by Holt, S. w.
As I reach for the door handle to the adjoining guest room, I suddenly am overcome with a heavy sense of foreboding. Taking a deep breath, I ignore my gut and casually open the door.
I'm completely unprepared for the scene before me. Instead of finding two hungover people passed out on my guest bed, there's my husband laying on his back with Amelia riding him in the reverse cowgirl position. Obviously enjoying herself with her head thrown back, eyes shut and her mouth slightly open with moans of pleasure escaping. Marcus's hands are around her waist guiding her as she moves up and down with her perky breasts bobbing along with the rhythm. As odd as it seems, I feel like I'm intruding. I start to back up to leave the room, as I am doing so, I hear Marcus moan, “Damn it Meli, you feel so good. Grind on me more!” He grunts deeply.
She responds by increasing her movement and moaning again...louder. I find I am cemented to my spot unable to move. I'm simply standing in the doorway like an idiot, watching my best friend screw my husband and to think I completely encouraged this. No, I planned it. From what I saw, he's not just enjoying himself, he is completely immersed, and for that matter, so is she. I guess I never thought either one of them would be so into it. Maybe mores the point that I was a fool to think otherwise.
I find that once again, I'm strangely turned on which makes me ashamed. The truth is, I want to keep watching though I know I shouldn’t. The harsh reality is that regardless of whether I watch or not, I will never be able to get the image of Amelia riding my husband out of my head for the rest of my life. No matter how sexy it may appear.
I finally pull my eyes away and let the lovers finish their romp and head back into the room where Ryan is no longer asleep. As I quietly pull the door behind me, the shrill screams of pleasure commence.
Ryan looks at me with a deadpan gaze coupled with a slight smirk, “I guess Marcus is getting a banging wake up call.” He laughs, “Lucky.” Wiggling his eyes at me, “Hey these bed posts could prove to come in real handy, maybe next time we do this we can utilize them!”
“I doubt there will be a next time Ryan.” I roll my eyes as I walk over to the sitting area to retrieve my dress from the settee. “If you'd like to take a shower, the bathroom is through the door there.”
“So are you saying last night wasn’t good enough for an encore?”
“No, I'm not saying last night wasn’t good, but it was for Marcus's birthday, nothing more.”
“What if he wants more? Don’t you think after getting to bang Meli that the taste for feeling another woman is going to be insatiable? It was for me and frankly, Meli likes the freedom of knowing that we can enjoy other people, but we go home with each other. You know what else? He's already proving my theory correct considering he's in there fucking Meli...not you.”
I feel sickened, wondering if he's right and that Marcus is going to want more, much more. As evidenced this morning, he clearly does. Instantly, I shake myself of those thoughts.
“Ouch Ryan, that really stings.” With his words wounding me, in turn I shoot him a dirty look. “I will admit that last night was fun, great even. But it was his birthday wish, nothing more. When I asked him what he wanted for his birthday this year, he said his singular request was a foursome. That was the only reason last night happened...well and this morning.” I sigh to myself.
He shrugs then hops out of bed still naked he walks straight over to me. “You go ahead and believe what you want but I am a man and I know that once you have tasted the forbidden fruit, you want more. Besides, I've known Marcus for an extremely long time, I can guarantee that his singular wish will now become his obsession.”
Before I respond, he starts to walk past me toward the bathroom and just before he reaches the door, I hear Marcus shouting obscenities followed by a deep guttural growl. I know damn well why he's making the sounds so I don’t look at Ryan, I avoid his gaze because I know it will give him an immense amount of satisfaction to be proven right.
Ryan clicks his tongue, “I'll go ahead and take my shower now but please just think about what I said. Don’t be a fool, after what we are hearing this morning, I believe you just might have opened his Pandora’s Box.”
Infuriated I whip around, “Then what does that mean for you if Marcus wants to bang your fiancée again?” I pause, “From the sounds of things, again and again.”
He shrugs again, “I told you that as long as she comes back to me I'm good. Well, and I want action too, of course.” He chuckles then slightly tilts his head as if he's studying me, “When Meli told me your plan, I asked her if you knew what you were getting into. She said of course you did, but I wonder.” He pauses as if he's in thought, “And for the record, she hasn't agreed to marry me yet, or have you forgotten?” He says in a snippy tone.
With that he shuts the bathroom door behind him leaving me standing by the settee still holding my red dress clutched to my chest. I decide I should get my shower out of the way too. As I head out of the guest room and start down the hall toward the stairs, I hear Amelia's shrieks again. Now that I'm sober, it actually sounds like a cat in heat that is howling at the full moon. Or more accurately, like fingernails on a chalkboard.
