by Davis Ashura
“I’m ending my engagement to Disbar,” Jessira said to Sign as the two women sat next to one another
Sign shot her a glance of shock and worry. This was unexpected. Before Jessira had gotten caught up in the lives of Kummas and Ashoka, she had been the sensible one; the one who knew her place in the world and wanted nothing more. She was changed now. Of course, some of it was bound to happen. After everything she had been through, there were certain to be changes to how she approached things, how she saw the world. But this…this was entirely different. If Jessira went through with her decision, it would impact her for the rest of her life. And probably not for the better.
Sign waited on her cousin to continue.
Jessira stared into the fire. “Disbar is…I don’t want to speak poorly of him, but he and I aren’t good for one another. We’re neither of us who the other person is looking for in a spouse.”
“When did you figure this out?” Sign asked.
Jessira shrugged. “It’s not like I had a sudden revelation,” she explained. “It’s something I’ve slowly come to realize.” She shrugged again. “And our last conversation only cemented what I’d been worrying about since I came home.”
Sign nodded her head. “I think I know what you mean,” she said. “He’s as tightly wound as a rooster in a room full of foxes.”
Jessira chuckled. “He’s certainly that,” she agreed. “But if that were his only flaw, I could probably overlook it. It’s everything else. He’s just so full of himself. He thinks he knows everything. And Devesh help the person who contradicts him.” Jessira rolled her eyes. “I think his mind stops working when that happens, especially if I do it. In his perfect world, I think he would be happiest if I never had an opinion outside of his own.”
Sign chuckled. “I thought you didn’t want to speak poorly about him?”
“I’m not. Believe me. I could say far worse,” Jessira said with a chuckle.
Sign laughed. “Well then don’t hold back,” she advised. “But I wouldn’t say any of this when it comes time to confront him. He’d likely lose his mind if you did.”
“He’ll lose it anyway,” Jessira said. “You know how he is.”
Sign nodded. “Stubborn, prickly, and self-absorbed.”
“Exactly.”
Sign eyed Jessira with concern. “Still. Even with all that, you did promise to marry him. If you break your oath, you know how much you’ll suffer for doing so. Your reputation could be ruined if you don’t have a better reason than ‘I don’t like him’. A promise is important. For years, people have married those they didn’t like for just that reason alone.”
Jessira hugged her knees. “I know, but I can’t go through with it.” She shook her head. “You don’t understand. He has me followed. He thinks he can tell me who I can be friends with. What I can think. When I can speak. I’ll never be meek enough for him, and he’ll never be strong enough for me.”
Sign startled. Her opinion of Disbar, slowly sinking over the months since she’d gotten to really know him, sunk even lower. “He really does that?” she asked. “Has you followed? How?”
“His cousins,” Jessira responded.
Sign considered the situation from her cousin’s perspective. To be trapped in marriage to a man like Disbar Merdant. She shuddered. Jessira would be miserable. And she deserved so much better.
“What will you do when he tries to ruin you?” she asked. “And you know he will.”
Jessira shrugged. “I’ll defend myself, but I also won’t hide away in shame. I’ll fight if it’s a fight he wants.” She shrugged again. “I’m not worried about myself as much as I am about the rest of the family. And I hate to think what Amma and Nanna are going to say.”
Sign gave Jessira a look of sympathy. “I’ll always support you,” she said.
Jessira leaned against Sign. “I appreciate that,” she said. “I think I’ll be needing all the support I can get.”
Rukh waited his turn to hug his cousin. The small party—Rukh, Farn, Cedar, Court, and Laya—stood just outside East Gate. The newly risen sun heralded the new day, bathing the sky in a rosy hue; but down low, the valley remained cloaked in shadows by Mount Fort’s hulking presence. Rukh shuffled about, his movements crunching ground that was hard with hoarfrost and winter’s bite. At least there were no clouds in the air, and no scent of snow or rain on the wind.
