by Amy Brent
“Because you feel it too, Jessi. You feel that connection between us. That connection that’s always been there.”
I reached out for her hand as tears welled in her eyes.
“Please stop this,” she said, breathlessly.
“No,” I said. “I won’t. I’ve lived my whole life underneath the threat and dictation of others. And while intellectually you think this is the right thing to do, I know you don’t feel that way. Not in your heart.”
“What’s the difference?” she asked as she turned to me. “What’s the point?”
“The point is you deserve to be happy, and the difference is that one is right and the other is wrong.”
“And who are you to dictate which one’s which?”
“Answer one question.”
“What?” she asked.
“Why are you crying then?”
I watched her swallow thickly as a tear rushed down her cheek. I let go of her hand and reached my thumb up to catch it, watching it spill into the cracks of my skin. She leaned into my touch, no longer holding back what I knew she desperately wanted. I cupped her cheek and guided her face to mine, allowing my lips to hover over hers.
“Don’t push me away, Jessi. Because I won’t be so easily moved this time.”
I pressed my lips to hers and she opened herself to me. Our tongues collided like licks of fire as my arms wrapped around her body. I pulled her into my lap as our teeth clattered together, my hands squeezing her thighs. I bunched up her skirt to her hips as her hands flew to my hair, her pussy radiating a heat I’d come to associate with her.
Kissing down her cheek, I caught her other tears before grazing my teeth along her neck. My hands rushed underneath her skirt, massaging her as she moaned into my ear. Her hands rubbed my shoulders, her nails racing down the fabric of my shirt. I shivered at her touch. At the way her nails curled into my skin as my hands cupped her ass cheeks.
I rolled her body into mine as my cock pressed thickly against her body. I worked my pants over my hips and allowed my dick to spring free, dripping with a want to be nestled inside of her. I moved her wet panties off to the side and teased her entrance, slicking my cock with her wetness as she bit playfully into my neck.
“Fuck, Jessi,” I said with a whisper. “So warm.”
She rolled her hips into me and captured my cock with her pussy lips. Inch by inch I slid into her, her body shaking as she adjusted to me. That never got old. I never got used to it. The way her pussy would mold back to its virginal state every single time. It was like taking her for the first time. How tight she was and how much she dripped onto my skin. The way her arousal coated my balls and the way her thighs trembled against me. It reminded me of the night I took her virginity. The night she moaned my name in my ear and told me I was the only man for her.
The night I bristled at the touch of a woman and shivered at her breath along the shell of my ear.
I gripped tightly onto her luscious ass and pulled her against me. I thrusted into her, parting her walls and feeling them throb around me. She ripped my shirt over my head before her hands came back down and I could feel her taking me in. Memorizing the way my muscles laid over my body. Her fingertips traced the divots and peaks as her lips peppered my skin in kisses. I cloaked her back with my arms, pulling her body deeply into mine so I could take her all in again.
The scent of her hair. The smell of her arousal. The heat of the moment.
Her hands curled into the couch cushion behind me and she slammed down onto my hips. Fuck, she always knew how to ride my cock. Just how I like it. Just like I taught her. I throbbed against her walls as her clit raked against my skin. I could feel her legs jolting with every thrust I delivered to her body. Her tits jumped in my face as my hands ran up her back, taking in the softness of her pliable skin and the way she molded to my body.
“Chris. Yes. I’m so close. Don’t stop… Please. Don’t—right there. Yes.. Right there…Right there.”
“Come on, sweet girl. Cum for me. Cum around that cock like you always do so well.”
She whimpered into my skin as her body started to grow taut. My head was spinning as stars began to burst in my vision. My balls tucked up into my body so tight I thought they’d empty out into my stomach. My toes curled into the floor as my lips found hers, sucking on her lower lip as she groaned out into the room.
Then, her body started to shake.
Shake and contract and collapse into mine.
