Mother joined the conversation. “Where are you headed next, Mr. Wagner? Jen told me the polar expedition is postponed for a year. Will you be staying on at the flight school?”
Jen paused, waiting to hear his answer.
“No, ma’am. I’m planning to head west to see my folks first. Then I’ll fly in air shows until I can get a contract to deliver mail by airplane.”
Jen’s hands shook. He really was leaving, never to return. She leaned against the counter to steady herself.
Mother didn’t notice the effect Dan’s news had on Jen. “How interesting. Why would anyone need airplanes to deliver mail?”
“To remote areas, ma’am. Places that don’t have good roads or roads at all.”
Jen picked up the gravy bowl and handed it to Blake. Before anyone could notice her distress, she returned to the warming oven to fetch the green beans.
“What would you like, Jen?” Dan asked. “Dark meat or white?”
She couldn’t look at him, or she’d lose the tiny bit of control she’d managed to regain. “Either. I’m not particular.”
“At last I’ve found something you’re not particular about.”
Everyone chuckled except Jen. Did he really think her that persnickety? No wonder he was leaving. Well, good riddance. She set the bowl of green beans on the table with a thud. “I might have my opinions, but at least no one has to wonder what I think.”
Dan grinned. “That’s one thing I liked about you from the start.”
Ruth and Minnie gave each other a knowing look, which Beatrice seconded. Well, they were wrong. Dan clearly had no interest in a relationship. He’d stated it flat out. Jen put the half-empty serving dishes in the warming oven and then pulled her chair as far away from Dan as possible before sitting down to eat. Since eight people were crammed at the table, that wasn’t very far. She could feel his presence like the hum of an airplane engine.
“Mighty fine dinner, Mrs. Fox,” Dan said. “Reminds me of home.”
“Tell me again where home is.”
“Montana, ma’am. Boynton, Montana. Ranching country. Rolling plains as far as you can see. Sky so wide it seems to go on forever. Fresh air and sunshine.”
“That sounds lovely. Does your family own a ranch?” Before long Mother had extracted Dan’s entire history, including that his parents were still living and his two younger brothers and their families ran the ranch alongside their father. “What a wonderful life.”
“It’s a hard life, ma’am.” Dan set down his fork before Jen had finished half her dinner. “Every year brings a trial or two. This winter we lost fifty head in a blizzard, and a barn roof collapsed.”
Jen didn’t know that. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
He shrugged. “You didn’t need my troubles on top of your own. Besides, you couldn’t help.”
That sounded a lot like her reasoning, which she was beginning to realize was flawed. Two people who cared about each other shared not only the joys but the difficulties. “I could have listened. And prayed.”
His smile was hollow. “That’s thoughtful, but everything is taken care of.”
She looked down at her plate of food, no longer hungry. As a master of hiding her troubles, she recognized when her concerns were being brushed off. Things were not as rosy as Dan was saying. That was why he had to return home. He’d also made it perfectly clear that he alone would handle the problem. No help or sympathy was needed. No partnership—in life or business—for Dan Wagner.
* * *
Jen’s quiet resignation plagued Dan long after he said goodbye to the family and returned to the boardinghouse. He missed the spunk that she’d shown at the flight school. Other than a brief moment following his deliberate attempt to spur her to protest, she’d been too reserved.
That was in stark contrast to her declaration that she still hoped to get in the cockpit of the polar attempt next year. Rather than mourn the postponed expedition, she’d turned the disappointment into a challenge to make her dream come true. He admired that about her. Jen Fox let nothing stop her.
Maybe that was why her change of mood got to him. It was so uncharacteristic. She’d barely looked up during the entire meal.
It took every bit of restraint not to lift that determined little chin of hers and wipe away whatever had made her spirits plummet. Had something happened with the family? They had all seemed happy, even Beatrice. She and Blake had acted like newlyweds, whispering and exchanging little glances and touches that they thought no one noticed. Ruth talked about rejoining her husband in a few days. Minnie and her fiancé barely took their eyes off each other. Even Mrs. Fox seemed pleased to journey to New York. Only Jen dwelled in a melancholic haze.
After the meal, he’d tried to speak with her, but she walked away after delivering a glare that would melt the Arctic.
He’d drawn Mrs. Fox aside to ask if she knew why Jen was in such a sour mood.
The woman sighed. “She is not accepting the changes easily. I think she still sees her father in these walls. She doesn’t realize that he’s inside her heart, not in an old house. I wish I could make her understand, but I fear it will take time.” She’d squeezed his hand. “Pray for her. She thinks highly of you. Your prayers would mean a lot.”
Prayer wasn’t something Dan had done much until lately. Prayer meant baring his soul before God. That soul was rusty and full of holes. He’d lived the life of an aviation star. Women, parties, greed. He’d done it all. Until last November’s crash, he hadn’t wanted to let go of any of it. Even afterward, he’d only nominally relinquished the lifestyle. The decision to bid on an airmail route would keep him from that wild life and begin to scour away the stains on his soul. But that wasn’t enough. He couldn’t just run from his past. He had to admit that his vow to remain a bachelor was rooted in his selfish refusal to risk giving away any of himself. He had to declare his faults and start fresh.
