by T. J. Quinn
Garan walked her back to her office in silence and sat across from her desk. He put his hands on her desk and asked, “Is that why you asked me why I am with you…because you don’t think you are pretty?”
She turned her head slightly and replied, “No, it’s because everyone knows I am not pretty and you are very attractive and successful. I just can’t understand why you would want to date me.”
He said quietly, “Remember when you finally told me that maybe everyone did not find me attractive but you did. Well, it’s kind of like that only…well…you really are pretty. All my men think so anyway. Many large vampire males prefer larger women…women we will not accidentally break.” He looked embarrassed.
She could not keep the smile off her face as she said, “Well you definitely found a nice way to say that. I will admit that as far as larger size women go, I am not badly looking.”
He smiled and looked very relieved but responded, “If not bad looking means beautiful then you are correct.”
She couldn’t resist asking, “If you prefer larger woman how do you explain your primary relationship thus far being with Dakota who is extremely small?”
He sighed and replied, “That is a story you will find very strange and probably very funny. For now just let me say, I didn’t date Dakota, she dated me. In fact, I tried my very best not to date her, but as you know, I have yet to find the magical words to make women go away that I do not desire.”
Lona burst out laughing and made a motion with her hand shooing him out of her office. He was glad that had somehow managed to have a conversation that did not involve her getting mad at him. That was a rarity for them.
He stood up, leaned over, gave her a small chaste kiss on the lips and headed out of her office. Lona sat at her desk and gently touched her lips as she thought about how much she enjoyed his small kiss and about how protective he had been when the blond haired scientist was messing with her. He seemed to be growing kind of fond of her.
Chapter 6
Strong People Have Feelings Too
Lona was arranging food on a breakfast station when she overheard Dakota saying, “If you don’t want to hunt with him that is fine. You can still hunt with me, but you should at least try to spend time getting to know him. Garan is your father.”
Jared replied, “I know but soon he will be gone, and it will be just us again. I’m sure he is nice, but I think he just wants to spend 5 minutes doing the right thing so he can go back to where he came from and feel good about himself.”
Dakota signed and said, “Jared, the bottom line is you are missing out by not getting to know your father, but you are also making him miss out on getting to know his son.”
Jared responded, “I am not very impressive. Perhaps I am just saving him the disappointment of getting to know me.”
Garan came in and sat beside Jared and began making polite small talk. Jared wolfed down his food and immediately left the table.
Dakota looked at him and said, “I can’t make him like you Garan.”
Garan looked mortified and responded, “Why would you ever think for one minute I would want that?” He sighed and continued, “Dakota, I don’t want anyone to force him into anything related to me. I know I am nowhere near as interesting as your love mate whom you have inadvertently trained him to think of as his father. I just want to spend a few months or years exploring the possibility of having a relationship with my son. If I come to find out he doesn’t want that, then I will let him be. Putting all this pressure on him and yourself is not the way to make that happen. Just give him time. It will happen or it won’t.”
Dakota replied, “I think we have all had a rough time of it Garan. I feel guilty that I didn’t tell you when I found him. He has low self-esteem and worries he will not be able to live up to your expectations. I worry about having you here on top of us for endless months or years.”
Garan looked embarrassed and asked, “Dakota would you like me to leave?”
She looked away and responded, “Perhaps it would be for the best Garan. Give us some time to come together as a family and then see where he is in a year or so.”
Garan looked down at his hands and said, “I will give your request some serious consideration Dakota. However, I don’t know if I can just walk out on my only son because you think its best. It does not seem quite fair to me that you continually pull me off the shelf when you have need of me then toss me aside when I am no longer useful to you. If it were you alone, I wouldn’t mind, but now you are making decisions for my son and me as well and well, to be honest, they seem like selfish decisions to me.”
He stood up, walked outside and stood in the pale moonlight sucking in the cool autumn air as tears welled up in his eyes. He had never felt particularly wanted in his long life, but he had the distinct disadvantage of feeling actually unwanted in this particular situation. It hurt a lot more than he thought it would.
Dakota noticed that Lona looked extremely annoyed. Her facial expression was totally closed, and she did not give eye contact with anyone at the table as she supervised dinner. When she put a glass of water down for Dakota, she noticed there was something written on the napkin. It said ‘I quit, the last day will be Friday.’
Dakota looked up at the woman and wondered what could have possibly made her angry enough to quit. Perhaps one of Garan’s men had been rude to her. She made a mental note to speak with her later.
As the evening wore on everyone ended up in the game room, and Dakota noticed that Garan seemed to get excluded at every turn by Jared. Dakota wondered why her son would not even give him a chance, especially because things had started out so positive between the two of them. It was kind of heart breaking to watch. Jared seemed to prefer to spend his time with Alek and Marko. Alek had even attempted to redirect him a couple of times to no avail.
Dakota slid into the kitchen as Lona was getting her staff organized to clean up for the evening. Dakota walked over to her and Lona did not look up but said, “What can I do for you, Dakota?”
