"I'm doing my bit for the children's home." Jasmine turned her attention to Rebecca. "This must be your lovely wife. Such a pleasure to meet you."
"Thanks," Rebecca mumbled, trying not to notice that the other woman's eyes were an enchanting color of green. Not boring brown, but green. Cat's eyes. Everything about Jasmine screamed sophistication, from her designer sandals to her tailored shorts. Rebecca tried not to remember she'd recently bought her sundress on sale for less than twenty dollars. Or the fact that her underwear was cotton. She told herself it didn't matter that her breasts were smaller than pumpkin seeds and that she was still holding a half eaten stick of cotton candy.
She realized the other woman was staring pointedly at her left hand. "May I?" she asked.
Rebecca raised her fingers to chest level.
Jasmine studied the ring. "It's beautiful. Austin, you always had exquisite taste. I wish you both every happiness."
The words all sounded right, but Rebecca could see Jasmine staring at Austin as if she'd been without food for a week and he was her favorite dish.
"Thank you," Austin said. He glanced at Rebecca. "Shall we go?"
Her battered ego took solace from the fact that he didn't seem inclined to linger in the presence of his former lover.
Maybe he was trying to avoid being tempted by what he could no longer have, she thought glumly.
She said goodbye and they left. Rebecca was proud o1 herself for not turning around to see if the other woman was: watching them, and soon they were swallowed up by the crowd.
"It's over between us," Austin said, his low voice carrying to her, despite the cacophony around them.
She stumbled. As quickly as that? He'd never even given their marriage a chance. Her stomach lurched and she dropped the rest of the cotton candy into a nearby trash can. "If you say so."
Austin stopped walking and turned to her. "You sound as if you don't believe me. I assure you I took my wedding vows seriously. I have no intention of straying."
She exhaled a sigh of relief. "You're telling me it's over between you and Jasmine."
"Of course. What did you think? "
It was too silly to explain to him. Why had she been so quick to jump to conclusions? Because Austin wasn't acting like her husband. Had she been so different? she wondered suddenly. Had she acted like his wife?
"I appreciate your telling me that," she said. Maybe he was waiting for her to set the tone in their marriage. Before giving herself a chance to change her mind, she slipped an arm though his. "What do you want to do first?"
The sun beat down. It was already in the eighties. Despite that, she felt a chill as Austin stiffened. Would he pull back? She didn't want him to. Just as she was about to lose hope, he relaxed.
"How about checking out the pavilions? It'll be cooler inside."
She nodded. They walked across the carnival grounds, ducking around running children and talking about the fund-raiser.
One little boy barreled right into Austin's jean-clad legs. Austin grabbed his shoulder with his free hand. "Go a little slower, okay?"
The boy nodded, grinned, then took off, running just as hard as he had before. Austin shook his head. "Kids."
"Oh, I would guess you were just as much of a terror when you were a kid."
"Probably," he agreed. "I never spent a lot of time at places like this, but I would have found a way to get into trouble."
"Your mom didn't bring you to local fairs?" she asked.
He shook his head. He started to pull away from her. Without thinking, she grabbed his hand. "Austin, don't. We can talk about something else if you'd rather."
They'd reached the entrance to the first pavilion. There was a short line. When they paused to wait their turn, she thought he might tug away.
"Please," she whispered, knowing she was leaving herself open to heartbreak.
He shuddered and she wondered what he was thinking. Then he slipped his fingers between hers and squeezed gently. "My mother couldn't be bothered taking me anywhere, except away from her," he said, not meeting her gaze. "It's not that it bothers me to talk about it so much as there's nothing to say about her. She spent her time looking for a rich man to support her. When it was going well, she left me alone. When it wasn't she used me to blackmail my father."
Rebecca could feel his pain. She wanted to say something comforting, but suspected he wouldn't accept it. Instead, she held on to his hand. "That would be hard for any kid to take. Do you ever see her?"
