NINETEEN
Zara saw the world turn upside down a couple of times, like some kind of bad trip. Then she hit the ground hard, landing on her back. All the breath left her body and she struggled to breathe. In, out, in, out …
Finally, after what seemed like half a lifetime but was probably just a second or two, her lungs started working again. Only then did she become aware of shouts, screams, and lots of running around.
Marissa dropped to her knees beside her. “Are you okay?” she exclaimed, practically sobbing. “Oh God, Zara, speak to me!”
Before Zara could answer, she saw Tommi shove the other girl aside and crouch down. “Don’t move,” she ordered, sounding so much like Jamie that Zara would’ve laughed if she hadn’t been pretty sure it would hurt too much.
“I’m fine,” she said, pushing herself up into a sitting position with a groan. “What happened?”
“The horse flipped over the jump.” Tommi shot a look across the ring. “Luckily for you, you got thrown clear.”
Zara followed her gaze. A small crowd was gathered around the snazzy-looking chestnut she’d been riding. Kate was at its head, leading it around at a walk, but Zara couldn’t see much else.
“Oops,” she said. “He okay?”
“Well, he got up. That’s a start.”
Dani came running over. “He’s lame,” she reported breathlessly. “Kate wants you to call Jamie and the vet.”
Tommi nodded and pulled out her cell phone. “Wait!” Zara said. The fall had knocked most of the buzz out of her, and her brain was clicking along at top speed as she worked out what had just happened—and what was probably going to happen next. “You can’t call Jamie.”
“We have to.” Tommi was already scrolling down her numbers list.
Zara lunged over and grabbed the phone out of her hand. The movement made her bare thigh scrape across the footing, grinding more of it into her raw skin. Ouch. That one was going to leave a mark. No more short shorts for a while.
“Give that back!” Tommi said, grabbing for the phone.
“Just listen.” Zara hid the phone behind her back. “You can’t let Jamie know about this. I’m already on probation, remember?”
“Yeah, well, you should’ve thought about that before you pulled a stupid stunt like this.” Tommi’s eyes were cold and completely lacking in sympathy.
“Tommi!” Kate was coming toward them, leading the chestnut horse. “Did you get Jamie yet?”
“Trying.” Tommi glared at Zara. “Give me back my phone.”
Zara was watching the horse. “He doesn’t look lame to me.”
“I just jogged him out,” Kate told her. “He was head-bobbing from the first step. I think it might be his left front suspensory.”
“Oh, man!” Marissa shook her head. “That sounds bad. My aunt had to retire her good hunter because of a suspensory thing.”
Zara glanced around, feeling desperate. Over half the partyers had melted away after the crash, along with the other horses. Those remaining were gathered around Zara and the injured horse. Kate, Marissa, Summer, Dani, Max, that hot friend of Tommi’s … all of them staring at her. Judging her. Probably knowing it was their last chance to do so before Jamie kicked her out so fast and hard she wound up back on the West Coast.
“Don’t call, or else!” she blurted out.
Tommi rolled her eyes. “Or else what?” she said, taking another swipe at her and grabbing the phone this time.
“Or else, um, I’ll tell Jamie that Javier’s in the country illegally,” Zara blurted out.
It was the only thing she could think of, and a total stab in the dark based on the kid’s heavy accent and general air of anxiety. But when she saw Max’s eyes widen, she guessed she’d hit the mark. Score.
“That’s right,” she said, embellishing. “I know his papers are forged. And if you guys tell anyone what happened here tonight, Jamie’ll know it, too.”
She saw Tommi shoot a look at Max, then at Kate. For a second there was silence as everyone stared at one another.
Finally Max spoke. “I’ll take Ford back to the stall and rub him down,” he said. “He’ll probably be okay with some rest.”
“Yeah,” Marissa said quickly. “He might’ve just stung himself on the rail. He’ll probably be fine in the morning.”
Dani and Summer were already nodding. Zara looked at Tommi and Kate. They were exchanging a long stare.
