“Think I see a spot that might work. I’ll check.” Not far ahead, the canyon veered sharply southward, and I spied what looked like the edge of a nice big boulder poking past the bend.
Kiran and Lena had passed the bend already; a tense, indistinct murmur of words drifted back, distorted by echoes. I tromped onward with new vigor. If Khalmet really favored us, the boulder wouldn’t have some poor bastard of a black-dagger rotting under it.
“Dev!” Kiran pelted back around the bend. The last of my giddy intoxication vanished.
“Demons? Ruslan? You’ve triggered another spell? What?” I yelled.
Kiran skidded to a halt in front of me. “No. I mean—yes, we found another spell, but it’s broken, the pattern shattered. Not by us. By Ruslan destroying the confluence all those years ago.”
The frantic gallop of my heart slowed, plunging me back into leaden exhaustion. The pack felt as heavy as a mountain on my back. “So Lena doesn’t have to cast—that’s good, right? So why the hurry? Khalmet’s hand, the way you were running, I thought we were fucked.”
“Don’t you see?” Kiran’s eyes blazed with an even wilder light than before. “This means we’re close to the temple.”
I glanced back. Teo had found Melly’s boot. She was trying to shake mud out of it, slow and awkward as a sleepwalker. Even as I watched, Cara lost patience and shoved the boot onto Melly’s foot, rousing her into a querulous protest.
“How close?” I asked Kiran.
“A mile? Two? I doubt it’s more than that. Could be less.” Kiran was practically hopping with eagerness.
Melly would never make it another mile. My aching back and arms clamored that I wouldn’t either. “We can’t go on without resting first.”
“Rest!” Kiran gaped at me. “But—we’re so close! If you need to rest, fine. I’ll go on with Lena and you can catch up.”
“No. We stay together. Anything else is asking for trouble.”
“But—”
“I agreed to go to your damn temple. I didn’t agree to stagger up to it dead exhausted when we’ve no clue what might be waiting for us. If we’re as close as you say, then we’ve enough daylight left to take a break and then push on to reach the temple before nightfall.”
Kiran had that mutinous set to his jaw again. I wanted to smack him. Instead, I took another calming breath and recalled what Teo had told me.
“When was the last time you slept?” I asked.
“I…um.” Kiran’s brow knitted. “I’m not sure.”
“Teo said the magic you took from that charm doesn’t do a damn thing to ease a tired mind. If you find the bone mage’s stash, won’t you need to be sharp to decipher whatever information she’s got about Ashkiza’s weapon?”
He wasn’t looking quite so stubborn anymore. I pushed my advantage. “Amazing what even an hour’s nap can do. The energy to set a faster pace might let us make better time than if we kept slogging on now without stopping.”
“All right,” Kiran said reluctantly. “A short rest.”
Miracle of Khalmet. Better yet, when I rounded the bend I found Lena waiting by a whorled boulder with a flattened top clean of mud and wide enough to fit our entire crew with room to spare. I didn’t check for dead clanfolk. I yelled to Cara that I’d found a rest spot, and promptly threw off my pack and sank onto the boulder with a groan of relief. Kiran said something to Lena, but I didn’t pay attention. My mind kept flittering from one thought to another. Cara, partnership, the temple, Ruslan…gods, I had to clear my head. I closed my eyes, just for a moment.
* * *
Somebody was shaking me. I swatted at them, annoyed, but they didn’t relent.
“Dev.”
“Hunh?” I opened bleary eyes. Lena was leaning over me. The rich colors of the upper cliffs had deepened to reds and browns, leaving us in a cool gray half-light.
I jerked upright. “Why’d you let me sleep so long?” Kiran should’ve told Lena I only meant for us to rest an hour, tops. By the look of the light, I’d been sleeping far longer.
“You needed it,” Lena said. “And not just you.”
Melly was fast asleep beside me, tucked up into a ball so tight she looked like a kid half her age. Cara was sprawled on Melly’s other side, snoring heartily. I should tease her for that when she woke. A reminder of better days, when on convoy jobs we’d mercilessly but good-humoredly mocked each other’s camp habits.
Teo lay on the boulder’s far edge. Even asleep, the lines of his body were edged with silent anguish.
