by Amy Brent
I bit my lip, looking into the crevice of Eric’s belly button. Was I really going to tell him this? What would he think of me after? What if he—
Shaking my head firmly, I renewed my resolve. If Eric loved me, if he really loved truly me and not some idealized idea of me, then he’d love me with this too. He had to.
“It all started out innocently. I’d say a joke and Stan would be the only one who would laugh. We’d have random snatches of conversation in the kitchen or in the hallway when he came over to visit Sarah. Then, gradually, it grew. He started messaging me on my phone about things that had nothing to do with Sarah. We even started meeting up for coffee. And then, one day, he admitted it to me. He’d fallen for me. He said he realized he never loved Sarah, and I—I let him kiss me.”
The admission was ugly and horrible out in the open, but I wasn’t finished. I couldn’t look at Eric’s face until I was finished.
“After the kiss, as much as I wanted it to continue, as much as everything in me screamed for me to just go for it and screw stupid Sarah, I pulled away. I told him it couldn’t happen, that we couldn’t happen. Even though I’d admitted I’d fallen for him too, I knew it wasn’t right. I got up right after and walked away, because I knew if I stayed, I knew if he protested enough, I’d give in. So I left, and that was it. Stan and Sarah broke up just a week later, and she was gutted for months. I never told my sister, but I think she knew anyway. By the end, I could feel her eyes on my back when we talked and he laughed so easily with me. Things had already been strained with us for the past year or so. After that, they reached an all-time low. Now we can go years without talking.”
A thick silence followed my horrible admission. But what was it a silence of? Judgment or understanding?
“That’s rough,” Eric finally said.
His hand settled on my head and gave me a reassuring stroke.
“For a minute,” he said, “I was a bit worried you were gonna tell me you’d killed someone, or that you were still seeing Stan to this day.”
I let out a relieved laugh.
“Oh no, that was years ago. I haven’t seen or heard from him since that day, although the damage is done.”
“I’m really sorry,” he said again, throwing his arms around me and pressing me to his chest in a protective embrace.
“Do you think I’m a horrible person now?” I asked quietly.
Sometimes, when I was really sad and tired, I did. I could almost drive myself wild with guilt thinking about it, trying to binge on ice cream sandwiches or Netflix to drive it all away.
Eric paused to look at me, as if he were thinking about the answer. But when he shook his head, there was no trace of uncertainty there.
“Nope,” he said simply. “A shady teenager maybe, but we all did stupid shit when we were that age.”
His face darkened.
“I almost totaled my parents’ car by driving drunk in it,” he admitted. “It was after some party and I was just being a dumb kid with some of my friends. Ever since that day, I’ve never gotten behind the wheel even after one drink.”
His gaze sought mine. “Do you think I’m a horrible person?”
I held back my smile. “Basically,” I said, smirking at him.
He attacked my armpit with his hand, tickling me.
“Liar,” he accused as I shrieked with giggles.
Chapter 38
Eric
It was a glorious day when you woke up with a beautiful woman next to you. With my fingertips, I stroked the soft skin of her cheek. It seemed impossibly soft, like nothing else in the world. How could a baby’s skin have been softer?
My next stroke made Kathryn stir and shift positions slightly, so I backed off.
My beautiful Kathryn deserved all the sleep she could get. And me? I would make us breakfast.
It was with a little laugh of déjà vu that I made us a towering mountain of bacon. Same meal and yet entirely different circumstances. Right now, everything was solved. Or, most things at least. As I tended to the scrambled eggs, the more I thought about Kathryn leaving later today, the less I liked it. But what was I supposed to do?
When I got upstairs with the breakfast tray in hand, Kathryn was peeking out of one half-awake eye.
“Morning, sleepy,” I said to her, placing the breakfast tray next to her while I lay down on the opposite side.
She yawned, smiling slightly.
“Is that for me?”
I nodded.
“I was going to ask you to make it, but I wasn’t sure a sleepwalker’s breakfast would be anything to write home about.”
At this, both Kathryn’s eyes fluttered open with an accusatory look. When I started cracking up, she flicked me with two of her fingers.
“Jerk.”
“You like it,” I said, lifting a piece of crunchy bacon to my lips. I crunched down and smiled. Today was going to be a good day. I could tell.
“It is pretty good,” Kathryn admitted a few minutes later, finally sitting up.
My gaze dropped to her perfectly beautiful chest.
“Definitely.”
Another flick, this time right in the neck.
“Whoa!” I protested. “What was that for?”
Crossing her arms over her chest, Kathryn declared, “They aren’t just pretty good.”
Slipping my hands under her crossed arms, I gave both boobs a good squeeze before I replied, “You’re right. They’re as good as boobs get.”
Kathryn sniffed, although there was something of a smile in it.
“And if you think this breakfast is pretty good,” I said, “wait until you try my cook’s. He’s coming in tomorrow.”
“So, you want me to stay over again?” she asked.
“I want you to move in,” I said without a thought.
Silence. Had I really just said that? More importantly, did I actually mean it? Now that the words were out there, they seemed so final, like the dark velvet curtains over my windows.