Farn was leaving Stronghold, and Rukh’s stomach knotted with tension. He was worried, and if he was honest, even envious. Farn was going home, returning to family and friends, and Rukh wished he could go with him. Instead, he had to remain trapped in a city full of conceited hypocrites. Another attack had occurred the other day, this time by five warriors. After Rukh had reported it, no one had believed him. Perhaps it was because he was unmarked and uninjured and from what he had claimed, it should have been stiff odds. Just as likely, it was because he was a Pureblood.
Whatever the reason, the more important issue was that justice had been denied him yet again, just as it had been with the first two assaults. It couldn’t go on. Another attack might find Rukh badly injured—or worse. In either case, the message was clear: Rukh wasn’t safe in Stronghold. He had to leave.
But he wouldn’t be telling Farn of his decision. His cousin had enough to worry about. Farn was well-equipped for his journey back to Ashoka, but there were still many dangers that could happen to someone traveling alone: Chims, injury, weather, bad luck. He didn’t also need to be worrying about Rukh.
Laya finished saying her goodbye and stepped back. It was Court and Cedar’s turn.
“Travel safe and travel swift,” Court said, offering a traditional Stronghold farewell given by their scouts.
Farn pulled him into an embrace. “Thank you for everything,” he said. “You’re a good man, Court Deep.”
“As are you,” Court said. “Maybe in the next world, you can show me the wonders of Ashoka.”
“Nothing would make me happier,” Farn said, his eyes shiny.
Court gave him a final squeeze before letting Cedar take his place.
“Take care of yourself and try not to hit your head,” Cedar said. “It may be as hard as a stone, but I won’t be around to take care of you next time.”
“I’ll make sure not to,” Farn said, still smiling. He sobered a moment later. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I wouldn’t be alive if not for you.”
“You’ve already thanked me plenty,” Cedar protested.
“Then one more time won’t hurt. You’re a good man Cedar Grey. I’ll never forget what you did for me.”
Cedar nodded. “Travel safe and travel swift,” he added before stepping back.
Now it was Rukh’s turn.
“Tell my family I love them,” Rukh whispered, hugging his cousin one last time as tears slid down his face.
“They know,” Farn whispered back, tears rolling down his cheeks as well. “I’ll tell them anyway.” He turned away and led his loaded packhorse north toward the Gaunt River and from there, home.
Rukh prayed as he never had before, hoping Devesh would answer his call. He watched until his cousin was a small dot in the distance, remaining in place even after Farn crested a small rise and dipped down the other side, disappearing from view.
Jessira turned in her wooden tray to a warrior working the sinks of the East Lock cafeteria. The long, narrow room was lit by ten immense wagon-wheel chandeliers and housed rows of tables on either side of a single center aisle. Right now, the space was loud with the din of hundreds of warriors seeking their lunch and the laborers working to serve them. The thick granite pavers making up the floor and the whitewashed stone walls did little to diffuse the sound. Overlooking all of this cacophony was a mural of a smiling Babylin Suresong from his pride of place at the room’s entrance.
“Jessira! Over here,” a voice shouted over the tumult.
Jessira searched for whoever had called. The cafeteria’s clamor made it hard to localize any single voice
, but a waving hand caught her attention.
Sign. “Where are you headed?” her cousin asked, falling into step next to her.
“Home,” Jessira answered. “You?”
“Same,” Sign said. “Captain Flare sure took a long time with your debriefing,” she observed.
Jessira grimaced. She’d noticed the same thing. It should have been a routine debriefing of a routine assignment in the Wildness, but instead, it had turned into an interrogation. It was unwarranted, but then again, the captain was a jackhole. She just couldn’t say so. He was her commanding officer, after all. She decided to put the best face forward that she could. “Maybe it’s because this was the first mission I’ve had in months,” she said.
“It still seemed a bit much,” Sign said. “You want to work off some of that frustration?”
