Mountain Angel (Northstar Angels, Book One)
Page 9
Aelissm dreaded opening the letter from Adam and wondered what it contained. It made her angry, too, because this was her home, damn him, her last refuge, and just when she’d started to relax a bit and enjoy it again, Adam had done something to ruin it.
She pulled up to the gate and June got out to open it after carefully pushing Luke upright. The boy murmured something incoherent as his head rolled back against the seat, then he slipped into sleep once again. What a pair she and June were tonight, Aelissm thought, watching as her friend swung the gate open with fury stiffening her movements. All it had taken to shatter their all-too-brief moments of carefree abandon was a letter from Seattle. Aelissm had fallen back into her now-habitual state of trepidation while June’s thoughts had returned to her ruined night. The air of happiness had soured, which made Aelissm feel all the more trapped and helpless. There had been a time when no problem had ever lasted long, when something as inconsequential as a bad date would have been shrugged off in a handful of heartbeats in favor of having a good time. That was perhaps one of the worst things about Adam’s obsession with her. The running, the fear, was all temporary… it had to be. What if, when this was all over, she couldn’t return to herself? What if this scared little rabbit was who she remained, broken and unwilling to truly live?
Aelissm thought of the conversation she’d overheard between Pat and Bill, about what Pat had said to her. He had ended his relationship three years ago, but the wound was still as painful as it had been that day, a festering abscess that sucked the happiness from life. It struck Aeli as strange because, if Pat had ended it, why was he still so torn up about it? From the tone of his voice when he’d called his old flame a bitch, she gathered that he didn’t regret his decision. She didn’t want to spend the rest of her years like that, existing, and she didn’t want him to, either. His plight called to her, though she knew so little about what had happened.
If Uncle Bill, June, Luke, Grandma and Grandpa all loved him already—and trusted him with her—he couldn’t be like Bryce. Her history with Bryce made her doubt her own instincts about people and made it hard to believe her heart when it agreed with her family. In the short time he’d been in Northstar, he’d been nothing but polite, helpful and enjoyable. And without word from Adam, she’d almost been able to believe he was here solely for a little R and R. Bill’s words this afternoon, talking about Pat, had hinted that he was playing the meddlesome matchmaker again. Considering what she’d seen so far from her uncle’s detective and by the glowing opinions of those closest to her, Aelissm could understand Uncle Bill’s hopefulness. Pat was a man any woman would be lucky to call her own.
When June climbed back into the cab after shutting the gate behind the truck, Aelissm asked what her friend had meant at the potluck. “You weren’t warning me that he might turn out to be like Bryce.”
“No,” June replied. “You’ve both been hurt before.”
June didn’t say anything else and Aelissm didn’t ask for more detail. When they reached June’s cabin, they said nothing more than a dispassionate good-bye. June roused Luke from his slumbers and Aelissm watched the pair until they reached the front door. June turned to wave, then Aelissm turned around and headed back down the driveway. As she came closer and closer to her own home, her dread grew. In just a few short minutes, she would open the letter, read it, and then Pat would read it. And then what? There was never anything beyond the next few minutes anymore.
Aelissm pulled up beside Pat’s truck in front of the cabin and turned off the engine. She sat for a moment in the dark, her heart thumping in her chest. Instead of going inside, she flipped on the dome light and opened the envelope of Adam’s letter with her truck key. She willed her fingers to be still and strong, but they disobeyed. Carefully unfolding the letter, she found, as she knew she would, Adam’s shaky handwriting and read the passages three times before their words finally sank in.
My dearest Aelissm, he wrote. Why have you run away from me again? I love you as Bryce never could and never would. I saved you and in return you cower from me. I am tired of chasing you. Maybe Bryce was right. You are a cock-tease. But you’re mine and I don’t care. Do you remember that night, when Bryce tried to hurt you and I saved you? You ran away from me, too. You can’t run forever, Aelissm. I have always found you and I will find you again. I love you. Why can’t you see that? I love you. I’ll see you soon, Aeli.