“Eric,” Kathryn said in a hushed voice.
Her dark gaze was probing my face, probably to see if I had actually meant what I’d said.
“Sorry,” I said. “It’s kind of a lot at once. I know I just said we’d take it slow, and then—”
“You invited me to move in with you,” she pointed out with a wry smile.
I placed an arm around her shoulders and squeezed. “What can I say? Last night, the sex was good.”
Kathryn didn’t smirk or giggle like she should have. Instead, she disengaged herself.
“This isn’t just some big joke, okay? This is my life.”
Suddenly, all ease was sucked out of the room.
Straightening myself upright, I said, “Of course. You’re completely right. I’m sorry. I’m just—this is freaking me out again, and I’m trying to make myself more comfortable.”
Kathryn only nodded slightly, reaching over for another piece of bacon.
“If you need time to decide—”
What if she didn’t need time to decide at all? What if the answer was obviously no but she wasn’t willing to tell me straight up right here and now?
Kathryn nodded again, her face showing signs of uncertainty.
“I’d have to talk to Sadie before I make any big decision, and obviously think about it myself.”
Under the sheets, my hand found hers and clasped it.
“Of course,” I told her. “Take all the time you need. The important thing is, no matter what your decision is, I love you.”
Her cheeks pinked.
“I love you, too.”
We shared a sweet kiss.
It was in such a daze that I watched Kathryn peck at a bit more food. My mind was racing. As much as I’d meant what I’d said—that I did love her and respect her regardless of her choice—the longer I mulled it through my mind, the longer I realized that I really did want Kathryn here with me. Everything was just better with her. It just was.
After we finished eating, she
shyly asked me to take her home, probably because I’d freaked her out a bit by my abrupt proposition.
The car ride was casual enough. We kissed goodbye.
As soon as I was back home, I started pacing. What if Kathryn not only said no, but talking to Sadie made her realize how crazy it had been for me to even suggest her moving in out of the blue like that? What if by barreling ahead when I’d asked for the complete opposite, I didn’t just ruin our current chance to live together but also our entire relationship? Sure, Kathryn had seemed understanding at the end, but who knew what she was feeling by now.
That night, my doorbell rang. I opened it to see her. She was wearing a little black dress and a big red smile.
“Hi, roomie.”
I let her walk in without moving. Roomie? Could that actually have meant—?
“I talked to Sadie and found out she was already feeling guilty because she was actually going to ask me to move out. Can you believe that?” Kathryn said, smiling widely. “She wants to open an Airbnb to distract herself from things for a while. She said we’ve kinda gotten lazy as friends since we started living together, that we need to start doing what we used to do, going for movies, shopping, and stuff like that. She was actually ecstatic about the whole thing. And me—”
Kathryn fell silent, as if she were just now noticing that she’d been talking a mile a minute.
“I’d really like moving in with you too,” she said in a quiet voice.
Behind me, the door shut. I stood there looking at her. My Kathryn, the mother of my child, the sexpot in the little black dress. I was surging with so much emotion, I had no idea what to do next.
“Come here,” I finally said in a hoarse voice.
Chapter 39
Kathryn
My feet obeyed instinctively. I walked into a kiss with him. Our lips seemed to know what to do, our hands even more so.
Thought was completely extinguished. All there was were his ever-stroking hands, feeling, enjoying. His mouth was so connected to mine that it seemed we’d been born this way somehow. Born to meet. Born to touch each other.
He kissed off my dress, stroked off my panties, and caressed off my bra. And then, he took me by the hand and led me where he wanted.
This time, on his bedside table, there was a blindfold. I couldn’t take my eyes off it as he lapped my nipples with his tongue. Following my gaze, he smirked. Snatching it up, he slipped it over my eyes.
Darkness took over everything. A nibble on my throat made me jump. Then his finger in my pussy made me groan.
Excitement tingled every part of me. What part was he going to touch next? What part did I want him to?
It didn’t seem to matter. His body knew exactly where mine least anticipated it. He licked the folds of my inner thighs while his hand clasped down on my neck, squeezing slightly. It was just the right amount of pressure, just the right amount of pleasure.
Everything was sensation and sound, like the soft slurps of Eric’s tongue as it traced down my belly.
“Please,” I groaned once he reached my clit.
Eric wasn’t done toying with me. He slipped in another finger and twirled them in my already soaked depths. He slapped my face with his dick and then dragged it slowly down my body while I shook from suppressed want.
I flailed out my arms to grab him, to grab his dick and put it where I wanted it.
He easily brushed my hands away, kissing mockery into my ear.
“Not yet.”
Now, he was stoking my edge, lighting the fire, stroking and licking and sucking every part of me at once. My body was throbbing. My mouth was howling. Groans and moans had joined into one syllable of pleading want.
When he slapped his hand over my mouth, he shoved himself in.
Immediately, I came. All the pent-up want that had been swirling in me was released, throttling me. He removed his hand so I could hear the inhuman scream that was stabbing out of my mouth.