“Christopher. Yes. Oh my gosh. Oh. Yes. Yeah.”
Her pussy sucked my cock all the way into her body. I exploded inside of her, pouring myself against her walls. Pump after pump of hot cum shot from my dick, painting her walls until our combined juices were shooting from between her legs. My entire body locked up as my legs tensed and contracted. My grip around her tightened, pulling her so tightly she was struggling to breath. Her nails curled into my body and her lips found my shoulder. Nipping and kissing and sucking as the two of us shook against the other.
It was hard for me to catch my breath once my body unlocked.
We stayed there, my cock relaxing against her walls. She made no move to get up and I didn’t force her to move. I massaged her back as she kept sighing into me, releasing the tension from her day as her emotions flooded her again. I felt her shoulders beginning to shake as a wetness dripped onto my skin.
I pulled my cock from between her legs as my hands began to rub her back.
“It’s going to be okay, Jessi. Your father’s going to be all right.”
Her sobs were audible. Like nails on a chalkboard against my eardrums. Hearing her so distraught and full of pain made my heart rip into shreds. I wanted to take all of this away from her. I wanted to shoulder the pain she was experiencing onto my own body so she wouldn’t have to deal with it. I kissed her cheeks and her neck. I massaged her back and her thighs. I pulled her as close to me as she would let me get her and offered my neck for her to cry into.
Anything I could do to be there for her.
Anything I could do to get her to calm down.
Chapter 29
Jessi
I left straight from my latest photo shoot and headed to the hospital. My father wasn’t expected to be released for another few days and I wanted to give my mom a break. She had packed a bag and had been staying by my father’s side, but she wasn’t taking care of herself in the process. She wasn’t showering or eating well. She was constantly hounding Dad and causing him more stress than relief. I made my way for the hospital and parked my car, then took a moment to breathe.
My father was going to be okay.
I had to keep telling myself that.
Walking into the room, I found my father sleeping. Mom was hunched over on his bed, her cheek pressed against his hand. My heart ached for the two of them. For the pain my father was in and the fear my mother was experiencing. He was stabilized, but also on oxygen. It was helping to reduce his stress levels until he could heal from his bypass surgery.
I knew my visit would have to be short so he could stay rested and I understood. I just hoped my mother would take the time to get herself a little shower in the process.
“That my princess?”
My mother’s head shot up from the bed as I smiled from the doorway.
“Hey, Daddy. How are you feeling today?”
“Like I could go for a Big Mac. They aren’t hardly feeding me anything in here,” he said.
“Marcus, that isn’t funny,” my mother said.
“Mom. Why don’t you go clean yourself up? I’ll sit here with Dad until you’re done,” I said.
“Yes, sweetheart. Go brush those teeth. It’s ruining my appetite,” my father said, with a grin.
“If you weren’t recuperating from surgery, you’d be in for it,” my mother said.
“Love you too, sweetheart. Go clean yourself up. Jessi can look after me.”
I reached out for my father’s hand as my mother made her way into the bathroom. I brought
my father’s hand to my lips for a kiss and he smiled weakly at me. I tried to hold back my tears as I looked into his eyes. The eyes of the man I’d almost lost a couple days ago.
“You can’t scare me like that, Daddy. Okay?” I asked.
“Ah, it was just a small attack,” he said.
“A double-bypass surgery isn’t anything small. And you know you can’t eat Big Macs anymore.”
“I know, I know. My eating habits have to change. But can’t I eat a steak or something? You can cook that on a nonstick pan without all the butter and oil.”
“They making you eat salads?” I asked.
“Worse. Healthy shakes. I still don’t know how you drink those in the mornings.”
“You’ll get used to them. As your body adjusts to your new diet, you can add some cool things. Like fruits and nuts. Maybe some chia seeds.”
“A snickers bar.”
“Daddy,” I said with a giggle.
“Come here, princess.”