Dakota responded, “The note that you slipped to me took me a little by surprise. I wanted to talk to you about it.”
Lona walked into her office, and Dakota followed. Dakota asked, “Has anyone been bothering you? What made you decide to leave with a four day notice? Have Garan’s men been giving you a hard time?”
Lona looked up at her and Dakota could see for the first time that the woman’s green eyes were furious and she explained, “It’s you, Dakota, that’s why I am leaving. I always thought you were a kind decent person, but I can see that is not quite true.”
Dakota looked shocked and said, “What have I done to you, Lona?”
The woman pushed a strand of dark red hair from her face and replied, “It has become quite painful for me to watch your family dynamic involving Garan. You marginalize him off and on all the time, are verbally disrespectful to him at times then you turn right around and at other times and seem like his staunchest supporter. You are sending mixed messages and letting your own excess emotional baggage spill over onto Jared and Garan. It’s spoiling any chance they have of forming a normal relationship. Nice people don’t do things like that. Garan came here because you asked for his help. He helped, and now all he wants is the opportunity to get to know his son. He has a right to do that.”
“I get really aggravated watching you model disrespectful behavior for you son and then pretend you do not know why he won’t give his father a chance. I think you are so concerned with proving your loyalty to your bond mate that you use every opportunity to marginalize Garan and you don’t even care if you do it in front of his son. Strong people have feelings too Dakota. We should show respect and compassion to others not because they are perfect but because they aren’t. I don’t have control over how you treat your family, but I have control over whether or not I am around to see it.”
Dakota’s eyes here huge and Lona could see she was deeply shocked. Dakota replied, “Thank you for sharing that with me
Lona. I don’t think I realized I was doing that but now that you pointed it out I can see how I may be contributing to this problem.”
Dakota walked out and sat on the huge rock off to the side of the garden. She rolled back through her mind all the quips and barbs and realized she had not been very supportive of Garan. She felt a welling up of guilt because, by contrast, he had been nothing but supportive of her.
Alek joined her and Dakota told him what Lona had said to her.
Alek thought it over and finally said, “I think we have not been doing a very good job of being proactive about this situation. We both know what we need to do. Let’s just make a conscious choice to do the right thing by both of them from now on. You are getting called a lot to hunt, maybe you could refer some of those cases to Garan, and if Jared wants to hunt, he can elect to accompany him and if not, he can stay here and go to class.”
Dakota smiled and replied, “I like where your head is on this one. I just got a consult on a missing child.”
Alek pulled her briefly into his arms and whispered, “Pass it on and come to bed my sweet. You know Garan will do right by the child.”
Dakota walked into the lounge and sat at the table with Garan. Garan glanced up, and she could tell by the look on his face he was expecting more criticism from her.
She cleared her throat and said, “I have a case if you are in the mood to hunt.”
Garan looked at her suspiciously, and she continued, “It’s a child, four years old, missing since eleven a.m. this morning, she’s local, and she needs a good hunter. You are the strongest, kindest most decent person I have ever met. You came to teach your son to be a warrior. This is your chance.”
His expression changed to one of gratitude, and she continued, “Garan, I am a good hunter only because you taught me to be. You believed in me even when I doubted myself. I owe everything that I am to you, and I don’t think I have ever said thank you properly for that. Trust me when I say you are a much better role model for our son than I am. It has been brought to my attention that I have not been very supportive of you and I know in my heart that it’s true. I apologize to you for that, you deserve much better from me in particular because you have shown me nothing but kindness and support since the first day I met you.”
He reached over and placed his hand on her arm and replied, “Dakota I harbor no hard feelings against you. I respect you because you have been through much more in your life than any woman should. I am glad you finally found your bond mate. Alek is a good person and worthy mate for you.”
She placed her other hand on his and said, “This is a good case. If my son has good sense, he will help you hunt this child. She needs you both, and this is much more important than playing video games with his little love mate.” She slid the data file onto the table in front of him. He smiled his thanks, and she headed to bed. It felt strange to leave the hunting to others, but she was confident in their ability to find the child.
Jared walked over and asked if he could look through the information with him. Jared realized at some point that his mother’s description of her behavior towards Garan could also be applied to him. Jared could see that his father was honorable and had a right to know his own son. What he was not so sure about was how his father would react to learning about him. There were many things he never told anyone, not even his mother or Selene. Selene would know in a few years when they shared the blood bond because she would walk in his mind. He worried that she would not want him after she saw those things.
"I have hunted a child with my mother. It will be interesting to see how the process differed with you.”
Garan pulled the data file up on his electronic notepad, and they began rummaging through the information. Dakota passed Lona who was listening and watching her conversation with Garan from the doorway. Dakota said, “Thank you, Lona. You are a good person to care so much about all of us. We would have a hard time getting along without you. I wish you would consider staying on with us.”
