Claiming Colleen

by BETH KERY

  “You do?”

  “You must be torn up by this. Of course you’re not going to be shouting it out to every stranger who walks by. I imagine it’ll take a while for you and your family to sort all this out. But believe this,” he said firmly. “You have nothing, nothing to be ashamed of. You had as much control over your parents’ actions as I do.”

  “I know,” she said honestly. “But that’s how it is with family. You share the burden of the guilt. It’s hard to just let it go. It’s not that easy, especially when I see how their mistakes have affected people in the here and now…people like you, and Natalie and Deidre. How can an act of infidelity have such far-reaching consequences?”

  He leaned down and kissed her lips tenderly. “You aren’t the responsible one. You can’t control other people’s fates, Colleen. I understand that the truth can be sad, and that it can hurt, but it’s not in your power to change it.” She looked into his eyes and saw his compassion, but also just a hint of a challenge. “Remember how I said a while back that you and I are a lot alike?”

  She nodded.

  “I know it’s hard for you relinquish control in a situation like this, to admit that you can’t be the one to make everything better. That’s why you’re so good at your job, because you don’t give up on your patients. You keep fighting. Just like I do for mine. But sometimes, you have to be able to admit that you can’t control things. People we care about are going to get hurt, and they’re going to make mistakes. Sometimes people die, too,” he whispered hoarsely. “And you have to be able to let go, to admit you can’t play God and control their destiny.”

  She sobbed quietly. He was one hundred percent right. She was the nurturer of the family, the one who always smoothed things over and strove for harmony. At work, she hated admitting defeat with her patients and rarely did. Eric was right about something else. He really did understand her because they were similar in that way; they’d fought similar internal battles with accepting when things were beyond their control.

  He made a hushing sound and kissed the tears from her cheeks.

  “Will you do something for me?” he murmured.

  “Yes.”

  “Let go of it, Colleen. I know you can’t stop worrying about people. I know you can’t stop caring. But please…let go of the responsibility. Let go of the shame.” His face pinched slightly, as if he was pained. “I can’t stand to think of you holding on to it.”

  “I’ll try,” she said earnestly. “I will.”

  She leaned into him, suddenly needy for his heat. She sought out his mouth with her lips. While their mouths still clung in a kiss, he shifted her into his lap. A moment later, when he stood with her in his arms, they didn’t speak. There was no need to talk. Their gazes said it all.

  He carried her upstairs, laid her on his unmade bed and began to undress her. Colleen let him, even though she felt more naked and exposed than she ever had in her life.

  But more beautiful, as well, she admitted, taking in Eric’s gaze as it trailed down over her naked body.

  He stripped and came down next to her on the bed. He kissed her everywhere, sanctifying her with his touch, cleansing her with the fires of desire. When his head settled between her thighs, she accepted his most intimate kiss, opening herself to him. She felt vulnerable, but she felt whole, as well. His lips and tongue worshipped her with an avid, concise prayer. It stole her breath, the pleasure he brought her. She cried out as bliss flooded her, fierce and distilled.

  He swallowed her whimpers with his kiss, their essences mingling. His possession was forceful and total, leaving her in little doubt that he’d been suffering the tortures of his own need while he’d brought her such sweet pleasure. He whispered in her ear roughly as their passion peaked, and she felt herself once again hovering on the precipice of climax.

  “That’s right. Let go. Give yourself to me.”

  She’d been so afraid of fully exploring the boundaries of her passion, afraid of what it would be like to fall from the lofty heights of ecstasy to the dark abyss of loss and betrayal. But in that moment, Colleen took a chance. She let go and leaped.

  Eric was right there with her, holding her, fusing with her, a full partner, sharing in the sensual storm.

  Chapter Twelve

  The next morning the snowstorm had stopped. They worked together to clear Eric’s driveway. She’d talked to Marc, and he’d said to expect him and the kids at around two o’clock that afternoon.