But how?
That pastor in Jen’s church had said it came down to giving total control to God.
Dan blew out his breath. Whew, that was a tough one. Until the crash, Dan Wagner had always been in control. He was known for it. He kept aloof from any entanglement, whether in business or relationships. Family was his only exception.
The crash changed everything. He thought he’d lost all control until the flight to bring Mrs. Hunter to the hospital. That success had given control back to him. If that preacher was right, he had to turn over the reins to everything—flying career, family, even his future. He hadn’t come close to wanting to do that until now.
Until Jen Fox. The idea of losing her hurt a thousand times more than anything he’d faced up until now. No one made him feel more alive. The peaks and valleys became an adventure with her, not a trial. That mischievous grin and tart tongue could get him through the worst trouble with laughter in his heart.
What could he do? He had no answers—except one.
For the first time since he was a boy, he knelt on the hard wood floor and prayed.
Chapter Twenty-One
Three months later
Jen circled the old trainer plane and brought it in line for the approach. Below her, the grass runway—brilliant green from recent rainfall—stretched straight and narrow between the unmowed fields. She’d landed many times before, but none had mattered as much as this one.
A large circle, marked with white chalk dust, was her target. Hit that, and the license was hers. Jack and Darcy, holding baby John, stood to the side, ready to score her landing.
She checked speed, wind direction and velocity for the umpteenth time. She slowed to the right descent speed, had the perfect angle and could do this in her sleep. Yet the added pressure of the license made her palms sweat.
Concentrate.
She brought the plane lower, held it steady despite a
gust of wind and dropped it onto the runway. The plane bounced and slowed as she applied the brake, but she wasn’t sure if she hit the target. Jack was walking toward her. She couldn’t have hit it dead-on, then.
Disappointment coursed through her veins. The test could be retaken, but how would Jack ever gain confidence in her as a navigator and pilot if she failed the flight test?
She killed the engine. After the propeller slowed to a stop, she pulled off her goggles and helmet and then removed the cotton from her ears.
Jack climbed onto the wing just outside the cockpit. “How do you think you did?”
“A gust of wind sent me sideways, but I brought it back in line for the landing.”
His mouth twitched. “I didn’t ask about the weather conditions. Do you think you passed?”
Jen squared her shoulders. “I believe I earned my license.”
“So do I.” He held out the oh-so-precious license in the leather folder with Hunter School of Aviation embossed in gold on the front.
Jen’s hand trembled. “I did? I hit the target?”
He nodded.
How long she’d wanted this. How difficult the path. Her throat constricted. “My father would be proud.”
Jack clapped her on the shoulder. “He is.” He looked upward into the limitless blue. “I’m sure of it. Well now, how do you plan to celebrate?”
“By bringing the plane into the hangar and completing the postflight check.”
Jack laughed. “’Atta girl. You’ll make a first-class pilot, after all.”
Relief buoyed into elation. “Good enough for the polar attempt?”
“We’ll see. You know how much Darcy wants to do that.” He hopped off. “Meet you in the hangar.”
He gave the propeller a tug, and the motor came to life. Jen taxied ahead before turning the plane. Only then did she see that she had indeed hit the target. Maybe not dead-center, but within the boundary. It would take only a few minutes to reach the hangar, but that was long enough for the emptiness to creep in again.
Over the past three months, the changes in her life had left a deep hole. First Mother boarded the train with Ruth and Sammy. Jen had hugged her mother until the conductor called out that all passengers had to be on board. Then she’d waved until the train disappeared from sight.
Then she and Minnie had removed their belongings from the house. Though Minnie had intended to move in with Beattie and Blake, that plan got changed when Peter’s sister-in-law, Mariah Simmons, needed help at the orphanage. Though Peter had moved into the apartment he was remodeling for them once they married, Jen suspected he went to the orphanage for supper and to see Minnie each evening. Jen moved into the second bedroom in Jack and Darcy’s house. One day soon, this would be the baby’s room, and Jen would have to move out.
She’d saved her wages from running the classroom training for Darcy. The new job came with an increase in wage. That should have lifted her spirits, but every day that she went to the flight school, she remembered Dan’s wavy auburn hair and twinkling blue eyes. His grin and the way he teased her could bring a smile to her face. Then she remembered the comfort of his embrace and the hope it had once given her.
Gone.
Every day she walked by the old house. Every day she expected to see new tenants but it remained sadly vacant, like a child’s abandoned playhouse longing for the joy of family.
Minnie’s wedding brought Mother and Ruth and Sam back for a week, but they weren’t in the old house. They stayed at the boardinghouse, and Jen didn’t get to spend as much time with them as she wanted. They brought good news. Sam’s father, despite lingering paralysis of his left side from the stroke, had regained the ability to speak. The two reconciled, and though Sam refused any inheritance, his father insisted he would receive the library Sam had always enjoyed. In addition, the dress-shop business was booming, and Ruth’s designs had been picked up by a major manufacturer. Ironically, the ready-made gowns would soon appear in Hutton’s Department Stores nationwide as well as their new catalog.