And still, he didn’t let up. In and out, deeper and deeper. Fast mashed into faster. Gurgling out pleasure’s syllables, I screamed. Our bodies smeared over each other as another orgasm tore out of me. And still, Eric’s pitiless dick was as hard as ever.
I was just calming down after the latest peak when he started jabbing me once more.
“Oh no,” I groaned. Then: “Oh yes.”
Eric knew he had me where he wanted me.
“Please?” I groaned.
He slapped my face and kissed the spot he had just hit. Painful pleasure ripped through me. My body was shaking, aching for what it needed.
I couldn’t even keep track of what I was saying to get what I needed now.
“Please,” I groaned. “Please, I’ll do anything. I’ll do—”
The next words were thrust out of me.
Eric’s new pace was as good as a jackhammer. Our bodies were now locked in this spasmodic tempo of more. More intensity and more thrusts. More moans smeared into one scream. More neurons firing and nerves exploding into fireworks of feeling. Everything was swirling. Everything was disappearing. Everything felt good and felt better and felt fan-fucking-tastic.
My orgasm was throttling deeper into me until it rushed out, as he spilled his release into me, he released mine.
This release was the biggest yet, a nirvana of the senses. Everything had gone silent, sublimity aided by the symphony of sensation rocketing through me. On and on and on, red-tinged oohs and orange-tinged ahhs.
Until I was delivered from it, died and born again into this man’s arms.
After we were cleaned up, words seemed like the natural thing to spill out of our mouths. Tucked into his arms, it surprised me what came out of mine as he tenderly caressed my cheek.
“I want to go to Rome,” I told him. “I want to see the world. You, my baby, and I. I want to keep my job. I want everything. I want us to be beautifully happy, Eric.”
For a split second, what I had just said terrified me. Eric was quiet. But when I looked his way, I saw that his eyes were half-closed with ease, an ease that came from understanding exactly what I’d said and agreeing with it.
“You know what I see?” he asked. “I see us ridiculously happy together, doing whatever we want to do. Travelling, working, just loving each other and loving our little baby. Loving her as much as we love each other. I see us together, happy.”
I huddled closer to his chest, and we closed our eyes—not to block out the present, but to bask in the future. Right now was great, and the future was going to be even better.
Epilogue
Eric
Nine Months Later
While everyone sat at the table happily eating their steak and fish, I watched them: my mom and dad, rosy with wine and good conversation; my partner, her eyes sparkling with how perfect tonight had been already; and then her, my daughter. Little two-month-old Emily. She was a little fatty with a patch of Kathryn’s dark hair and what Kathryn claimed were my sea-green eyes. And she had the most terrific farts imaginable.
I chuckled to myself.
How could things ever top this? That was what I’d thought nine months ago when Kathryn and I had curled up together in my bed and talked about the future before we’d kissed and kissed. Yet now, with this moment here, we’d somehow managed to top it.
But I knew better. What would come tonight would top even this. It would even top my lingering by the door just so I could watch how happy my family was over dinner.
I was the luckiest man in the world.
When I returned to the table, Kathryn’s pink lips were upturned as she spoke.
“Sadie’s Airbnb is booming. She got to quit her tattoo artist job, so now she just does specialty work for her favorite clients. Sgt. Williams came to visit the other day—”
Baby Emily clapped her chubby hands together, probably delighted by the mere memory of the snowy white bearded man who’d presented her with a little stuffed rabbit.
My dad took my mom’s hand. Shooting me a wink, he lifted his
glass of wine.
“I just wanted to say cheers, to my son and his happy partner, Kathryn, and most of all, baby Emily. May you continue to be as magnificently happy as you all clearly are right now.”
Kathryn and I lifted our glasses, and we all cheered.
“To happiness.”
***
Tonight, I had my parents watch baby Emily. Kathryn had shot me a questioning look, but I’d only smiled with a wink. No way was I going to give away what was in store for her tonight.
One step through the door and she saw it.
“Eric,” she said, not taking another step. “What’s…”
She fell silent. I peeked in to take a look myself. The delivery guys had done a great job. All up the stairs, all through the hallway, basically covering every flat surface were roses. Heaps and heaps of red roses.
I sucked in a deep breath. This was it.
Falling to one knee, I looked up at her.
“Kathryn, to say you were a surprise wouldn’t do what’s happened between us justice at all. I never planned to fall for you. Part of me thought I’d never fall for anyone. But, from the first moment I met you, I knew there was something special about you, something unique and singular, something that challenged me and yet delighted me. It brought out the best in me, and more than that, it made me want to strive for more, made me want to be a better man. The beginning was rough, but every moment of it was worth it because of what we’ve forged together. And yet, part of me knows that this is only the beginning. I’ll never be satisfied just having you as my girlfriend or my partner. My heart knows we are meant for something more. I would never be able to rest by your side, happy, unless I knew you were my wife. So please, Kathryn Munn, make me an even better man than I am today, and say yes.”
I’d been so focused on what I was saying that I’d barely seen Kathryn’s face. Her pale skin was almost translucent in the moonlight, reflective from the long streams of tears.
“Eric, I—”
She let out a loud, delighted laugh.
“So, is that a yes?” I asked quickly, immediately regretting it.