “It’s not loyalty that drives your decisions or your promises to my father. I’m not sure what exact — ”
Duncan clenched his hand into a fist and held it to his chest as he leapt to his feet. “It is my unborn son!” he screamed. “It is the child who was taken from me before I even beheld his face.”
Michael’s jaw fell slack.
“That is what drives this rage, Michael. Yes, you lost your father and mother, but you have lived most of your life within these walls, and that is quite a different matter from the daily torment that my men have endured. Gabriel understood that and knew that I wouldn’t be swayed by lofty talk. He looked a
t me the day he asked for my allegiance with the same gravity that I would hold when I watched my beautiful stepdaughter murdered in cold blood. Gabriel had already lost Caelyn to the very being who was raising your newfound brethren and you want me to pretend that your father knew nothing of what Garren was capable of?”
Everyone sat in stunned silence. Michael, unsure of his words, whispered, “The Ereubinian who left her mortally wounded was Tadraem? He was also …”
“He was responsible for Seth and Indeara’s deaths as well.”
Garren went pale.
Duncan shook his head, “Michael, you must understand, I cannot …”
“Don’t. You’re right. My father had his reasons, though what they were, I cannot imagine.”
Garren looked up. “Ruiari,” he said slowly, reverently, as if he were just remembering. He closed his eyes and lowered his head. “Duncan, you have every reason to hate me. Know that could I go back and undo — ”
Duncan forcefully let out a breath, interrupting him. “I offered you my own life for hers and unarmed myself in a good faith gesture, a foolish move on my part. You will not find me in that position again.” He started toward the door, but stopped before he left the room. “Your chambers aren’t but two halls down from Aiden’s. The tunnels lead all the way into the castle itself. We were there, right alongside your lineage for hundreds of years. I had you at blade’s end myself and it was the very fact that Gabriel didn’t hate you that kept you alive. It was the first thing I did after Ruiari’s fall. It was his words to me while he was still living that you should thank for your ability to take in breath, not the elders, or Michael, or archaic law. Had it not been for him, you would never have made it this far. I would have pierced you through that night as you slept, just as you mercilessly slay Lillian. She was merely a child, Garren. But just one of many for you. How many children have you slain since meeting Ariana?” He turned back to Michael. “I don’t suppose you considered that.”
Wordlessly, he left the room. Michael had trouble finding anything to say. He had been completely shocked by what Duncan had said, suddenly feeling very naïve. What else did he not know? What good was he as a leader when he knew so little of what was important? Duncan had known all along and yet Gabriel had told his own son nothing. Why? He tried to not let it hurt his feelings, but he was beginning to feel very much like Ariana had when she explained how left out she’d always felt, how unloved. He’d confided in his father about everything.
Jenner must have sensed his discomfort. “Then we will leave it as it is, the three of you will leave on first light. We will meet again tonight at the Torradh. Are we all in agreement?” Everyone nodded and began to leave, probably taking in everything that had just happened. Jenner walked over and placed his hand on Michael’s shoulder.
“Walk with me. Garren, you may join us. I am an old Adorian and I am tired, but I still see things. I see that look in your eye, Michael, the same one that your father used to have, and I’ve sensed it in your sister. A lot has been said in the past few days.”
Michael waited for the others to leave the room. Jareth lingered for a moment, until Michael raised his hand to let him know that it was alright to leave.
“Why would my father not tell me any of this? Do you have any idea how weary I grow of asking that question?”
Jenner opened the door, starting down the hall.
“Did the elders know of Garren’s lineage?”
Jenner paused, rubbing his hands together to warm them. “We had our suspicions when Ariana mentioned him. Gabriel went to Eidolon without our blessing. I assume it had something to do with why he decided to keep your sister a secret from all of us. Do not be offended that he confided in Duncan. I would never have imagined that one of our daughters would have been able to capture the heart of an Ereubinian, but it seems that I have now been proven wrong twice.” Jenner glanced at Garren and smiled, but Garren’s thoughts were clearly elsewhere, his gaze was focused on the floor.
“I had been trying to place Duncan all of this time, I didn’t remember until he spoke just now.”
Michael stopped walking, and stepped in front of Garren to look at him directly. “Then you remember the girl?”
“I remember everything,” Garren said, “as if it just occurred. What Duncan said as he left —”
Michael stopped him before he could finish his sentence. “We’re well aware of what goes on in Eidolon. Nech ordai neroman.”
Garren looked at him, shocked, which Michael expected.
“Every child who is raised in the Iidolis and the Aidolis is taught the language of the Laionai. My father knew it well, as does Duncan, Jareth, Caedmon — all of us. Every time your men used such speech in our presence we were well aware of what was being said. Garren, what is important now, isn’t the past — it’s the future.”
