by Ann B. Ross
I breathed out another long sigh. Now for the difficult ones.
Hazel Marie. The woman could use everything, so much so that it’d be hard to decide what she needed most. More body lotion? She’d be thrilled. Well, I gave her credit, she’d be thrilled with anything. Maybe body lotion plus a box of bath powder, just to show that I made more of an effort for her than for LuAnne, although I wasn’t sure that would be wise. Maybe the cosmetics counter would have a gift package that came free with purchase when I bought lotion for Binkie and LuAnne. They do that on occasion, you know.
That child. What in the world do you get a nine-year-old boy? A Monopoly set? No, that took a number of players, and I didn’t want to be roped in. Tinker toys? Absolutely not. Who wants those things scattered all over the living room floor? There were numerous things advertised on the television—action toys, electronic toys, and you-name-it toys. As far as I was concerned, though, none of them were >suitable. A gift for a child ought to be educational and have some lasting value. Well, it was beyond me.
No, it wasn’t. Forget toys. They weren’t worth the money it’d take to buy them. Nine times out of ten they’d fall apart before they were out of the box.
A book, maybe. Except I didn’t know what he liked to read. Something practical, then. I thought of pajamas, a sweater, socks, gloves, and on and on, until I began to realize that I was thinking of things that I would’ve given Wesley Lloyd.
That stopped me, so I folded the list and put it in my purse. I’d had enough of thinking about Christmas. As for the child, I’d just give his mother a check and ask her to buy something that he needed. She could put my name on it, and that would be that.
I closed my pocketbook with a snap, and said under my breath, “There, Lillian. I hope you’re satisfied.”
Chapter 24
Two days later I tapped on the open door of Hazel Marie’s room, the downstairs one that used to be a guest room no one ever used, and peeked around the jamb. “Hazel Marie?”
“Oh, wait!” she said, and I heard a great rustling of paper. “Just a minute, Miss Julia. Don’t come in yet, or yes, come on in but close your eyes.” She giggled, while I waited with some impatience. “Okay, you can look.”
I stepped into a room that might’ve been hit by a cyclone. Wrapping paper, ribbon, boxes, shopping bags, and bits of Scotch tape were all over the bed and the floor.
“I’m wrapping presents,” she said.
“So I see,” I said, surveying the damage. “I expect you’ve found that the wrappings can cost as much as the gifts, and sometimes more.”
“They sure can, but I’m being careful. I got all my wrapping supplies at Eckerd’s, so I didn’t spend all that much.” She quickly took an armload of boxes off the easy chair, and said, “Sit here, Miss Julia. Would you like me to wrap something for you? I can do all of yours, if you want me to.”
I sank into the chair and said, “No, I don’t have anything to wrap yet. And it won’t be much when I do. I declare, Hazel Marie, from the looks of this room, I’d say you’ve about bought out the town.”
“Oh,” she said, looking around as I had done. “I didn’t think I had, but I guess it looks like it. I tried to exercise some discretion, just like you told me, but, Miss Julia, I can’t tell you how much fun I’ve had, getting things for the people I love and not having to worry about paying for them.”
I almost rolled my eyes, disappointed but not at all surprised. That money was burning a hole in her pocket, just as I’d thought it would.
“Be that as it may,” I said, “I just came in to tell you that, as much as I hate doing it, I’ll be going out for lunch, so you and Little Lloyd and Lillian will have to manage alone for a couple of hours. I may do a little shopping while I’m out, too.”
“Oh, that’ll be so much fun. I’m glad you’re going out, and to tell you the truth, I’ve been worried that you haven’t had time to do any shopping. Tomorrow’s Christmas Eve and the last shopping day before Christmas.”
“Yes,” I sighed, “I know. It’ll probably be wall-to-wall shoppers today, too. I’ve never waited this long before, but I’ve had a lot on my mind this year.”
“Can I help you? I’ll be glad to do some of it for you.”
Lord, I thought, no way in this world would I give her an excuse to hit another department store, but I said, “No, thank you, I’ll manage.”
Her eyes sparkled as she said, “It has to be a secret, doesn’t it? It’s no fun if people know what they’re getting. Oh, Miss Julia, Christmas is the most fun in the world, and this one is the best ever.”
“Well, we’ll see.” I got to my feet, preparing to leave. “By the way, where is Little Lloyd? He’s been so quiet all day, it’s like he’s still in school.”
