“Cas was my cousin. She was a very sweet girl only a year older than you. Jocelyn and her mother, Lena, were sisters. You also have another half-sister named—”
“Lily, I know,” I say sternly.
“So you know that, too. Was that also a message from Cas?” I notice a condescending tone to his voice that sends me into a rage.
“You know who sent me the message.” I walk over to where he’s sitting. “Scott, I know that you believe in the supernatural just as much as Jocelyn. Roy Johnson told me how you believe his brief stint with death is causing him to see spiritual apparitions. He told me you came by asking questions and even lent him books on the topic. I know that you believe Cas has been sending me messages, too!”
“Elle, I never said I didn’t believe you.” For the first time he looks confused. “How did you meet Mr. Johnson?”
I look at him and smile. “I ran into his wife.” Before he can pry, I push forward. “What really happened to Cas? I know that she had her accident years before the transplant.”
Scott walks over to an upright piano in the corner of the room. He fishes through about twenty framed photos that adorn the top and pulls out a dark wooden frame from the back. “This is them,” he says, holding out the frame so I can see. “Lily and Cas.” I nod. “I guess you already know what they look like.” He grins.
“Scott, I saw Lily in person. I went to visit her foster family. She’s not doing well.” I fight back tears. I won’t let him see me cry.
“I know. I heard that she didn’t take the news about Cas very well.” I look into his eyes and see a hint of sadness. “How did you find her?”
“A dream. I had a dream,” I answer.
Scott’s mouth opens slightly and his eyes blink.
“My cousin Cas was really something,” he says at last. “That certainly is amazing.” He puts his head in his hands and messes his hair. I crane my neck to get a better look at his face. I’m suddenly annoyed with myself for still finding him attractive. I swipe my hands down my face and take a few steps back. I need to shake it off.“What happened to Cas?” I shrill.
“Elle, she was in a terrible car accident a few years ago. It killed her mother – my Aunt Lena, and left Cas in a coma. Lily was very lucky. Where she sat, she was able to escape with only a few scratches. Cas spent her first few months in a hospital and Lily was placed in foster care.”
“Why didn’t either you or Jocelyn take Lily?” I raise my voice a few decibels.
“Elle, I’m a very busy man. I have no business raising a child and Jocelyn, well, Jocelyn could barely raise me.”
“Scott, I know that you treated Cas, here on your property!”
“Elle, Cas was just rotting away in that hospital bed. I knew that if I could get her to a place where I didn’t have to answer to anyone, a place where it would be safe to use experimental drugs – I might have been able to save her life or at least…”
“Have enough time to figure out how she was able to do the things she could”.
“Cas was an exceptional young girl. Her abilities were unlike anything we’ve ever seen before.”
“We’ve?” I question. “Do you mean Jocelyn?” I step closer to him.
“Yes. We couldn’t let her just die without learning more. Through my research, I was able to discover strains in her DNA unlike anything I’ve ever seen before.”
“Scott, would you have been able to bring her back?” I ask ignoring everything he said.
“There was a very small chance,” he whispers.
“Did she die on her own that night? The night I was brought into emergency?” I feel nauseous and although I am afraid to hear his answer, I know that I have to press on.
Scott takes a deep breath and hesitates before speaking. “I’m afraid she didn’t die on her own.”
“Scott, what happened? Did you take her off life support to save me?”
“No, I did!” I hear Jocelyn’s voice from the top of the stairs.
Chapter Twenty
“Mother, go back upstairs,” Scott shouts.
Pale and disheveled, Jocelyn looks like she’s forgotten to apply her make-up. Her red hair is matted like she has just wakened from a nap. I watch as she slowly descends the stairs. “Jocelyn, what did you do to Cas?” I ask through gritted teeth.
“I took her off life support.” She takes a few steps closer to where I stand. “I gave her a chance to live, but without the machines she… she just couldn’t do it.” Jocelyn furrows her brow and pouts her bottom lip, reminding me of a child. “Elle, I loved Cas. She was extraordinary.” She holds out her arms and reaches for my hands, but I rip them away.
