by Amy Brent
I swiveled my hips, feeling my juices dripping onto his skin. My clit was being teased by his body. Slowly massaged as his cock throbbed against my walls. His fingers curled into my hands, struggling not to break free as he gave me what I wanted. Control. Power. Defiance over him and what he stood for in my life.
I reared up on my knees and came crashing down into his lap. My lips swallowed his groans as his body bucked against mine. I released his hands and held his hips to the couch, but he tried to fight me. He tried to wrap his arms around me and get me down onto the couch, but that wasn’t happening today.
Not now.
Not this second.
I fought to get his hands off me. I bounced on his lap as I growled at him. I laced our fingers together again and pinned our hands to his chest, then slammed myself down again onto his dick. His head rolled back and his legs parted. I pushed his hands back into the couch cushions as my lips fell to his neck. I bit at him. Gnawed at him. Pulled luscious welts and bruises up on his skin as his chest panted for air.
I rode his cock, feeling my juices gathering against his skin. I felt his body cave to me. I felt him relax against the couch as my pussy slid up and down his girth. I could feel the room spinning. I could feel my head racing. I could feel his cock pulsing and throbbing. Twitching, trying to seek relief. I ground down into his hips one last time, raking my clit along his rough curls as our teeth began to clatter.
Then I popped. Like a rubber band pulled in too many directions or a seatbelt strained to its maximum. My pussy clamped down around Chris’ dick, sucking him dry as I swallowed his groans.
My mind was numb. As my body shook around him and his cock poured into me, my mind stopped racing. My chest finally released its panic and my body finally relaxed. I felt like I had broken from the chains of my bondage as my grip on Chris’ hands relaxed. I collapsed into him, pressing deeply into the crook of his neck as his body jolted underneath me.
He filled me with so much cum it was still shooting out with every throb of his cock.
The two of us sat there, his cock sheathed in my warmth. I dropped his hands and let my arms dangle at my sides, my body completely spent. I felt his strong grasp drape around my back, pulling me into him as we fell to the couch.
I spent the rest of Chris’ lunch break looking into his eyes. Neither of us saying a word as we came to terms with what had happened.
Justin knew about us.
My brother knew I had been fucking his best friend.
Chapter 20
Christopher
I took the rest of the day off work and stuck by Jessi’s side. I helped her with Caleb and danced around their routine, hoping to pick up a few tricks I could use to help her. She was clearly still rattled about the fight with her brother, and I didn’t want to push things.
But I did want to know how it all came out.
“Jess, could we talk?” I asked.
I watched her tense as she laid Caleb down in his crib.
“Can this wait?” she asked. “No offense, but that is what my brother said this morning.”
“All I want to talk about is that. What exactly happened this morning?”
“Let me get Caleb to sleep and we can talk,” she said.
I walked out into her living room and sat on the couch. The couch that still smelled like the two of us. I closed my eyes and reminisced, smiling at how she took control. That was a new side of her. Something I’d never seen in her before. She was always so submissive in bed. My sweet girl who always gave in. But there was more behind what happened this afternoon than her trying something different.
There was almost a need behind it.
And I wanted to know why she felt like she needed control.
“Okay,” Jessi said with a sigh. “Caleb’s asleep. What’s up?”
“You never talked me through what happened this morning,” I said. “We sort of—got distracted.”
“Did you like it?” she asked, with a grin.
“Not the point here, but yes. Jess, what happened with you and your brother?”
“He came over here all hotheaded and asking about us. He kept railroading me and started yelling, and it just—came out.”
“What made him suspect us?” I asked. “No offense, but what happened between us was over two years ago. I was more concerned about him finding out what we’re doing now.”
“So you don’t ever plan on telling anyone about us?” she asked.
“Not the point, Jess. You know how your brother gets. What tipped him off to something that happened two years ago?”
“He said he kept thinking about how distraught I was after you left.”
“What?” I asked.
“Yeah. I don’t know what made him start thinking about it. He was too busy backing me into a corner to say anything else. All he kept saying was the pieces made sense and that I was too distraught over his best friend disappearing.”
“What did you say?” I asked.
“I told him that he was messed up over it too, but that didn’t mean anything. All it meant was that I cared like he did. He kept asking me how much did I care and why I cared and all these stupid questions. He kept getting louder and louder, and Caleb was eating in his high chair and finally it—came out. Just—bam. Right there. On the porch.”
I narrowed my eyes at her as my mind began to turn. I felt like she was hiding something from me. Lying, like she was about Caleb. She was making a habit of this, and if there was one thing I wouldn’t stand for, it was lying. Doing what she was doing in some vain attempt to protect Caleb was one thing, but this had to do with me. Justin and I’s friendship. Jessi’s and I’s relationship. I was directly involved in this one, and she was still lying.
There was no way I was going to tolerate that. Not in any relationship. Platonic or otherwise.
“I know you’re lying to me,” I said.
“I’m not lying to you,” Jessi said. “That’s what happened.”
“You’re holding something back though. There’s something you’re not telling me. I know you, but I know Justin, too. That man hardly ever dwells on the past. It’s one of his annoying little traits. He wouldn’t all of a sudden start dwelling on it if he didn’t have a good reason. And you and me screwing around isn’t one of those reasons.”
