32
sadie
Xavier’s hand is at the small of my back, causing tingles to dance beneath the thin fabric of my dress. His left palm is clasped against my right and our fingers are intertwined. Our chests brush close together and our bodies move in sync to the airy flow of Daniel Bedingfield’s If You’re Not the One.
It’s cheesy.
The broke, part-time barista dancing under twinkling string lights with a prince. I know better. So why is my heart beating like it’s trying to crack its way through my chest? Why are my knees struggling to hold me upright? Why do I feel so deeply—so dangerously—close to falling in love with this man in this moment?
Even in a room full of tuxedos and dress shoes, Xavier is the most gorgeous man in sight, confident and unflinching in his black T-shirt and jeans, his double-strap open-toe man-sandals. He even outshines the groom.
I still can’t believe we’re here and that it’s Nat and Alvin spinning around under the spotlight of the dance floor.
It all happened so fast. One minute we were on Natalie’s couch, watching yet another reality TV brawl. The next minute, Alvin was storming through the door, determination brewing in his stormy gaze. He was down on one knee, demanding my best friend’s heart and her hand in marriage. He said he didn’t want to wait a second longer, that he wanted to marry her tonight. He said, fuck his Bitcoin valuation. I watched her walls crumble as she finally gave in to the man she’s always loved.
And now, hours later, here we are, on the deck of Alvin’s bungalow. String lights and vibrant trumpet vines hang overhead. Soft music fills the intimate space as the small gathering of family and friends celebrate the spontaneous union that, in reality, was a long, long time coming.
My eyes linger on the dance floor. Nat beams in her slip of white satin and lace and crystal. Alvin’s arms are around her, holding her so tight I know that, this time, he’ll never let her go.
Everybody is so genuinely excited for them. I look around at the happy couple’s friends and family, their daughter. My heart is so very full.
This is the atmosphere for falling in love.
My attention travels back to Xavier. The smile on his face is soft, wistful. His gaze sinks all the way into my soul.
“What are you thinking?” I can’t help but ask.
“I’m thinking that you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. And this song is mushy as hell but I feel like every word of it is being plucked directly from my heart.” When I hear him say that, my pulse clips away at a crazy pace. I pray for it to slow down.
Don’t fall in love with him. Don’t fall in love with him. Don’t fall in love with him.
I know damn well it’s too late. I am so gone for this man. And I know my heart’s going to end up broken. I know that the clock will eventually strike twelve and I’ll be left hurting. But in this moment, I know it’ll be worth it.
His hands come up and cup my cheeks. A tender assault on the weak threads of my self-control. His tender words float across the space between us. “You’re so magic, darling girl. I was dead before I met you…How did you bring me back to life?”
I look at him and tears press at the corners of my eyes, blurring my vision. What I want to say is ‘I love you. So, so much. Despite the list of reasons you’ve given me not to.’ Despite the fact that when you leave in three weeks, you’re going to tear my heart out and take it with you. Instead, I just smile.
He bends closer to brush his lips over mine. My chest shudders at the power behind that small gesture. Dammit. I’m not supposed to feel this weak. I’m not supposed to be head over heels. I’m supposed to be tough. Teflon Sadie. Carefree. Unaffected.
But for this man, for this kiss, I’m all in.
When we pull apart, every person and every thing around us has faded to a blur. We’re alone, floating in the universe with nothing but the stars glittering around us. This man makes me forget every defence I’ve ever crafted, every doubt I’ve ever hidden behind. I want to cling onto him forever.
His lips hover close to my ear. “I want to make love to you, darling. I want to get so lost inside of you, I want to go to a place where no one else can ever find me. Please.” His eyes are pleading. He’s not begging for sex. He’s begging for connection, for union, for that special something that happens on a soul level every time our bodies join.
My heart shakes with emotion. My fingers tingle as they climb the length of his broad back. “I want that, too.”
