Both models edge forward bobbing their heads eagerly.
I’m terrified. Is Madsen a traitor?
“Continue,” the warm voice urges.
Madsen takes a deep breath. “The campaign is vigorously indulged in by those who wish to be the first to free climb Iron Rock Falls. Like I said, been growing secretly for a long-long time an’ all. Too many lives have been lost. Endless hours of production...lost an’ all? Loved ones never again seen. Needs be stopped for its own damn good. I hope this helps me, help you more than round-n-about.”
I am as aghast as are the Poip.
A-one jiggles its head and turns off.
B-one hums with activity and shuts down as well.
B-one comes up.
A-one awakes and says, “A moment as my trusted companion downloads the latest Legislation for the Assurance of Happiness.”
B-one hums again—falls silent.
In a cold and official voice, A-one says, “Information downloaded and transferred.”
Madsen glances at me.
Without warmth A-one says, “Citing the new Earth Combined Houses Bill 227-437 titled: Happiness, Rights to, Addition 440-601.
“And Referencing Sub-Section 299-45 of the Vehicle Maintenance Code. With added References to Sub-Sub Section 889-7 Part 114-56, Number 1002-34, Titled: Providing Information and attempts to sabotage Happiness through Vehicular Maintenance Negligence and Suspect Verbal Engagement under the Traffic Violation Sections.”
A-one pauses as though taking a deep breath and says, “This new Legislation is dated today and passed into Law via the Happiness Monitoring Act. Which Law in part states: Consistent and topical Conversation is a legal requirement as, while and when answering questions and or providing information in reference to vehicle maintenance under the Misuse of Mechanical Devices Section.
“Rights exist purely for the Assurance of Happiness as required under the Modifiable Constitution of Earth.
“Thusly, referencing amendments numbered 1785 through 2026 which in part states: Laws are required to ensure Happiness for the general, amalgamated, ethnic, non-ethnic, collective, dispersed, and any other specific or nonspecific public or individuals or groups.
“It is herein decreed that violations of these Laws may require immediate attention or not, due consideration or not, even exact formulation or not, some with or without formal form, some congruent or otherwise. Valid for all current or imagined positions, situations and possibilities.
“Thus by these legal truths we do here solemnly on this day, at this time, declare and enable the People’s Rights to Living Law.”
“What’s this?” I ask Madsen.
He shrugs.
“Under Section 911 Sub-Section 104-764 Page 288-934 it is hereby declared that Living Law provides instant Legislative Processing. This guards our Rights to Happiness in the face of any and all violations, potential violations both deliberate and otherwise.
“Whereas real time violations are committed in real time it follows that all moments of dissent are violations of one’s own Right to Assured Happiness and of the Rights of Others to have Rights.”
They bow to us and A-one continues.
“Disclaimer for ADD-Dees and others; Legal assistance will be provided to any who suffer from one or all genetic diseases. This includes such as the epidemic Dissenter’s Mental Lapsus and Thought Paralysis Diseased Disorder comprising Types 1 through 70889 whether the primary ADD-D infection is present and dominates all other diseases or not.
“Furthermore, assistance will be provided to all current, past and future active or passively infected subjects as well as all other citizens in respect of the contagion that such contagious diseases perpetuate.”
Madsen and I figuratively scratch our heads.
“This law subjects as well, all personal contacts, family members, friends and/or other persons, known or unknown at the time of violation, whether they are influenced by similar or dissimilar locations, or during occupancy or non-attendance in said locations. Includes all present or future dates and times. This embraces as well persons other than those described both known and unknown.
“Treatment, citations, fines, and fees may be levied upon those who have been close to or within the contagion arena at the time a crime has been committed. And includes prior to the time and post the time of any and all crimes or potential crimes.
“Distances from contagion points are calculated at all possible mileage, possible travel distances to any and all possible and probable locations be they inhabited or not.
“Time required writing this new Legislation, 27.06 seconds.
“Time required voting legislation into Law, 12.53 seconds.
