“Lily, stop.”
She heard the words, calm through the maniacal need in her mind to rid herself of Sneedly.
Garek knelt, balancing on his heels so she could see his face. His hand went to her wet neck, trying to still her. “You need to stop, Lily. Your cheek and ear are red. They will be bloody soon.”
Her hand on her ear, scrubbing, made her jerk against Garek’s slippery hold. She wanted to stop. But every second that passed and she thought she could, her hand kept going down for more water, splashing it into her right ear and rubbing.
One more rinse, and it would be clean. One more. One more.
Garek’s other hand went around her neck. He had her captive, and he gently tugged her forward, away from the bucket.
Her hand fumbled behind her into the bucket for one last splash of water, bringing it to her ear, her palm forcing the liquid into the cavity.
His clamp around her neck lifted her upright, still clutching her ear. She met Garek’s dark hazel eyes, knowing she looked ridiculous, her head half sopping, clutching her ear. A madwoman. But it was still on her, Sneedly’s breath, his spit.
Slowly, Garek slid his left hand from the back of her neck upward. His fingers slipped under her palm pressed against her ear, the warmth of his hand enveloping her skin, her ear. Silent, his gaze stayed on her, his eyes flickering when she first flinched at the invasion.
Lily’s fingers curled around his hand, her eyes closing as she pressed her head into his palm. He let her stay there for minutes, on her knees, motionless, while his hand calmed her mind, calmed her breath.
Her eyes slid open. Garek was still watching her, the green flecks in his eyes bright. His overwhelming concern was evident without a word.
She tugged his left hand downward from her ear, holding it between her palms in front of her chest. “How do you do that?”
“Do what?” His fingers still on her neck tightened, sending shivers along her spine.
“You touch me, Garek, and everything is right. All the wrong, gone—banished.”
His head shook softly. “I do not know, Lily. But you do the same for me. Make me forget everything but looking at you. Wanting you.”
His head bowed.
Staring at the crown of his head, his dark hair, sudden panic enveloped Lily’s chest. Had Sneedly so soiled her that Garek had to avoid her? What if he couldn’t look at her anymore?
Garek’s chin rose, unmistakable heat in his eyes as they trailed up her body. Forever moments passed before his gaze met her eyes.
“Marry me, Lily. I love you. I want you. I need to protect you—and marrying you would make that a hell of a lot easier.”
Stunned, Lily dropped backward, pulling Garek’s hand with her as she landed on her calves. “W-what?”
His right hand stayed wrapped around her neck as his shins went flat to the ground, mirroring Lily’s. His knees met with hers on the hay as he leaned forward, his forehead collapsing onto hers. “Marry me, Lily Silverton. Marry me.”
Her eyes closed. “Garek, I…I do not want it like this. I do not want to be a problem that you have to solve by marrying me.”
“Look at me, Lily.”
She opened her eyelids.
“Lily, solving this problem—protecting you—is merely a bonus to marrying you—an excuse I can use to ask you today, this very moment, when I know I have no right to. I have nothing to offer you, Lils, except me. But know that I would have asked you a week ago, a month ago instead of today if I thought I could have. Or I will ask you tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, and every day until you say yes.”
“But I fear with Bree—we have no home, our lives are in shambles. I am afraid…”
“Afraid of what?”
Lily bit her tongue. She couldn’t let him know this. But then her mouth opened, words tumbling. “Afraid you are confusing pity with love.”
An instant chuckle left his lips. “Pity you? The woman that dismantles an abbey? Chances a complete stranger to save her sister? Attacks the man trying to freeze her and her family to death? You are a fighter, Lils. So no—pity has never even entered my mind when I look at you. Lots of things have entered my mind.” His hand on her neck moved forward, his thumb catching her lip, tracing the lower edge of it as his voice turned heated. “Far too many things. But not that. Not pity.”
Lily’s breath caught. “You are certain?”