  Her weekend with Eric had been electric and vivid. All of her senses were peaked and sharp, as though she’d undergone a sensual awakening. But as she walked out the front door with Eric, she suddenly felt as flat and gray as the early December sky. It was time to return to her work and routine. She had no idea what the future would look like for her and Eric.

  They went to Sultan’s for breakfast, and Colleen couldn’t help but be struck by the difference between this meal with Eric and their first at the restaurant a few weeks ago. They both sipped their coffee and shared the Sunday paper, their hands clasped on the tabletop. Every once in a while, she’d glance up and catch Eric watching her. What was he thinking as he studied her so soberly? She hated the fact that while they appeared to be the very image of a content, sensually connected couple, her doubtful thoughts and annoying questions about where the relationship was going started to harp at her again.

  An hour later, Eric pulled into her driveway. He was due at the hospital within the hour in order to carry out a monthly mandatory shift in the emergency room. Neither of them spoke as he put the SUV in Park.

  “Thank you,” she said quietly. “It was a wonderful weekend.”

  “You hardly need to thank me, when I enjoyed it so much.”

  Colleen cleared her throat. Was it her imagination, or had the silence just become awkward…charged? All her doubts flooded to the surface. She opened her mouth, unable to stop herself from voicing a question about how he felt about the relationship on a go-forward basis. He spoke before she could, however.

  “Colleen…you’ve been so honest with me over the weekend,” he began. “I’ve appreciated that. I feel like I owe you a truth in return.”

  Her heart fluttered in her chest. “What?” His seriousness had set an alarm bell going off in her head.

  “It’s just…” He paused and stared out the front window, seeming uncertain how to phrase his words. “When I operated on Brendan, and then when Liam and Natalie announced they were getting married, I realized there was a certain opportunity available to me that hadn’t been there before.”

  “Opportunity?”

  His flickering gaze bounced off her face. “Yeah. I told you earlier this week that I’ve always been attracted to you. But because of our history, you’d put a barrier the size of the Great Wall of China between us. It was damn near impossible for me to get anywhere near you. Every time I tried to…”

  “Get me into bed?” she finished for him numbly when he faded off. His dark-eyed gaze met hers.

  “I’m not going to deny that I always wanted you. Every time I tried to get near you though, you erected another layer on your wall. You blocked me at every turn.”

  “So you used my son and the wedding to get what you wanted,” she clarified. She couldn’t believe she sounded so calm.

  “Well…yeah, but I wasn’t dishonest about anything. I think I made it pretty clear how interested I was.”

  “So why the need to confess?”

  He blinked at her quiet question. Her heartbeat now roared in her ears.

  “You always came off as so strong…so…impenetrable, like nothing could get to you. After last night,” he said gruffly, “I realized that was an illusion, though. I realized how hard it must have been for you to start up with me when you had so many doubts about a relationship since Darin died…and because of your discovery about what happened with your mom’s infidelity. It made me feel guilty.”

  “Why?” Colleen breathed out, dreading his answer.

  “Because
when I started this thing, I considered it…I considered you…as sort of a…challenge,” he said abruptly. He averted his gaze when she just stared at him. “I’d always wanted you, and I never could think of a way to make it happen.”

  “A challenge,” she muttered through lips that had suddenly gone numb. Her hands and feet began to tingle uncomfortably. She couldn’t believe this was happening. She couldn’t believe he was saying these things when she’d taken such a risk in letting down her guard. “Oh my God,” she whispered.

  “What?” he asked, looking over at her sharply.

  “You called me a princess that day on Sunset Beach. You made it seem like you always considered me a…a…stuck-up witch. Is that the challenge you wanted?” she asked incredulously. “To put me in my place once and for all? Bed the bitch and show her who was really boss?”

  It was like the past few months had never occurred. They might have been standing alone on Sunset Beach all over again, Colleen vibrating with anger and angst over the fact that Eric Reyes had trumped her yet again. The silence rang in her ears. He looked stricken.

  “No! Of course not. Don’t jump to ridiculous conclusions.”

  “Ridiculous? You’re the one who just told me you maneuvered the circumstances…took advantage of me in order to get me into bed.”