“Costs of the new law are $ 2091.01 per violation.
“The amount and effect of this law is extended and compounded by the process of the ad infinitum laws of natural extension and normalization as and when required.
“Designed, written, approved, costing done and voted into Law by Mister Warrent McPeters. This done as authorized and on behalf of absent members of the House of Representations and the Senatorial Hub of the Federal Government of the United Countries of Earth.
“Percentage of House and Hub Members absent during voting, 100%. Default Voter Who Votes for Absentees, Mister Warrent McPeters.
“Yea Votes 100%. Nay Votes 0%.
“Thus passed into law this day. Today. Date. This date. Time. This time.
“This law embraces Situation Z which states that under questioning by any and all Authorized Government entities or persons at any time, in any place, on any subject a Respondent’s Rights are hereby clarified:
“A Respondent’s Answers are necessary and must be correct per Government stipulations.
“Any claims made and all data provided by Government Representatives are always correct and always accurate and always true.
“Failure to provide the expected correct answers violates one’s and all others Right to Happiness.
“Fines imposed for this violation are calculated in real time and are paid in real time.”
Our mouths hang open in horror; our minds as blank as the first page of an unwritten book.
“Once-Other and Madsen Somalo the sum of $ 2091.01 plus a further $ 500.00 for Administration Fees, another $ 850.54 for Voting Fees and possible paperwork has been deducted from each of your accounts.
“Once-Other. An additional $ 1730.99 has been deducted from your account under citation number 763-908, Poor or substandard Vehicular Maintenance per the Assurance of Happiness Commingled Legislative Act. Written, enacted and legally binding on today’s Date, at this Time and in this Place.
“Furthermore, a $ 500.00 Administration Fee and another $ 850.54 Voting Fee and possible paperwork have also been deducted for this second violation.
“We, of the Department for the Assurance of Happiness wish you well, a safe journey, thank you for your contributions to maintaining Law and Order as well as the Assurance of Happiness.
“With sincere thanks from me the esteemed Director, Mister Warrent McPeters.
“This includes an appreciation for your selfless exercising of your Constitutional Rights to Contribute to and Obey the Law. We bid peace and sanity to you and all those you may encounter today, tomorrow and for all your life at work or at play.
“Have a nice day citizens.”
Several minutes tick by before we are able to think, let alone clearly.
“Anyone writing laws worded like that on Here-Born would be charged with treason Madsen!” I whisper.
“I know an’ all! Bad-on-bad Once-Other and not round-n-about at all.”
“May not be as bad as we think,” I reply ever hopeful.
He glares at me.
I shrug his glare aside.
We turn toward Salt Lake Flats suddenly a strange and altered destination.
CHAPTER 26
Of Hidden Enemies
Unaltered though, is Soonsaan’s SandRider Sales, Repairs and Maintena
nce. It prospers beneath a circular red tent nestled in the city center of Sand Lake Flats. Is located at the tip of Two Mile Square Mall and faces west to the setting sun. Its rear door opens onto Circle Road where the coffee shops are rumored the finest on all of Here-Born.
Soonsaan’s high peaked roof flies a beige flag depicting a red SandRider cresting a dune. Sections of the tent’s walls are transparent allowing one to see into the showroom where the latest models gleam in lighting designed to enhance one’s desire to own. Parked outside and roasting in the sun are several pre-owned SandRiders bearing For Sale signs.
It has always puzzled me that Soonsaan and Maggie had not gotten married to one another. Something is odd there. As teenagers, they were inseparable. Briefly, I’d been jealous but that faded after Deidre scowled at me.
We made a foursome tearing across sand on hand-me-down SandRiders, lying on our backs staring up at the night sky. Days now long gone. Circumstances now long changed.
We pull up in the Service and Repairs bay just as Soonsaan exits and his smiling face smiles broader at the sight of us. I grin at his spotless red overall, which belies the mechanical nature of his work.
