We’re less than an inch apart when she laughs humorlessly, her sweet breath fanning across my face. Her finger jabs into my chest and my hands fall from her body. “Let me tell you something, Xavier. You can’t just break a girl who grew up without her mama. You can't. Because we're the toughest kind. When a girl faces this cold, hard world without the softness of a mother's touch and she grows the thickest skin. Throw in an alcoholic dad that she constantly has to save from himself and it's like putting lipstick on a sheet of Teflon. That's me. Teflon Sadie...I hate that I let Cobi make me forget that for a minute. But I’m all good now. No man will ever again make me forget who I am. Okay?”
And the way she says it, I know that last part was aimed right at me. I’m no better than that Cobi guy. I’ve made her doubt herself, her worth, her beauty. Bile rises from my stomach on that realization.
“Sadie…” I want to reason with her, let her know that she deserves to be treated like a queen but she’s done listening to me.
“Thank you for looking out for me, but I’m fine.” She slides off the edge of the sink, making her way to my pile of clothing on the floor near the bathroom. She shoves it hard into my chest. Then, she grabs a business book from the table behind her. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a busy evening ahead of me.”
I can’t keep doing this to her. It’s not fair and I know it. I’ve been sending her mixed messages, twisting up her head. I’ve been making her bear the push and pull of the war between my desire and my conscience. I have no right to demand that she listen to me or give me any more of her time. So when I’m done repairing the air conditioner, I walk out the door without looking back. And the door slams after me.
14
sadie
I got the jooobbb!”
Weaving through the maze of tables and chairs, Susan comes charging at the cash register just before closing time. Her rigid suit jacket is all bunched up at the shoulders and the hem of her blouse hangs halfway out of her waistband but she doesn’t care.
“Oh my god! That’s so great!” I round the counter, arms spread for a hug and I get a rush of wild, red curls to the face as we embrace. “I’m so happy for you!”
“Thank you!” she beams. “I was so damn stressed. Now, I need, like, a dozen cupcakes to celebrate.”
She doesn’t have to ask me twice. Tongs in hand, I’m already boxing up those chocolate espresso babies. “So, I’m guessing the second interview went well? You must be relieved. ”
Susan’s shoulders heave and I can literally see the tension rolling away. “Relieved is an understatement. Jesus—I’ve never had to suck so many dicks in my life.” My head snaps up and my eyes bulge. She freezes and her eyes shift away guiltily. “Metaphorically, speaking…Maybe.”
I howl out laughing. I can’t help but tease. “OMG. You dirty, little cocksucker. Climbing the corporate ladder on your knees. Classy.”
She pouts. “Say what you want. Life is survival of the fittest. Morality and workplace ethics do not pay the bills.” She lowers her voice as her arm goes up for a high five. “And I mean, you probably already knew that. Tell me you haven’t worked out a mutually beneficial ‘payment plan’ with your hottie landlord. You’re banging him by now, right?”
“Sadie?”
Susan’s arm freezes in midair at the sound of Reese’s voice. My head snaps over my shoulder to look at her.
Right then, Vivian shows up in the doorway next to her sister, nestling a steaming cup of tea in her hands. They both wear grave looks on their faces and my stomach roils. I leave Susan hanging.
Oh god.
“Hey boss.”
“Can you get someone to cover the floor for you?” Reese braces a hand on her baby bulge and swipes a chocolate peanut butter cupcake from the display. “We’re ready for our meeting.”
Nat comes around the corner with a bucket and mop in hand. She flashes me a nervous look. “I’ve got it,” she volunteers and nods her chin in a subtle show of support as she heads over to the sink to wash her hands.
I flash a nervous but grateful smile at my friend and follow the sisters into the back office. Viv sits behind the desk. Reese plops into the armchair next to me. I lower myself slowly into the vacant chair. My guts are all twisted up. My palms are sweaty. I can see the end drawing near. I’m about to lose my job.
“So, are you banging your hottie landlord yet?”