As annoyed as I am, I can't help but feel tormented knowing my husband is just in the other room rocking out another woman's world. I'm turned on in a sick and twisted way but then of course I feel jealousy and rage. It's not right. I stop in the middle of the hall outside my room. I debate if I should barge back into that room of ill-repute and pull the plug on the non-stop sex fest my husband has overindulged in for the last eight hours. With my tail between my legs, I head straight for my shower. I need to pull myself together before I deal with the aftermath of a night of debauchery of which I am no innocent party.
Truth be told, I thoroughly enjoyed having sex with Ryan, but the empty feeling afterward is more than I can bear. I wonder if the regret I feel now will manifest into something far more insurmountable. I can only hope the answer to that is time will relieve me of my disgrace.
The avalanche of emotions and shame cannot be washed away by the hot shower; stupidly, I thought taking a shower would make me feel better. But alone in my thoughts is not a safe place to be especially since my husband shut me out with my best friend and seemingly hasn’t come up for air.
As I finish drying my hair, I flip my head up and about jump out of my own skin as I see my husband's reflection in the mirror. He is standing behind me looking like he has been through the proverbial ringer. My mouth drops as I have never seen him look like such a wreck.
I turn off the dryer and slowly turn around to face Marcus.
Chapter Four
“Well, look who decided to come up for air.” I snap.
Running his hand through his tousled hair, he smiles and says, “Let me take a shower and then I'll be ready to go with you to pick up Charlie.”
I'm surprised he doesn’t have any comeback nor does he appear to want to engage any word exchange with me.
“Ok, where are our guests?”
He spits out his toothpaste and after swishing out his mouth with water he casually turns around, heading for the shower. He says over his shoulder, “They went home.”
Relieved, I look up from applying lotion just as he is entering the shower and I let out a loud gasp.
“What the hell happened to your back?” I holler.
“What do you mean?” He says as he backs out of the shower. Turning his head to look over his shoulder, he examines his reflection then he laughs.
“Wow, I guess that's from last night. Surprisingly, Amelia is really a banshee in bed. She must have been clawing the hell out of me and I didn’t even realize it.” He chuckles again.
I feel like I just might expel shots of steam from both of my ears. My pressure valve about to combust, I exercise every ounce of restraint that I can muster, “You look like you tangled with barb wire or a hell cat. Did you forget we promised Charlie that we'd take him to the indoor water park tomorrow afternoon?”
&nbs
p; “No, I haven’t forgotten, it'll be okay. Don’t worry.” He says while tweaking me on my nose.
Then he heads back to the shower, ignoring the fact that we haven’t finished our conversation. As I watch him in the shower, the welts on his back are actually raised probably from the warm water. How will we ever explain that to Charlie? It looks like Marcus will have to wear a swim shirt to the water park. No way can he be seen in public like that. Once again I wonder if I have made a colossal mistake.
Several days later I'm sitting in the family room waiting for Marcus to come down after tucking Charlie into bed. Pouring us each a glass of dark and rich Bordeaux, I snuggle into the oversized chair by the fireplace, feeling so contented and at peace. Sipping at the wine watching the flames dance behind the glass, I hardly notice Marcus standing right behind me. I about spring out of my seat when I feel something cold and sort of slithery against my chest. Wrapping my fingers around the cold metal, I hold in front of me a necklace with a heart shaped diamond and sapphire encrusted pendant.
“What's this for?” I squeak feeling thoroughly surprised and a little wary.
“I just want to show you my appreciation. I don’t think I tell you often enough just how much I love you and admire you for your ability to put up with me while continually being the embodiment of grace. Also, I guess I owe you an apology for being so absorbed in my work lately.”
“You really didn’t have to buy me an expensive necklace to tell me all of that but thank you. I love you too.”
He leans down and kisses me tenderly, then after placing the necklace around my neck, he sits in the stuffed chair opposite me on the other side of the fireplace.
I speak first, “As for your work, I guess you are always engrossed, but I suppose your dedication to your craft is what has made you the success that you are. You wouldn’t be where you are if only clocked in from nine to five now would you?”
He chuckles softly, looking devastatingly handsome in the dim lighting. “Right you are as sad as that is, I do have to put in the long hours in order to afford all of this. But you and Charlie are worth every extra hour spent.”
Finishing the rest of my wine, I get up to retrieve the bottle stopping off to grab his glass to refill it, he grabs me by the wrist pulling me down to him. We kiss passionately and I feel the depths of my love for this man in each and every ounce of my soul. I drop my glass on the floor as he yanks me onto his lap. The kiss developing very quickly into his carrying me over to the sofa, removing my clothing and his, then making love to me by the firelight.
Afterward, we lay intertwined on the couch listening to nothing but the breeze blowing outside and the beating of our hearts, in sync with one another. He interrupts the blissful quiet of our afterglow.
“So, I was uh...I was thinking about my birthday party today.”