He’s short like Jenk but leaner. Broad hands dangle from long sleeves. He spreads his arms wide in welcome, shakes his head and ample black hair flares a dark fire about his face.
He holds still allowing us three an instant in which to examine one another. Unable to keep his enthusiasm at bay he rushes forward.
“Once-Other! Uh, Madsen. It’s wonderful you’re both...at the same time.”
We hug long and hard.
“Oh? What? Hmm?” He drops to his haunches and examines Hellbent. “Well?”
“Forgive me Soonsaan. I was deep in thought when it happened.”
“Tell me,” he demands.
“Strange sounds were coming from the engine but I failed to hear them clearly,” I reply.
“Hmm. What kind we talking about?” he says.
“Well...hard to say...something like ga-eer...ga-eer...softly or perhaps my thinking muted them.”
He runs a finger along his upper lip and says, “Ga-eer eh? We have a clue on our hands.”
“I ain’t getting other than most of nothing,” Madsen complains. We ignore him.
Soonsaan inspects the hoses, sniffs at the oil reservoir tank, fiddles with the hose connections and tugs at each.
“What you reckonin’ Soonsaan?” Madsen asks.
“I’m thinking Madsen.”
“Yes—round-n-about?” Madsen prompts.
Soonsaan waves him silent and checks under the oil pan.
Madsen’s face drops at being ordered about.
Soonsaan mumbles, “Ga-eer? Hmm? Metal filings? Hmm? Main bearings? Hmm? Maybe the small ends too. Hmm? Here—I’ll be right back. Hmm?”
He rushes inside and emerges moments later with a spanner and a catch-can. “Once-Other—hold this under the feed pipe...to oil cooler...hmm?” he says handing me the can. I do and Soonsaan works the connector and the O-ring free and oil gushes into the catch can. “Let’s take a look-see...hmm?” he says.
In his Analysis Lab, which is filled with high-tech equipment for the taking of all possible measurements and their persuasions, he pours some of the oil into a small pan. Pops it into the analyzer and watches keenly as the display evolves. “Interesting,” he mutters and adjusts the settings and the spectrum changes. “Hmm? Uh-hmm.”
We wait expectantly.
He grunts, nods, rubs an elbow, whistles through his teeth, steps back and examines me in an odd fashion. “Hmm? Hmm? You got enemies Once-Other?” he asks.
I stagger backward as though all of my fingers had found their way into a hot power outlet and stammer, “No. Well. I can’t think of any. Can you?”
“Seems you do,” he says.
“Why you say so an’ all?” Madsen asks as puzzled as I am stunned.
“See this here,” Soonsaan says. “The red with a bluish tinge tells tales...hmm...it’s the remains of an EB lubricant. Hmm? One not in use on Here-Born. Can’t even get any here. Hmm?”
“But why an enemy Soonsaan?” I ask.
“Hmm? Well. Has value on EB—as a general lubricant. Temperature ceiling is too low for Here-Born use, overheats easily, molecular structure alters. Hmm? Can’t be used here.”
“Ah...yes?” I say.
He stares at me long and hard, sighs and says, “Hmm? At too high a temperature doesn’t just thin and break down as oil tends to do. Instead, its molecules fuse into a solid lump.”
He taps the display thoughtfully, dips a finger into the oil and rubs it between his finger and thumb. “Do that,” he says.
Madsen and I can feel the rough particles crunch together.
“That’s bad,” Madsen says.
“Hmm. Right. Hmm? Now. Even our early morning temperatures are higher than the hottest EB desert at high noon in high summer. We engineer our oil here for our conditions. You can feel the difference between solidified oil and metal particles from the motor itself. Hmm?”
Madsen and I do another dip, rub the oil between thumb and forefinger and nod as one. Soonsaan traces a line around the red tinged with blue.
“What’s that?” I ask.
“Hmm? Cool blue and red hot,” he says. “We’re looking at partially seized molecules. It’s worse when added to other oil. Hmm? The darker blue...pieces of metal.”