“You don’t think my brother would care about us fucking, Chris?” she asked.
“Then what prompted him to start thinking about it?” I asked.
“I don’t know! He wouldn’t tell me!”
I heard Caleb’s cries come from his room and Jessi grimaced. She shot up from the couch and I caught her wrist before I stood slowly. She wrenched away from my grasp and strode to the hallway, heading straight for his room.
“That the story you’re sticking with?” I asked.
“My son is crying. Whatever perceived slight you think I’m dealing against you is going to have to wait,” she said.
She stomped down the hallway and I gathered my things. After taking off work and making sure she and Caleb were all right, this was the thanks I got. Lying. A bunch of fucking lies and secrets still untold. I grabbed my wallet and my keys and headed out the door, not bothering to say goodbye.
I had a feeling she wanted me to leave anyway.
Still, I was shaking with anger as I made my way home. I was white-knuckling the steering wheel and grinding my teeth. Why the hell was she still keeping secrets from me? Had I not shown her that I wanted to help her? That I wanted to stick around no matter who the fucking father of her kid was? I sped up as I drove and skidded into the driveway of my beachfront condo, but I recognized a car that was sitting there.
Fuck. Justin was here.
“You,” he said.
I got out of my car as I watched Justin fly down the stairs.
“I need to talk to you,” he said.
“Can it wait? Been a rough day,” I said.
“You fucked my sister.”
“Then I fucked over your sister, so
I’m pretty sure I don’t count anymore.”
Justin cocked his fist back and slugged me, landing a punch right against my jaw. I stumbled back into my car and he grabbed my shirt, pulling me close into his face.
“You’re a little piece of shit, you know that?” Justin asked.
“Says the brother who cornered his sister on her porch with her kid inside,” I said.
“You fucked her and left her. You left all of us. What the hell’s wrong with you?”
“Get the hell off me,” I said.
I shoved Justin away as people started to step out onto their porches.
“What the fuck gave you the right to screw my sister?” Justin asked.
“She did,” I said. “We had a consensual sexual relationship and I treated her with respect.”
“Until you up and abandoned her, you asshole,” he said.
“None of you know what I went through!” I said. “None of you understand what was at stake for me if I didn’t!”
“What? Some bullshit career where you get to dance and fuck around with beautiful women all damn day? I listened to my sister cry for weeks, wondering why the fuck she was so angry at you leaving. I sat against her bedroom door and tried to get her to talk to me while you were off screwing over other women like you screwed over her! I was the one left to clean up your fucking mess. We were the family you abandoned.”
“You’ve never been my family,” I said. “Your family keeps so many fucking secrets it’s hard to keep track.”
I could tell Justin wanted to say something, but he clenched his jaw to stop himself.
“Get the fuck off my property,” I said. “Before I call the cops.”
People were looking at us as Justin slammed into his car. He sped off down the road at lightning speed, screeching tires as he careened around the corner. I lifted my hand to my mouth to see if I was bleeding, and groaned when I saw that I was.
I needed to clean myself up and get some fucking sleep. Unlike a lot of these idiots, I had a fucking job to work in the morning.
Chapter 21
Jessi
“Hey there, girl. I’m glad you could come out tonight.”
“Me too, Megan. Me too.”
“I ordered you the usual, but it sounds like maybe it could have used another shot of tequila in it,” Megan said.
“Don’t worry. I’ll get it with the second drink,” I said.
“Yikes. A second drink? Doesn’t sound like you’re working right now.”
“Even if I was, I’d still need it,” I said.
“Uh-oh. What’s going on? Is something wrong with Caleb?”
“No, no. Caleb’s fine. He’s with his nanny right now. She’s great with him and he’s really taken a liking to her. I’m almost jealous.”
“You know that boy loves you more than anything in his world right now,” she said. “So what’s with the need for strong drinks tonight?”
“I got into a fight with Justin.”
“About what?”
“Something his girlfriend said to him.”
“Hold that thought a minute and slam on the breaks. Since when does Justin have a girlfriend?”
“We really need to get together more often,” I said.
“Or your life needs to stop being crazy. Back up. Who’s the girlfriend? Does your brother even know what that word means?”
“I think so? He seems to really like her, a sassy little redhead named Roxy.”
“You sure she’s not a stripper?”
“Don’t let him hear you say that,” I said with a grin. “No. She’s a paralegal at a law firm somewhere in L.A.”
“Okay. So—how did they meet?”
“Apparently Chris and Justin were getting drinks one night and she gave Chris her number.”
“So how did Justin end up with it?”
“Passed it off, they say.”
“Wait a second. Chris passed off a sassy redhead to your brother, and now Justin’s calling her his girlfriend?”
“It feels as weird as it sounds, I promise,” I said.
“So what did she say that made Justin upset with you?”
“He wanted me to come over and meet her, right? No big deal. Except he invited Chris, too. And I had Caleb with me.”
“Oh shit.”
“She took one look at Caleb and Chris together and asked Chris if he enjoyed being a father.”
“Oh fuck.”