  “I was trying to be honest and admit my intentions in the beginning. There’s nothing criminal about me wanting you, Colleen.”

  “You manipulated me,” she said in a low, shaking voice. Her whole body seemed to throb in pain. “You engineered all that stuff about us working together to convince Natalie and Liam they were being so impulsive and irrational about falling so fast for each other. The whole time you were probably sitting back and laughing over the fact that I was falling in love with you just as hard, just as rashly…just as stupidly.”

  His furious expression softened. “You were falling in love with me?”

  Her eyes went wide. She couldn’t believe she’d just said that. Talk about letting down her armor at the moment when the blows were raining down the hardest. Frustration overwhelmed her. It was so unfair, how he always managed to get under her skin…weaken her.

  “Don’t worry,” she grated out. “I’ve come to my senses. Thanks for helping me to see things again in such a rational light, Reyes.”

  “Colleen, wait,” he ordered, grabbing her hand, trying to halt her exit. “You’re completely misinterpreting what I’m trying to say. Let me finish, for God’s sake—”

  But she’d had enough. Enough of this hurt, enough of this risk…enough of her immense stupidity and naïveté for allowing herself to fall hopelessly in love with Eric Reyes.

  He’d done it all because she’d been a challenge. He’d dared himself to do the impossible…to melt the ice princess. Well, he’d succeeded.

  She shook off his hold, grabbed her bag and stumbled out of the SUV. The frigid outdoor air struck her face like a much-needed slap of reality.

  Three days later, Colleen found herself knocking on the front door of the most grand and elegant mansion she’d ever seen. Crisp, cool alpine air, tall, majestic pine trees and snow-capped High Sierra Mountains surrounded her. Her trip to Reno and then Lake Tahoe had started last night, when Deidre had called with the sad news that her newly found father, Lincoln DuBois, had died. Colleen had prepared with a plan for the circumstances. She had plenty of vacation time she could take at work. She’d told her sister she’d be in Lake Tahoe by the next afternoon.

  It had done her good to be able to focus on something and someone other than herself. She still felt rattled by what had happened with Eric over the weekend, wounded by the realization of how her life had changed in such a short period of time. She’d fallen in love without ever giving herself permission to do so, and it was perhaps that realization that had left her reeling most of all.

  The trip to be with Deidre gave her something solid to focus on; something tangible and worthwhile, unlike her misguided love affair with Eric.

  She’d been glad to have the kids home and to return to her normal schedule. Unfortunately, Eric had called her on the same evening he’d dropped her off. She hadn’t answered it, since it was impossible to ignore the anger, hurt and bewilderment she was feeling at what had occurred between them.

  The next day, she was again forced to face the music when Brendan reminded her on the way to school that they were all going to be working on Lucy that evening. Since Colleen had granted permission for it last week, she couldn’t easily back out on her promise without calling attention to the fact that her and Eric’s relationship had altered over the weekend. So instead of letting the kids down, she called her mother and left a message explaining she’d have to work late that evening. She’d added that her mother should check with Eric about the plans, just to make sure he was still interested in having them. She’d stayed late at The Family Center, working on paperwork, feeling lonely and heartsore the whole time.

  She’d continued to avoid Eric’s phone calls, but knew she’d have to face seeing him on Wednesday, when he came for his weekly volunteer hours at The Family Center. She’d been both relieved and disappointed that Lincoln DuBois’s death and her subsequent trip to Lake Tahoe had prevented her from ever seeing him at work.

  Now two thousand miles separated her and Eric. Before she could experience a stab of pain over that thought, the heavy front door swung open and she was staring at her sister standing in the opening, wearing jeans and a tight dark blue T-shirt.

  They say that you always admire what you don’t have when it comes to looks, and for Colleen that was especially true about how she felt about Deidre. Only their coloring was similar. Colleen was taller and more curvy than her sister. She’d always envied Deidre’s coltish long legs, slim hips and toned, shapely figure. Deidre looked even more slender than she’d been the last time Colleen had seen her in Chicago, on a mutual visit with Marc and Liam. Her recent anguish had seemed to hollow out her cheeks and make her exceptional bluish gray eyes look even larger and more striking than usual.

