by April Wilson
“Brown,” he says. “They were brown.”
Were? Oh, my God. I steel myself to ask. “Were?”
He nods. “The damage was extensive. My doctors couldn’t save them. I have prosthetic eyes.”
“I’m so sorry.” My normal reaction would be to reach out and touch his arm to offer sympathy for what he’s been through, but I immediately squelch the impulse. There’s no point in muddying the waters by initiating more physical contact between us. Instead, I reach for the door knob.
“Wait,” he says. “I’ll walk you to your door. I wouldn’t be much of a gentleman if I didn’t see you safely home.”
Inwardly, I chuckle. The man’s blind. I don’t think he’d be much help in an emergency, but I appreciate the gesture. “Thank you. That’s very chivalrous of you.”
Jamie removes the dog’s harness off its hook, and the dog comes bounding over to him, obviously excited to be going out again. After quickly harnessing the dog, he opens the door for us.
“Go to Molly’s door,” Jamie tells Gus, as he directs the dog toward my apartment.
“Surely he doesn’t know where I live,” I say, shutting the door behind me and following them down the hall.
“Not yet, but he’ll learn. This is all part of his training – to learn a new destination.”
Once we reach my apartment, Jamie pats my door and says “Molly’s door” several times to Gus, who listens intently, cocking his head as he watches Jamie’s hand.
I fish my key out of my purse and unlock the door. “Thanks for dinner,” I tell him.
“You’re welcome. I hope we can do it again sometime.”
“Sure. I’d like that.”
“How about tomorrow? Can I take you out for dinner?”
My breath hitches in my chest as I’m taken aback by his invitation. Is he asking me out on a date? It sure sounds like a date. I suppose I should just come right out and ask him. My heart races at the thought he’d ask me out, but then reality rears its ugly head at the thought of my ex-husband. I can’t involve Jamie in my problems. Todd can be mean and vindictive, and I wouldn’t want him to set his sights on Jamie, who can’t defend himself. “I’m sorry, I can’t. I already have plans tomorrow.”
I’m afraid he’ll suggest another time, but fortunately he doesn’t, sparing me having to come up with another excuse. Instead, he nods graciously and smiles. “Maybe another time.”
My heart sinks a little as he wishes me a good evening.
“All right, Gus, take us home,” Jamie says, and the dog leads him back down the hall.
As I watch Jamie walk away, I can’t help wondering what it might have been like if I’d met him at a different time in my life, without the specter of Todd hanging over my head like a black cloud. Things might have been very different then.
Chapter 7
Jamie
It’s close to midnight when I take Gus outside one last time before we call it a night. It’s downright frigid tonight, and I’m freezing my balls off. I don’t think Gus wants to be out here any more than I do, and thankfully he takes care of business quickly. There’s a tree planted right outside our apartment building, and it makes a convenient spot for a quick doggy pee break.
Once that’s taken care of, we head back up the steps to the apartment door. As I’m about to punch in the security access code, I hear a faint sound behind me… a quiet scuff of a shoe on the smooth stone steps. My senses instantly go on high alert because whoever’s behind me is making an effort to be stealthy, and in my experience, stealthy never bodes well for anyone.
I lower my hand from the security panel. “Can I help you?”
“Oh, hey, pal, sorry,” a man says in a friendly voice, as he pats me on the shoulder. “I didn’t mean to sneak up on you.”
The hairs on the back of my neck start tingling. I learned years ago in the military to trust my gut instincts, and they’ve served me well for many years. This guy is raising all kinds of red flags. He has no business trying to get into our building at this time of night.
Besides me and Molly, the only other residents are an elderly woman who lives alone and a young married couple. I’ve met all of them, and this guy isn’t one of them. Molly didn’t mention that she was seeing anyone. She only mentioned an ex-husband.
I have a hard time believing this guy has a legitimate reason for coming into our building. “How can I help you?” I say.