She wanted to cry when she read his closer. Love always, Adam Winters.
When she stepped into her house, she was greeted by dry, soothing heat from her woodstove and a handsome, smiling man holding a plate of re-heated food that smelled delicious.
“How was your day?” he asked.
She opened her mouth to answer, but couldn’t find her voice. She met his gaze, pleading for something she couldn’t name, not knowing what she needed from him. Pat set the plate on the table and walked over to her, concern in his eyes. Her knees wobbled and when she tried to take a step forward, they buckled. She never hit the floor. Instead, she found herself supported in Pat’s arms, held firmly to his chest. Compared to the rampaging quivers of her own body, Pat stood steady.
“Aelissm? What’s wrong?”
At the moment, she didn’t have the power to answer. The only strength she seemed to have was in her fingers, which gripped Pat’s arms so tightly she expected him to complain. He didn’t, but slid an arm behind her malfunctioning knees and lifted her the rest of the way off the ground—bag and all—so effortlessly that she might have been a small child rather than a full-grown woman. As he carried her to the loveseat, she felt fragile and treasured and the combination was deadly to her tattered nerves. Tears threatened and she swore to keep them contained.
“C’mon, Aelissm, sweetheart,” Pat said, settling her down. “What’s wrong?”
He didn’t move away, for which she was grateful. She needed something to hang on to and as far as that went, there was nothing or no one better than Pat at this particular moment. He set her bag and her mail on the floor beside the couch. The letter from Adam was still clutched tightly in her fist; a corner peeked through her fingers. He glanced at it, but didn’t ask about it.
“Talk to me, sweetheart. What happened?”
“He knows where I am,” she choked out. Tears seeped from her eyes, but she no longer cared.
“What do you mean, Aeli?”
“Here. He sent this.”
She opened her fingers, cringing at the ache in her knuckles from holding them so tightly around the letter. Without letting her go, Pat uncoupled the letter and read it. Aelissm couldn’t seem to get hold of herself. Her body shook uncontrollably and the only two thoughts in her head that were clear enough to grasp contrasted each other so sharply that she couldn’t draw a deep breath. Adam knew about Northstar and he would find it. She was in danger and she couldn’t begin to imagine what he would do to her for causing him so much trouble. But Pat was here. He would keep her safe.
“I’m scared, Pat,” she murmured. “He’ll find me again. And I don’t have anywhere else to go.”
“You don’t have to run anymore,” he replied. “I’m here now.”
A fresh round of tears sprang to her eyes at those words. Pat couldn’t have known just what it meant to have him there, watching over her, and that just made his assertion all the sweeter.
“It’s just a letter, Aeli, sweetheart. And it’s post-marked from Seattle, two weeks ago. I’m not saying your worries are unfounded, because I don’t think they are. But all he has are your phone number and your post office box.”
“And Northstar. Pat, he has Northstar now. Don’t you see?” she sat up and stared at him, using his face to fight the hysteria that laced through her veins. That face, so strong and yet so beautiful, helped her keep her shaky grip on her sanity.
“Yes, he has Northstar, too, but Northstar is a difficult place to find.”
She shook her head fervently. “Not for him. He always finds me! God! This will never end!”
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br /> Pat grabbed her shoulders and held her gaze. The pressure of his fingers restored some sense of order to her chaotic mind.
“I swear to you, Aeli, it will end.”
“Don’t say that if you don’t mean it.”
“I don’t make empty promises.” He brushed her hair back from her face with such tenderness that she closed her eyes and involuntarily leaned into his touch. “My poor, sweet angel. No one should have to live like this, afraid of the shadows.”
“You do,” she whispered, her eyes still closed. When she slowly lifted her lids, she found Pat frowning, memories darkening his eyes.
“That’s different.”
“Is it? How is working yourself to death to hide from your past any different than me hiding in Northstar?”