For a minute we all think our own thoughts.
“Someone added this to your oil reservoir,” Soonsaan says.
And I say, “Hmm?”
“Someone who brought it here intending to cause damage,” Soonsaan adds.
I nod in cold understanding.
“Hmm? So the question about enemies.”
“I can’t think of any,” I say.
I search deep for enemies—known and unknown.
None comes to mind.
Soonsaan adds to my woes.
“How do you figure it got into your SandRider?” he asks.
Keeping those footprints in sand a secret, I shrug and he pivots and heads down a dark alley. “This is footprints in sand, Once-Other,” he says. “Someone is coming at you. You must find out who the hunter is.”
I nod, thoughtful, heart beat uneven.
Soonsaan says, “Now Once-Other. Yours is a dead engine. The chassis and suspension may still work. But if I spend time and money testing...cost more than I can get. The best option? Recycle.”
“Oh no,” I mumble.
“We’ll do so free of charge of course...if you are okay with...,” he concludes.
I nod yes and note his constant hmm’s have gone missing.
He points.
I turn with a sense of loss in the direction of Hellbent but with sudden insight to his sales techniques, I ask, “What? No trade-in value?”
“I’ve plenty work to do an’ all,” Madsen says, pats his belly in revelation of the actual truth and leaves. I watch him head off feeling a little guilty at my sense of relief.
Soonsaan smiles and says, “I understand.”
“Been some years now,” I add.
We both glance at Madsen checking his SandRider over.
Soonsaan whispers as he says, “Tragic slide downwards he’s had. Inexplicable too. Hope all turns out the best for you. Don’t see much hope for change in him. Best you rise above it…above him.”
“Been thinking along those lines, Soonsaan. We’ve been friends so….”
“Do along them Once-Other.”
I nod yes though lost as to how.
In a whisper laced with a strange power he says, “But for now…come with me!” Moving off involuntarily, I still manage to take a deep breath, break free of his grasp and stop up.
“Come Once-Other,” Soonsaan says a smile of innocence twinkling in his eyes.
“Do we need to do this now?” I ask and make to head for the rear exit.
He takes me by the arm and says, “Hmm? Allow me to show off our new models. Nothing more.
Hmm?” I again lose my own will and follow as though a natural extension of him.
CHAPTER 27
Of Buying And Selling
His showroom is spotless with that strange lighting hanging like ethereal mist. The smell of new metal, rubber, polish and fresh oil tickles my nose. Waves of contrasting colors assault me as Soonsaan gives my funny bone a gentle squeeze and marches me forward. At our entry two salesmen in beige pants and red shirts look up, note it is Soonsaan and get back to making calls.
The SandRider that catches my eye sits high upon a pedestal in the center of the showroom. Its six wheels stand proud, hunched and ready for action. She has two up front and four in the rear. Across its fairing, a wild graphic advertises her engine as a V8.
Being familiar with Soonsaan’s skills, I focus on a smaller model parked on the floor in a far corner. I saunter on by and examine her up on the pedestal without appearing to do so.
Her six tires seem designed for high speed and properly grooved for soft sand conditions. Their profiles and treads suggest undefeatable traction. And for all future passengers, her rear seat is blessed with a backrest. And both seats are longer, wider and better padded than Hellbent’s. Deep green metallic paint glows under the subdued lighting and seems alive with the anticipation of adventure. Stretched along her fairing, orange teardrops fly away into a fantasy of speed.
I struggle to control desire, a racing heart and glance at the sticker on the windshield by only moving my eyes.
A First Aid Kit along with a Navigation System that includes Remote Locate for when you are separated and not sure where to find her reassures one of a better survival potential. Then there’s a tow-bar. Winch. Nomadi connector. Satellite Access Module. Music System, with and without noise making speakers. Emergency Oxygen System and topping all, an auto-deploying tent.
Goosebumps attack my legs and arms. I refrain from rubbing them aware of Soonsaan’s attention playing over every square-finger of me like radar.
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