His fingertips are soft against my cheek when he reaches over and brushes a lock of hair away from my eyes. “I was nervous, too. I’ve been looking forward to it all day.” He leans down and tenderly brushes his mouth over mine.
My heart takes off racing as we share a smile. So much possibility sparking and crackling between us. We continue the walk in a soft but excited silence. As we’re nearing the restaurant’s main entrance, his gaze flicks to my boobs again. I giggle. It’s all I can do to keep from hooking an arm around his neck and pulling his face down into the valley of them.
He flashes me a wink as he holds open the front door of the restaurant. "In cold blood, Sadie. In cold blood."
I’m gonna fuck this guy’s brains out tonight. Just you wait and see.
18
sadie
My mouth is having an orgasm.
The rest of my body is frozen. My eyes are closed. My fingers grip the edge of table. The toe of my shoe is buried in the low pile of the worn-out oriental rug. But my mouth is having an orgasm.
My taste buds dance at the full, intense flavour of the marinara sauce spreading across my tongue. I groan like a fool and my eyes slowly flutter open.
Xavier’s eyes are hooked on me. There’s a tempting, little curl to his lips. His dark eyes twinkle in the restaurant’s dim recessed lighting.
Quickly, I straighten up and run the white linen napkin along the edges of my mouth to wipe up any traces of sauce lingering there. “I’m sorry.” A tiny, embarrassed laugh slips past my lips.
He shakes his head. “No, never mind me. Keep making those noises. I’m enjoying it.” His eyes stay on me as his fork twirls around in his linguine.
I reach for my wine goblet. “I haven’t been here in a while. I forgot how much I love the food.” On my budget, eating out isn’t something I do all that often but that’s definitely no excuse for acting like a pig right now. Still, when that rich pinot noir hits my tongue, I groan again.
This time he laughs.
“If you’d just take a sip, you’d know what all the fuss is about.” With lifted brows, I stretch my glass over to him again. And again, he refuses.
“I’m staying away from the wine. Unless you want to be carrying me out of here tonight.” He jokes but his smile doesn’t light his eyes the way it usually does.
“I’m sure I could manage that.”
“And scuff those sexy fuck-me shoes? That would be a pity.”
I roll my eyes. “I am more than my shoes, Prince Charming.”
“Oh, I know that...” He brings his fork to his lips and chews with a little smile on his mouth. “You’re not what I was expecting, Sadie.”
“What were you expecting?”
“Well, I’ll be honest…” His gaze rolls over me, warmth in his appraisal. “You’re hot as hell. The tattoos and the piercings and the snarky attitude are a part of the sexy, bad girl facade. But you’re so much more than that. Smart. Funny. Vulnerable.”
My insides tighten. Something like fear comes alive beneath my skin. “I don’t know how I feel about being called vulnerable.” I keep my spine rigid and my shoulders back. I don’t know why I bother trying to act tough because it’s clear that he sees right through me.
He sets down his fork. His hands clasped behind his head, elbows sticking out at the sides, a knowing curl dances on his mouth as he leans back in his chair and watches me.
I find myself squirming. Noticeably. “What?”
His smirk deepens. “I’m starting to think that the ‘vulnerable’ is only for me.”
A loud huff bolts past my lips. “Full of yourself much?” This guy is unbelievable sometimes.
He holds out his hands appeasingly. “Let me rephrase that. Maybe I only see it because I’m really, really paying attention.” He leans across the table, his eyes sincere and warm but devoid of any teasing when he says, “I see you, Sadie. I really see you. And I like what I see. Very much.”
And those words crack me right open. I feel them physically. It’s like someone’s finally found the master key to that secret spot where I keep every little secret hidden. I’m not sure if I like that or if it scares me senseless. All I know is that if I’m not careful tonight, by the time morning rolls around, this man will have every piece of me.
My breath quivers and words come out uncontrollably. “I’d given up on ever hearing anyone say that.”
Immediately, I regret saying the words. They make me feel weak. And I hate feeling weak.
