I turn bright red. Kale is kind enough to answer for me when he sees that I’m embarrassed. “He tried to force himself on Emma.”
Somehow this is funny to Victoria because she starts laughing. Hysterically.
“Hey, screw you Victoria!” I yell at her.
“Look, that’s James for you. Why do you think I’m here?”
“Because he wouldn’t have sex with you. He didn’t want to get you pregnant,” I respond.
She shakes her head and for once sounds like a levelheaded young woman and not a helpless, yappy puppy. She says, “No, that’s not why. He had both me and my sister. The Keepers warned him about his behavior, but he didn’t care. He’s used to getting whichever woman he wants. Or so he told me over and over again.”
I’m confused. “But why are you here then? It doesn’t make sense,” I ask.
“I’m another part of his punishment. He got me pregnant. If I’m here carrying his child, they thought he’d have twice as difficult a time as anyone else. He’s been doing a great job taking care of me, wouldn’t you say? The Keepers didn’t take into consideration that he doesn’t actually care about what happens to me or his child.”
I’m speechless . . . totally speechless. And so are Kale and Kansas. I take back every awful thing I’ve said about her. I had no idea what was really going on with her. I should have asked her.
“I’m so sorry, Victoria. Are you okay?” I respond honestly to her tragic confession.
“I’m just hungry. So hungry.” She smiles. Serious Victoria is gone in a flash, and her childlike persona comes back out to play.
Behind us, James moans. We all turn to look at him, lying on the floor as he starts to regain consciousness.
“So what do you want to do with him?” Kale directs the question to me.
“I really think Victoria should decide that, since she’s pregnant with his baby.” I look to her for an answer.
I can tell she isn’t emotionally invested in him or his fate by the quickness in which she delivers his sentence. “Give him a can of beans and kick him out. I don’t need him around, and I know y’all don’t want him here. I’ll be okay on my own. Good riddance.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Kansas says. She disappears into the kitchen and returns in seconds with a can wrapped in a brown label. She tosses it over to Kale, who puts it inside of James’ button-up shirt. Then, he peeks through the blinds that cover the window overlooking the front porch. He’s making sure it’s safe to go out. Before Kale drags the semi-unconscious cowboy outside, he pulls James’ leather boots off. James decided to put them back on once we realized we were going to stay a while with Kansas. I’m surprised he ever took them off in the first place. I know he’ll be really upset to see them gone.
Kale tries the boots out on his feet, nods a quick yep, and then throws open the front door. James is moaning as he’s being dragged down the steps of the porch. He’s not fully awake yet, but it won’t be long. Kale leaves him sprawled out in the open. The manicured grass cushions his exposed body and bare feet. It would be a funny sight if I weren’t so confused and shocked and appalled and disgusted and heartbroken.
LIFE AFTER JAMES
“Emma!” Victoria shouts from upstairs. “Emma! Come help me!”
I pry myself off the oh-so comfortable living room sofa and ascend the wooden staircase. I walk along the landing and enjoy the familiar feel of carpet beneath my feet. When I enter the room, I see the lavender comforter trailing behind Victoria. She’s marching into the bathroom like she’s on a mission.
“What are you doing? Stop!” I cry out.
She freezes in the doorway and waits for me. I peer around her and see water pooling on the tile floor. It’s getting closer to the bedroom’s carpet every second. I quickly discover that it’s coming from the sink. It’s spilling over the countertop in sheets.
I push by her and turn off the tap. “Victoria, what are you doing?”
“I was going to bathe, but the water wouldn’t stop coming out of the spout,” she huffs. “I was going to use this to dry it up.” She holds the comforter up to show me.
“You don’t take a bath from the sink. You use the shower.” I point to the walk-in shower.
“Well, how was I supposed to know that? I’ve never seen anything like that before.”
Oh yeah. She was from the 1800’s. Wow, she probably doesn’t know how to use the toilet either.
