by Amy Brent
I looked at it again as if it could sense my needs. “Just give me an answer as to why my ridiculously paid nanny isn’t here already like she goddamn well should be, beaming a huge smile and letting me go manage the company that hired me to be the CEO at age twenty-nine. Christ, I haven’t got time for this BS. I need to be at work by eight thirty, goddammit!”
I watched as Miss Six came in to greet me again. “Dada, I put the curly wurly on ready to do my hair. It’s nearly time to do it. This is your warning so I don’t have to give you a timeout for being late. And Clara said she needs curls too.”
I smiled, glad she hadn’t heard my rant. “Be there in a teeny, tiny minute, cutie pie.”
She looked at me and stomped her foot in protest. “Don’t call me that, Dada, I’m a big girl now, silly!”
I watched her skip back to her room as I dialed Bronwyn. I liked to call people by their complete first name when I was pissed at them. It rang out again, going to voice mail, and I realized I was up shit creek without a paddle. I dialed the office and that rang out too. Shit!
“Dada!” said Alexis in her high-pitched squeal.
“Coming, squirrel.”
I walked into her room. Clara was on the bed wearing her full-time smile with her stringy orange hair ready to be pretend curled. This would be fun, beautifying a ragdoll while Mr. Chan was on his way to the office from his flight from Shanghai.
“Shit,” I muttered.
“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that Dada naughty mouth.”
“Oh, yes, thank you. Sometimes, I accidentally let my mouth say a naughty word. I don’t think Clara heard, though, do you?” I whispered, hoping I wasn’t going to be in real ragdoll trouble.
“Ah-ha, she absolutely did! And now she isn’t getting curls done by you. She doesn’t like you until later on. But I do. I forgive you, Dada. Mama in heaven forgives you too.”
I tried not to let tears well up in my eyes. My wife would have been so proud of her. Alexis had her mother’s long, raven hair. I missed her mother terribly, and it was painful when I saw her in Alexis.
I began the curls, accepting that I was going to have to get Rhonda to reschedule Mr. Chan until tomorrow. I’d have to send him a nice gift basket and a spa at Cerro’s to keep him happy for the time being.
God, I could have murdered Bron. How was this even possible? I’d gone through what was supposed to be the top fucking agency for nannies, and I’d paid top dollar to get someone honest, reliable, and on time. It was just bullshit. Penny had been better. I just couldn’t keep changing nannies. Alexis needed someone she could trust.
“That’s enough curls, Dada. I don’t want to look like Shirley Temple.”
I laughed at her words. “Shirley Temple is from a long time ago. Who told you about her?”
“Penny! She knows about everythink.”
“Everything, you mean.”
“No, everythink.”
“Okay, well, I think you need to pick out your clothes now. You have eighteen minutes to get ready.”
“Okay. Clara is still mad at you, but she’ll help me.”
I walked out of the bedroom, smiling at Alexis’s cute, made-up word. Then my cell rang, and I ran to pick it up. “God, Bron, finally. Where the heck are you?” I refrained from using other words, mostly because Alexis might’ve heard them.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Jacobs, but I need to sort things out right now.”
I ignored her words. “When can you get here?”
“I can’t. I’m out of state, not in Manhattan. I’m desperately sorry.”
“As in on vacation?” My heart sank to the depths of my stomach.
“No. I’ve flown to Seattle to be with my mom. She’s got some health issues right now.” I heard a sigh. “It’s not great news.”
I bit down hard on my anger, frustrated by her words. Why couldn’t she have told me yesterday? But I held my tongue because I wasn’t totally heartless. “I’m extremely sorry to hear that, Bron. Alexis will be devastated, as am I.”
“I’ll talk to her if you need me to.”
“Yes. You can ring her tonight at seven. Right now, though, I’ve got a client and a business to sort out, not to mention a six-year-old who’s standing and tapping her foot at me as we speak. I think she’s only shy with people except you and me.”
“Yes, and again, I’m truly sorry. I’ll call on the dot at seven.”
“Thanks, Bron. Talk then.”
Alexis looked up at me. “So, is Bron late for me today, Dada?”