Jenner nodded in agreement. “Michael is right. I think to see even one human restored ... it isn’t something that I expected to see in my lifetime.” Jenner, usually an individual of great restraint, became overwhelmed as he spoke. He placed a hand delicately over his mouth in an attempt to shelter the trembling of his lips from their eyes. “Were it my own daughter who was enduring what this child is living through. Garren, I once rode as Michael does, as an Adorian knight, and I remember many were the days that I lived and breathed the calling of a shepherd of man. But it wasn’t until I met Elspeth that I truly understood the depth of the sadness that the human race endures. The fathers who must watch their daughters and wives enter into a defiled marriage bed. The sons who toil for those very men who have stolen their brides and the wives who must watch them sire sons who will grow up to hate them.
“It may be the simplest of all things that destroys the darkness, so we mustn’t overlook even the smallest of advances. For all of our efforts over the centuries, not one single human has ever had his soul restored.”
Though Garren remained quiet, Michael could see the first signs of a new being emerging from the shadow of who Garren used to be.
Jenner stopped them. “I have promised the rest of the day, until this evening, to my sweet wife, so I will leave the two of you to finish discussing what needs to be done in order to bring them back here. We will see one another again tonight.” Jenner bowed to Michael, then disappeared down a flight of stairs.
“We have much to discuss,” Michael said. “While I know a good deal about Eidolon, I know very little of your former friend.”
“The Laionai and the Moriors concern me, not Aiden.” Garren flexed his hand at his side as he spoke. “Considering that Micah wasn’t the only one to lay down his sword, I think it’s a safe assumption that the Laionai will make his execution public, as an example. There is a gathering in honor of the Goddess, held every year on the 6th of Jessup. Let’s hope that they’ve planned it for that event, and not any sooner.” As Garren spoke, Michael remembered the Ereubinian who had approached them in the cell.
“One of your men came upon us as we were leaving the cell. He was loyal to you, and I assume by their reaction to you in the outer courts that he was not alone in his allegiance.”
Garren stopped walking and looked out of one of the large picture windows that lined the hallway. His eyes were unfocused. “Malachai. I don’t understand why any Ereubinian, knowing what they were risking, would do anything like what he did. Deceiving the Moriors is a serious offense.”
“What are you not saying?” Michael asked.
“My men watched my reaction to Aiden’s defiance — you wouldn’t care to hear the details of it. I have a difficult time believing that any of them would concern themselves with anything but their own survival. They obeyed me out of fear, Michael. I’ve done nothing to warrant their loyalty.”
“Yet they laid down their swords at the sight of your resistance. There is loyalty there, regardless of the reason. If we fail, what are the chances of your own men going against you?”
Garren shook his head. “We cannot fail. If we do, we won’t live t
o see this realm again.”
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
UPON THE
WAKING HOUR
T
he night was dark and cold. The wind blew as faint as an infant’s breath across the surface of the lake, gently rocking the ice fragments that still remained from the harshest part of winter. Not all of the fallen could be brought back to Adoria, but pyres had been fashioned as symbols for all who had been lost. The landscape was dotted in the distance with great fires that had been lit in their honor.
Michael came before them, wearing a solid black robe. He carried a thin, leather-bound book. Duncan stood next to Ariana, who wore a simple white gown. The sleeves were loose at the elbow, billowing around her wrists.
Michael raised one hand into the air and held aloft his father’s sword. He read several passages aloud in Adorian, then read the names of each of the fallen Adorians. Ariana closed her eyes, swallowing back sobs for what she’d done.
Duncan put his arm around her and pulled her to him. “What is done is done. Your heart was in the right place,” he whispered.
She looked up at him, thinking that it sounded like something her father would have said. She mouthed the words ‘thank you,’ and bent her head back down.
As Michael finished reading the names, the elders came to him and lit their torches from the single candle that sat sheltered from the wind at his feet. They carried them out to the water’s edge to set each of the flats alight. Ariana kept her eyes fixed downwards, listening to the muffled cries of loved ones. As she rose, she caught a glimpse of Garren through the sea of faces. He was next to Jenner, who had chosen not to stand with the other elders.
Michael walked to the largest pyre, and with the help of several others, pushed it into the frigid waters. As soon as it was afloat, he dropped his candle onto the kindling, setting it aflame. Soon after, the other pyres were set into the water and lit as well.
Michael had come to her earlier in the afternoon, telling her about what had happened after their meeting. It reassured Ariana for Michael to confide in her, asking her about Father, and revealing that he felt a little betrayed that he hadn’t told Michael about Garren’s parentage. She wasn’t sure how much she had been able to comfort him, but she had tried.
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