“I have been certain for weeks, Lily. But I have been holding back, waiting for the right time for this—for us. But the right moment in time has conspired against us, never appeared. Between your sister, Sneedly, moving you, all of it.”
His thumb slipped downward, dragging along her jawline as he cupped her face. “But I am done being afraid of timing. Of feeling guilty for wanting you in the midst of all the turmoil, for not being able to offer you the world. I want you Lily. I have since the moment we met. And that need has only intensified. Intensified because I have fallen so deeply in love with you, there is no other option than to make you mine. You are my heart, Lily. And I am done waiting for the right time.”
He stopped, clearing his throat as thick words he clearly did not want to utter came forth. “Unless you do not want me?”
“No. Never think that. Ever.” She dropped his hand at her chest, her hands moving up to clamp his face, her palms running across the dark stubble. “I love you, Garek. And if you are done waiting, then I am done, as well.” A smile broke wide on her face, her words breathless. “Yes. Yes. Yes.”
His lips were on hers in an instant, his hand under her cloak and around her waist, dragging her to his body.
From her knees on the ground to her chest, her body molded into his, the width of him taking her over, heating her. His mouth opened, demanding more from her, demanding she open to him, let him in.
Lily lost herself. Lost herself in the muscles of his chest pressing against her breasts, lost herself in his breath on her face, his tongue exploring. Garek’s hand slipped forward around her neck, unlatching her cloak, and the heavy fabric dropped from her shoulders.
His fingers stayed on the front of her neck, his thumb sliding downward, edging below the trim of her black dress, her chemise, and the top of her stays.
More. The only thought in Lily’s head at the invasion of his fingers onto her skin. More.
Toes curling in her boots, her hands went up, fingers wrapping into his hair as she tilted her head, opening herself more to him.
More.
Cheeks throbbing, her heart wild, she angled her chest so he could reach deeper, go farther. “You make—”
His hand came up, fingers along her jaw shifting her head upward so he had access to her neck. His lips, his teeth went along her skin, stealing her words.
“Make you, what, Lily?” he asked, his voice a low rumble.
She couldn’t help her hips from pressing forward, pressing into him, the large bulge in his trousers digging into her belly. “I did not know this existed in my body. Bree told me of the motions, the specifics, but not this. Not what is happening in my body right now.”
Gasping, his lips on her neck sending fire to chase along her spine, she slid her fingers downward, digging into his shoulders, the muscles along his arms. She grabbed his hand under her chin, dragging it down her body.
“This, what this is doing to me.” She pressed his hand into her skirts between her legs. “Here.”
His hand jerked from her hold. “Hell, Lily.”
She pulled back, confused. “I—was that wrong?”
“No. Hell no, Lils. There is no shame in any of this—not between us. I was not expecting it. But it is right—too right.” His hand went behind her neck, not letting her pull away with his next words. “But this should not lead to where we want to go. Not yet.”
“Why? You make me feel this, yet you cannot touch me?”
“There is nothing I want to do more in the world right now than to feel you, my hands on your body, on your skin.”
She s
tared into his eyes, the green shards in the hazel vibrating with hunger, reading his every intention. This man would never harm her, never let her feel anything less than cherished, wanted, loved.
She knew it—knew it in her soul. “No hesitation. I am not denying you, Garek.”
His head dropped, hiding his face from her for a moment. With a deep breath he looked up to her, searching her face. “We can wait, Lily. We can post bans tomorrow—then only two weeks to wait. A proper marriage. A proper bed.”
“You were the one that said you no longer feared timing, Garek. And I am not afraid. I want this. I want you. I do not want to wait.” Her fingers on his shoulders moved to clasp behind his neck. “Two weeks from now, maybe there will be a bed. Maybe there will not. Either way, it has no consequence on this very moment. This moment when you can kiss me.”
Her left fingers fell from his neck to trail along his arm, landing on the back of his hand on her shoulder. “This moment when you can touch me.”