Finally Tommi shrugged, and Kate spoke. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt to wait and see how he is in the morning,” she said softly.
Tommi’s head was pounding when she arrived at the showgrounds the next morning, and she doubted any amount of caffeine would help much. She’d tossed and turned all night, wondering if it had been wrong to give in to Zara’s blackmail. But what other choice did they have? Jamie was a stickler about immigration status—always said the horse world had a bad enough rap for that sort of thing without him adding to it. If he found out Javier was illegal, the kid would be back on the bus to Mexico before he could say adios. It was too late to take back what had happened to the horse; why should both of them pay for Zara’s bad judgment?
Still, the decision didn’t sit easy with her. She was so distracted that she was almost on top of the injured horse’s stall before she noticed the vet stepping out of it with Jamie right behind him.
“I’ll stop back later this morning to check on him,” the vet said. Nodding to Tommi, she hurried off.
“What’s going on?” Tommi asked Jamie.
He sighed and ran one hand down his face. “Ford managed to injure himself last night somehow,” he said. “Torn suspensory and possibly a wither fracture. Best we can guess is he must’ve gone down in his stall and gotten cast.”
“Wow.” Tommi’s stomach lurched. Even worse than she’d thought. She couldn’t believe Jamie and the vet actually thought the horse could’ve hurt himself so badly just thrashing around on his side, wedged up against a stall wall trying to get his feet under himself. Then again, horses could injure themselves in all sorts of crazy ways. And if everyone assumed the horse hadn’t left the stall …
“Yeah. Horse was peachy when I left last night. Miguel discovered there was a problem when he went to get him for his morning lunge.” Jamie shot her a look. “You didn’t hear anything last night, did you? A little bird told me you kids came back over here after hours.”
Figured he’d hear about that somehow. Not much got past Jamie.
“Nope, sorry.” Tommi hated lying to Jamie’s face like that. Hated it almost enough to tell him the truth—Zara be damned. But then she saw Javier scurry past at the far end of the aisle with a saddle over each arm, and that reminded her again why she was doing this.
But she still really, really hated it.
“Thanks, Javier,” Kate said as the young groom tightened Fable’s girth another notch. She didn’t look him in the eye as he nodded and turned to hurry off to his next task—she was afraid he’d read the guilt written all over her. Had Max or anyone else told him about Zara’s threat? She couldn’t tell. He was as quiet and efficient as ever, his face an emotionless mask.
She was trying not to obsess over everything that had happened last night, but it wasn’t easy. Her mind skipped back and forth from the incident in the hay stall to the accident in the ring and back again, both events growing larger and more horrible every time she thought about them. She’d managed to avoid both Fitz and Jamie so far that morning, though Tommi had told her what the vet had said.
“Ready, big guy?” she whispered as she slipped on Fable’s bridle.
The horse snorted and nudged at her, almost knocking her back against the wall. She gave him a pat and a tug on the reins to get him moving. At least freaking out over Fitz and the accident hadn’t left her much time to get nervous about her first Big Eq class on Fable.
But as soon as she mounted to start her warm-up, her show nerves came screaming out of hiding, crowding out the rest of her problems, at least for no
w. Could she do this? She and Fable had been doing much better since that first disastrous lesson. But were they ready for the big time?
She stayed in the warm-up ring for as long as she dared, half tempted to skip the class entirely. But no. She couldn’t do that. Jamie had gone out of his way to make this happen for her, and she couldn’t let him down.
“Okay, buddy,” she told Fable with a sigh, giving him a pat. “Here goes nothing.”
As she rode toward the show ring, Kate picked out Jamie’s slim form near the gate. Even from the back she could tell from the tense set of his shoulders that he was totally focused on what was going on in the ring. When she got closer, Kate could see why. Fitz had just started his course.