“No, honey. She had to go see her mama.”
“Okay! How many minutes left until we go in Sammy, the SUV?”
“Six!”
“But that’s my age.” Her smile lit up her whole face as she said the words, making my heart skip a beat, just like it always did.
“Go and brush your teeth with Clara. I’ll put on my T-shirt, and we’ll go and see Linda at kindergarten.”
“Kay!” She whooshed down the hallway as she spoke to Clara, something about “swearing” and it being “not good.”
I dialed Rhonda. “Hey. I need you to reschedule Chan for tomorrow with Derringer. Send him a huge basket and get him into Cerro’s for a half day as well. Apologize profusely and get Derringer on it. I had my nanny up and leave the state.”
“No problem, Mr. Jacobs. Should I reschedule Clark for then too?”
“Yeah, I guess. No, actually. He can get pushed back until later in the week. I don’t think he’ll commit until Chan does anyway.” My breathing dropped back to nearly normal. I didn’t like it when things moved out of my control.
“Yes, sir. I’ll get it sorted.”
“Thanks, Rhonda. Make sure Derringer is on it,” I said, control of the situation now out of my capable hands once again. Shit. He’d better not fuck it up.
“Will do.”
***
The ride to kindergarten had been enjoyable, with Alexis giving me the low-down on all of Clara’s thoughts. The ragdoll had been her best friend since Alice had died. She’d had a hard time opening up to other people lately, except for me and Bron. It had taken Lindy, her kindergarten teacher, lots of work to help her mix with the other children. She definitely wasn’t shy with me or Clara, but she didn’t take to just anyone, and that was why I needed to stay single—at least until the right one for Alexis came along.
God, I missed her mother. Alice had been the only one who would ever be right for Alexis, and she had also been my rock. She had always backed me 100 percent.
I was the best of the best at Ludo Holdings Incorporated, the internationally renowned Fortune 500 tech company I managed. It had been a dream of mine to run a billion-dollar company, but it had seemed like a pie-in-the-sky thing back in college. I had done everything I could to make myself stand out from the other men, and I’d sealed the deal by working my ass off and being better than the competition. My grades had been exceptional, and I’d made sure I was always groomed like a supermodel, wearing the best Armani suits and “thinking rich” like they suggested in so many titles set to groom real billionaire entrepreneurs. Alice had believed I could do it, even when the competition had been fiercer than fierce. It would be four years in June since I’d lost her.
As I pulled into the driveway, I thought about Mr. Chan. He’d be in the spa right now, hopefully thinking what a wonderful gift it was as opposed to thinking “that Jacobs guy is a lazy prick.” That was what I’d be thinking if I were him.
Shit, Bron, you really did this at the worst time.
I needed to find someone Alexis would take to like she had Bron. To do that, Alexis would need to actually meet the candidates.
I walked into the apartment and opened my laptop. The elite nanny site was still in my browser bar. I’d saved it when Penny, the nanny before Bron, had left. All I needed now was to find someone “magical” who didn’t mind pretend-curling Clara’s hair or Alexis’s hair. I needed that someone with a great imagination who absolutely loved kids, my kid—someon
e Alexis would truly love spending time with.
My mind wandered back to the last time I’d done this. We’d had six nannies try out before Alexis had finally said yes to Bron. One had been “too tall” and another had been “too boring.” I would have loved to get into that brain of hers sometimes just to understand how it ticked. It was meticulous and fascinating, just like her mother’s. I already knew she didn’t like being around unhappy-looking women. That was the reason she loved Clara so much. “Clara’s always happy, even when she’s cross,” as Alexis would say.
I scrolled down. Samantha J.? Too tall. Daisy T.? Not happy enough. Penelope G? Hmm, she seemed all right at first glance, but at second glance, she might have been a little too boring for my girl. Okay, here we go: Jasmine R., Stella Y., and Karly L. I’d message them and see how that went. Hopefully, Alexis would pick one of them. Otherwise, Mr. Chan was going to be the most massaged and exfoliated man in Manhattan.
Fuck. Derringer better not fuck this up. Our big meeting was at the end of the week.