“What do you have in mind?” Jessira asked.
“How about a quick match? We haven’t had a chance to spar since you’ve been back.”
Jessira tilted her head in consideration. What she really wanted was a long hot soak, but a quick spar might also do her some good. If nothing else, it could help clear her mind.
Before she’d left for patrol, she had looked in on Rukh a few times. They had issues to discuss, and while he had noted her presence, he had still insisted on avoiding her. At least he had seemed content, which was a surprise given that he was a proud Kumma warrior reduced to cleaning latrines. Of course, she wasn’t sure just how happy he could be since over lunch today, she had learned that Farn Arnicep had left Stronghold about a week ago. It meant that Rukh was all alone now.
Jessira worried for him. His predicament reminded her of her own time in Ashoka. Back then, she had accused Rukh of being a coward, of abandoning their friendship because of fears of what his society would think. But hadn’t she done the same thing? Of course, Rukh had tried to push her away, farcically claiming they were nothing more than traveling companions; but she had been all too willing to follow his lead. She should have fought harder for their friendship.
“What’s wrong?” Sign asked. “You look like something’s bothering you.”
Jessira forced a smile. “Nothing a good spar won’t cure,” she said.
Mercifully, Sign dropped the matter as she and Jessira gathered their gear and headed toward the training rings.
“Do you still plan on ending your engagement with Disbar?” Sign asked.
Jessira nodded. “Would you marry him?” she asked. “After learning the kind of man he really is?”
“I wouldn’t have wanted to,” Sign said. “But I don’t know if I’d have your courage to simply end it without any explanation.”
Jessira grimaced. “It’s not courage,” she said. “It’s just something I have to do, no matter how much trouble it’s going to cause me.” Jessira was no longer concerned about the damage she would do to her reputation as much as she was about how her parents would react when they found out what she intended. They would be furious.
Sign eyed her askance.
“What is it?” Jessira asked.
“Before we left on the mission, people were talking,” she said. “This will only feed those rumors.”
“What were they saying?” Jessira asked, glancing Sign’s way with narrowed eyes.
“That you and Rukh are….” Sign trailed off, apparently not wanting to spell it out.
“They think Rukh and I are together even though I am still nominally engaged to Disbar. That doesn’t sound so bad,” Jessira said, thinking aloud.
“Are you?”
“Of course not,” Jessira replied in astonishment. “I’m ending things with Disbar later today. After that, I have to figure out what I want for myself.”
“A tall drink of Kumma?” Sign asked with an unrepentant grin.
Jessira laughed. “You’re incorrigible.”
“And I’m quite clever.”
Jessira sobered. “What else are people saying?”
Sign’s mirth left her as well. “That’s about the gist of it,” she said, wearing a guarded expression.
From her cousin’s cautious demeanor, there was likely much more; but Jessira wasn’t in the mood to hear it. “I’m sure I’ll learn the rest later,” she muttered before glancing Sign’s way. “Do you mind if we change the subject. I’ve worried about this enough as it is.” She shuddered. “I hate to think what Amma and Nanna will say about it. Or Kart. He’ll be the worst.”
“He usually is,” Sign agreed. “But if you want to change the subject…who do you think is going to win the Trials?”
“I don’t know,” Jessira said. “Has Wheel Cloud decided to try for three in a row?”
“He has,” Sign affirmed as their feet crunched along the gravel paths demarcating the training rings.
“Then I’d take Wheel. He crushed everyone last time.”
“But he’s old.”
They reached an empty ring and dropped their gear just outside its soft dirt confines.
“He’s in his early thirties,” Jessira protested as she reached for the sky, arching and stretching her back. “That’s not old. He’s probably got more than enough to win again.”
“Well, my money is on Toth Shard or Strive Loane,” Sign said, joining Jessira in limbering up. “They’re both five years younger than Wheel and just as skilled. That has to count for something.”
Jessira smiled. “Less experience?”