I feel myself stiffen, “Yeah?” I say hesitantly.
“Yeah, we never did talk too much about it afterward. I think that's partly due to you being uncomfortable with the whole thing. Am I right?”
I lightly snort, “Of course I wasn’t comfortable with it...”
“But you went through with it anyway...for me.” He says tenderly.
“Well yes. You know the reason why.”
He nods, “I do know why and you can't always do things for me because you made a vow when you were only a kid that you were going to try everything at least once. I mean, don’t get me wrong, that was one of the most incredible nights I've ever had, but you've been distant since then.”
I feel the hairs on the back of my neck standing up, “So it was one of the most incredible nights huh. Wow, and it was virtually without me.”
He sits up, “No, you were there.” I shoot him a stern look, “Okay well you were there for part of it. I was so damned turned on knowing you were just on the other side of the door with another man and you were allowing me to be with another woman.”
Shooting him a look, “I seriously don’t want this to turn into an argument. I just thought we would all be in the same room together so it really threw me for a loop when you disappeared into the adjoining room. I felt left out.”
He reaches over to me and caresses my cheek, “I never meant for you to feel left out. I guess I was so caught in the moment. Admittedly I was sort of in shock that you arranged it and were on board. You have to admit that when I told you what I wanted for my birthday gift you brushed me off, not appearing to have taken me seriously. Never in a lifetime would I suspect you'd actually give that to me. So in order to take full advantage of the gift, I'll admit that I went a little crazy. ”
I snicker, “A little? Just how many times did you screw her anyway? At least five that I know about.” I say trying not to sound as annoyed as I'm feeling right now.
He scrunches his handsome face, “Look, I know you too well, you are definitely not comfortable with any of this. Frankly I'm still shocked that it even happened and the fact that you participated is even more surprising.”
“Spoken like a true attorney, you utterly avoided my question.”
“Is that a question that you really want me to answer? Because judging by the look on your face, you would rather not be having this conversation and honestly I don’t feel the need to continue it any further either.”
“You are correct, I'm not overly thrilled with the conversation but isn’t it true that you have to be uncomfortable at times in order to grow? I figure once you get it out of your system, we can move on.”
I notice as he shifts in his seat his face clouds over. He appears to shake it off. “Or, we could try it again.” I start to rapidly shake my head, “Before you say no, think about it. Now that we've broached the subject, we should explore it some more. I know you said that you only did it for me but can you honestly tell me that you don’t want to do that again?”
“Correct, I don’t want to do it again. It was fun that one time and that's it. I thought we hashed this out Sunday night after Charlie went to bed? You told me that you wouldn’t push me for more. Yet now we are talking about it again.”
He looks away and breathes deeply. I reach over and grab his hand, “What is it?”
Shaking his head then looking me straight in the eyes, “I don't deserve you Delaney. You are so good like a ray of light and then there's me, the complete opposite.” He sighs, “A dark storm cloud. You knew my weaknesses, but you married me anyway. I should be grateful for the enormous gift you gave me but instead, I want more.”
With his last sentence came a deep sense of foreboding. A feeling that I am growing accustomed. A pesky little chill that started early on in the conversation is now sending goosebumps all over my body causing the hair on my arms to stand at attention.
“What are you getting at? You want more what? Sex? Or are you saying you want more foursomes?”
Looking away he replies in a hushed tone, “Yes...well no. Actually, I don't know how to tell you what I want exactly. I just can't get the other night out of my mind...or out of my system. It's virtually all I can think about.”
“Okay...” I say slowly, gulping for air, “I thought this was a one-time deal. Now you tell me you want more.”
He looks straight at me with a furrow of his brow, “What did you expect? Of course I want more. If you actually gave it as much consideration as I imagine you did before making your mind up to go through with it, evidently you played out the possible scenarios of how it would conclude?”
I'm now standing, quickly putting my clothes back on.
“Of course I did but honestly I thought you would have been a man of his word and that you would have taken the experience for what it was, a one-time gift. Oh, and maybe throwing in a little more gratitude would be a good measure as well.”
“Laney! Of course, I'm a man of my word, but I can't help my urges and fantasies as sordid as you find them.”
“So all men have urges and fantasies, what makes you any different?”
“I never said I’m any different, I just have
new wants and needs. Ones that most find a bit unconventional.”
Feeling alarmed, I realize maybe I don’t know what he’s talking about any more. “What exactly is it that you want Marcus?”
He looks away appearing to be engrossed by something on the wall. When he looks back at me and locks eyes, one single frigid chill travels down my back.
“I want...” He pauses, “I just want to have sex with Amelia again.” As soon as the words leave his lips and register in my mind, I start to get up while shaking my head. He continues, “Let me get it out of my system. Maybe we could have them over again but this time we can all be in the same room like you wanted? Think of it as a do-over.”