He eases back and slides his hand into mine, his expression grave and urgent, but adoring all the same. “Let’s go.”
As he guides me across the wooden deck toward the exit, my eyes meet Natalie’s. She’s wrapped up in Alvin’s arms, head thrown back with laughter as her groom sways her around the dance floor. I give her an apologetic expression as I subtly nod my head toward the door.
She winks her approval and blows me a kiss. Right then, Alvin gives her another spin and she fades into a blur of white lace and giggles. Xavier leads me out the door.
33
xavier
I don’t know how to not tell her anymore…
I love her.
That’s all I keep thinking as the cab pulls away from Nat and Alvin’s wedding celebration. I have to tell her. And I don’t know where the hell we’ll go from there but we have three weeks to figure it out. I’m going to love her with everything I’ve got for the rest of my time here. I’m going to give her every part of me. So, that when it’s all over, we’ll both be transformed and she’ll know that she is loved.
Her body is draped across mine on the back bench of the taxi. Her arms cling tight to my waist. Her cheek is burrowed in the curve of my neck. My chin nestles in her hair. When she arches her neck and places a sweet kiss on my lips, I lean down and deepen the connection. So hungry for her. In every way.
My gaze drifts out the window as we’re approaching the intersection. A sudden wave of tension causes all my muscles to go taut. My fingers tighten at Sadie’s waist. My jaw twitches.
A fleet of black SUVs line the sidewalk in front of our building under the golden glow of the streetlamps. A broad-shouldered, dark-suited man stands ramrod stiff beside each vehicle and a familiar purple, white and gold flag waves proudly from the hood of each car.
I hear Sadie’s startled gasp beside me. I feel the intensity of her eyes on the side of my face. She says nothing. Neither do I.
This is fucked up.
The taxi slows to a halt across the street from the building. I shove a fistful of money at the driver who gushes with appreciation before screeching away from the curb.
Sadie’s energy has shifted completely as she stands beside me on the pavement. It’s apprehensive, tightly-wound. Without thinking, I reach for her hand and I don’t know if I’m trying to give her assurance that everything will be all right or if I’m trying to steal it for myself. All I know is that I need her right now as my frantic mind tries to decipher what this turn of events means.
I can feel it—something major is about to go down.
As we cross the street, the men’s right arms fly up in unison, bending stiffly at the elbow. Palms down, two fingers almost touching the temple but not quite.
Sadie jolts at the sudden, synchronized movement and she squeezes my fingers harder.
My stride falters when my eyes catch on a familiar face among the line-up of soldiers. Sadie sees him too and she’s just as shocked as I am. “Are you fucking serious?” she whispers, leaning close to me. “That guy?”
Yes, the sketchy todger from the Laundromat, the one who just happened to be there every time we did a load of laundry or went for a walk or set foot outside of the apartment building. He’s been spying on me for my family this whole fucking time. Why the hell am I surprised? Even from her deathbed, Grandmum has to control every, fucking, little thing. Of course she’d track me down and find a way to keep tabs on me. Of course, the fact that she let me run loose for a few weeks didn’t mean that I was actual
ly free.
You’re never really free when the Crown has your name on it.
I was a fool to expect to be left alone for a couple of weeks, to be given a tiny bit of privacy. As royalty, you enjoy many perks—luxury accommodations, an endless supply of money, tax exemptions—privacy is not one of them.
I pass by the men. I march up the stairs, fingers still locked around Sadie’s. She trails behind me, struggling to keep up with my pace. With an angry stomp, I arrive on the second floor not knowing what to expect but ready for a fight all the same.
It’s Thomas standing there with Harold, my head security man, and Lord Kent, the palace barrister. For a heartbeat, we stand there, staring at each other. It’s a showdown. Harold steps forward. He’s always been too brave for his own good. He bows but he doesn’t flinch in the face of my anger. Instead, he stares at me defiantly. The man has faced terrorists and assassins and hoards of preteen girls determined to get a piece of me on the red carpet for the Brown Bottom Geese mating ceremony. I don’t scare him.