At long last, Aelissm found her strength of will again. How could he pity her situation and not see that his own was so similar? She waited for him to speak, expecting him to argue with her and deny the truth. For a long time, he remained silent, his brow furrowed in deep thought. When he finally addressed her accusation, his words were to the point, but not what Aeli expected.
“You’re right.”
Her mouth fell open.
“Not what you were expecting me to say, is it?” he asked. “But you are right, Aeli. I am hiding.”
“And?”
“That stops right now. Hey, I am on vacation, after all.”
“Of a sort, I suppose.”
“I can tell you, I haven’t been this relaxed in a long time.” He rose to his feet and offered a hand to help her up. “It’s late. We should probably get you fed and tawdle up to sleep.”
She took his hand and smiled. The last remaining shivers from Adam’s letter slipped away and Aelissm wallowed in the simplicity of enjoying a surprisingly delicious meal in the company of a handsome, attentive man. Pat, she decided, was exactly what she needed right now. It had been so easy, so nice to fall apart in his arms.
Chapter Six
A PLEASED SMILE lifted the corners of Pat’s mouth as he tilted his face upward to greet the ray of light filtering through the bottlebrush branches of the lodgepole pines. Aelissm’s lips curved in response. She wondered if he knew how beautiful he was, with his hands tucked loosely in the pockets of his jeans and the golden morning sun alight in his dark red-brown hair. Just the way he stood, so gracefully at ease, made her heart flutter. Pat O’Neil was a very sexy man—and shockingly unconscious about it—and, right now, he was all hers.
“I could get used to this,” Pat murmured. Slowly, he opened his eyes again and turned his smile on Aelissm. “You’re lucky.”
“How so?” she asked.
“You’ve always had this.”
It took a moment to pull free from her fantasy and grasp what he was saying. She could think of all kinds of things she’d like him to get used to that would also make her a lucky woman, but from the expression of innocent delight on his handsome face, she doubted he was thinking along the same lines. Too bad, she thought, then scolded herself. Pat wasn’t ready to engage in a relationship and neither was she, but it was becoming more and more difficult to ignore the more basic urges excited by living with him in a mountainside cabin.
Focusing her brain, she said, “You know, when we were kids, June and I used to talk about living up here. We laughed about how our kids would grow up together, like we did, and learn to love all the things we enjoy. For a while in there, when I was engaged to Bryce, that dream sort of… slipped away. Yet, here I am, walking down Wellman Creek Road and if I look just up the hill… there’s June’s cabin, half-hidden in the trees.”
“So your dream came true.”
“In a way. We’re here, yes, but a lot has changed. June has Luke and as envious as that makes me some days, I’m not sure I even want kids anymore. Life just seems too unstable to bring a new life into it.”
“But before Bryce and Adam, you wanted kids?”
“Yeah. A career, marriage, kids… it all seemed like the natural path my life would take. I have my career, but the rest doesn’t feel real anymore.”
Pat watched her with such gentle compassion and empathy in his gaze that she wondered what things he had once wanted from life. Certainly he hadn’t envisioned himself alone at twenty-eight, working himself too hard to escape the memories of a woman. She knew she shouldn’t pry, but curiosity got the best of her.
“What about you?”
He shrugged and for a disappointing moment, she thought he wouldn’t answer. Then he said softly, “I suppose the same things. A career, marriage, kids. Not so much anymore. Now, I’m like you, living from one day to the next, just trying to get through without being buried by the disappointments of life. It’s a pity, too, Aelissm. Because you and I have—or had—so much going for us. We thought the world was perfect, until it started spinning backwards.”
“Tell me about it.” She snorted. “I’ve wasted so much time being afraid of Adam….”
“What is it about him that scares you the most? Was it his part in Bryce’s death?”
“No….” Aelissm frowned. Although recalling the dark shine in Adam’s eyes that night still made her shiver, that wasn’t it. Instead of replying, she shrugged. “There isn’t a safe subject with us, is there? Everything goes back to how shitty life is. We can’t even talk about something as normal and mundane as whether or not we want children. Maybe we ought to just stick to the weather. That’s always safe, right?”