The line moved forward and they entered the building. It had a partition down the center, and both walls were covered with photographs. It was cooler inside, and people spoke with hushed voices.
"No," he said quietly. "After college I went to work for a research-and-development company and made my first big breakthrough with heat resistant material. I won an award, including a cash payment. There was a write-up in the paper and it got picked up by a wire service. About two week, later my mother showed up at my door wanting her cut of the money."
The finger gripping hers tightened. She could see the tension in his shoulders and back. His jaw thrust forward, His hurt and shame were as tangible as the building around them.
"It's the last time I ever saw her."
"I'm glad you threw her out," Rebecca said fiercely; knowing she would be happy to tell his mother what a horrible, evil pen on she was to have mistreated her child. How could anyone dare to wound a young boy, then have the nerve to approach the man and expect something for her abuse?
"I didn't send her away," he said, pulling his fingers free of Rebecca's. He tucked his hands into his pockets and rocked back on his heels. "I gave her the money."
He turned toward the closest photograph and stared as if the sunset on a farm was the most interesting picture he'd ever seen.
The empathetic side of her was almost overwhelmed by the waves of pain radiating out from him. He'd let his mother use him. Why? She closed her eyes. Because the small boy inside still needed a mother's love.
Oh, Austin, she broke you into so many pieces. Could he be mended? Was she strong enough to help? Was she strong enough to walk away? She didn't have either answer.
"It's getting late," he said, still studying the photograph. "We better get you back to the booth."
She nodded, unable to speak.
They didn't talk as they made their way through the crowds. The sun was hotter now. Rebecca felt perspiration on her back. She was grateful to duck under the awning around her booth. Mary was serving up chili. One of the teenage helpers smiled gratefully when offered a break.
"Don't work too hard," Austin said, his voice impersonal. They hadn't talked since his confession. Rebecca wanted to get through to him, but she didn't know the right words. She wasn't even sure there were any.
"Rebecca, look what I got!" David came running up, carrying a small red bear. "I won it at the ring toss. All by myself."
"Good for you." She bent over his prize. "It's wonderful I've never won anything. You must be very talented." She brushed his hair out of his face. "Are you thirsty? There's soda in that cooler." She nodded toward the white box in the back. David left the bear in her care and ran off.
"How's he doing?" Austin asked.
"He's fine. I've spoken with the family lawyer, but he doesn't have any good news. David's relatives are talking about putting him up for adoption. Even with the promise of his inheritance, none of them want him." She shook her head. "I don't understand people sometimes. How can they be so awful? "
Austin surprised her by bending over the rope cordoning off the booth and kissing her fiercely on the mouth. "Don't ever stop expecting the best of people. Promise?"
She touched her hand to her lips. "Sure."
David reappeared with a soda. "Austin! I didn't know you were here, too. Did you see my bear?"
"It's great." He crouched down and smiled at the boy. "You want to go on a ride with me?"
The boy yelped with excitement. "Yeah! Wow! That's great. Re
becca, we're going on rides."
"I heard." She didn't dare look at Austin. Her eyes were misty, and she knew he would tell her to quit making him into a hero. He would remind her that he was just a bastard, not a nice guy at all.
"We'll be back in a couple of hours."
"Perfect," she said, watching them walk away.
"Rebecca, you're pretty enough to be a decoration, but we need another pair of hands here to serve the chili," Mary called.
Rebecca laughed, then reached for one of the big aprons lying across a table in the back of the booth. "I'm coming." Still watching David and Austin out of the corner of her eye, she made her way up to the front and started taking orders.
Two hours later, she was ready for a break. Mary, one of the few people who knew about her pregnancy, insisted she get off her feet.
"I'm too hot to protest," Rebecca said as she was ushered to a folding chair in the shade of an elm tree behind the booth. She'd barely taken her first sip from her glass of water when Austin and David came around the corner.