When my hard gaze turns to Thomas, he crumbles like a sand castle being hit by a tsunami. He bows exaggeratedly.
Instant mourning grips my soul when I observe his grave expression. “Your Highness, I deeply regret having to come here and interrupt your holiday. But we must talk face to face. It’s about your grandmother.”
34
sadie
The last twenty minutes have been agonizing.
As soon as we’d climbed to the top of the stairs, the men standing in the hallway had asked to speak with Xavier privately. It was something to do with the Queen. Xavier’s knee-jerk reaction was to tighten his grip on my hand and say that the conversation could be had with me present. The men weren’t having it. They politely insisted that the information they’re here to disclose is highly confidential, a matter of national security.
I was asked to leave the room. “It’s protocol,” the head security guard said.
I know better than anyone—protocol is code for bullshit.
Despite Xavier’s insistence, I chose to come back to my apartment to give them privacy. I need some time to get myself together anyway. To brace myself for whatever it is that’s about to happen. Because I know without a doubt that this is the moment everything changes. Things won’t be the same past this point.
I changed into sweats, made myself a cup of tea, curled up on the couch and waited.
I’m worried about Xavier. I’m so anxious for him. I know exactly what it’s like when someone you love is hanging between life and death and there’s nothing you can do about it. I say a silent prayer for the Queen. If she has passed away before Xavier got to say goodbye, I know he’ll never forgive himself.
I’m on my feet the second I hear the knock at the door. With my heart beating in my throat, I rush the short distance from the living room to the front door and yank it open. My breath catches.
Xavier is standing there and despite the severity of the moment, my lungs spasm with wanting. Oh my god, he’s handsome. Seeing him in that navy blue suit, I know immediately that it was measured and custom-cut to fit the lines of his powerful body. The way the rich fabric spreads across his strong shoulders and hugs loosely at the waist, the way his pants drape perfectly over his black, wingtip oxford shoes. The tailoring is clean and polished, tapered in all the right places. His hair isn’t wild and messy like it normally is. He’s brushed it back, though one dark, wayward tuft slopes down across his forehead.
But the biggest change is his demeanor. Instead of his usual playful and charming smirk. His face is drawn into a somber expression. His forehead is pleated and his lips are flat. The intensity of his stare leaves faint prickles along my skin.
He doesn’t react at all to my blatantly lustful perusal. His face remains stoic, solemn. Almost as serious as the footmen traveling down the stairs behind him with bags and suitcases in hand.
He’s leaving…
My chest does this crazy tight squeeze that nearly pushes my heart right out through my mouth.
“I’ve come to say goodbye.”
My whole world stops spinning at his words.
My hands clasp over my heart. “Xavier—what happened?” I whisper. I reach for his hands but stop myself when I see the way they stay stiffly by his side, not searching for mine.
He opens his mouth to respond but the short, balding man behind him clears his throat, signaling to Xavier that he can’t share this sensitive information with a mere peasant like me.
Xavier looks over his shoulder and growls. “Thomas, I need a minute alone with Ms. Nichols.”
“Your Highness, we really must go—”
Big, broad shoulders vibrating with restrained rage, he spins around to face the little man. “I am the Crown Prince of the nation of Ridgeland. Your Crown Prince. And I need a minute—one fucking minute—so you’ll give it to me.”
“Y—yes, Your Highness. Of course.” Red and anxious, the man scurries away.
Xavier casts a threatening glance at the burly guards right over his shoulder. They’re each a few inches taller than he is but that steely glare is all it takes to have them hurrying down the stairs as well.
I've never seen him like this. I know him as the funny, charming guy next door. A little cheeky with his pervy taunting and his devilish smile.
But this version of Xavier is different. This man is a world leader, a holder of power. And although that had never been a particular turn-on for me, right now, the aura of authority around him has my stomach fluttering.