“Where’s Kiran?” I sat up straighter yet, an awful thought piercing me. “Don’t tell me he’s slunk off to the temple on his own.” If he had, I would throttle him, blood mage or no.
“Not that, twin gods be thanked,” Lena said. “He woke earlier and retreated around the bend, saying he needed to relieve himself. He’s not far. I feel his soulfire and nothing seems amiss, but he’s been gone quite some time. I wondered if you would check on him while I wake the others.”
Her eyes were lowered and her tone studiously calm. I wished she and Kiran would hurry up and get over their spat, but I grunted an assent and slid off the boulder. My muscles were stiff and sluggish, but at least they’d lost the dragging weight of utter exhaustion.
Lena had tied her ragged hair into a stubby little tail, but circles remained dark under her eyes, and the rest of her skin looked sallow beneath freckles and dirt.
“Did you get any sleep?” I asked her.
She shrugged. “Some. Teo took first watch. You needn’t worry. I’m ready to cast if necessary.” She held up her hands. Her rings were dull gray, not black.
“Good to know, though I was asking as a friend, not just out of fear of Ruslan.”
That earned me a direct, startled gaze and a bemused little smile. “After Ninavel, I didn’t think you’d ever call me friend.”
“Even after you saved us from the Council? You must think me a hard man.”
Lena looked at me, serious once more. “I think you don’t find forgiveness easy.”
“Maybe it takes me longer than some, but I get there in the end.” Assuming forgiveness was warranted, anyway. In Lena’s case, that was certainly true.
“Friends, then. I’m glad of it.” Hands over her heart, Lena dipped in a shallow bow to me.
Was I supposed to bow back? I settled for an awkward nod. “I’ll get Kiran. Make sure you eat something before we start walking.” We hadn’t much food left; a problem Cara and I would have to address soon. In the meantime, I didn’t want Lena or anyone else keeling over out of some misguided idea of self-sacrifice.
Speaking of self-sacrificial idiots, I was anxious to find out why Kiran had skulked off by himself instead of resting. He was as bad as Melly about getting into trouble the instant I took my eyes off him. I forced sluggish legs into a jog.
Soon as I rounded the bend, I spotted him. He was fifty yards off, facing the canyon’s eastern wall with his back to me. Sharp blue light spilled around him from a source I couldn’t see.
I broke into a flat-out run. “Kiran!”
He turned. The magelight was blazing off his amulet, spilling through the fingers of the hand he’d clenched around it. For a terrible instant, he stared at me without a hint of recognition. It threw me right back to that awful moment in Ninavel when I’d realized Ruslan had burned away his memories. I sucked in a breath to yell for Lena, terrified he was already beyond help, caught in Ruslan’s grip.
Before I got a shout of out my constricted throat, his head tilted and his eyes cleared.
“Don’t look so horrified. I was only bolstering my amulet.”
“Khalmet’s bloodsoaked hand, you were casting? Are you insane?” If he was anybody else, I’d be shoving him against the rock and screaming it right in his face. But fear held me at a wary distance, whispering, What if he’s Ruslan’s now? I didn’t dare get close enough for him to knife me.
Kiran brandished a bloodied palm at me. “Not casting. Not properly. Onl
y augmenting the amulet’s pattern with what power I can infuse through blood contact. Limited as that is, it’s better than nothing. Or did you wish me to wait for Ruslan to start seeing through my eyes again?”
Lena hadn’t felt Kiran casting. Proof he was telling the truth? But behind him on the canyon wall, I almost thought I could make out a pattern. Dark, ragged lines like he’d smeared blood on the stone. I edged closer, squinting.
“If what you’re doing is as safe as you claim, then why do it in secret?”
“Because I’m tired of arguing,” Kiran said. “Lena thinks I should abstain completely from any use of magic, but I can’t simply cower and wait for Ruslan to attack again. I have to counter him before he moves, or I’ll never defeat him.”
Now I was closer to the cliff, I couldn’t make out a pattern anymore. Maybe it’d never been there to start with. I certainly agreed with Kiran that we had to start getting ahead of Ruslan. But still…
“Lena’s not the only one worried for you.” I stumbled through an explanation of what Teo had said about Kiran’s soul, wishing I had the least idea of what I was talking about. I was braced for Kiran to dismiss that concern too. What I wanted to watch was his body language while he did it.