I spend the next 15 minutes mopping up her mess and showing her how to use the shower, bath products, toilet, and sink properly. When I finish, I lay the comforter back on the bed and flop down on top of it, waiting in case Victoria needs help again.
She eventually emerges with a towel wrapped around her tiny body. “I’m done,” she chirps. “Just waiting on my dress to dry. You don’t have to wait for me.” She walks over to the bed and perches on the edge. Then she adds, “That was fantastic. I like it here.”
I sit up too quickly and get a bad head rush. When the spinning stops, I reach out toward Victoria. “Here, hand me your wet things. I bet they have a dryer. I’ll go throw them in for you.”
“A what?” she asks.
“A dryer . . . to dry your clothes. Just go get them.” I thrust my hand out further and wait for her to retrieve her things.
Victoria hands me a soaking wet ball of green and white material. I nearly drop it because of the weight the water adds. The clear liquid is running down my hands and forearms, as I carry the dress and petticoat downstairs. It’s dripping on the carpet, so I hurry to find the dryer. As I’m about to round the corner, I hear Kale and Kansas talking in hushed voices. I lean in closer to eavesdrop. Who wouldn’t?
Kansas laughs. “I’ve been there before. Totally guff,” she says.
Kale laughs too. “Okay? Well, now I don’t know what to do or where we stand. From the second I saw her—I knew—and everything I’ve done since was for her, but she has no idea.”
He must be talking about Victoria. He has been at her side since we got here. Gosh that was quick. I don’t think I like the idea of him liking her. I’m cool with her now, but something about it doesn’t sit well with me.
He continues with another chuckle, “I even moved that damned hut for her, and she thanked Greg for it. I’m completely invisible to her.”
“No, I bet you’re not. She was just so wrapped up in that imbe that she didn’t want to see you. It’s not that she actually didn’t. Give her time. She’ll come around.”
He says, “I’m not so sure. I know she thinks I’m so nice to her because of the Keepers demands that we mate, but it wasn’t because of that . . . it’s not because of that.”
Oh my goodness. I quietly back up the stairs, replaying our encounters at our previous enclosure over in my mind. My inner monologue is going something like this: He tried to take the blame for me for the stunt I pulled with the writing on the glass. He moved my hut. He held me after we were punished. Was that Kale blocking the public from seeing me cry—that day that I lost it out in the open? It was all because he likes me and not because the Keepers wanted him to mate with me. Is that true?
No.
Maybe?
Oh my goodness.
I mean, I guess I had an idea, but he’s never said it—out loud. I am not hearing this. Not now, only hours after James tried to force himself on me. I stomp down the stairs, announcing my arrival to Kale and Kansas. “Hey Kansas,” I call out, louder than I need to. “Do you have a dryer?”
I turn the corner and walk into the living room. They are sitting next to each other on the tan, leather sofa. Kansas smiles at me. “Yeah, sure,” she answers. “The laundry room is by the kitchen. It’s the door on the right.” She points to the back of the house.
Kale smiles at me as well, but I try to avoid eye contact with him as I make my way past them. “Great, thanks. Just going to throw Victoria’s dress in, if you don’t mind.” I show her the wadded up dress.
“No, not at all. Make yourself at home.”
Padding lightly on the glossy wood floor, I try not to draw too much more attention to myself. Behind me, Kale rises from the sofa and lets us know he’s off to shower. If I weren’t holding a dripping ball of clothes, my hands would be sweating for sure.
The dryer is just like what I’m used to. I toss Victoria’s laundry in, turn the dials accordingly, and press the start button. When I stand back up and turn around, Kansas is standing next to me, smiling. Her sudden appearance startles me. I gasp.
The teal streak in her hair is accentuating her mesmerizing eyes. They crinkle up as she grins. “Calm down. Just wanted to make sure you found it okay,” she says, her voice smooth.
“Yeah. Got it going just fine. Thanks,” I answer as I try to squeeze past her. She doesn’t budge, but I manage to slip around her thin frame. “Do we need to take turns keeping watch tonight?” I ask, trying to break the awkwardness of the moment.