Seeing him made the feelings from last night flood through her all over again—the good ones as well as the bad. She stopped her horse near the gate and watched as Fitz rode. He was relaxed but aggressive—and totally hot, which made Kate feel flustered and angry at the same time. He attacked each fence, each challenge, with a keen focus, making the tough course look easy.
Fitz was smiling as he rode out of the ring. He tossed a grin and a quip at Jamie, then turned his head and saw Kate sitting there on her horse.
“Kate!” he blurted out. “Where have you been? I’ve been trying to—”
“Kate, you’re up,” Jamie called at that moment, cutting him off. “Warm-up go okay?”
She nodded, not trusting her voice to respond.
“Good. Just remember what we worked on last week—rhythm, impulsion, just keep things flowing and look for your spots, and Fable can handle the rest. Okay?” He patted the horse on the neck, then stepped back and waved her past him.
Kate’s mind felt numb as she rode into the ring. Luckily her body was pretty much on autopilot, sending Fable into a trot and then a canter, steering him into the beginning of their opening circle.
She knew she had to snap out of it. Fable wasn’t an overly sensitive type of horse like Ellie or Legs; he wasn’t likely to get upset if she wasn’t paying attention. But this wasn’t a hunter course. There were several tricky elements to it, a tight rollback and some other twists and turns, along with the usual funky distances. He was going to need some guidance from her at some point if she didn’t want to make a total fool of herself.
For a second she felt dizzy with helplessness. Maybe she should just pull up, excuse herself, leave the ring.
She glanced over at the gate as she came out of the circle. Jamie’s face jumped out at her from among the crowd of people standing there; he saw her looking, smiled, and gave her a thumbs-up.
That was when she knew she couldn’t give up. Couldn’t let him down—or herself, either. Couldn’t let Fitz ruin this for her.
What would Tommi do if she were me? she asked herself as she aimed Fable at the first fence. She knew what she wouldn’t do. She wouldn’t let some stupid guy throw her off her game. She’d pick herself up, dust herself off, and ride.
Doing her best to channel her friend’s strength, Kate shortened Fable’s stride slightly, aiming at the first obstacle, an inviting vertical. They met it perfectly, and just like that, the course snapped into sharp focus and Kate stopped thinking about anything else.
By the end of the course, Kate had stopped thinking completely. She and Fable were like one creature, communicating without words, moving together flawlessly. It was the best feeling in the world.
Jamie was grinning when she rode out. “See?” he called to her. “Told ya you could do it! Outstanding!”
“Thanks.” Kate beamed at him, then leaned down to give Fable a pat as she rode out through the gate. “And thanks for Fable. He’s amazing!”
Her smile froze on her face as she turned and saw Fitz. He must have handed off his horse to one of the grooms, and now he was standing there with his helmet tucked under his arm. “Congrats,” he said. “If you don’t pin after that round, the judge is either blind or clueless.”
Kate didn’t answer, shifting her gaze to some point on the horizon as she urged Fable on past him. Jamie had already turned to give Summer some last-minute advice as she got ready for her go.
“Kate, wait!” Fitz hurried to catch up with her. “I want to talk to you.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.” Kate had been about to dismount, but instead she nudged Fable into a walk, riding him in the direction of the show stalls.
Fitz had to jog to keep up with the long-strided horse. “Come on, aren’t you even going to let me apologize?” he said. “I’m sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have pushed you like that—it was totally uncool. I wanted to get closer to you, that’s all. I just got carried away.”
By now they were well beyond the in-gate crowd at a relatively private spot between rings. Kate halted the horse and glared down at him, unable to listen anymore. “How stupid do you think I am?” she cried. “I fell for your crap once; I’m not going to fall for it again.”
“It’s not crap! Not this time. I told you—you’re different, Kate.” He put a hand on her leg.
She kicked it off so ferociously that Fable tossed his head and skittered to one side. “Don’t touch me,” she hissed at Fitz.