Then, my mind registers what he just said. He just referred to himself as the Crown Prince. That means he’s taken a step closer to the Throne. He’s now next in line. Which only means one thing…
“Oh, Xavier—I’m so sorry…” My heart throbs for him. My eyes prickle. I ache at his loss. Though he and the Queen have been arguing recently, I know it must be killing him to come to terms with the fact that she’s really gone.
His steely expression doesn’t waver, though. He speaks in a formal distant tone. “It’s been wonderful spending time with you, Sadie. The past few weeks have been…wonderful.” His words are completely devoid of emotion, almost as if he’s saying goodbye to someone he only met at a backyard barbeque or sat next to on a plane. As if the connection we shared was something that lived exclusively within my imagination.
I wet my lips and swallow to relieve the ache in my throat. I hold my shoulders straight. “It’s been wonderful spending time with you, too.”
This hurts so, so much. I don’t want him to leave me. This isn’t how you say goodbye to the person you’re in love with. You don’t say goodbye to the person you’re in love with. When you meet that person, you make it work…right?
We stand there for a second, staring at each other. The past few weeks flash before my eyes—the smirk on his face the night I burst through his door covered in hair dye and depilatory cream, the first time we did laundry together, our date at the Italian restaurant, the first time we made love. There’s a momentary crack in his armor and I see clearly that he’s reliving those moments, too. Beneath his hard exterior, I see a glimpse of the man I’ve come to know. He’s absolutely shattered but he’s maintaining a brave face. It’s his duty.
He takes me in, his eyes slowly skimming every curve and dip of my body as if he’s committing my form to memory. And I'm memorizing him too. My heart wrenches. He's leaving...
His hand reaches out and slowly, his fingers curl around my wrist. He lifts my left hand to his mouth and presses his warm lips against my skin. He lingers there. I don’t want him to go. His eyes meet mine, smoldering with desire and regret and so much more.
He tenderly flips my palm over and presses a soft kiss to the place where my pulse beats wildly beneath my skin. “Sadie…” So much regret in his voice.
He releases my hand and when he pivots toward the stairs, I can’t help but call after him. “Hey Prince Charming.” When he turns back, I approach him. I walk all the way up to hi
m, so close that I have to tilt my head back so our eyes can meet. “We didn’t finish our dance…” I whisper.
He smiles. “We didn’t…”
And he gathers me in his arms—right there in the doorway—he holds me against his body. My fingers clench on the front of his shirt, I lean my head on his big, roaring heart and I sway in his arms. He hums a soft melody into my hair. And this is where I want to be forever.
Beams of silvery moonlight strike through the spaces in the blinds and quiet sounds pour from my chest. I hate that I’m crying over this. I hate that I’m not strong enough to just let him walk away without falling apart. We promised ourselves that this was just a fling. I have no right to break down now that he’s leaving.
His lips brush the spot right beneath my eye, swiping through the wetness there. His kisses trace a path across my cheekbone, down to my mouth. When I graze his plump bottom lip with the tip of my tongue, I taste my tears, his regret. There’s so much tenderness in his eyes. It’s breaking my heart. Although he won’t let himself say the words, I know he feels things, too.
But at this point, he has no choice. He has to go home.
“I’m going to miss y—” Before I can get the words out, he presses his finger to my lips, silencing me. His eyes tell me not to make this any harder by making poignant declarations. He’s right. What good would that do either of us?
He runs a knuckle along my cheek. "Oh Sadie,” he whispers on a sigh. “I wasn’t ready for you, sweet girl. You caught me off guard."
His voice is raspy and wistful as he speaks and just for a moment, I think he'll change his mind, he'll stay, he'll pick me over the entire kingdom that's halfway across the world waiting for him. It's an incredibly selfish thought and completely unrealistic but for a tiny slice in time, it's all I want.
Rich Boy: A Royal Landlord Romance (Blue Collar Bachelors Book 5) Page 21