Xavier looks at me. The intensity in his eyes conveys how very much he gets it. For the first time, somebody actually gets it. “I know how it feels to need that connection, Sadie. I know how it feels wishing that someone—anyone—would dare to look past the defenses you’ve built.” He cups my chin in his hand, forcing me to look at him. “I’m not afraid of your armour, darling. I see the beautiful soul beneath it.”
He’s unraveling my truth like a spool of yarn. After spending so many years knitting together this intricate persona, one tug of the string and this man has me all figured out.
I glance around at our surroundings, looking for something, some distraction that will take the heavy spotlight off of me. But there’s nothing, not even a waiter in sight. The small, linen-draped tables are empty. The stools at the bar sit vacant. There’s no one swaying tipsily on the dance floor. And it’s all Xavier’s fault.
“Y’know—you didn’t have to reserve the entire restaurant just so the two of us could have a meal tonight.” I lift my glass to cover my lips before I throw him a verbal jab. “Unlike you, I don’t mind sharing my dining establishments with mere commoners.”
I know it’s shitty to deflect the conversation after what was just said but I can’t go down that road, not right now. The feelings are too raw.
Xavier’s hearty laugh floats across the table. “I don’t mind sharing my dining establishments, either. It’s you I don’t want to share.”
Aaaannnnddd, more wine for me. I refill my glass and guzzle it down.
With that one comment, he’s thrown me off-kilter and he knows it. He grins proudly as my cheeks flame. If he keeps talking like that, it’s only a matter of time before I find myself on my knees, doing something very dishonourable to him under the table.
He’s still looking at me, the intensity of his gaze searing. Desperate for a distraction, I bring my attention to the people walking by on the street. “Hey, doesn’t that look like Laundromat Guy?” I nod my head in the direction of the shadow peeking in through the restaurant’s wide window.
Xavier just chuckles and with his pointer under my chin, he brings my attention back to him. I squirm. He presses his leg against mine, his hand playfully squeezing my knee under the tablecloth. A hot zing shoots into the damp space between my thighs. My sex coils so tight I nearly have to grind on my chair to ease the tension. “Okay, sorry. I’ll stop putting you on the spot.” He leans back and grins then changes the subject. “So, you plan on going back to school next semester?”
My tense muscles relax a touch. “Looks like it,” I say and a smile breaks out across my face. “I got a scholarship,” I announce dramatically, shaking my fists with excitement like a crazy fanatic at a sporting event.
Xavier nods, his mouth full of pasta. “Well done,” he says from behind his fisted napkin.
My smile gradually fades into a frown. I’m still trying to make sense of how this happened. “It’s crazy. I don’t even remember applying for that scholarship and then, all of a sudden, there’s a check at my door with my name on it.”
This weird look zips across his face and he clears his throat. “Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah…” Uneasiness takes up a spot in my gut. “It’s almost like it fell out of the sky, straight into my lap.”
A broad shoulder heaves up. His eyes stay focused on his plate. “Don’t overthink it, love. Maybe it was just meant to be.”
“Maybe…” I sigh then grab the empty wine goblet in front of him and fill it halfway. “In an
y case, now, you have to have a celebratory drink with me. It would be bad manners not to.” I thrust the wine his way.
He drops the napkin into his lap and his gaze flicks downward as his shoulders grow taut with frustration at my offer. A searing kind of pain blinks across his expression, so fast I nearly miss it. But now it’s dug a groove into my consciousness and I can’t just pretend it’s not there. I can’t pretend that I don’t see the anguish lurking beneath his infuriatingly cocky exterior. Dammit—I’m an idiot.
Slowly, I set the glass down and push it to the far end of the table as his secret becomes glaringly obvious. He looks up at me. Heaviness pulses between us. He’s hurting. I can see that now. And it’s killing me to know that I’ve been sitting here all night, doling heaps of salt into his wounds.
