Making an effort not to seem too eager, too new, Kat finally pasted what she hoped was a good approximation of a bored expression on her face and sat back to sip something fruity that barely tasted alcoholic in nature.
During the first break, Kat lost her first bet with Amethyst when Zack walked up behind her and greeted everyone at the table. Somehow, in all of the scooting over, he ended up seated right next to her and she just knew Gustavia had maneuvered her again.
His obvious effort to keep from touching her was so distracting, she forgot she’d passed her normal limit of two drinks and was just starting on her third when Gustavia grabbed her arm and shouted, “We’re up next,” into her ear.
“Oh, okay.” Her toe caught in the rung of the chair as she stepped from the table and she nearly stumbled until Zack reached out a steadying hand.
Face flaming red, she mumbled, “Thanks,” and followed the others to the stage where, embarrassment forgotten, she accepted the bass from a man she had met several times before but had never seen before and flung the strap over her shoulder.
Gustavia launched into the first riff of Barracuda and Kat nearly missed her cue. Nothing felt exactly as it should. Not her hand on the neck of the instrument or the placement of her fingers on the strings. Finally, she closed her eyes and that did the trick. She had learned to play by feel rather than by sight so the darkness brought her back to the familiar.
When Julie launched into the first notes, Kat’s eyes popped open. She really wanted to watch. The distraction of seeing the performance was enough to make her forget her earlier awkwardness and finally lose herself in the music.
Until she caught sight of the crowd. All those eyes. Staring. Watching. Her stomach flipped then flopped. Cold sweat broke out on her forehead. Kat closed her eyes again to try and connect back with the music, to block out the onlookers. This must be stage fright.
No matter what Gustavia said, picturing an entire bar full of half-naked people would not make her feel better. That was one thing she never doubted.
Her hands were shaking by the time the song ended. Cries of, “more” quickly turned into a chant. Gustavia called over, “Kat, don’t you want to sing?”
Now there was a lump in her throat that felt like a rock. Swallowing twice in rapid succession, Kat shook her head. What was the deal? She’d sung on this stage plenty of times. Tonight, however, she’d be lucky to eke out a squeak.
“Let’s do Little Bird next,” Julie suggested.
Still unable to speak past the tightness, Kat nodded. Keeping her eyes tightly closed, she narrowed her focus to let in only the music and the lyrics. Her breathing slowed, the lump eased and after a moment, she felt as though Annie Lennox, through Julie, was speaking straight to her.
From somewhere outside herself, a sense of warmth and acceptance fell like a warm blanket over her jangled nerves. It gentled and soothed.
It was her time to fly, her time to leave the nest. Kat opened her eyes and this time the crowd had lost that menacing presence. Looking out, she saw smiling faces, happy people clapping along to the song, sending her positive energy.
Except for Zack who sat with an odd expression on his face.
By the time the last notes faded away, Kat was enjoying the experience as much as she ever had and this time when the crowd asked for more, she decided to sing Black Horse and A Cherry Tree
If she glanced over at Zack a few times during the chorus, well, it was nothing more than the truth.
He was not the one for her.
Chapter 18
Gustavia shot her brother a saucy wink as she shuffled chairs around and he ended up sitting next to Kat. Not awkward at all, the thought as he angled himself as far away from her as possible. There were things he wanted to say but this was not the place or time.
Relief washed over him when she got up to take the stage. He felt the jolt when her foot caught on his chair. Instinct took over when she stumbled, he couldn’t help himself so reached out to steady her. Just that brief touch brought back the memory of kissing her.
He nearly groaned at the flood of emotions that memory brought with it. Desire, yes—but there was more. There was that same sense of anticipation he had felt as a child when Christmas came around and he held a brightly wrapped package in his hands. Sure, it might turn out to be socks, but it might also be a robot or a toy car. Either way, it would be a delicious surprise—one he felt compelled to unwrap.
Zack pulled his mind back from that track—Kat was not a gift to be unwrapped.
Stop. Just stop, he told himself.
Then she was playing and when that moment of stage fright, of self-doubt passed through her, he felt the sharp stab of it just as keenly. When her breath shortened and strained, the weight of it sank into his chest.
What was happening to him?
Tension mounted as her fear grew within them both. Every lurch of her heart answered in his until he could take it no more and reversed the connection. Now, instead of her fear swamping him, he was the one doing the sending. Reassurance, acceptance, and strength were what he poured through the connection until he felt the fear subside.
He turned burning eyes toward the stage and tried to figure out how to sever whatever tenuous hold she had on him. Seconds passed, as the height of emotion leveled off and he transitioned into cop mode, he understood that she’d done nothing intentionally.
Watching intently, he saw that her eyes neither sought him out nor avoided him. None of the markers that normally pointed toward deception was present. If she’d been sitting across from him in interrogation, the word innocent would be flashing through his head.
There was only one conclusion he could draw from that deduction. If she had not been reaching out to him, then he must have been the one who had infiltrated her psyche. He had been the interloper.
Okay, they had some kind of weird connection.
It meant nothing.