At Reese’s words, a stream of herbal tea comes jetting out of Vivian’s nostrils. “Reese!” she hisses. “So inappropriate!”
“What?” the younger sister says with an innocent shoulder shrug. Her chin gestures in my direction. “She seems nervous about the meeting. I was breaking the ice.” Reese’s attention moves back to me. Her head tilts to the side in question. “So are you?”
I don’t normally blush but right now, I feel the fire in my cheeks.
Vivian leers at her sister. “Can we just focus on the reason we called this meeting? Please?”
Reese throws her swollen ankles up onto the desk and peels back the wrapper around her cupcake. “Sure.” She groans with pleasure on the first bite.
Her older sister tsks. "No more sweets, Theresa. Remember? OBGYN's orders.”
Reese throws out her palm in a chill out motion. "Viv—I didn't choose the cupcake life. The cupcake life chose me. I think the baby understands."
I chuckle even though the anxiety is still right there at the surface, strangling me. It’s true that I’ve just gotten this scholarship but I have my doubts about whether it’s legit. I spent hours searching for information about that foundation on the internet and came up empty-handed. I don’t want to gamble all my eggs on a basket that might have a huge hole in the bottom. And besides, I like my job, I like my coworkers and I like getting a paycheck. I don’t want to lose that.
Before either of them can get another word out, I’m already pleading to save my hide. “Look—I really, really like working here and I love managing the team. I know that things have been bumpy at times over the past few weeks but I’m working on making everything better. And I don’t know what I did to get in trouble but I promise I’ll fix it—”
Reese gives me a small smile and pats my hand softly. “Sadie, you’re not in trouble. You’re doing a fantastic job.”
“And we trust you,” Vivian adds. “You’ve earned our trust with the way you’ve been managing the business. We’re really proud of the work you’ve done. That’s why we have a request for you.”
I swallow. “A request?”
“We’ve been thinking about opening a new location,” Vivian announces.
Reese corrects her. “Several new locations, actually. In surrounding areas. Chicago, Springfield, Reyfield. You name it.”
Vivian gives her overzealous sister a hard look and speaks purposefully. “But we want to make this decision wisely. We want to take our time. Research the viability of the idea. Make sure we aren’t jumping into anything.”
Reese tosses her sister a side-eye. “Anyway…with me getting my butt kicked by morning sickness all day and Viv being busy screwing Clinton’s brains out every chance she gets—” Vivian flicks a paperclip across the table and I laugh “—we won’t be able to do all the legwork ourselves…We’re gonna need your help.”
“Wh-what?” My breath comes out sharp and shaky.
“Reese is downplaying the situation,” Vivian bends forward and whispers. “Sadie, we’re gonna need you to spearhead the whole thing. Do you think you can handle that?”
The younger sister rolls her eyes at Vivian. “You’re gonna scare her off,” she mutters roughly. I’m giggling, head light and giddy, as her eyes turn back to me, pleading. “Really, all you’ll have to worry about is doing the market research stuff. Coming up with a business plan…” Reese tells me naively, “That’s simple, right?”
It’s not simple. It’s a big fucking deal. But I’m up to the task. I’m definitely up to the task.
The sisters are entrusting me with something really import
ant. It’s a huge vote of confidence.
I straighten my spine and lift my chin even though I’m scared as hell. “Yes, I can handle that. I’d be honored to.”
Viv sits up in her chair and claps excitedly.
“That’s what I was hoping you’d say.” Reese winks and bites into her cupcake again.
“I’m thrilled that you guys would come to me for this. You have no idea what it means—”
There's a knock at the door and all eyes go in that direction. "Come in," Reese hollers over her shoulder.
The door swings open and her fiancé, Leo, sticks his head into the office. "Good afternoon, ladies."
Darn, he’s hot!
The super-DILF’s eyes narrow in on his soon-to-bride as Viv and I singsong a "Good afternoon" in reply.
"Hey babe." Reese's eyes are affectionate but confused. "What are you doing here?"
He chuckles incredulously. "Doctor's appointment. Like we talked about fifteen minutes ago."