“No need. I’ll be down here on the couch if you need anything. I gave Kale a gun—not that you’ll need it. The others don’t know about it, so you can keep it when you leave tomorrow.” Kansas follows me through the living room as I try to escape. She’s intimidating and kind at the same time. It’s an odd mixture, and I’m not sure how I feel about it.
She stops me before I make it to the stairs. “How are you doing after what happened earlier?” she asks.
“Um. Okay, I guess,” I say with a shrug. That’s not really true. I’m still in shock. In fact, can I really trust anyone here? No, I can’t start that line of thought. Kansas has given us so much already, Kale has been there for me since the beginning, and well, Victoria really is a helpless puppy. I can trust them, but how did I let James fool me? I feel like such an idiot.
Kansas isn’t fooled by my tepid response. Her face softens, losing its tough mask. “Look, we’re in a place with situations that we were never meant to experience. The worst in us emerges here. Unfortunately, the worst of James was not just a bad attitude. Don’t blame yourself for the horrible, perverted person he’s always been deep down. Okay?”
I nod yes.
“Oh and try opening your eyes and really seeing what was there all along.” Kansas leaves me with that puzzle as she heads off for the kitchen. Well, it would have been a puzzle if I hadn’t overheard her and Kale’s conversation.
The hike back up the stairs is over too quickly. I stand inches from the door of the room that I will be sharing with Kale and Victoria for the night. Kale.
Everything is different now, I acknowledge as I reach out to turn the knob.
AWKWARD
Victoria is already fast asleep in the queen-size bed. She’s curled into a little ball, near the edge, with half her head covered by the lavender comforter. I’m happy that she’s able to rest peacefully before we’re once again sleeping on the hard ground outside.
I cross the room to climb in bed on the other side of Victoria. As I’m about to crawl in, the door to the bathroom opens. Steam billows out along with the scent of vanilla. Kale walks out with a ball of wet clothes in his hands and a towel wrapped around his waist. I’m trying my best not to look at his exposed chest, but I can’t help noticing the artwork that covers his left pectoral muscle, left arm to the wrist, and part of his back. It is truly amazing and must have taken a very long time to complete. Is it strange that I find it attractive? I quickly look away.
“Going throw these in the dryer. Be back in a sec.,” he says as he leaves the room, never once looking at me.
I don’t answer him. Instead, I hurry to the bathroom before he gets back. When I finish, I move to the sink to wash my hands. I’m confronted with the black handgun that Kansas gave Kale. It’s laying there—right next to the soap—staring at me. I’ve never really been afraid of guns, since they’re pretty common in the south, but it’s completely different once you’ve been shot at.
A hand reaches around me and snatches the gun off the countertop, as I stand frozen, staring at it. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of this,” Kale assures me.
He’s exchanged his towel for a pair of boxer shorts, which is making me flustered in addition to the weapon. Is he really going to sleep next to me in the bed dressed like that?
“Are you okay?” Kale asks me with concern thick in his voice.
“Mmm hmm.” I nod as I wash my hands.
“Is this about the gun, because I promise not to shoot at you,” he jokes.
I smile as I walk past him, back toward the bed. “Oh, yeah. Just makes me a little nervous.” I don’t tell him that he’s also making me nervous. I climb into the bed and scoot to the center, expecting him to take the edge. Instead, he grabs a blanket off of the dresser that wasn’t there before and spreads it out on the floor at the foot of the bed.
“Aren’t you going to sleep up here with us?” I whisper. I’m actually relieved to see that he’s not—beyond relieved.
“No, that’s okay. You two take the bed. I’ll be fine down here. Pretty used to lying on the ground anyway. The carpet will be a bonus.” He’s standing at the end of the bed, shirtless and chivalrous, smiling at me with sincere affection. I can’t feel the same way in return—not just yet. I think I was starting to realize some things about Kale before James attacked me, but those wounds are too fresh. I need to heal, and then, maybe I can see what’s been there all along, as Kansas recommended.