“He’s up in his room, working on something.” She cut her eyes at me, smiling slightly. “He’s got a secret project, and he’s taking real pains with it. He better finish it today, though, because I’m taking him tomorrow so he can do his Christmas shopping.”
I tried my best not to let my eyes roll back, but all I could think of was more money going out for little reason. Would the Christmas shopping frenzy never end?
“Well, I’ll leave you to it.” I started toward the door, then turned back. “I’m meeting Sam Murdoch for lunch, and . . .”
“Oh! Mr. Sam? Oh, Miss Julia, I’m so glad. He is just the nicest man, so kind and thoughtful. And he’s real handsome. For his age, I mean.” She looked at me, as something seemed to dawn in her widening eyes. “Oh, are you and him . . . I mean, are you two . . . ?”
“Whatever you’re trying to ask, Hazel Marie, the answer is no. I’ve known Sam Murdoch for years, and his wife was a friend of mine before she passed some years back. I’m sure he has some business to discuss, but I wouldn’t even do that if there was any way I could get out of it.” I stopped and pulled myself together. The idea of even suggesting something between Sam and me was beyond my comprehension. Believe me, I was not in the frame of mind to grapple with any more problems, least of all, that kind of problem. “Now, is there anything you want me to tell him? Or ask him? Anything you don’t understand about the trust fund?”
“No’m, he’s explained everything real well, already. But, Miss Julia, I think you and Mr. Sam would make a real nice couple, so you ought to think about it. I mean, he’s so good looking, and you’re a handsome woman. You’re just made for each other.”
I stopped in my tracks, absolutely stunned. Me? A handsome woman? I started to say something in return, but I couldn’t think of a thing.
“That reminds me, Hazel Marie,” I said, anxious to change the subject. “We need to make an appointment to have Little Lloyd’s eyes checked. Those glasses won’t stay up, and he needs new ones that fit.” I started out the door. “I’m going upstairs and put my feet up for a little while. And, well, I thank you for what you just said, but Sam Murdoch is not interested in me, nor I in him.”
To tell the truth, as I thought about this disturbing conversation up in my room, I’d never given much thought to Sam Murdoch. Other than, of course, the fact that he’d been Wesley Lloyd’s attorney and a member of our church and a distant friend who’d come to my rescue when I thought I’d been reduced to living on Social Security and food stamps.
But anything else? No. One thing was as sure as I was sitting there, I had no intention of putting myself under submission to another man as long as I lived.
Chapter 25
Not that Sam was interested in me either, and I could’ve switched Hazel Marie to within an inch of her life for putting the thought in my head. Of all the things I could do without, it was some foolish notion about romantic entanglements. I was long past such things, if I’d ever been there in the first place.
After a while, I laughed at the idea and got up to ready myself for a business lunch that wouldn’t come close to what Lillian would serve. Ordinarily, I would’ve insisted that Sam come here but, with two extra people in the house, I could understand
why he wanted to have a serious discussion in another place.
I put on my coat, gloves, and hat, then told Lillian where I’d be.
“Mr. Sam not coming to pick you up?” she asked. “It still pretty cold out there, an’ if he invite you, he ought to be givin’ you a ride.”
“He offered, Lillian,” I told her, somewhat vexed that I had to explain myself to everybody in the world. “But I prefer to walk. I’ll meet him at the tea shop. Then after lunch I’ll do a little shopping on Main Street.”
“Bout time,” she grumbled, turning back to the sink.
Sam was waiting inside the door when I got to the tea shop. He smiled as soon as I stepped in, and, I couldn’t help it, I smiled back. He was a handsome man, there was no doubt about that, and I wondered why it hadn’t occurred to me before. Actually, I was undone that it had occurred to me at all, but that’s what happens when someone puts an idea in your head.
As he took my coat, I couldn’t help but notice how tall he was, how thick and white his hair, how broad his shoulders, how capable his hands, how confidently he spoke to the waitress who led us to the table he’d reserved, how his hand felt on my back as we wended our way, how pleasantly he greeted other diners as we passed, how he held my chair and made sure I was comfortable, how pleasant his manner, and how his blue eyes shocked me when he smiled.
And how such unwanted and preposterous thoughts were cluttering up my mind.
I declare, I was so self-conscious to be sitting alone with and across from a man who was not my husband that I could hardly get my napkin unfolded. Shaky hands, you know. All my social confidence seemed to have drained away, and I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. That, unfortunately, caused me to glance around at the other diners, who were making it clear that they had an inordinate interest in us. I’d probably get a few phone calls later on, telling me that I’d been seen in the company of Sam Murdoch. As if I needed to be told what I was doing.