“Sadie…I—”
With a slight head shake, I drop my hands into my lap. “We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
At that, he seems all the more determined to get it out. “I can’t have a drink with you. I’m an alcoholic.” His voice dips when he says it.
The confession hangs in the air. I wait, not wanting to jump in and say the wrong thing.
He continues. “I’ve only been going to meetings—abstaining—for a few weeks. Since I got to Copper Heights, actually. I…I…”
“I understand.” It’s all I say.
Silence settles across the table again.
So much shame and guilt on his face. “If this changes things for you, that’s understandable.”
I swallow. “My father is an alcoholic.”
His head hangs. He winces. “Shit…”
And I can see that he’s busy building up a case for why we shouldn’t be together in this way. I won’t allow him to go there.
“Is that why you spent so much time pushing me away?” My voice cracks around my words.
He shoves his plate aside, his appetite lost. “I’m fucking complicated, darling.” His shoves his massive hands through his hair, messing it all up.
I smile and let my hand sit on top of his. “Well, everyone who’s hung around on this planet for a couple of years ends up with some complications. It’s all about whether or not you’re willing to deal with them.”
“I should have told you sooner.” He swallows thickly. “But now that you know, it’s perfectly fine if you change your mind about spending time with me.”
He’s not getting it. “Come closer.” He doesn’t budge and I bend across the side of the table to wrap my fingers around the leg of his chair. Of course, I can’t pull him but I give it some effort anyway.
“What are you doing?” His lips are flat and his brows furrowed.
“Come. Closer.”
He blows a breath past his lips, no doubt annoyed by my persistence. But at least that gets him to scoot his chair across the carpeted floor until it’s jammed against mine. That desolate look on his face guts me, though. It may not be ladylike but I swing my leg across his lap and straddle him, my thighs squeezing against his hips. “Xavier, the difference between you and my father is that Dad won’t allow himself to admit that he has a problem and he definitely won’t seek help.” I press my lips to his temple and draw a trail down along his cheekbone. “‘Complicated’ doesn’t scare me. Not half as much as ‘closed off’ does. Don’t shut down on me. Please.”
He leans back, his eyes piercing into mine. The look he gives me is so raw, I feel it scraping against the last of my defences. “You’re fucking incredible,” he groans and buries his head against my collarbone. His lips and stubble drag along my chest. I purr at the sensation.
His cock is a hard rod, growing and pressing against my seam. My hips swivel on their own, lightly stroking against him. His big hands clamp down on my waist and he growls, nibbling at my cleavage.
“Fuck…” I whisper into his thick, dark waves. My lips touch his forehead, his hair.
And now, he’s moving beneath me, his pelvis tilting upward to drive me insane. All I feel is my lust and the primal urge for satisfaction at his hands. He angles his broad back toward the street. Gently, he lowers the neckline of my dress.
Yes, my breast is exposed in the middle of an Italian restaurant on a Wednesday night and I don’t give half a fuck. I just want him to taste me there.
He slows to a halt, his eyes on my hard nipple as the pad of his thumb rides it back and forth. He swallows hard. “Xavier…please.” I’d give him everything, anything he wants right now. Right here.
I toss my head back and cry out in disappointment when he slides the fabric back in place, sheathing my breast with the lace and the polyester again. He chuckles softly at my agony. Wicked man.
He takes my hand. “Come on, Love. We’ll be late for our movie.”
19
xavier
Sadie cuddles the giant popcorn bucket to her chest as we move along the sidewalk toward our building. She’s wearing this huge smile as she hums the film’s theme song to herself. Tucking her shoes under her arm, she hops up onto the low ledge bordering the sidewalk and balances one bare foot in front of the other.
She looks so happy.
Beautiful and carefree under the glaring light of the streetlamp, soaking up this midsummer night. She’s a dream.
When she glances my way, her brows dip down slightly. “Why are you smiling?” she asks, her eyes sparkling prettily.
“Because you are.” I didn’t mean to say that. But it came slipping off my tongue. And it’s true. Her joy is captivating and I just want to bathe in it.