“Yep. Then Justin comes knocking on my door a couple of days later talking about how he’s been talking with his girlfriend and how all the pieces fell into place. Why I was so distraught after Chris left and how close Chris and I had gotten in those last couple months before he disappeared.”
“Oh hell,” Megan said. “So Justin knew?”
“Not about Caleb, yet, but then he was yelling at me on my damn porch with Caleb right there in the kitchen. So I had to give him something.”
“What did you tell him?”
“That Chris and I had a relationship before he disappeared off the face of the planet.”
“But you still haven’t told Chris about Caleb.”
“Did you not hear me?” I asked. “Justin knows.”
“I got that. But that isn’t the big thing here. You’ve got too many plates in the air and people are getting suspicious. You have to tell Chris he’s the father, Jessi.”
“I get that. I do. You act like I don’t get it, but I really do. But it’s easier said than done.”
“No, it’s not. You call him up, he comes over, and you say, ‘Hey, you know how this kid looks like you? Well, surprise—he’s yours.’ Simple, right?”
“You’re not seriously suggesting I do it like that, right?” I asked.
“Stop deflecting. This is getting serious, Jessi.”
“You think I don’t know that? Why the hell do you think I’m wanting strong drinks tonight?”
“Good thing you don’t breastfeed,” she said.
“Justin is pissed.”
“Please tell me Chris at least knows about this.”
“He does. I called him right after it happened. He needed to know because Justin angry is never a good thing. His rage gets the best of him sometimes,” I said.
“Look, if you’re looking for sympathy I’m fresh out of it. I told you this would get worse, and now it is. As long as you keep this a secret, it’s going to continue to get worse for everyone involved, You, Chris, and Justin.”
“I get it,” I said flatly.
“And eventually, it’s going to backlash on Caleb.
“I won’t let that happen. No one is taking my son from me.”
“Who said anything about taking him from you? All I meant was that if you keep Caleb from his father for long enough, he’s going to resent you for it. Wait, what? Is that what you’re scared of?”
“What?” I asked.
“Are you scared Chris is going to take Caleb from you? Why the hell would he do that?”
“I don’t know, Megan. Why the hell did he disappear into thin air?” I asked.
“Not the same thing. Not by a longshot,” she said.
“Megan, I need you to understand that I hear you.”
“But you’re not understanding me. Because if you understood the gravity of this situation, you wouldn’t be sitting here with me. You’d be sitting here with Chris.”
I knew she was right. Clearly this was getting out of hand. Emotions were running away with people and secrets were coming out that never needed to see the light of day. Fucking Roxy and her big ass mouth. But Megan was talking as if I could sit Chris down, blurt it out, then live happily ever after as one big happy family.
But that wasn’t how things like this worked.
It never was.
“Have an honest moment with me, Jessi,” Megan said. “What’s keeping you from telling Chris about Caleb?”
I couldn’t tell her what was going on. Not after the way she had unloaded on me. I couldn’t tell her that the reason a
ll of this was happening was because I meant to break Chris’s heart but was getting too caught up in things. I couldn’t tell her that I wanted to hurt him the way he hurt me, before kicking him out of our lives forever.
She’d think I was crazy.
Maybe I was.
“I told you. Because I’m scared he’ll take Caleb from me,” I said.
“No. No way. I know you better than that. Come on, spill it. What’s really going on?” Megan asked.
“Megan—”
“Let someone in, Jessi. You’ve been doing this by yourself for so long. Your parents reamed you when you got pregnant and you told them you didn’t know who the father was. Your mother was ready to kick you out, Jes. Stop making yourself a martyr. Talk to me. I’m not here to judge you.”
“You did earlier.”
“No, I told you the truth. I didn’t judge you for it. I don’t have to choose sides to care about what happens to you through all this. I am the godmother of your child, which means I look out for his best interest, and yours. And none of this deception is helping anyone.”
“Thanks for the concern, but I’ve got it,” I said.
“Just so I’m clearly on the record with this—no, you don’t. Not even close. But I can’t make you do anything, and it looks like you’re gonna have to learn this the hard way by yourself.”
“Anything else you wanna get on the record?” I asked.
“Yeah, actually. There is. I think the reason you’re back-stepping on this is because Chris came barreling back into your life and you figured out you still like him.”
“What?” I asked.
“Yep. I think when you boil it all down, strip away all the fat and gristle, and set aside the drama, all of this is because you still enjoy his presence and you can’t admit it to yourself because he hurt you so badly. Take that for what it’s worth.”
I had drained my first drink in five gulps before I ordered another one. A mango margarita on the rocks with an extra shot of tequila. I closed my eyes and allowed the alcoholic mango taste to take me under as Megan’s words rattled around in my head.
She was right.
But I wasn’t ready to admit that she was right. The repercussions of still enjoying a guy like Chris were—too broad. Too varied. I had a son to protect. To take care of and make sure he was okay. If any man was going to come into my life, it had to be a man worthy of being his father. Even if that man wasn’t his biological father. Caleb deserved a good life, and my history with Chris was anything but good. It didn’t matter how the man made me feel in bed and it didn’t matter how well the man could kiss.