Achingly slow, she dragged his hand downward, setting his fingers over her left breast. He flinched, but she held his hand in place, squeezing it.
She moved her face closer to his, her lips only a breath away from his skin. “This moment when you can make me yours.”
His muscles strained against her, his voice the gravel of a tortured man. “Once done, Lils, we cannot go back.”
Pressing forward, she kissed him softly, opening her mouth to him with a whisper. “I am feeling something very real for the first time in a very long time, Garek. Real in my soul. Real in my skin. You holding me. Touching me. Do not take it away. Not in this moment.”
“I would give up my life for you, Lils, but I have to ask again. This cannot be undone. Ever. Once you are mine. You are mine always.”
She gave a slight shake of her head, her lips moving down along his jaw. The prickle of his stubble tickled her lips, roughed her skin. “I do not want to go back, Garek. There is nothing for me in the past. Only the future. The future with you.”
With a growl rumbling from deep in his chest, Garek found her lips, kissing her hard. Hard with purpose. His hand on her breast needed no prodding, cupping then rolling the nipple through the cloth until it was taut, straining for him.
Wrapping an arm around her, he wedged a foot up, grabbing her cloak as he stood, lifting her. Five steps backward into the stall piled high with hay, and Garek flung her cloak down, spreading it wide.
He spun them, setting free a low laugh from Lily’s chest, and then she was sinking into the hay, Garek on top of her, looking down. All doubt had disappeared from his eyes, only sheer, heart-pounding desire left.
Unbuttoning his waistcoat, Lily wedged her hands under his dark jacket, and shoved both pieces off his shoulders, stripping him free of them.
He descended, his mouth on her neck, and it took her a moment to realize Garek had tugged down the top of her dress, freeing her breasts to the air. The chilliness shocked her skin as Garek paused to take her in, hungry. He sank to her chest, his mouth enveloping her right nipple as his hand went to her other one.
“Heaven help me, Lils, I want every bit of your skin bared to me, but it is cold.”
Lightning from his tongue ricocheted down her body to collect, boiling in her core. Her hands folded into the back of his head, holding him tight to her breast, as her hips writhed under him on their own accord. “As long as you are on me, Garek, I am warm—hot.”
He groaned, taking one breath to lift from her and yank off his linen shirt.
His bare chest hovered above her, and Lily almost choked. “The devil in hades, Garek.”
Her hands ran down the front of him, over his chest, down the lines of muscles along his belly. “I knew you were large—strong—but you are beautiful.”
He smirked down at her. “You only know beauty if you are seeing what I am seeing, Lils.” He dove, attacking her nipples once more.
Her hips instantly reacted to the onslaught, twisting under him, silently imploring him to touch her, to soothe the pounding blood in her core that had only boiled hotter.
Eyes closed, her head arched backward, Lily didn’t recognize her own voice as it left her. “Please, Garek, please,” she moaned, not even knowing what she was begging for.
At her words, his hand dipped down, moving under her skirts, dragging them upward as his fingers trailed along her leg, up to her inner thigh. At the first touch of his thumb in her folds, she jerked, gasping with a yelp, and gripping him harder to her chest.
She felt Garek shift, look up at her face, but she couldn’t talk, couldn’t move for fear his hand would leave her. It was exactly what she had been begging for, and not even known it. But he knew. He knew full well.
A chuckle vibrated from his chest as he circled his thumb, teasing her to arch upward, fully into him. In the moment that her hands shifted past his shoulders, fingernails digging into his back, demanding he drop onto her, Garek eased away for a second.
Too far from her. Too long. And she yanked on his shoulders.
In the next instant his face was above hers, questioning, and Lily could feel him poised, the head of him pressing into her entrance.
She glanced down, unable to see anything past her bunched up skirt.
“It cannot be undone, Lils. You are mine.”
A statement, a question, she wasn’t sure. But his thumb circled in her folds, made her strain upward, and she could only bear one answer.