Of course it meant something, but it didn’t mean he had feelings for her. It just meant…he forced his mind away from this train of thought and focused back on the stage.
Gustavia. He would watch his sister perform and forget all about Kat and her siren song.
Zack lied to himself thinking he could have done it, too. He could have purged every memory of her from his mind, forgotten how the trill of her laugh warmed something inside him, ignored that place inside him that answered her like an echo winging through the mountains.
When she started singing straight to him about how he wasn’t the man for her and all he could think was Oh yes I am.
_,.-'~'-.,_
Two spots of color rode high on Kat’s cheeks when she stepped down from the low platform that served as stage. Her eyes darted toward the table. The chair next to hers now sat empty.
She was thankful and relieved not to have to spend the rest of the evening ignoring him even if some small part of her cried out that this was a lie. That same inner voice also insisted he had been behind that warm rush of reassurance that had gotten her through a minor on-stage meltdown.
Stopping along the way to accept compliments, Kat made her way across the room toward the short hallway leading to the restrooms. A few minutes of quiet would go a long way toward being able to regroup. It was a decision she instantly regretted when Zack stepped out of the door on the left.
Drawn to him like a magnet to steel but still wary, she tried to circle past without speaking but he had reached his limit. Pivoting, he put himself firmly in her path.
“We need to talk.”
Shoulders squared, Kat gazed up at him defiantly, “About what? We had a moment, it was nice, and now it’s over. Nothing to talk about.”
His short bark of a laugh startled her. “That’s a lie.”
A raised eyebrow and a smirk met her glare at being called a liar, “My famous cop instincts, remember?”
“Fine, we had a moment, it was more than nice, and then you acted like a jerk, and now it’s over. You made me feel stupid. Rejected
. Undesirable. I’m still mad at you. What do your precious instincts say to that?”
Truth. Especially the part about him acting like a jerk.
“I never intended…oh, never mind.”
Without saying what he had intended, he reached out, pulled her against him, and slowly lowered his lips until only a breath separated them from hers. Unable to resist, she moved that fraction of an inch and felt the contact all the way down to her toes.
She might not have much basis for comparison but the man stirred up her hormones with nothing more than a gentle touch of his lips.
_,.-'~'-.,_
Emotion washed over him. She tasted like a warm summer day, the kind you had as a kid when there were no responsibilities and the day—no, your entire life—stretched out ahead of you, rife with possibility and everything seemed cleaner, clearer.
In that moment, he knew she was his future.
_,.-'~'-.,_
It wasn’t supposed to be like this. She knew that even as his kiss washed through her like liquid fire igniting her to respond. Stupid hormones, what did they know?
How did someone who had never fallen know when they were in love? Because that’s what this felt like.
Kat pressed closer, let him take the kiss deeper and dived after him. For the second time in her adult life, she wanted to know what it meant to take that final step, to drop the barriers that had kept her from knowing what it meant to love.
When he pulled back just the tiniest bit, she whispered, “More,” and dragged him back under until he broke the kiss and let his eyes search into hers. Matching her gaze to his, she saw desire there, tenderness, and things she didn’t quite understand but wanted to.
“Kat, we need to stop now while I still can.” He’d probably have to turn in his man card but he didn’t want to be her first foray into the world of physical love unless it was to take their relationship to the next level and since he had no idea what level they were on now, it was best to put a stop to it while he still could.
“I’m not asking you to stop. Or don’t you want me?”
He dragged her closer proving how very much he did want her and quirked an eyebrow at her to see if she’d gotten his point.
“Oh. I see. Then what?” This relationship stuff was harder than it looked and she was picking her way through it without much guidance.
“When we sleep together, I want it to mean something more than just satisfying your curiosity.”
Kat pulled away from him to bang her palm on her forehead a few times before stalking outside in to the cold air of a springtime night.
Zack followed and while she ranted, installed her in his car, started it to get the heater working.
“Do you have any idea how incredibly frustrating this is? I went from passing notes with ‘Do you like me? Check yes or no’ to being a full-grown adult with nothing in between. I’ve never had my heart broken, never had a boyfriend. Now I’m supposed to become part of the dating world and I have no experience. I don’t know how to act, what to say, what to do.”
“Not to put down my gender, but what stupid men have you been around if none of them could see how incredibly special you are?”
That took the rant right out of her.
The window glass felt wonderfully cool on her cheek as she rested her face there for a moment before telling him, “It was me. I decided my situation was too complicated to inflict on anyone else so I avoided getting into a relationship. Blind is enough to take on, blind and psychic was more of a burden than I ever wanted to be.”
Sympathy flooded through him then burned away like tissue in a flame, with a flare that left nothing but ash in the wind.
“Chicken.”
“Excuse me?” Glaciers were warmer than her tone.
“I have to call it like I see it and I’m not saying you were wrong to be afraid but you made the choice to close yourself off so you don’t get to play the sympathy card.”
Simple truth. Undeniable.
“But…” All the fight went out of her. “You’re right.”
“You’re wrong about another thing, too. You did get your heart broken, just not by someone else.” He paused to let his words sink in.