He surprised me. Solemn and earnest, he said, “I know what Teo sees. Why do you think I want so badly to find the temple? When I was in the demon realm, I was as helpless as an untrained child. The scarred demon cast on me, and I couldn’t block the spell or even see the pattern properly. I don’t know precisely what the demon did to me—and yes, that scares me. The bone mage had long years to study her allies, and she was the one to work their will upon me. If her vault holds her journals—if I could just learn what was done to me as a child, I might understand how to protect myself from…further alteration.”
Gods, Kiran. Sometimes I wished so badly I could hide him away somewhere nobody could harm him again.
“Dev! Is everything all right?” Lena’s yell echoed off the cliffs. She’d come far enough around the bend she could see us.
Kiran threw me a pleading glance. Damn it, he was right about one thing: we hadn’t the time to waste in squabbling.
“We’re fine,” I called back. “Get everyone moving. We’ll catch up.”
“Thank you,” Kiran said quietly. “It’s not that I want to hide what I’ve done. I just don’t want any more delay in reaching the temple.”
He hurried back toward the bend. I lengthened my stride to keep pace. “I’ve no interest in delaying, either. But if you’ve nothing to hide, you’d best prove it. If you don’t tell Lena what you’ve done to your amulet, I will. And next time, you fucking talk to someone first. Not slink off to do gods-know-what magic behind our backs without a word of warning. You’re not in this alone against Ruslan. So stop making decisions like you are.”
The line of Kiran’s shoulders tightened. “I never forget that you’re all at risk. Never.”
“That’s not what I meant,” I said. “Cara and Lena and I—and Teo, if he’s got the stick out of his ass—we’re fighting at your side. If you learned a damn thing when you looked at my memories, it should be that keeping secrets from your rope-partners is a fast route to disaster. Like this business about the scarred demon casting on you—why didn’t you tell me earlier?” I wouldn’t have pushed half so hard for him to bargain with the scarred demon if he had.
“Because I’m certain we can find the bone mage’s vault, but I’m not certain of what she left inside. If I don’t find enough information on Ashkiza’s weapon, then…” Kiran sighed. “I didn’t want you to worry I won’t do whatever’s necessary to stop Ruslan. Because I will. Even if it means dealing with demons or—or fighting Mikail.”
I didn’t miss his choice of words. Fighting, not killing Mikail. But I had other concerns. “Ruslan knows we’re going to the temple. I know you say channeled magic takes time to design and cast, and you’re hoping speed will let us beat him. But what if you’re wrong, and he’s waiting there for us? He can’t cast against us, but against you…”
Kiran said, “Now that he’s past his first rage over Lizaveta’s death, he’ll be cautious, believing I have my own demon allies. He won’t readily leave Ninavel’s confluence and forfeit its strength and protection. Even through his anger, he’ll be curious why I’m seeking the temple—especially since he knows nothing warded or magical in nature could have survived the confluence’s disruption. I think he’ll wait to attack until we leave the temple’s halls. He’ll think that way he can take both me and whatever knowledge I discover.”
“You think he’ll know when we leave the temple because of me.” Or rather, the Shaikar-cursed demon magic inside me. Lena had been right that demons could still track me despite her block. It explained how the black-daggers had caught up to us so quickly. They hadn’t needed to hunt for our trail. “Gods all damn this binding! I hate that I’m marking us out for Ruslan. Can’t you help Lena sever the spell?”
Kiran said, “The binding is an advantage for us as much as Ruslan. So long as you stay with me, Ruslan can’t cast as he did in the Whitefires. No storms, fires, floods, rockslides, anything that might harm you. We may even be able to use the bond against him.”
“How? You…oh.” I saw what he was getting at, and I didn’t like it one bit. “If this vault holds the knowledge you hope, then you mean to fool Ruslan using me. Leave me behind in the temple while you sneak off to find this gods-cursed weapon.”
“Possibly,” Kiran admitted. “It depends on what we learn. Given what Lena said of Marten, I think you’re right that Ashkiza’s weapon is hidden in Alathia. That means it’s too far away to reach in time by ordinary methods of travel. But if I can learn the secret of traveling the demon realm, then…”
I thought of Vidai, who had been able to cover distances in an eyeblink and pass the strongest of wards. “That’d be one hell of an advantage.”