With the slightest gasp, she nodded. Needing this. Needing him.
A grimace etched his face, and he slid into her. Slow, bit by tiny bit, letting her body stretch open to him. He held her eyes the entire time, but Lily gave him no reason to stop, even when her membrane tore, her legs only tightened around him, pulling him deeper.
His hips met hers, his shaft embedded deep, and he exhaled with a shudder. A shudder that ran along his back, vibrating under her fingers.
“Lils? Pain? Tell me there is no pain.”
She gasped for air, meeting his eyes. “No. Only you. I…”
Her words fell away as Garek withdrew, his thumb rotating in her folds, bringing her body back to the agony that had yet to be sated. When she was writhing once more, he slid into her again, back and forth, bringing her to a peak, then easing the grind away.
Desperate. Making her desperate. Gasps with every breath.
“Garek. Gar—”
“Open it. Let it go, Lils.
The words in her throat turned into a scream as her body clenched around him. She lost all feeling in her arms and feet as explosions ripped through her core, consuming her.
Garek sped, the sound of his breath filling her head as he strained, his hips sending him ever deeper. With a growl, he expanded into her body, filling her.
His body throbbing, muscles twitching to match her own, Garek collapsed on her, pressing her deep into the hay. It took several long breaths before he moved, flipping them, holding Lily tight to him.
She flattened herself on top of his body, her head on his chest, the blood pounding in her ears matching the thundering of his heart.
Garek’s hand went into her hair, still wet from the bucket, taking strands and smoothing them as he untangled them from bits of straw.
“Heaven help me, Lils, your voice—even in screams, has to be descended from Odysseus’s sirens.”
Lily smiled into his chest. “I have taken a weary traveler and kept him captive?”
“Something akin to that.” His fingers clenched into her hair. “Tell me you do not regret this, Lils.” His voice was thick, rumbling from deep in his chest.
Without lifting her head, Lily looked up to him, her heart welling so hard it stole her breath. She managed a whisper. “No. Never.”
He kissed her forehead, his arm clamping hard around her body. “I give you everything I am, Lils.”
Grabbing her hand, he flattened it to his chest. “You are mine. You are already my wife here.” He brought her fingers to his forehead. “And here.”
Curling her fingers around his hand, he brought them to his lips, setting the softest kiss on them. “And in my soul. Never question this.”
Her heart clenching with wonder, with love, she smiled, meeting his gaze. “Never.”
{ Chapter 10 }
“I need to go to the abbey.”
Walking into the bedroom of the cottage, Lily found Brianna sitting on the bed, her knee touching her cheek as she laced her left boot.
Lily’s heart skipped a beat. Brianna was in one of the black dresses Garek had brought from Weadly Hall, the top of the back gaping with undone buttons.
Dressed—Brianna was actually dressed in proper clothes for the first time since she was attacked.
Lily moved around the bed to Brianna’s side, smoothing stray strands of her hair into the haphazard braid she had quickly weaved in the barn. The end of a piece of hay jabbed into her scalp. Hopefully, Garek had swept off all the hay from the back of her dress. Brianna had always been observant and would be sure to question it if any pieces of hay fell from Lily.
“The abbey, Bree? Why? Why now?”
Brianna looked up from the boot. “The memories are coming back of what happened there. But I need to see it. Need to see what is real and what I…what I may be imagining.”
“What have you remembered?”
Brianna’s mouth clamped shut, her head shaking. She went back to lacing her boot.
Stifling a sigh, Lily set her knee on the bed. Brianna was still refusing to tell her anything of what happened. She worked the black glass buttons up the back of Brianna’s wool dress. “Fine. We will go to the abbey. But are you positive you are not too tired?”
“I will be fine.”
Dress buttoned, Lily stepped away from the bed. “I will fetch the horse and curricle and bring it to the door so you do not have to walk far. Mr. Sneedly did not take them with him. But we will have to return them to Weadly Hall eventually.”
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