  They flew into each other’s arms.

  “Oh my God, I’m so happy to see you. You couldn’t have come at a better time. Better time for me that is,” Deidre said, leaning back and inspecting her sister. “I know it couldn’t have been easy for you to pick up and leave, given the kids and work…and Eric,” Deidre finished softly.

  Something about seeing Deidre after such a long absence and hearing her say Eric’s name caused emotion to swell in Colleen’s chest. She and Deidre had spoken frequently on the phone in the past week. Colleen had eventually broken down and spilled the story to Deidre’s sympathetic ear.

  She ruffled Deidre’s silky, glossy blond hair. The short style emphasized both Deidre’s strong, unique character and her delicate features to perfection. She didn’t wear a smudge of makeup. Deidre had been gifted with move-star-quality beauty, but as always, she seemed sublimely unaware of it. It’d been so hard to be separated from her sister by half the planet for so long. Colleen vowed then and there to do whatever she could to convince Deidre to come back to Michigan with her.

  “I wouldn’t be anyplace in the world right now but by your side,” Colleen assured, glancing around her. In the distance, she glimpsed a spectacular great room and enormous picture window overlooking a stunning view of a sapphire-blue Lake Tahoe. “You’d do the same for me in similar circumstances. A man can’t come between sisters.”

  She was glad to see the mischievous sparkle return to Deidre’s eyes. “Even a tall, dark, devilishly handsome doctor?”

  “Especially a dark, devilish doctor,” Colleen stated with more confidence than she felt.

  Deidre smiled and gave her another hug. “I’m so glad you’re here,” she whispered near Colleen’s ear. Colleen closed her eyes, sadness and worry filling her when she felt how desperately Deidre clung on to her…how much of her typically indomitable sister’s rib cage she could feel through the cotton of her T-shirt.

  “I can see the
first thing I need to do is cook you a decent meal,” Colleen told her when they broke apart, still holding hands.

  Deidre waved her hand dismissively. “Linc’s chef, Sasha, is terrific. My appetite has been off a bit since I came from Germany.”

  “Her appetite has been nonexistent,” someone said in a blunt tone.

  Colleen started when a tall man with chestnut-colored hair suddenly stepped into the foyer. He had a bold, handsome face and a powerful, rangy build. She noticed the way his gray-eyed, cool gaze landed on her sister’s face. Deidre’s back straightened, her chin went up and her eyes turned every bit as flinty as the man’s.

  “Nick Malone, I presume?” Colleen murmured wryly under her breath. Neither the man nor Deidre corrected her—just continued their staring duel—so Colleen knew she’d been right in her guess that the man was Lincoln DuBois’s right-hand man and CEO of DuBois Enterprises—not to mention the man who made it clear he was suspicious of Deidre’s motives in claiming to be Lincoln’s daughter. Malone was younger and a heck of a lot better looking than she’d expected, but Deidre’s haughty stance said loud and clear they were in the presence of the enemy.

  “That’s right,” Deidre said. “Nick, I’d like you to meet my sister Colleen. Colleen, Nick Malone. She’s come for the funeral.” Deidre gave Colleen a bland glance. “Knowing Nick, he thinks you came to help me steal the silver, so I just thought I’d clarify.”

  Colleen suppressed a snort of laughter, but Nick’s expression grew even harder at Deidre’s jibe. Despite his jeans and Western-style shirt, Malone reminded Colleen more of a soldier than a cowboy or executive.

  As usual, Deidre was fearless in the face of potential danger. She grabbed Colleen’s free hand and pulled.

  “Come on. We’d better get moving. Nick is likely to go into interrogation mode any second.”

  Colleen glanced at Nick bemusedly as they passed, but his gaze was glued to Deidre. Was that concern she saw on his face, mingling with annoyance? For some reason, the way he looked as he followed Deidre’s retreating figure reminded her of the way Eric glared at her sometimes when she was being stubborn.