Lona smiled and thought she just might hang around. Lona watched Garan with his son and noticed how much alike they were. They had the same mannerisms which were surprising because Jared was not raised around him. They both crinkled their nose the same way when the trying to figure something out. It was kind of cute.
It warmed her heart to see Garan relaxed and interacting in a meaningful way with his son. She smiled and headed back to wrap things up for tomorrow’s meal prep. Her kitchen staff was very competent which meant she rarely had to perform kitchen functions herself.
Chapter 7
Love in Letters
Lona wrapped things up in the dining area and headed to her bungalow. When she slid onto her porch, Garan was suddenly behind her. She turned around and said, “Haven’t we had the stalking conversation? Don’t sneak up…”
The next thing she knew his arms were around her and his lips were on hers. She put her hands on his chest and began to ease herself back, but he just pulled her closer and ran one strong hand up her back as he kissed her with a growing passion. The next thing she knew her arms were around his neck and they were fit together like two puzzle pieces.
He trailed his kisses to her neck and whispered into her ear, “Thank you, Miss. Lona. No one has ever spoken for me that way before.”
She began to protest, but he said, “Don’t bother…I followed Dakota to tell you both that I was just going to head back tomorrow and I heard everything you told her. A few hours ago, I was depressed, lonely and was about to give up on my son for a second time but now, thanks to you, I have everything any male could ever want. I have a job doing what I love; a son willing to learn from me, and a beautiful woman who cares for me.”
She tried to take a step back, but he was not ready to let her go.
He pulled her close and whispered. “Tell me how you feel about me. Just tell me honestly and please know that no matter what you say I will leave you alone until you come to me. I promise.”
She looked up at him for a long hard moment and said, “I love you. I know I shouldn’t, I know you will never love me back, and I really tried not to care about you, but I do love you with all my heart and soul. You are the most attractive man I have ever met.” She closed her eyes and said with emotion, “Now get out of here.”
He smiled, slid one hand across her face, held up a piece of paper he had in his hand and placed it in her hand along with a silver locket on a long chain. He shoved his hands in his pockets and walked away without another word. He got into a vehicle with Jared and two of his men and left for his hunt.
She went into her small house and placed the piece of paper and necklace on the table. Had a shower, dried her hair and put on clean pajamas. She got a box of tissue, got into bed and opened her goodbye letter. She knew before she read the first word that she was going to miss him terribly. The letter said:
Dear Lona.
I overheard everything you said to Dakota tonight, and I want you to know that in my long life no one has ever stood up for me that way before. I really love you for doing that for me. To be quite honest I have loved you from the very first time I ever met you. The moment I saw your beautiful red hair and those beautiful green eyes my heart belonged to no other. I know you will never believe me, but I think you are truly the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.
The more I got to know you the more I realized you are a strong, vibrant woman with a wonderful sense of humor and a challenging whit. I have watched other people fall in love and honestly had no idea what made them act so strange. Now I know the feelings that motivated them. Sometimes when you are near, my brain stops working. No woman has ever done that to me before. I worry all the time that to you I must seem like an idiot because I can never think what to say when I am with you.
I know that I am not the kind of vampire that human women like. I don’t have long hair or nice fangs, but I do have a loving heart and the ability to treat you with dignity and respect for all the days of your life. I plan to ask you h
ow you feel about me tonight. I anticipate that you will tell me that you don’t think of me the same way I think of you. If that is the case, I will accept it because I wish only for your happiness. If I am not what you want, then I want you to be free to find a person you can really love. I would never want to deny you the opportunity to feel for someone the things I feel in my heart for you. It is the best feeling in the world.
I know that some vampire men are looking for a human woman because they like the idea of feeding with their love mate. This is something that I would never expect of you. I am only looking for friendship, love, companionship, and intimacy. Feeding is not as important to me, this I will seek elsewhere.
If you find that you have even a small amount of love in your heart for me, I beg of you to come to me when I get back and give me a chance to fan that small flame into the wild fire that is burning in my soul for you.
I hope you will accept this locket. It has been passed down in my family for many generations and is given to represent a promise of love. It is the only possession I own from my home world. Even if you want nothing to do with me, it will give me great pleasure to know the woman I love wears my promise necklace.
Sorry if my love in letters is not as romantic as the letters other men write. I know nothing of such things, so I just wrote to you about the thoughts and feelings I have for you. I hope you sleep well tonight my love knowing that you are in my thoughts and that you are always first in my soul.
I will cherish you always,
Garan
PS: You were right that those of us who are strong have feelings too. Thank you for noticing that. I love you.
Lona reread the letter. She noticed that Garan used the word soul like human’s used the word heart. It was typical of aliens, and she thought it was kind of cute. She could hardly believe the things he had written. She opened the little locket and found a picture of him inside with very messy hair. She wondered if he did that intentionally because she had mentioned to him that his messy hair was sexy. She turned the locket over in her hands. It looked antique and not of this world.