“Between you and Scott, all you’ve said was how amazing her abilities were. What about her? She was a young girl, not some freak for you to study!” My pulse beats faster, my face burns and my stomach churns, causing me to feel like I’m about to be sick. Normally, this is my cue that I need to calm down. Instead, I glare at Jocelyn. My eyes narrow, daring her to speak.
“It wasn’t like th-that at all, Elle,” Jocelyn stutters. I see she plays the victim well. “When Scott phoned and told me that you collapsed, I knew what I had to do.” I turn to find Scott standing in a corner of the living room like a frightened dog. “From the moment I first met you, I knew that you were the one who could keep Cas alive.” Jocelyn’s eyes water and she closes her lids tightly; I suspect she’s trying to squeeze out a few tears.
“I don’t think it was me that you wanted to keep alive,” I accuse. “I think it was Cas’s abilities that you were worried about losing.” I circle Jocelyn like a shark. “And when you realized there was little hope of bringing her back, I was your only chance.” My voice rises to a shout. “Jocelyn, you murdered Cas!”
A hush canvases the room. Scott glares at me and shakes his head.
“Elle, I think that’s enough. Mother, I’ll get you something to help you calm down.” Scott walks over to Jocelyn and ushers her toward the stairs. I stand and watch as Scott coddles her like a small child, helping her step from stair to stair. They soon disappear into the shadows of the upstairs hall.
I feel a nudge in my back. “Follow them.” It’s Cas’s voice.
From the top of the stairs, I can see into the bedroom. Scott pours a glass of water from a carafe beside Jocelyn’s bed. He opens a prescription bottle and hands Jocelyn some pills. I’m in a state of shock as she pops them into her mouth. Although I saw the pills in her room, I could never imagine her taking them. A part of me thought there had to be some logical explanation for her name being on the bottle. Jocelyn didn’t seem like the type of person who would ever take anything other than holistic medication, like seaweed and ginger.
“Elle?” Scott turns and looks at me, his eyes slightly widened. Jocelyn walks toward me, flattening her hair with the palm of her hands and swaying her hips as she walks. She is making a valiant attempt to compose herself.
“Elle, honey, I thought you were downstairs,” she says softly.
“Jocelyn, I just want some answers. I simply can’t understand how you think it’s okay for you to play God?”
“Elle, if it weren’t for me playing God, you would be dead right now!” Jocelyn’s voice takes a sinister tone. She steps closer to me, placing her hand on my shoulders. “Don’t forget I have my own abilities. I knew you would be coming here today. I promised Scott I wouldn’t say anything, but I couldn’t help myself. I know he’ll forgive me. He always does.” She presses her lips to my ear. “I have that son of mine trained rather well,” she whispers. I shake my head, completely baffled.“I’ve suspected for a while now that Cas has been coming to you from the other side.” Jocelyn pauses to look at me, her head slightly tilted. Although it’s difficult, I manage to keep my emotion in check. “You see, Elle, you are her gateway to enter back into our world.” I squint my eyes, trying to make sense of the words. Although her voice is cool, I sense an animosity. “Cas is manipulating you like a puppet.” Jocelyn takes another step cl
oser to me. “Elle, what’s wrong? You look tense. Would you like to go down to my studio and do some stretches?” Her tone is completely condescending. “I wouldn’t want any unnecessary stress to strain your heart.” She puts her hand to her mouth. “Oops! I meant to say ‘Cas’s heart.’”
“You’re crazy,” I whisper. Scott steps into the hallway and touches Jocelyn’s shoulder.
“Mother, that is enough! We owe Elle an apology. There have been too many secrets.”
“An apology?” Jocelyn yells. “Elle should be thanking us. Not only did we save her life, but we gave her a great gift!”
“A gift that I’m sure you wish I didn’t have!” I take one step closer. “This whole thing backfired, didn’t it? I bet you never thought Cas would be able to give away all your dirty little secrets. You completely underestimated her.”I take another step closer to Jocelyn, until our noses barely touch.