“You can let me into the building,” he says, chuckling in a buddy-buddy kind of way that confirms my suspicions. “I’m on my way up to see Molly. She’s expecting me.”
No, she’s not. “There’s the intercom. You can buzz her apartment yourself, and she can let you in.”
“Well, it’s late, and I don’t want to disturb her. Since you’re already out here, I’ll just go in with you if that’s all right.”
The guy crowds me from behind, and I’m sure it’s an attempt to slip inside the building the minute I unlock the door. Or, he’s attempting to intimidate me. Either way, it’s not happening.
“I think you’d better buzz her yourself,” I say. “Go ahead. I’ll wait.”
He exhales impatiently. “Come on, buddy, give a guy a break. It’s freezing out here!”
I’m tempted to grab this guy by the throat and smack him up against the building. Losing my patience, I give him an ultimatum. “Either buzz her yourself, or take a hike. I’m not letting you in.”
“You know what?” he growls. “Fuck you!” Then I hear his footfalls as he jogs down the steps and walks away.
I wait a couple of minutes to ensure he’s really gone. Then I punch in the access code and let myself and Gus into the building, securing the door behind us.
“Upstairs,” I tell Gus, and we head up. “Go to Molly’s door.” And I direct him to the right as I reinforce his training. I have a feeling – or maybe it’s just wishful thinking on my part – that Molly’s apartment will become a frequent destination for us.
It’s late, and I’m afraid she might already be asleep. If she is, I don’t want to disturb her. But if she’s still up, we need to have a little chat. I stand outside her door and listen for a moment. Nothing. I hear absolutely nothing. Just as I’m about to turn away and head to my own apartment, I hear Charlie’s plaintive meow, and then I hear Molly’s quiet voice as she responds. She’s awake.
I knock quietly on her door. “Molly? It’s Jamie.”
A moment later, I hear her unlocking the deadbolt and pulling the slide chain. The door opens.
“Jamie,” she says, sounding a bit wary and a whole lot sleepy.
“I’m sorry to bother you this late, but I was just on my way back inside after walking Gus when I was intercepted by a guy trying to get into the building. He said he was here to see you, and he asked me to let him in. He said you were expecting him. I suggested that he buzz your apartment, but he said he didn’t want to disturb you this late. When I refused to let him in, he left in a huff. It seemed suspicious, so I thought you should know.”
Molly takes a shaky breath and lets out a heavy sigh. “That must have been my ex-husband, Todd. I have a restraining order against him, but it hasn’t stopped him from attempting to get into the building. He’s managed to get in several times in the past few weeks to leave notes on my door.”
Now I wish I had slammed the guy into the building. “How the hell is he getting into the building?”
She laughs. “Usually it’s Mrs. Powell who lets him in. She’s just trying to be nice. I’ve asked her repeatedly not to do it, but she’s very easily confused. And Todd can be very persuasive. And the young couple downstairs might have let him in once. They didn’t mean any harm.”
My chest tightens at the idea of someone encroaching on Molly’s private space. “Have you called the police?”
“Yes, but he’s long gone before they get here. And I have no proof… I only have the notes he leaves on my door.”
I hear a slight tremor in her voice. “You’re afraid of him.”
For a moment, she hesitates, and I think she may refuse to acknowledge my statement. But eventually, she sighs. “Yes. I am. I filed for divorce about a year ago when I discovered my husband was having an affair. Once their affair ended, he started pressuring me into coming back to him.”
“I take it you don’t want to go back.”
She laughs bitterly. “Not in this lifetime.”
“If he gets into the building again, let me know. I’ll deal with him.”
I hear the swift intake of her breath.
“Jamie, no! I don’t want you getting involved in my problems. Todd can be… difficult. I wouldn’t put it past him to threaten you. Please stay out of it. I don’t want you getting hurt.”
I smile. Her concern for my welfare is touching, but misplaced. In a one-on-one confrontation, I can handle myself just fine. But Molly doesn’t know that. “Don’t worry about me, Molly. I can take care of myself.”