I leaned up to hug my father as a tear leaked down my cheek. I drew in a shaky breath and he held me even closer. I couldn’t imagine my life without my father in it. Despite the fighting we had done when I told my family I was pregnant, he was everything to me. The family provider and the one we always went to for guidance. My fierce protector and my greatest champion when it came to my career. Always willing to help someone out and never afraid to teach someone a lesson they needed to learn.
He was a good man.
A man that couldn’t be replaced.
“I know I can’t stay long,” I said. “But I wanted to come by and see you after my shoot this morning.”
“How’d it go?” he asked, as he released me.
“It went well. You’re looking at the new spokeswoman for Curvy Leggings.”
“That’s fantastic, honey. I take it their product is good?” he asked.
“Very good. I’ve already got four pairs in my stash and I’m ready to add more as their new prints come out.”
“My beautiful princess. I’m so proud of you,” my father said.
When my mother came out of the bathroom, I kissed my father goodbye. Gathering my things, I walked out of the room, my eyes cast to the floor. I felt a heavy weight on my shoulders. My life was careening in so many directions. I had never felt this emotionally unstable before.
Well, except when Chris left.
Lost in my thoughts, I ran right into someone, and it almost took me to the floor. It shocked me out of my trance and I started scrambling to pick up my things. I felt someone’s hands come down onto my arms and I whipped my head up to see who it was.
It was Justin.
And he didn’t look upset.
“Could we go grab some dinner and talk?” he asked.
“Um—sure. Yeah. Aren’t you here to see Dad, though?” I asked.
“I can see him after dinner. I really wanna talk to you.”
I followed my brother to the hospital cafeteria. I picked out a few things and grabbed a very big drink. I was going to need a lot of caffeine to get through this conversation and I didn’t want to blow it.
As much as my brother had pissed me off, I missed him.
“Jessi, I wanna apologize. You know, for how I’ve been acting lately.”
I nodded my head as I brought the straw of my drink to my lips.
“If you wanna be with Chris, then I can’t stop you from doing that. After our last encounter, I saw how much he cared for you. How quickly he was willing to step up and make sure you were safe.”
“He’s always been that way,” I said. “He’s very kind, despite his outward demeanor.”
“I saw the two of you pulling up together and I was angry. But not because you two were together. You waited almost two years to tell me the two of you had been together but never mentioned that you two were striking things up again. It was yet another secret I had found out about you that involved my best friend and I lost my head.”
“What I do with Chris is none of your business,” I said.
“And I completely respect that. I also know I’ll need to support you guys, especially once Mom and Dad find out you two are together. But Jessi, you have to tell him he’s a dad. You’ve gotta tell him about Caleb.”
“I know. And I am willing to do that. I will soon, I promise,” I said.
“No. Not soon. Now.”
“You and Megan think it’s so simple, but it’s not,” I said. “You don’t just sit someone down and announce it out of thin air. This is a big deal. Justin, I never expected to see him again.”
“And I get that. I do. But even Roxy saw the similarities between Caleb and Chris. It’s only a matter of time before everyone else catches on. Including him. And that’s if he hasn’t already.”
“Wait, you think Chris knows? Justin, if you fucking told him—”
“I haven’t told him anything. But it’s time for you to grow a pair of cojones and woman up to this situation. I don’t know why you haven’t told him up until this point, and I don’t care. But if you want support in this situation, then you have to tell him and stop playing the victim.”
“He left me, Justin. Not the other way around.”
“Jessi, he left all of us. You weren’t the only one struck by his absence. That man’s my best fucking friend. We grew up down the damn road from each other. But you don’t see me lording it over his head.”
“He didn’t get you pregnant,” I said.
“It was your choice to sleep with him unprotected. You have to own up to that. But Chris is a good guy and he deserves to know he’s a father. Put the victim act away and talk to him, Jessi.”