“You are a very ungrateful young woman,” Jocelyn sputters. I wipe her saliva from the side of my cheek.
“I didn’t ask for you to kill her and I certainly didn’t ask to be like you!”
Jocelyn’s eyes narrow and, before I have a chance to react, I feel her hand push into my shoulder. I lose my balance and wobble like I’m on skates. In a desperate attempt to regain my balance, I grab the wall. Scott races over, knocking Jocelyn to the ground, and reaches for my arm. His fingertips graze my sleeve as my heels teeter on the edge of the top stair. I fall back. My arms outstretched behind me. I feel around for something to grab hold of but there’s nothing. My mind races and in the millisecond I have to think, a sense of complete panic crashes over me. Convinced I will hit my head and die, I close my eyes and brace for the fall, but my back hits something hard and I stop. I feel someone’s arms wrap around my back. Time seems to stand still and it is as though I am reclining in midair. After a few seconds, I reach for the banister and pull myself up. I stand on the top stair and try to catch my breath.
Jocelyn squats down in front of me. “Elle, I didn’t mean for you to fall,” she cries. She reaches for my elbow, but I shudder and pull away. Jocelyn loses her balance and falls forward holding out her hands, her fingers opened wide. She tumbles down the rest of the long, wooden staircase face first.
Scott yells and runs down the stairs behind her.
“Mother!”
I put my head in my hands and close my eyes tightly. When I open them again, I see Scott at the foot of the staircase, holding Jocelyn’s head in his hands. I stand, staring at the two of them. Scott pulls his cell phone from his pocket and dials. “This is Doctor Scott Carmichael. I need an ambulance. There’s been an accident.”
He takes Jocelyn’s pulse.
“Elle?” he calls up to me. I shake my head, trying to snap myself out of a daze. I run down the steps and squat down beside Jocelyn.
“Is she…?”
“No, she is just unconscious.” Scott scans her body with his eyes and gently bends her arms, wrists and legs.
“Should we move her to the couch?” I’m not sure what else we should do.
“We shouldn’t move her – not until the paramedics arrive.” Scott’s face is red and there are beads of sweat on his forehead. He walks into the living room and grabs some throw pillows from the couch, and then gently places them under Jocelyn’s head. “I need some ice.” He exits the room once more.
“Scott, I’m so sorry about this,” I call out.“When she reached for me, I thought… I thought she was going to try and pull me down.” Scott ignores me for a moment and places a bag of frozen peas to a lump on the side of Jocelyn’s head.
“Elle, I don’t blame you for anything. This wasn’t your fault. My mother is not well. She suffers from schizophrenia.” I nod.
“You knew?” Scott asks.
“I saw the medication in her bedroom.”
Scott brushes strands of red hair from Jocelyn’s closed eyes. “This is not at all how my mother planned. In her warped reality, she thought you would replace Cas.”
“Except Cas never really left us,” I say softly.
“Elle, I would never tell you what to do. But if you go to the police about any of this, they will put my mother in jail.” He looks at me and I can see his eyes fill with tears. “She won’t be able to get the treatment she needs. Please, I want to take her to a facility in California.”
I look at Scott for a moment, unsure of what to do. My eyes are suddenly drawn behind him, where I see the apparition of a girl. Cas. Of course – she was the one who kept me from falling. She looks like I’d expect her to, slightly older than the girl in the photo. She is lovely, surrounded by white light like I’d imagine an angel to be. Her skin glistens slightly and I can see through to the hallway behind her – she is transparent, a ghost. My jaw drops. I’m in a state of shock, yet I’m so glad that I can see her as she really is. She walks closer to Scott and nods her head in approval.
“I agree, Scott. I think your mother should receive the help she needs. If that means taking her to California, then that’s what you need to do.” I look over at Cas and smile.
“You know, Elle, as much time as I’ve devoted to studying life and death, it never ceases to amaze me when miracles happen,” he says softly. “You’re certainly a miracle.” Even though he is smiling, I can see sadness in his eyes.