“Jamie….” She sounds frustrated. “Don’t underestimate Todd. Promise me you’ll steer clear of him. Please, promise me.”
“Don’t worry, Molly.” That’s the best I can do, because there’s no way in hell I’m going to make that promise.
* * *
I wait until Molly locks up before I tell Gus to take us home. She’s obviously afraid of her ex. The fact that this prick’s trying to intimidate her pisses me off. I hate bullies and predators. I’m half tempted to go back outside just to see if the guy shows up again. I’d like to put the fear of God into him, do a little bit of intimidating myself. I’ll be damned if I’ll let this guy hurt Molly.
Back in my apartment, I release Gus from duty, and he immediately goes off in search of his tennis ball. Not just any tennis ball, but his personal favorite. I grab a bottle of water from the kitchen and head to the bathroom to get ready for bed.
As I get undressed, my brain keeps replaying my interaction with Molly’s ex. She said he’d been getting into the building lately. I can only imagine that the residents in the downstairs apartments have been letting him in, probably buying his story about being Molly’s friend. I’ll have a talk with them first thing tomorrow, and make sure they know they’re not to let any unauthorized individuals into the building.
Gus follows me into the bedroom and plops down on his stuffed dog bed which lies on the floor at the foot of my bed. I crawl into bed with my phone to listen to an audiobook for a while. As I lay there, paying absolutely no attention to my book, my mind keeps wandering back to Molly, who is presumably lying in her own bed just a few dozen feet away.
Before long, Gus is snoring quietly. I stop the audiobook as it’s a lost cause now. I can’t stop thinking about Molly. She’s afraid of this guy. I could hear it in her voice. I hate the idea of her alone in her bed, possibly wondering if her ex is going to get into the building again.
I wonder if she’d be okay with me putting some surveillance cameras in the upstairs hallway. At least I’d be alerted if someone comes upstairs.
God, I wish I could see Molly. I have a generic picture of her in my mind, but it’s not the same thing as seeing her myself. But I’m a practical man, and I don’t waste time or energy lamenting what can never be. I’ll never see again. I’ve accepted that. And usually I’m okay with it. But this time… God, I think I’d give anything to see her face, just once.
As I lie here, I relive the memory of running my hands over Molly’s hair, feeling the length and the texture of it. I remember the shape of her face, the arch of her eyebrow. It’s been a long time since any woman has held my interest like this, certainly the first time since I was blinded.
When I was in the SEAL teams, I was too busy to think much about women. We were deployed so often there was hardly any time for dating. Then the explosion happened, and everything changed for me after that. My focus became relearning how to do everything without sight. Then it became learning how to be independent again. Now that I’ve gotten that far, for the most part anyway – I still have plenty of limitations – my mind and body are starting to want more. And now, when I hear Molly’s voice, that more becomes painfully obvious to me.
I never seriously considered dating after the accident. One, I had so much to relearn, I just didn’t have the time or energy to even think about it. And two – the real reason – I didn’t want to saddle any woman with a defective partner. Even though I’ve learned how to do a lot, I can’t do everything. There are some things I’ll never be able to do again. But thanks to technology, I can compensate for my blindness in many regards.
Molly’s the first woman I’ve met since my accident who makes me realize what’s missing in my life.
And why Molly? What is it about Molly that makes me think about romance and sex?
It’s not her appearance. Because I’ll never be able to see her myself, her appearance is pretty irrelevant to me.
I replay our conversation from dinner tonight. There’s something about listening to her talk that soothes me. The sound of her voice, her quiet gentleness, her compassion. I like being with her. She makes me feel good… like I’ve finally come home.
For the first time since my accident, I seriously ponder whether or not I have enough to offer a woman. I know women like my looks – I know because I’ve heard that all of my life. I have a good income – my books sell well and I’ve already got enough money socked away in the bank to retire if I wanted to. Beth tells me I’m a good listener and that women like that. She tells me I’m kind, caring, and empathetic – also that women like that. She’s been trying for months now to get me to think about dating again. She’s deliriously in love with my brother and thinks everyone else should be in love too.