As I waited for replies, I thought about how long I’d been single. After four years, I missed the feeling of wanting someone, of being infatuated with them on a personal level. Like how I’d felt when I was with Alice. In the bedroom, I had liked to dominate her, and in the world, I had made sure she was safe. Except for that one night when she drove to see her friend, Tabitha.
Fuck. I would’ve given anything to erase that sorrowful night.
I shifted my thoughts back to now. It was the only way I could really cope properly. I watched as my coffee sent its steam into my nostrils, making me feel like I could get through again. I just needed to get through the moment of thinking about her.
Sometimes, coffee was my only real relief. I used it in the boardroom, when I woke up in the morning alone in my bed, and when I was tired but needed to get through something big at work. It was my only addiction apart from being an alpha male. When I was with someone, I liked to be in control, sexually speaking. I liked them to submit to me. In college, I’d had a few naive girls who hadn’t even realized they’d been being submissive due to their shyness. And fuck, it had been such a turn-on to be in control of them, every one of them.
When I met Alice, though, I knew she was the one as soon as her big doe eyes looked at me in that smitten way. She had never been with anyone except for “Mike, the dick,” a drop-kick jock from high school. So, bless her soul, she’d been easily submissive to me, and she had let me take her anytime, anywhere. In a heartbeat, she’d gotten breathless for me. I remembered the way I’d go down on her in a frenzy of need to watch her come for me. She had needed me to dominate her, and I’d needed to pleasure her way too much. She’d been my coffee back then.
If I ever did find another woman, she’d have to be my submissive like Alice had been. She’d be someone Alexis loved and someone I constantly craved to have, like a drug that got lost in your system and never ran out. Like the only thing you’d ever need to get you through the day, like rain on a winter afternoon or a beach sunset that set on the horizon. Or a cup of strong coffee that made your body want to be alive—the smell, the warmth, the addiction of it all.
The laptop pinged. Three messages popped up, one from each of the nannies I’d messaged. Jasmine R. was only available intermittently, so she was out. Then there was Karly L., who could meet tomorrow, and Stella Y., who was free to catch up at any time. Great, so now all I needed was for little Miss Six to approve of her favorite. Hopefully that would happen easily. Otherwise, Mr. Chan was going to need either strippers or hookers to keep him entertained. He was single and “free to mingle” as he had said on the Skype call from Shanghai. This could get freaking expensive. Good thing we had a client expenditure account to handle such situations.
“Alexis Jacobs, I need you to love one of these women so Dada can get back to managing his billion-dollar company,” I said in a semi-desperate prayer to my daughter’s subconscious mind. I hoped to God she heard me—or Buddha or the whole damn universe. Oh, what the hell? All of ’em!
Shit.
Chapter 2
Karly
“This isn’t too flashy, is it?” I asked Sarah, pulling out another potential interview getup. “Thanks again for helping with the nanny website thing. I’m so in trouble if I don’t get a job soon.”
The bed was covered in potential outfits. Choosing the right one that would look sophisticated but not too “office bossy” or “I-don’t-care casual” was a difficult role.
As I slithered out of my jogging bottoms, Sarah replied, “You’ll be fine. You’re a natural with kids. I don’t know why you never went to work with them earlier.”
I was sure Sarah only said the words to give me a confidence boost. I was happy she did, because I was shaking inside like a tree in a thunderstorm. “Did I thank you for everything?” I asked.
I slipped into my charcoal-gray pencil skirt and started to slide my arms into the sleeves of my white, well-pressed blouse—my lucky white blouse that had delicate flowers embroidered down either side of the buttons. It had landed me my previous job, the one I’d just been laid off from. Bankruptcy had affected the company, and bad management had seen the expenditure heavily outweigh the income. So, three hundred employees nationwide had lost their jobs seemingly overnight.
“If you’ve thanked me once, you’ve thanked me a thousand times. Now shut your mouth and finish getting ready!” Her face smooshed up in the weird way it always did when I got too sentimental. She hated it when I did that, and her face painted an obvious picture to reflect that.