“Scott, I want you to know that I don’t blame you. You are a great doctor and I know you had good intentions when it came to Cas.”
“Thank you, Elle.”
Sirens blare in the distance.
“It sounds like the ambulance is here. Scott, I hope Jocelyn gets the help she needs. I really do.” I pull open the front door.
“Elle?” Scott calls. “Do you think you could do me a favor?”
“What?” I ask.
“I’m going to have to stay in California for a while with Jocelyn, and I’ll need someone to help take care of Elita. I’ll still have some hired hands feeding her and cleaning the stables, but she really needs someone to give her a workout. Would you be interested in coming by and riding her? I can have some of my people give you a few lessons ’til you get the hang of it. What do you think?”
“I’d like that,” I say with a smile. I give a backhanded wave and step outside where I can see, from a distance, an ambulance approach the house. I step inside the car and watch Scott on the porch directing the EMTs. Before I pull away, I take a moment to look at the house. Amidst all the chaos, there is still something so serene about it.
***
The next day, I visit Lily again. I asked Rob to come with my mom and me. After all we’d been through together, it just wouldn’t feel right to meet Lily without him there.
Mrs. King escorts us to Lily’s room. When Kate peeks inside and sees Lily for the first time, she cries, “My God, Elle, she looks so much like you!”
“I know,” I say, peeking my head inside the door. Cas is still with me – I can feel her urging me forward.
“Do you want me to come in with you?” Kate asks. I shake my head. Rob waits with Kate; they both stand watching at the door.
I pull up a chair and sit down beside Lily. She is staring out the bedroom window and doesn’t turn to look at me. “Hi Lily, my name is Elle.” After a few seconds, she turns her head to look at me, but quickly turns away. “I like your dress,” I say.
I wait a couple of minutes and watch as she stares out the window. I notice how small her hands are and how chubby her cheeks. Someone so young doesn’t deserve so much pain, I think. I take a deep breath.
“Lily, I know you’re sad about your sister, Cas, but you don’t have to be.” I swallow and wonder for a moment how much I should divulge to a child. Something tells me that she’s no stranger to the paranormal.
“Lily, I have something I want to tell you.” I clear my throat. “Cas wasn’t your only sister.” Lily’s neck pops as she snaps her face toward me. “I’m your sister. You and Cas are both my sisters. We had the same Daddy. Glenn was my father, too. So you see, you can
trust me.” I look deep into Lily’s weepy eyes and fight back tears. My eyebrows furrow as I wonder what she’s thinking. I exhale loudly, thinking about what I could possibly say next.
“Cas died,” Lily says solemnly. When I hear her speak, I don’t know whether to smile or cry. I think I manage a mixture, a slush of emotion.
“Do you want to talk about it?” It is something I think an adult might say. She nods her head.
“Do you want to know a secret?” she whispers.
“Of course. What’s the secret?” I bite my lip nervously.
“Cas’s heart is still alive.” There’s almost an excitement to her voice.
I gasp. “How do you know that?” I ask.
“I heard the grown-ups talking. There is another girl with her heart.”
“Lily, I’m that girl,” I say through tears. “I have Cas’s heart. Our sister’s heart.”
Lily looks at me with an open mouth. She takes her hand and slowly puts it to my chest.
“I can feel it beat.” Her eyes fill with tears.
“I was sick, but her heart has made me better. It’s the perfect match for me because we’re family. Lily, we’ll always be family.” I sniff. Lily opens her arms and reaches for me. I pull her up onto my lap and hug her tightly. When I turn back, I see Rob and my mother watching.
For the first time since I awoke from surgery, it feels as though a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. The air feels thinner and slightly warmer, too. An image of red roses comes vividly to my mind – in an instant I know that it’s Cas, sending her love.
She’s finally found peace.
“Would you like to spend the day with me today?” I ask.
Lily nods and smiles widely. I know that she still has a lot of grief ahead of her, but at least now she’s talking. At least now she’s hoping.
“I’m going to get your shoes and jacket.” I tap her hand. “I will be right back.”
The Divine Heart Page 17