As I finally doze off, I remember skimming my fingertips over Molly’s face earlier this evening, learning the shape of her nose and her lips. I remember how soft her skin felt. How good she smelled... not just the vanilla and the peppermint, but the underlying scent of her as a woman. I remember how still she stood as I touched her face and hair, like a startled doe caught in the headlights.
I like her. I like being with her. I like how she makes me feel when I’m with her. Even assuming she could possibly be interested in me – and that’s one hell of an assumption – I still have to wonder if she’d be willing to settle for a blind boyfriend.
Chapter 8
Molly
The next morning, as I leave my apartment to head to the studio, I run into Jamie and Gus in front of our building. My heart rate kicks into high gear and I feel almost giddy with excitement at seeing Jamie again. Gus is watering the lamp post like a good boy.
“Good morning,” I say, stopping.
“Good morning.” Jamie turns to face me, seeming almost bashful this morning. “We’re just taking care of morning business.”
“I see that.” I reach down to scratch Gus’s head, and he pushes his wet nose into the palm of my hand. “Hey, boy.”
“Off to work?” Jamie says.
“Yes. I have a meeting with a big client this morning to discuss a series of paintings for the Children’s Hospital.”
His brow rises. “Impressive. Do you mind if Gus and I walk with you to your shop? We were just heading out for some exercise.”
I grin like a fool, and I’m relieved he can’t see my stupid reaction. I’m sure I’m blushing like an idiot – something I seem to do a lot around him. “I don’t mind. I’d love the company.”
He offers me his arm, and I link my elbow with his. I suspect he doesn’t need me to guide him, as he has Gus, so why the close contact? Is he just being gallant? Whatever his reason, I’m thrilled for a chance to walk arm-in-arm with him.
The sidewalks are pretty crowded this time of morning as folks head to work or out for breakfast. Fortunately, the crowd makes way for Jamie, most people giving him and Gus a wide berth. I’m not surprised, though, to see quite a few women checking him out with furtive glances.
As we walk side-by-side, I can’t help sneaking peeks at him myself. He’s sexy as hell in f
aded blue jeans and a pair of well-worn hiking boots. The fit of his leather jacket emphasizes the breadth of his shoulders. The morning sun brings out hints of red in his auburn hair.
I picture him as one of the cool kids I remember from high school. He’s like one of those drool-worthy boys who roamed the school hallways completely unaware of their own appeal, as legions of besotted girls mooned over them in secret agony.
“So, tell me about your ex-husband,” Jamie says, taking me by surprise.
“My ex?” His question seems an odd one. “Why do you want to know about him?”
He shrugs. “I’m just curious.”
I don’t believe that for a second. “What do you want to know?”
“Does he have any military experience? Any martial arts training? Or weapons training? Does he own a firearm?”
These aren’t random questions. He’s assessing how much of a threat Todd is. And that makes me wonder just what Jamie’s background is. I mean, I know he’s former military, but I’m not sure how much he knows about weapons and martial arts.
“No, to all of those questions,” I finally say. “Well, I think he does have his grandfather’s old hunting rifle in his closet, but I don’t think it’s functional. He’s never shot it, at least to my knowledge. Why are you asking?”
“So I’ll know what I’m dealing with when he shows up again.”
He says when, not if. My heart stutters painfully. “Jamie, you can’t confront Todd. Please, promise me you won’t.”
He gives me a half smile, his lips curving just slightly, but says nothing.
“I’m serious!” I say.
Again, that half-smile, as if he’s trying to placate me, but has no intention of making any such promise.
He squeezes my arm. “Don’t worry.”
My heart kicks painfully in my chest. The thought of Todd setting his sights on Jamie scares me to death. Jamie’s such a nice guy, and with his disability, he wouldn’t stand a chance against Todd. I don’t want to be responsible for Jamie getting bullied, or even worse.