“Thanks,” I say to him. “And thanks for everything. Really. You’ve been nicer to me than I deserve.”
He looks like he wants to ask me what “everything” means, but thinks better. “You don’t need to thank me,” he says, his voice dripping with kindness. “Everything I do for you is because I want to do it . . . And by the way, you do deserve it.”
I reach over and turn off the lamp beside the bed so he can’t see me blush.
During the night, I have nightmares of James chasing me and firing a gun at my back. I run as fast as I can, but my legs don’t seem to carry me anywhere. I open my mouth to scream. Nothing comes out. The pop, pop, pop of the gun sounds like it’s right next to my ear. I try to duck and take cover. He catches me and grabs me by the front of my shirt, balling it up in his fist and pulling me closer to his face. I can’t break away. He’s too strong. His handsome face is distorted by the mania within his soul.
I toss and turn the entire night, having different versions of the same nightmare.
The real nightmare, of course, is having to leave this sanctuary in mere hours.
BEGGING NEVER DOES ANYONE ANY GOOD
“Please let us stay, Kansas. We don’t have anywhere to go. Please,” I beg. I’m exhausted from my nightmares and the trauma of arriving to this super-enclosure. I can’t even fathom having to go out on our own. We only have one gun to protect the three of us (three and a half).
“I’m sorry friends, but you can’t stay here,” Kansas says with a grim expression. “The others will be back soon, and I promise it’s safer for you out there than if you stay here. There are things that I can’t tell you about.” She tosses a brown backpack at Kale, who catches it with no problem. “There are three water bottles, a book of matches, and some food in there. Not a lot, but enough for a day or two.”
Victoria is crying, but doesn’t say anything. I’m glad, because I don’t think I could take the added stress of her whining. Besides, I’ve done enough of that for the both of us.
“Thank you, Kansas,” Kale says as he digs through the bag.
“Oh, good. Here, can you put this in there so I don’t have to carry it?” I hand Kale the thin light cord that I hid under the bed, while we stayed with Kansas. He takes it out of my hand and buries it inside the bag.
“The mountains are probably your best bet, but remember to stay away from the caves,” Kansas warns. “You should probably try to build a hut or something for shelter, but be prepared to move around a lot. If anyone comes your way, run. Don’t stay and try to fight them off. You can start to trade with some of the other more peaceful residents, and maybe one o
f those groups will even take you in. It’s going to be hard for a while. I’m sorry about that, but I know in the end, you will be okay.”
How can she be so sure? I ask myself.
I take Victoria’s hand as we’re ushered toward the front door. Kale and Victoria are back in their old clothes with the exception of Kale’s new jeans (courtesy of Kansas’ housemate) and James’ cowboy boots. I can see the handgun Kansas gave Kale poking out of the top of his dark pants. He slings the backpack over his shoulder and fearlessly throws open the door. I pull Victoria along after me, forcing her to keep walking forward.
Before we step outside, I turn back and thank Kansas one more time for all her help, even though I’m bitter about not being able to stay. But maybe she’s right. We don’t know with whom she lives with, and it may be better for us to not be here when they get back. “Kansas, really, thank you so much for everything. We are so grateful.”
She offers me a smile and then turns to Kale. She has one last thing to say as the three of us stand at the bottom of the porch. “Kale, remember what I told you, if it happens.”
He nods.
Kansas stands on the front porch with her shotgun slung over her shoulder. She puts her hand over her heart and bows her head as we walk away from her.
That doesn’t seem very promising . . .
INTO THE WILD
We pass the third suburban home on our way across the valley floor. The door is open wide, and the windows show an empty interior. While this home may be dead inside, there’s lively music and shouting echoing over the land. It’s drifting over from the western town.
I wonder if that’s where James went last night. Probably. Why do I even care?
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