“My own worst enemy, so I am.”
Zack chuckled, “Yoda wisdom, there’s hope for you yet.”
Kat smiled.
“Yes.” He nodded as if she had asked a question.
“Yes what?” Had she missed something?
“The answer is yes, if you passed me a note with the check boxes on it. I’d check yes.”
Kat smiled harder as he added, “And, I’d send you back a note asking you to go steady. Check yes or no.”
“Yes.”
“Okay, now that that’s all settled, you need to know I’m not the kind of guy who puts out. At least until prom, but I might let you get to second base.”
“Silly man. Take me inside and dance with me, then.”
On the way past the table, she tossed Amethyst a twenty. Even breaking her winning streak couldn’t pull the smile from her face.
Chapter 19
It was one of those movie moments where the hero—or heroines in this case—walk toward the battle in slow motion with the wind blowing through their hair. Except that wind apparently had no effect on angels or ghosts.
Following the plan, once Julius announced it was time, Kat and Amethyst took their places in the gazebo while Galmadriel cast her shield over the structure.
Neither Logan nor the earthwalker would see them even though they sat in plain sight. Estelle left it to Tyler to alert the others and then took her favorite position on the roof to serve as lookout while Julius, using another of Galmadriel’s shields, whispered in Logan’s ear, subtly leading him toward the trap.
From her spot in the gazebo, Kat watched Julie and Gustavia move away from the safety of the house, ostensibly to clean up branches shed during harsh winter storms. Tuned in, as she was, to Julius’ energy, she felt the cold darkness ease closer and closer as Logan crept silently through the forest.
She knew when he began skirting the edge of the tree line to position himself for the strike. She felt the chill created by the earthwalker as it advanced toward the gazebo, trembled as it shivered through her.
One look at Amethyst was enough to know she, too was feeling the strain. Kat grasped the aura reader’s hand. She felt a surge of reassurance run through the energy that made up Galmadriel’s shield. The plan was working.
On cue, Logan stalked silently out of the woods completely unaware that Julie and Gustavia were aware of his proximity.
For one second, the true spirit of the man fought his way to the surface. Kat could see it in the ravaged look in his eyes, the twist of his face into a silent scream that was quickly subdued by Billy, the earthwalker. She shivered again when his eyes turned black.
The plan had sounded reasonable, even simple when they were formulating it, but now that she was finally face to face with Logan, it felt impossible. Would she be able to give Billy that last chance? Convince him to go into the light? And what if she failed? What would happen to Logan then? No matter what he had done, he deserved to be free from Billy’s influence.
That was the thought that haunted Kat as Logan unknowingly stepped into Galmadriel’s circle and the game was on.
_,.-'~'-.,_
Impending sunset painted a watercolor of pale pinks and oranges across a delicate, spring-chilled sky while the pungent smell of mud rose from earth in the early stages of thaw.
From her hidden vantage point, Estelle watched as Logan crept up on what he thought was an unsuspecting Gustavia who stood some distance away. If he had seen the way her eyes lit in anticipation, Logan might have steered clear of the woman whose body was already tensed for battle.
It would have saved him a butt whooping. Instead, he moved closer then reached out to grasp her by the shoulder.
With the speed gained by some extra training taken since their last encounter, Gustavia used the e
lement of surprise as she whirled, grabbed his arm and pulled him hard into her bent knee then when he staggered back, followed up with an uppercut to the jaw.
Breath wheezing, Logan pulled himself upright and even though she saw the short jab coming, Gustavia couldn’t fully dodge the blow. Her head snapped back as he tagged her hard enough to bring tears but not hard enough to take her out of the fight.
Instead, the blow just fueled her deadly calm and she retaliated with a left hook then stepped in to tromp on his instep. She knew he outmatched her in size but this time, she had tenacity and preparedness on her side. He took a step back to gather himself for a kick but Gustavia got there first, landing her boot-laden foot squarely between his legs with all the force she could muster. He went down with a groan, clutching himself and gasping.
Hands on hips, Gustavia stood over Logan as he lay on the ground, her chest heaving from a combination of exhilaration and exertion. Scraped skin on both sets of knuckles stung and burned, blood dripped from the split lip but she barely noticed.
Taking him down might wander into payback territory but she refused to feel bad about it. Instead, she congratulated herself for suppressing the intense desire to kick him a few more times and stalked over the where the others clustered around Galmadriel.
A wicked glint in her eye, she pointed to Kat. “Your turn.”
Kat kept one eye on the man still curled into a fetal position, the faint shadow of the entity inside him clearly visible to her psychic eye. A wave of compassion washed over her to compete with the satisfaction of having watched Gustavia get a bit of her own back.
It was a complex situation; this man had spent most of the past year terrorizing people she loved and part of her felt that he deserved the horror of being an unwilling vessel to an earthwalker. She was not proud of so petty an emotion.
“Billy,” she called out to the shadow. “We are giving you one chance to leave willingly. You can still go into the light but only by choice. That option will not be open if we have to force you out.”
Wherever She Goes (Psychic Seasons Page 13