She slaps her forehead. "Oh right. Yes, of course. Baby brain.”
The two of them used to be neighbors right after Leo moved to Copper Heights. He needed someone to watch his son, Brenton, after school. Reese stepped up to the task. Before you know it, they discovered their mutual love of bumping uglies. And then they fell in love. This is the happily ever after part.
Ever the perfect gentleman, Leo comes over to help Reese out of her seat. He takes a closer look at her and rolls his eyes, a knowing smile on his lips. “You have frosting all over your face, Cupcake Girl.”
Her cheeks turn red as she giggles. “Help!” she pleads meekly, batting her eyes up at him.
"My pleasure." He leans down and not-so-discreetly kisses the icing sugar off the corners of her lips.
Her facial expression? Pure euphoria.
Then they whisper indecipherable love words to each other as she feeds him the last bite of her cake and he licks her fingers, too.
And there’s that old jealousy in my chest again. That longing to have something like that with someone special. Some day.
Viv just sort of snorts under her breath. “Get a room, you two. Nobody wants to see all that mess.”
I laugh.
And the thought of Xavier pops into my mind. I’ve been thinking about him. A lot. Ever since he intervened the other day when Cobi was giving me a hard time. I don’t need a knight in shining armor. I’m perfectly fine defending myself. Still, it was nice having someone stick up for me. That hasn’t happened much in my life. I hate admitting that I want more of that. More of him.
As I sit here, I try to push him out but it’s useless. It’s his face I see smiling down at me, it’s his fingers I feel splaying on my pregnant belly in my stupid, stupid daydream.
I wish I weren’t so damn smitten with that smug, confusing, infuriating man.
15
xavier
I’m having a hard time paying attention in my AA meeting today. My eyes keep darting back to the news headline on the screen of my phone.
As Queen’s Health Worsens, Prince Edmund Well-Poised to Take Throne
My gut clenches every time I watch the picture accompanying the article from that Ridgeland Daily News. It’s my father and his tiara-loving arm-piece grinning widely for the cameras at some red-carpet event.
The article goes on to detail the many public appearances that the royal couple has made in recent weeks on behalf of the Queen. They even speculate that Grandmum might be contemplating abdication in order to take time away from the spotlight and enjoy what little time she has left.
When I first read the article, I immediately called Thomas. He wasn’t able to provide the reassurance I was looking for. He told me that Grandmum is completely bedridden, barely able to lift her head from the pillow at this point. The press is unaware of this detail. A shiver runs through me whenever I recall the way his voice dropped to a panicked murmur and he said, “I’m really worried, Sir.”
I may be trying my hardest to hide from my reality, to evade my responsibilities toward the Monarchy but it doesn’t change a thing. My grandmother is dying. How can this be happening?
She’s always been tougher-than-titanium, larger-than-life, more than a mere woman…and now she’s dying? Coming face-to-face with her mortality is jarring. The Queen can’t just die.
All my life I’ve been fairly certain that if you cut her open, you’d find a network of steel rods and wire circuits. Proof that she’s not like all the rest of us. She’s always been superhuman. To me, at least.
I can’t come to grips with it. I don’t know how. That’s why I just want to stay here in Copper Heights and hide out. It feels safe here. For the first time in a long time, I feel safe.
Being near Sadie makes me feel safe.
I’m trying to fight it. I’m trying to resist. But every time she smiles at me, that deep, cold, empty well inside of me fills up with warmth, just a little bit more. She’s fun and unapologetic and too beautiful for words. And I just want to hold her, to build a fortress around us. A place where nothing else can infiltrate. Just me and her.
That’s not realistic, though. My contract with Ethel is ticking by. Each day brings me closer to the end.
I just don’t know what I’ll do when it’s time to go back home.
The AA group’s chairperson clears his throat from the front of the room. When I lift my gaze, his attention is on me. “Do you have anything to add today, Xavier?”