Sign grinned wickedly. “Care to put a wager on it?”
“What do you have in mind?”
“If Toth or Strive advance further than Wheel, you have to do my labor at East Lock for the next month.”
“And if Wheel does better, you’ve got mine for two,” Jessira said.
“What! How’s that fair?” Sign protested.
“You chose two warriors. I only got one. You’ve got a better chance to win than I do.”
“Then choose someone else.”
“Who else is there?”
Sign gave her a knowing smile. “Rukh Shektan. Cedar convinced Peddananna and Peddamma—” Jessira’s Nanna and Amma “—to sponsor him.”
“Rukh?” Jessira inhaled sharply. Her heart was suddenly beating too fast.
Sign laughed. “You’ve made your choice then? You want the Kumma.”
“I’ll take Rukh,” Jessira said, ignoring the double meaning in her cousin’s statement. She thought back to all the times she’d seen Rukh fight. He had been fast, strong, nearly unstoppable. From what she’d gathered, even amongst his own kind he was considered a prodigy. Then again, there was his arm. Jessira had heard it had been Healed, but was it fully recovered? She also realized that it didn’t matter. Even injured, she’d still take Rukh. He was that good.
“You’ve got that look on your face again.”
“What look?”
“The one where you’re thinking of something you want and don’t want at the same time.”
“The word you’re looking for is conflicted.”
Sign snapped her fingers. “That’s why I like being around you. You always know the right word to say. So why are you conflicted?”
“Because Rukh will kick everyone’s ass, and I don’t know how our warriors will take it,” Jessira lied.
“Right. And I’m the First Mother,” Sign said with an eye-roll. “Look, I like Rukh. He’s funny and charming and easy on the eyes, but he’s a man like any other. You, Cedar, and Court say he’s amazing, and I’m sure he is, but he can’t be that amazing.” She nodded her head, looking sure of herself. “You wait and see, one of our warriors will get him.”
“Tell you what. I’ll take Rukh, and you can have Strive, Toth, and Wheel. Only you’ll have three months of cleanup detail.”
“Done!” Sign crowed. “Easiest victory I’ll have all year.”
It was Jessira’s turn to roll her eyes. “I thought you wanted to spar,” she said. “Not talk all day.”
“I’m more than ready,” Sign answered, wearing a confident grin.
&nbs
p; In the past, most matches between Jessira and her cousin had ended with Sign as the victor. But that was the past. Today was a new day. Jessira was better than Sign remembered. Much better.
Jessira readied her shoke, studying her cousin’s posture. Speed and skill were important but understanding an enemy’s intention was even more so. It was the key to victory; a lesson drilled into her head by every Kumma Jessira had ever met. From posture and balance, a skilled warrior could glean an opponent’s goal before the first blow was even struck. Jessira studied her cousin, and in a moment she knew what Sign intended. “Begin,” Jessira called out.
Four strokes later, Jessira’s shoke lay against the side of Sign’s neck.
Sign grumbled something under breath, and the two women readied themselves once more.
The next pass took five strokes.
The one following took seven.
“How in the unholy hells are you doing that!” Sign complained.
“A lot of practice and a lot of training,” Jessira said with an easy grin.
“With who? I want a chance to train with him.”
“Rukh…amongst others.”
Sign glared before curiosity took the place of annoyance. “Is he really as good as you and Cedar say?”
“You’ll find out soon enough,” Jessira said. She unknowingly wore a sad smile until Sign pointed it out.
Sign studied her through narrowed eyes. “You miss him,” she guessed.
“Who?” Jessira asked, feigning ignorance.
“The Pureblood. You still have feelings for him. It’s why you looked conflicted earlier.”
Jessira’s hackles rose. Why did Sign have to be so perceptive? “Be quiet,” Jessira hissed, shooting a glance all around. “You want everyone to hear.”
“No one’s around, and I’ll never tell anyone about it.”