They were both laughing. David's action-figure T-shirt was definitely dirtier than she remembered. There was a new stain on the front that looked suspiciously like chocolate ice cream. Austin's eyes had lost their troubled expression. When the boy saw her and called out, Austin glanced in her direction. For once, his smile was easy and welcoming.
"Did you have fun?" she asked as David crawled into her lap.
"Yup. We went on a roller coaster and the Ferris wheel twice."
Austin dropped to the ground beside her chair and leaned against the trunk of the tree. "I'm glad I didn't eat more of your cotton candy. My stomach isn't that young anymore."
Rebecca leaned close to David and ruffled his hair. "How old is your stomach?"
The boy laughed at the question. His blue eyes crinkled with delight. "It's as old as me. Seven." He held up the appropriate number of fingers.
She smiled back and glanced at her husband. But Austin wasn't laughing. He was looking at her with the oddest expression. As if he saw something he wanted more than life itself, but couldn't have. For a second she thought he was aroused, but then she saw the bleakness in his eyes and the straight line of his mouth.
She wanted to ask what was wrong. He wouldn't tell her though. He would deny there was a problem. What was it? Envy? She bit down on her lower lip. For what?
"My bear liked the rides, too," David said, holding up the small stuffed animal.
"Did he?" she asked, paying only half attention to the conversation.
David nodded. "He had fun today. Like me."
"Like you?" Rebecca cupped the boy's face in her hands. "I can tell you had fun. You have dirty cheeks and ice cream on your shirt." She dropped a kiss on his nose. David giggled.
She glanced at Austin. Unabashed longing swept across his face. For her? No. It wasn't like that.
Understanding dawned. To test her theory, she casually rested one hand on David's back and used the other to brush his hair out of his face. Austin looked away as if it had become too much to bear.
It was the touching that got to him, she thought sadly. Not the sexual contact between a man and a woman, but the loving contact between friends, between an adult and a child, between a mother and her son. She remembered all she knew of his early life and suspected no one had ever taken the time to hold him. He was hungry for physical human contact. Excitement gripped her. Had she just found the way to reach her husband?
"Rebecca!"
A familiar voice called her name. She looked up and saw Travis hurrying toward her. Elizabeth followed more slowly.
Rebecca set David on the ground and stood up. Travis was pale, his breathing rapid. "What's wrong?" she asked.
Elizabeth smiled. "My handsome prince is falling apart." She winced, then drew in a deep breath. "Finally, after being two weeks late, I think it's time."
"Oh, God, what can I do to help?" Rebecca asked.
Elizabeth took her husband's arm. "Would the two of you mind coming with us to the hospital? I think Travis is going to need someone to hold his hand."
* * *
Chapter 11
« ^ »
The waiting room at the hospital was painted a cheerful shade of yellow. Sofas and chairs lined the area. A TV blared from one corner. On a table sat a collection of parenting magazines.
Rebecca smiled as she watched Austin and Kyle pace the floor. Austin was as unreadable as ever, although she thought she saw tension in the set of his shoulders and the line of his mouth. Kyle didn't bother to hide his feelings. He was almost as pale as Travis had been when he'd gone in with Elizabeth.
When Rebecca had first moved to Glenwood, Travis had given her the rush. She'd been ready for a relationship, but within ten minutes of their first date they'd both admitted to a distinct lack of chemistry between them. Instead of lovers, they'd become close friends. She'd seen firsthand the trail of broken hearts left by the Haynes boys and their good buddy Austin. Funny to think such a short time later that both Travis and Austin were married men. At least in Travis's case, it had been a bond formed by love.
"Do you think she's going to be all right?" Kyle asked as he paced in front of her. He still wore his khaki deputy's uniform. His hair was rumpled from his constantly running his fingers through the curls.
"Elizabeth said she had Mandy in about eight hours with no trouble. A second child is supposed to be easier than the first. She'll be fine." She patted his arm.
He gave her an absent smile, then continued his path across the room and back. When Austin stalked by her, she stepped in front of him. "How are you holding up?" she asked.