“Please, Kate.” He kept his hands to himself, but took a step closer. “You really are different. That’s not just a line, I mean it. You’re probably the sweetest, most amazing person I’ve ever met, and it kills me to think I hurt you this much. I never meant to do that. What do I have to say to convince you? What do I have to do to prove it?”
“You can’t,” she said. “You blew your chance last night.”
“Aargh!” He grabbed his hair with the hand that wasn’t holding his helmet. “This is so … Seriously, Kate. Do you need some kind of big dramatic gesture or something to convince you I’m for real here? Because I’ll do it, whatever it takes. Boom box outside your window, tattooing your name on my face, you name it.”
“I don’t want anything from you.” She gave Fable another nudge, sending him ambling along again. “Why should I believe anything you say?”
“Because it’s all true,” he insisted, still keeping up with her. “I’m ready to do anything. Make whatever sacrifice you want. Seriously.”
She stopped again and shot him a look, her anger bubbling up anew. “Are you kidding me with this?” she exclaimed. “You’ve never been serious about anything in your life. You just float through without ever putting much effort into anything. Except maybe riding and scamming girls. Your two true talents.” Her face twisted in a humorless smile. “Everyone knows how you are. I know how you are. You don’t even know what sacrifice is. And you definitely don’t know anything about what I really want.”
“Kate …,” he began, looking surprised. And maybe a little hurt?
Whatever. She couldn’t look at him anymore; couldn’t take it anymore. If she stayed here any longer, she was afraid she might burst into tears. She kicked Fable forward, heading back to the barn at a brisk trot.
TWENTY
So far, the best part of Zara’s morning was the hangover. Her pounding head and the queasy feeling in her stomach occasionally managed to distract her from how everyone was treating her like a turd in the punch bowl. The grooms had been shooting her dirty looks every time they saw her, along with most of the other juniors. Even freaking Summer was staying away from her, which somehow irked her even more than the rest.
The only one acting normal was Jamie. Well, normal for him, anyway. She would take what she could get.
“I should probably just blow out of here early,” she murmured to Keeper as she stopped by his stall to give him a pat. “You don’t care if we skip your jumper division, do you?”
It was tempting. Why not bail? It wasn’t as if anyone wanted her here.
But she knew she couldn’t do it. Jamie would be mad if she ditched the jumper class she’d been talking about all week. And maybe suspicious. She’d heard that the horse she’d ridden last night was in kind of bad shape. Not that anyone had told her, since
nobody was talking to her. But she’d heard a couple of people whispering about it.
She spent the rest of the morning hanging around near the rings watching a bunch of boring unrated classes, then had lunch—by herself. After that she wandered back to the stabling area to see if Keeper was ready yet. Javier had him in the cross-ties waiting for her.
“He’s almost ready, miss,” he said in his soft, polite voice.
Zara just nodded, not daring to look him in the eye. Did he know? Had anyone told him what she’d done?
“Listen, Javier,” she began.
Then she stopped. What was she supposed to say next? Sorry I threatened to get you deported, nothing personal, I didn’t mean it? She couldn’t say that, even though it was kind of true. If she let anyone call her bluff, that would be it. She’d be out of here for good. There was no easy fix this time.
Before she could figure out what to do, Jamie hurried in. “There you are,” he said, pointing at Zara. “Come on, get your bridle on and let’s go. The others are already warming up.”
Soon Zara was riding into the crowded warm-up ring. Several of her barnmates were in this division—Fitz, Dani, Tommi. But she was careful not to look at any of them, keeping her attention on her horse when she wasn’t looking at Jamie.
When Tommi and Dani left with Jamie to head over to the ring, she relaxed a little. Fitz hadn’t been there last night as far as she’d noticed, though he had to know all the sordid details by now. She shot him a look or two as they both rode around, and once she caught him looking back at her. But he didn’t make any move to ride over to her, so she made sure to keep her distance.
Then it was her turn. Keeper felt good as they entered the ring—loose, alert, focused. He flicked his ears at one of the more colorful jumps at this end of the ring and she smiled, feeling better than she had all day.
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