She shrugs a little. “Sorry if I’m a little ‘extra’ right now. I really, really wanted to see that movie. I was supposed to go with my ex—Cobi—a few weeks ago but…”
The street is eerily quiet. Almost as if the rest of the world was wiped out while we were sitting in that movie theatre and now she and I are the only two people left. I jam my hands into the front pockets of my jeans and walk alongside her. “It was a good movie. And your ex is a douche.” What I really want to do is twine my fingers with hers, pull her close, wrap an arm around her. But I keep my distance.
That niggling voice at the back of my head keeps reminding me of the truth. Sadie thinks she can trust me. She doesn’t realize who I really am. Getting too close to me will only cause her pain in the end. She may not know it. But I do.
What we started back at the restaurant was insane. The feeling of her pussy grinding against my dick had me straining so hard against my limits I thought I’d pop an artery. Fucking her would be explosive. If I got her in my bed, there’d be no stopping me until we were both blissfully crippled and spent.
But then what?
We’re supposed to just move on, forget about each other in the next six weeks when I leave? Or are we supposed to do the long-distance thing, keep a relationship going until I crush her completely, permanently? Sadie Nichols doesn’t know how much trouble she’s in for with me.
I nod my chin at the popcorn bucket and she obliges, slowing her stride to feed a few buttery kernels into my mouth.
She looks at me, bites down on the corner of her lip. A tiny confession pours out. “I had a really good time tonight.”
Hearing her say that shouldn’t make my heart soar the way it does, it shouldn’t make my pulse beat faster. But I had a great time, too. And I don’t want the night to end, not without me taking her to my bed.
I want this girl.
I don’t deserve her. But I want her anyway.
The worst part is that she’s looking at me like she’d say yes. If I made a move, she’d let me. If I kissed her, she’d kiss me back and she’d let me slip my hand under her skirt to feel how wet she is for me. Then, she’d let me go even further.
I want to spend the night with her.
It’s right at my fingertips. All I have to do is reach out and take it.
That’s the part that’s driving me insane.
Abruptly, she stops. When I turn to glance at her, she grabs me by the arm and pulls me close, her
small hand coming up to touch my face. So soft. Her lashes flutter and a breath later, she’s pressing her lips to mine. I want to put my hands on her, angle her head, rough my tongue through the seam of her lips. But I just stand there.
After a long beat of my immobility, she pulls back. She swallows and looks up at me. “Did I…Did I do something wrong?” The hurt in her voice sweeps across the space between us.
I wrap my fingers around her wrist and pull her in the direction of a bench lining the street right outside of our building. She lets me guide her to the seat.
I sit and she follows suit, setting her shoes and popcorn on the seat next to her. “Sadie, I like you so much but you realize that this thing between us can’t go anywhere, right?” I don’t mean to be harsh but we can’t let ourselves get carried away and lose sight of reality. She cringes. “I think that came out all wrong. I don’t want you thinking I’m not wildly attracted to you. I am. But…”
“Well, you’re not doing a great job at that. Because you’ve been flirting with me. Since day one. I know I’m not imagining it. But every time I try to get close to you, you find a way to push me away. What the fuck is your deal, Xavier? Are you—are you married or something?”
“No. Hell no.”
“Confused about your sexuality?”
“No, Sadie.”
“Is it uncontrollable flatulence? Really—you can tell me.”
I tilt my head to the side and watch her with annoyance. “Oh, c’mon…That again?”
“Erectile dysfunction.”
I grab her hand and cup it over my rock-hard erection. He lips part and a wispy breath comes out. My fingers guide hers downward and her jaw gets looser with each and every one of my nine and a half inches. “Does this erection seem dysfunctional to you?”
She shivers. “So what’s the problem?” she breathes out.
“I’m not the kind of man you deserve, Sadie.”
Rich Boy: A Royal Landlord Romance (Blue Collar Bachelors Book 5) Page 15