He shrugged. "Better than him," he said, jerking his thumb at Kyle. "I hope Jordan and Craig get here soon and calm him down. His brothers always did a better job of that than I could."
"So you're not worried at all?"
His gray eyes held hers. "About Elizabeth? No."
The unspoken comment was that he was worried about her. She bit back a smile, not ready to let him know that his concern pleased her. She glanced around the empty waiting room. It was time to test her theory about Austin's behavior earlier at the carnival. Did he secretly long for the comfort of a woman's touch? What if she'd misjudged the entire incident with David, and Austin turned away from her? She reminded herself that they were already sleeping in separate rooms. It couldn't get much worse. "I'd like something to drink," she said, placing her fingertips on his forearm. "I saw a soda machine in the hallway. Will you please come with me?"
"Sure." He glanced at Kyle, still pacing. "Want something to drink?"
"Scotch?" the deputy asked hopefully. Kyle shook his head. "I'll just stay here in case there's any news."
Rebecca led the way to the double glass doors that opened onto the hallway. Even in the maternity ward, hospital smells overwhelmed everything. The combination of antiseptic and the lunch that had been served several hours before made her wrinkle her nose.
When they reached the soda machine, Austin fished several coins out of his pocket. He handed them to her. "Can you drink anything here?" he asked.
"Sure." She studied the displayed labels. "I have to avoid caffeine, but that's all." She dropped in the coins, then bent over and collected the cold can. When she handed Austin the remaining change, he chose a drink for himself, then they started back toward the waiting room.
A mother, her baby in her arms, was being wheeled down the hallway. Rebecca stepped to one side to let her pass. When Austin moved next to her, she took advantage of their closeness to take a small step back, bringing her shoulder in contact with his chest.
Instantly heat flared between them. She told herself to ignore her sexual urges. She was conducting an important emotional experiment.
After the woman had been wheeled past, Rebecca waited before moving. Austin didn't slide away. That was good. When she couldn't think of an excuse not to start walking, she kept her pace slow, making sure their arms brushed. At the entrance to the waiting roo
m, Austin held the door open for her. She had to struggle to keep from grinning. He wasn't avoiding her, even though she'd spent the past fifteen minutes practically glued to his side. She dared to be hopeful.
Kyle looked up as they entered. "Any news?" she asked.
He shook his head. "Do you really think Elizabeth is going to be okay? What if something happens to her? Jeez, Travis can't lose her now. He's the only one of us to find somebody worth keeping."
"Kyle, you're overreacting," Rebecca said. "Women have babies all the time. Elizabeth is young and healthy, and she's already had one child. There's no reason to be afraid."
The door opened and a strange man stumbled in. His pale features were drawn. He looked as if he hadn't slept or shaved in three days.
When he saw the other people in the room, he smiled weakly. "My wife and I just had a boy, almost eight pounds." He sank onto one of the chairs and shuddered. "Oh, God, I don't know how we got through it. The pain kept coming. I don't know how she stood it. I told her to scream, but she wouldn't. I tried to help. I tried to remind her about her breathing." He dropped his head into his hands. "It was horrible. I just wanted to run. It's not like in the movies, ya know? How can I ever face her again?"
Rebecca watched the rest of the color drain from Kyle's face. Even Austin looked a little shaken. She walked over to the man. "How's your wife now?"
"Fine." He looked up at her. His eyes were bloodshot. "Her folks are with her, and everyone is happy. Like it never happened. Not me. I'll carry this to my grave." He lurched to his feet. "I'd better go check on her." He glanced around at the three of them and smiled vaguely. "Good luck." The door swung shut behind him.
Kyle dropped onto the nearest chair.
"Elizabeth is going to die."
"No, she's not," Rebecca said briskly. "Men. You're less than useless. Try to keep a positive outlook, Kyle. If something was wrong, we'd have been told."
"If there was time," he said morosely.
She crossed to Austin and smiled up at him. "I give up."
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