“I have no idea what Chris and I are doing right now. I don’t know if we’re in a relationship or fooling around. I have no idea if he’s going to stay or leave out of the blue next week. I don’t know because I don’t trust him.”
“I don’t think that’s it. I don’t know what’s it, but it’s not that,” he said. “Jessi, him being a father would give him a reason to stay.”
“I don’t want him to stay for Caleb,” I said.
“Then what do you want?”
“I want him to stay for me.”
A silence fell over the conversation as I slumped back into my chair. Tears I didn’t know were brewing in my eyes slowly slid down my cheeks. I crossed my arms over my chest and felt an ache in the pit of my gut.
Then, I drew in a deep breath.
“I cried myself to sleep for weeks, Justin. Chris left, changed his number, and that was that. I thought I’d done something wrong. I thought he’d left because of me. And for weeks, I wanted him to come back for me like he promised.”
“What?” Justin asked.
“He promised me the world. That he would find his way in his career and take me with him. He promised me a future, then he left and never came back.”
I felt my brother’s stare on me as I closed my eyes.
“And when I found out I was pregnant, I dreamed for months that he would come back for me. I’d be barefoot and pregnant on the porch and he’d drive up and swagger out of the car and wrap me in his arms. Tell me it was gonna be okay. That he was back and successful and that he wasn’t going anywhere. And every night, I comforted myself with that dream. That one day we would be a family. That he would tell me he loved me like I knew deep down he did. But he never showed back up, Justin. I was left to battle you and Mom and Dad by myself. Alone. Then I gave birth to his twin and every time I looked at Caleb for the first two months of his life, I cried. That man robbed me of the beauty of my pregnancy and the happiness of my son’s first two months of life. So forgive me if I’m still not fucking over it.”
I was so confused. I was the one who was supposed to be leading Chris on, and instead I was sitting in the same position I was in a year and half ago. Wondering where Chris and I stood and wondering if things would be okay. Wondering if he felt the same way I did and wondering if he had any idea how much he was hurting me. Everything was in
an uproar and nothing felt rooted to the ground. It was like I was floating through space, unable to breathe and aching with the lack of oxygen.
I felt someone’s arm slip around me and I jumped before I found my brother’s eyes.
“Then start with that,” Justin said. “When you talk with Chris, and it needs to be soon, start with that. Start with the truth, then work your way around things from there. It’s all you can do. But there’s a good chance he’s got no idea how you feel right now. He’s a guy, after all. We only know and understand so much.”
“He’s going to hate me,” I said.
“Maybe so. But he won’t hate that little boy. He’ll kill himself trying to make sure Caleb’s okay. And you need to give him that chance.”
I sighed as I leaned into my brother, allowing the tears to fall on his shirt. I knew he was right. I knew they were all right. I had to sit down and talk with Chris. Maybe if I was honest with him, then he would be honest with me about why he left. Maybe it was time for me to set aside this childish plan of hurting him and own up to all of this like an adult.
“Okay,” I said. “I’ll talk to him soon.”
“Promise me.”
“I promise, Justin. I’ll talk to Chris soon. About everything.”
“Good,” he said. “Because the both of you deserve closure. It’s what the two of you will need if you guys really wanna work on things.”
I leaned heavier into my brother’s embrace. It had been a long time since he had comforted me like this. I missed this closeness with him. I missed the closeness with my family. Things had become so tense ever since having Caleb and I wanted us all to get back on track.
But that meant talking with Chris.
I couldn’t get anything back on track until I talked with the father of my child.
Chapter 30
Christopher
I was sick of waiting and sick of fighting, but I knew I had to be patient. With Marcus having a heart attack I knew she would be back and forth between her photoshoots and the hospital. But I wanted to figure out what was going on with Jessi and I and what we were becoming. And I didn’t think that was too much to ask. I wanted to know what the big secret was. Why my best friend was willing to beat my ass over it. I waited for her phone call and it never came, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to get any decent work done on this damn television show until I saw her.