I knew I ranted a bit too much. Nerves, probably. No, definitely. Interview nerves always made me chatter like false teeth in the cold.
“Sorry,” I replied, resisting the urge to thank her again for putting in a good word. Sarah had done so much to help, and—fingers crossed—I could treat her and show her how grateful I was soon, when I had more money. “I’m ready. What do you think?”
“Brilliant!”
***
I stepped onto the sidewalk and looked at the large stone steps I had to climb. I checked my heels and crossed my fingers that they wouldn’t break on me. Taking a deep breath, I exhaled, watching it filter out into the blustery chill wind whirling down the street. I pulled my collar up around my neck and grabbed hold of the stone handrail. Seven steps to the top, which just happened to be my lucky number. I hoped it was a sign. I took the elevator to the top floor after I made my way through the enormous, expensive-looking lobby.
The door to the penthouse was navy blue with a lion’s head knocker added just for show. It was both mystical and enchanting. After pushing my finger against the brass doorbell button, I waited—still shuddering from the cold outside that had blown right up my skirt—and entertained ideas about what kind of person had a lion’s head door knocker.
Before I could let my imagination grow larger, a man whipped the door open. Hot as hell. He had light brown hair and mesmerizing green eyes. I looked down next to him. He held a small girl’s hand. Obviously, she was his beautiful daughter, and she had cute little ragdoll hanging from her other hand.
Nerves kicked in. I said, “K-K-Karly.” Oh god! What a start. I swallowed and let the lump in my throat move further down into my chest. I didn’t usually get this nervous.
“I’m Damon, and this is Alexis, the lady of the house. You’d better come inside and warm up. It looks like it was mighty cold outside.”
I stepped inside, and he took my coat, hanging it in the closet under the large staircase.
“Hi. I’m Alexis,” the girl said, “and this is Clara, my doll. I’m six. I think you’re a good girl.”
I crouched as best as I could in my tight-fitting skirt and held out my hand to greet her. “I’m pleased to meet you both.”
Alexis shook Clara. “Come on, Clara, shake her hand. She’s being polite,” Alexis said. “Ah, okay! Clara says she likes you, but her arm hurts so she can’t shake your hand.”
I giggled as I
stood and straightened up my skirt. I flashed my eyes toward Damon. He was watching me run my hands over my curves. He grinned and showed me into their elegant living room.
I was surprised by a couple things. The article I’d read before about him had been misleading. He might have been the most eligible bachelor in the city, and from the size of his home and the look of him, it was easy to see why, but that was where the truth of the article ended. His photograph didn’t do him much justice, either. In the flesh, Damon was much better looking and very rugged.
“Have a seat,” he said as he gestured for me to sit on the couch.
That was the second thing I found surprising. I’d expected black leather and chrome, an almost clinical feel to his home instead of the natural colors and the soft, study-like feel of his living room. Soft brown furnishings with gold-edged cushions complimented the beige walls and dark, caramel-colored drapes. It wasn’t exactly a woman’s touch, but it was a far cry from being from the hand of an eligible bachelor. It was cozy, and that was highlighted by the real log fire. It had a fireguard in front, and it made me feel at home.
“Dada,” Alexis said. Damon leaned forward to hear her whisper. She cupped her hand against his ear and flashed her eyes at me before she spoke. “Clara and I like her, and you know Clara’s never wrong.”
I grinned and pretended I hadn’t heard what she’d said.
Damon gave a warm smile as he looked at his gorgeous daughter. “Okay. I’ll keep that in mind.”
“So then K-K-Karly,” he said as he chuckled, “what experience do you have?” He was trying to make me lighten up a bit.
I dragged my eyes from his biceps, which twitched as he clutched his hands together. “To be honest, the only experience I have is babysitting my cousins back home. I have quite a few cousins, though,” I answered. Damon’s expression change.
God, I’d already blown it. Great.
“Now you’ve surprised me. Alexis is normally quite reserved with strangers”—he put his hand up to block his mouth and lowered his voice—“and she never reveals that Clara has spoken to her.” Alexis, singing a song about sunshine, didn’t pick up on anything. “But with you, she seems totally at ease,” Damon continued.