Carl is a middle-aged guy. Average height and build with an astonishingly symmetrical goatee. He carries a little extra weight around his waist and he constantly reeks of sugary e-cigarette vapors. But he’s got good intentions and he’s gone out of his way to be friendly with me since I started coming here.
Sliding my phone into my back pocket, I shake my head and make a non-committal sound. He doesn’t quite seem satisfied with my answer, but at least he doesn’t push it. Instead, he moves on, instructing everyone to stand and hold hands for the closing prayer. I follow along on autopilot, my heart and my head not at all into it tonight.
As people begin to filter out of the room, I linger by the refreshments table, half-heartedly stirring a packet of sugar into a cup of black coffee. Carl speaks as he starts folding up the metal chairs scattered about the room. “How you doing, man? You look a bit distracted tonight.”
I scratch at my stubble, trying to figure out the most succinct way to explain exactly what’s going on with me. I decide to address the biggest problem first. “I’ve met this girl,” I tell him simply.
A salt and pepper brow climbs a few centimeters up his forehead. “That’s not necessarily a bad thing…”
I lean my weight on the edge of the table and swirl my cup around between my fingers. “The problem is, I’ve got a lot of things going on in my life right now. With my family and…And I’d only planned on staying in Copper Heights for a few weeks. Honestly, I’m not even supposed to be here…” I drop my head and pinch the bridge of my nose. “But this girl…”
“She’s that great, huh?” Carl’s goatee frames his smile perfectly, as if each individual hair follicle was hand-placed by Mother Nature herself.
“She’s…she’s more than great.” I struggle to find the right phrasing. “She’s addictive.” My head snaps up when I use the word.
Carl immediately understands what I’m trying to say. “You’re worried about the effect that being with her will have on your sobriety.”
“Right.” I give a curt nod.
That part is certainly true but the whole story is not that simple. What I don’t tell him is that I know I don’t deserve her. I don’t deserve the happiness, the excitement, the damn bliss I feel with her. After the bad things I’ve done, I don’t deserve any of the good things she represents.
He folds his thick arms across his broad chest. “Well, has she encouraged you to do anything that will compromise your recovery?”
“No, not at all,” I say quickly before adding slowly, “she doesn’t even know about
my situation.” Worry pleats Carl’s brow as he lets me continue to pour out my guts. “I want to spend more time with her but I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.”
“Why not?”
“The thing about her is…she’s wild and adventurous and when I’m with her, I just feel…” Discussing feelings has never been my strong suit but talking about this situation with Sadie is particularly difficult because it’s so new and different and strange and it triggers my guilt on the deepest level. She’s all the things I decided I no longer deserved after that damn accident.
Carl scrubs his thumb back and forth on his chin. “Did I ever tell you the story of how I started drinking?”
I scan my brain for a few seconds before shaking my head. “No.”
He heaves a breath and begins, “I’ve always, y’know, had a thing for…older women. When I was a teenager, nothing got my blood going like the sight of one of my mom’s friends in her housecoat and bedroom slippers and rollers in her hair.” He gets all wistful when he says it. “Sneaking into the Playboy Mansion would pale in comparison to that. At least to me. I spent most of my life trying to deny it. But twenty years ago, I fell in love with Mrs. Packard. I wanted her so bad, it consumed me. It became so overwhelming, I couldn’t take it. So what did I do? I went out and married a woman my age, of course.” He laughs to himself. “Obviously, that didn’t help the situation. It only caused more pain—for myself, my wife, my kids…and the woman I loved. I started drinking to numb that pain.”
I stare blankly at him, not quite sure where he’s going with this.
Again, he reads my expression. “What I’m saying is that denying my true self out of fear didn’t help anyone. It just made a whole lot of people miserable. If you want this girl and she wants you, you have every fucking right to indulge, to let yourself be happy.”
It feels like someone is painfully shoving their fist up my throat. Suddenly, breathing isn’t so easy. Carl’s words are hitting me right in the feels.
Rich Boy: A Royal Landlord Romance (Blue Collar Bachelors Book 5) Page 13