Beatrice and Blake, using profits from their greatly improved mercantile business, planned a summer holiday to the Lake Michigan shore far north in Petoskey so little Tillie and Branford could enjoy building sandcastles and splashing in the cool waters.
All too soon, Ruth, Sam and Mother returned to New York. Minnie moved into the apartment with Peter. Beatrice and Blake left for their holiday. Jen had never felt more alone. True, she was busy at the flight school and helping Darcy with the housework and the baby, but busyness couldn’t fill the hole in her heart.
Celebrate? Jen patted her pocket where she’d tucked the license. Maybe she’d walk to the cemetery and show her daddy that she’d finally made it. Except of course he wasn’t there, any more than the family was in the old house.
She eased the plane into the hangar and killed the motor. Then she climbed out. Even though she knew the procedure by heart, she walked to the office, where the postflight checklist hung on a clipboard.
Except the clipboard wasn’t there.
“Who forgot to put it back?” Jen groused. Every student knew the clipboard was supposed to go back to the same spot so the next person could use it.
Except it was Saturday, so none of the students were there. All the planes were in place. None had gone out earlier.
“What on earth?” Jen shook her head. Jack must have taken it into the office or classroom. It was the only answer.
“Jack?”
He didn’t answer. In fact, the school was deafeningly quiet. He and Darcy must have gone home.
She heaved a sigh. “Some celebration.”
She pushed open the door to the office, and a snowstorm of little pieces of paper rained down on her.
“Congratulations!” cried a roomful of people, half of them with noisemaking rattles and whistles.
Jen brushed the paper from her hair.
Minnie threw her arms around her. “You did it.”
“We’re so proud of you,” Mother said.
“Mother. When did you get here?”
“On this morning’s train,” said Sam, extending his hand. “Congratulations.”
Ruth butted in, Sammy on one hip, yet still managing to look radiant in one of her latest designs. “When Jack told us you were going to get your license this weekend, we had to come west.”
“Jack knew I would get my license?” Jen said.
“Of course.” Darcy hugged her. “We believed in you from the start. I might even be able to talk Jack into letting you on the polar expedition team.”
“Providing the MacMillan expedition doesn’t succeed.”
“How dare they? That accolade belongs right here in Pearlman.” Beattie kissed her on the cheek. “I’m so happy for you.”
“I thought you were at the lakeshore,” Jen marveled.
“We had to come back for this.”
Indeed, Beattie’s whole family was there.
“You came back for me?” Jen couldn’t quite believe it.
“Come along now.” Darcy wrapped her arm around Jen’s. “The cake is in the classroom. Lily baked it especially for you.”
The entire group proceeded next door to the classroom, where seemingly the rest of Pearlman greeted her. From the elder Kensingtons to Hendrick and Mariah Simmons, practically everyone Jen had ever known was there.
Darcy led her to the instructor’s desk, where a large cake with vanilla buttercream icing sported the words Jen Fox, Ace Aviatrix, along with a piped icing depiction of an airplane.
“It’s perfect. Beautiful,” Jen told Lily, owner of the town’s restaurant and bakery.
The woman beamed at the compliment.
Jen looked around the room at all the well-wishers. Pastor Gabe and his wife and children were there. So were Brandon an
d Anna Landers, Peter’s foster sister. This was her family. This entire town. Emotions welled, and she had to blink back tears.
“Thank you,” she managed to choke out.
“Let’s see the license,” Peter said.
For the next few minutes, Jen showed everyone her new license. Then she cut the cake while Minnie ladled punch into little glass cups that looked suspiciously like the ones used at the Valentine’s Day Ball. Jen didn’t even ask Minnie how she’d talked Mrs. Neidecker into loaning her punch set.
It was all too wonderful, and for several precious minutes, Jen felt whole again. Then, after the cake was eaten and the first people drifted away, the emptiness began to return. The day had been perfect except for one thing. Dan wasn’t there.
* * *
Dan paced back and forth in front of his plane. The mowed hayfield crunched underfoot as the sun blazed overhead. A light breeze barely ruffled the seed tops that had missed the reaper. Perfect conditions for flying.
All his sacrifices and preparations had come together in time. He’d set off with excitement coursing through his veins, more alive than ever. Then a cylinder started missing, and he had to bring the plane down. Of all the days to run into trouble, why did it have to be today? If he didn’t know deep inside that he was doing the first right thing he’d done in years, he would start thinking he wasn’t supposed to make it to his destination today.
Instead, he urged the mechanic to hurry. “I need to get there this afternoon.”
The man, standing on a ladder, snapped back, “It’ll be done when it’s done and not a minute sooner.”
Frustrated, Dan raked a hand through his hair and strode to the edge of the field. Fortunately, the man who farmed this field was also a mechanic of sorts, but if the engine had major problems, he wouldn’t be able to fix it.
How else could Dan get there? He was miles from the nearest town and even farther from a passenger rail route. He doubted Harrison, the mechanically inclined farmer, would loan him an automobile. Everything rested on his plane.
Love by Design Page 23