“Exactly,” Kiran said, eyes alight.
All right, I could understand why he was so hot to find the temple. I just hoped he wasn’t wrong about Ruslan.
We rounded the bend. Lena and the others had left the boulder and were moving down the next stretch of canyon. Teo had one pack, Cara the other, and I was pleased to see Melly craning her neck to scan the canyon as she trotted along. If she had the energy for curiosity, she could walk long enough to reach the temple, assuming we were as close as Kiran thought. The cliffs hemming us in remained sheer and high enough to block any view of what might lie above them, but my outrider’s sense of distance said we ought to be within the Maw’s needles by now.
“If we’re nearing the temple, does anything look familiar to you?” I asked Kiran.
Kiran shook his head. “When Ruslan’s block failed, much that was locked behind it was destroyed. The memories I recovered prior to the block’s destruction, I recall. The rest—I’ve only scattered impressions left. Flashes, there and gone like ice crystals melting on my tongue. For all I know, I was born within the temple’s walls and never left them until Ruslan took me. It was night then, and all I saw was fire.” His hand stole up to rub at his chest. “I suppose now I know why as a child I used to dream of being burned alive. Mikail always said—” He swallowed the rest, with an unhappy glance at me.
“Look, about Mikail. I get that Ruslan fucked you and him—” over, I’d meant to say. But Kiran flinched. Not a little twitch either, but a deep, full-body recoil.
I couldn’t speak, not even to curse. I’d suspected, but the confirmation sent rage boiling so hot it turned my blood to molten magefire. All I could think was how slowly I wanted Ruslan to die. Screaming. Doused in acid. An inch of him hacked off at a time. He already deserved death, ten thousand times over, for all the lives he’d taken. But for everything he’d done to Kiran, I wanted his arrogance ripped away. I wanted him to know what it was to be a helpless, agonized, despairing victim trapped without hope of release.
Kiran’s cheeks flamed red as the canyon walls. “Stop it. Stop looking at me like
I’m some broken thing to be pitied. He didn’t force me. I wanted it. I liked it.”
He flung the words at me like daggers, yet his eyes held such shame it yanked me clear of fury. He didn’t want pity, but he thought the only other option was my disgust and condemnation. He was braced for me to turn my anger on him; to say, You took pleasure with a monster like Ruslan? You’re every bit as bad as Mikail.
I found my tongue at last. “And all Ruslan had to do to ensure you’d gladly share his bed was rip out half your memories. Yeah, no coercion there.”
Lena and Cara had slowed, throwing worried glances back at us. I waved urgently for them to keep on walking. If I were Kiran, last thing I’d want was for this to be a public conversation.
“You don’t understand,” Kiran said again, this time in a raw whisper. “I didn’t remember everything, no. But I knew how Ruslan cast magic. How he wanted me to cast. Yet still, I let him and Lizaveta…”
“You think I don’t know how it feels to want affection so bad you snatch at any chance to get it?”
That got his attention. “You—you’re not saying Red Dal—”
“No,” I said. “Red Dal isn’t the kind to get his kinks from kids. But if he was, I’d have been his jenny-boy in an eyeblink and never dreamed of saying no. Or Sethan…not long after I met him, Jylla started making all these sly little digs about how his friendship was a sham aimed at easing me between his sheets.”
This wasn’t a story I’d ever wanted to tell. But Kiran was actually listening, so I forced myself to keep going. “I thought she must be right. She was so clever at reading people, and I couldn’t think why else Sethan was being so nice to a surly streetside brat.” It’d hurt to think he was playing me for a mark, but I hadn’t shied away from him as Jylla must’ve hoped I’d do. I loved climbing with him too much.
“I went to him and straight out offered to be his jenny-boy, on the condition he kept teaching me outriding skills even after he tired of me.” At fourteen, the only experience I had in bedding men was a few fumbling explorations with Tavian’s other runner-boys, but I’d enjoyed that just fine, and hell. Sethan might’ve been twice my age, but he was far from ugly.
The Labyrinth of Flame (The Shattered Sigil Book 3) Page 44