“Always. So, tell me,” Pat said as he stripped out of his sweater. “It snowed the day after I got here, warmed up for a few days, snowed again, warmed up and rained, and yesterday was clear but cool. Is spring here always this unpredictable?”
“Usually… yes,” Aelissm replied. “So don’t be surprised if it snows again tomorrow.”
She glanced skyward at the small window of blue above the bristly canopy of the forest, noting that the cirrus clouds had thickened some from yesterday’s thin, gossamer wisps. These cirrus were the heralds of hot weather, not cold. Pausing for a moment in their walk, she concentrated on the air. It was still a little cool, but warming quickly and the crispness that had been in the air yesterday was gone, leaving the gentle weight of humidity. Well, as much humidity as there ever was so far up in the mountains. She hadn’t been back in Northstar for a full year yet and already she was acclimated and able to sense the minute signs of a change in the weather to which her guardian was oblivious. The thought brought a light smile to her face.
“You’re serious?”
Aeli stared at Pat, realizing how deeply lost in thought she’d been. “What?” she asked.
“You really think it might snow tomorrow.”
“What makes you think I’m serious?”
“You looked rather… intent, like you were considering the weather as if it might really snow tomorrow.”
Aren’t you a quick one? Aelissm thought. He’s got that same irritating ability to read people that June has. But then, being a detective, I guess he’d have to. “The weather’s going to change, but in the opposite direction.”
“How do you know that?”
His question was one of genuine curiosity, so she explained about the clouds and the quality of the air and he listened with rapt attention. Bryce never would have asked the question, let alone honestly want to know the answer. Aelissm winced at the thought, then quickly forgot it when her eyes again landed on Pat’s enticing body. There were vast differences between her dead fiancé and her uncle’s detective and it had only become more staggeringly clear this morning.
Against her better judgment, Aeli glanced at Pat again as they turned around at the bottom of June’s driveway. Pat fit so well in his surroundings, as if he belonged right here at the end of Wellman Creek Road with the mountain-fresh air in his lungs and the peace of Northstar in his heart. It fascinated her endlessly that Pat was no more a natural city-dweller than she was. With a start, she realized that her curiosity about him was doing far more good than harm.
“Isn’t that your phone ringing?” Pat inquired as they neared the cabin.
“My phone?”
“Yeah. Hear it?”
Aelissm raced inside, but when she reached to answer the call, her hand hesitated. “For God’s sake, this is stupid,” she muttered and snatched the receiver. “Hello?”
“Hi, Aelissm,” the caller replied. “It’s Nick.”
Breath rushed from her lungs in a sigh of relief. “Oh, Nick. Hi. How are you?”
“Good. Tired.”
“I imagine so. How’s Beth? And your little monkey?”
Nick chuckled. “You would call him that. They’re fine. Hey, that’s why I’m calling.”
“I’m not baby-sitting for you, Nick, so don’t even ask.” Actually, Aelissm admitted, the thought was rather appealing. Irritated with the unexpected turn of her thoughts, she looked to the door to find Pat walking inside.
“That’s not why I called, so don’t worry. Beth told me to stop fussing over her and Will and get out of the house before she skins me. So, I thought, with the weather so nice, it’d be a great day to take Pat on that ride.”
“Your dad doesn’t need you to help with plowing?”
“No. He’s got Aaron and Henry.”
“Well, in that case, I’m sure he needs you.”
“Ain’t that the truth? But he’s got Pete Landers and a couple other valley hands helping out today. And Old Matt’s down there, too.” Nick paused. “You know, Aelissm, it almost sounds like you’re trying to weasel your way out of something… or into it. Don’t tell me you want some private time with Pat. You live on the side of a mountain. How much more privacy could you ask for? Only way you’re going to get that is to hike up to one of the lakes, like Sawtooth. That’s romantic, let me tell you. That’s where Will happened.”