The waitress handed us menus and said, “May I take your drink orders?”
“Just water for me,” I replied, accustomed by Wesley Lloyd to putting nothing extra on the bill on the few occasions we had eaten out.
“Wouldn’t you like some tea, Julia?” Sam asked.
I shook my head. “Water’s fine.”
“Coffee?” he urged. “Wine? Come on, Julia, have a drink.”
“You know I don’t drink.”
“More’s the pity,” he said, with a teasing smile, then ordered coffee for himself.
This business meeting was hardly getting off to a felicitous start. Offering an alcoholic beverage to me, right there in front of God and everybody, took my breath away. It was a shock to me to learn that Sam tippled, having assumed that everybody I knew lived by the same rigid regimen that Wesley Lloyd had insisted on. Of course, Wesley Lloyd hadn’t followed it himself, so now I was having to adjust my thinking about everybody else.
“Now, Julia,” Sam said, after his coffee had come and we’d given our orders for lunch. “I want to know how you’re doing.”
“I’m doing fine. Thank you for asking.” I folded my hands in my lap and made sure my posture was correct. “Well, we might as well get to it, Sam. What did you want to discuss?”
“You.”
“Me?”
“Yes, I’ve been concerned about you, Julia. I know you’ve not had an easy time, and I’d like to help if I can.”
“That’s considerate of you, Sam, but I’m managing all right.” I fiddled with my fork, glanced up at him, then quickly down. “It’s just . . . well, there is one thing that worries me, and I don’t much know what to do about it.”
“Tell me.” And he looked so interested in what I had to say that I couldn’t take my eyes from his for the longest time.
Then I cleared my throat and went on. “It’s Hazel Marie, Sam. Wait, now, don’t get me wrong. She is just as easy to get along with as, well, as you are, but she doesn’t have any sense of the value of money. I declare, she’s throwing it away like it grew on trees. I’ve spoken to her about being frugal and careful in her management, but it goes in one ear and out the other. You need to talk to her, Sam. It’s your responsibility to preserve that trust fund for the child.”
Sam frowned. “What’s she doing? Giving it away? Buying things she doesn’t need?”
“That’s exactly it.” I leaned across the table, so I wouldn’t be overheard. “You should see the pile of stuff she’s bought for Christmas. She’s going to spoil that child until his character is ruined for good.”
“Julia, listen now,” Sam said, his kind face seeming to give my concerns the value they deserved. “What we have to realize is that Hazel Marie has never had any superfluous money in her life. Barely enough at times to cover the necessities. So, sure, she may go overboard a little while she’s learning to manage it.”
We were interrupted by the waitress, who set our plates before us. I hadn’t been sure that I could eat with Sam watching every move I made, but I was so intent on making sure he understood the problem that I didn’t give it another thought.
“I understand that, but when is she going to learn? And what if she runs through the fund before she does?”
“No,” Sam said with a smile. “She can’t touch the fund. Nobody can, except me and Lloyd when he reaches maturity. No, Julia, she is staying well within her monthly income. In fact, and this may make you feel better, she’s opened a savings account and is putting aside part of it. For a rainy day, she told me.”
“Well.” I was somewhat taken aback, both surprised and gratified that the woman had taken some of my advice to heart.
“Well,” I said again, then leaned toward him again. “If that’s the case, how can she afford to buy so much for Christmas?”
“As long as she’s not spending more than she’s getting, and I assure you she’s not, then I say let her enjoy it however she wants.”
Enjoy, I thought with some disdain. Money was not for enjoyment. It was for security in your old age and freedom from worry about paying your bills. And it was for making people do what they wouldn’t ordinarily do, which was to invite Hazel Marie to their social functions.
Now that was an eye-opening thought. Maybe having one’s way was the kind of enjoyment money bought. Then I put that thought away as unworthy of a practicing Christian.
“What’re you thinking about, Julia?” Sam asked, looking as if my thoughts were not only interesting, but valuable.
“Oh, it’s not important but . . . Well, let me tell you what I did, which, at the time, gave me a great deal of enjoyment.” Then I told him how I’d managed to introduce Hazel Marie to Abbotsville society.
Sam’s eyebrows shot straight up. “You did what?”
“I held their feet to the fire and, Sam, you should’ve seen the invitations come rolling in.” I smiled. “We were the most popular women in town.”
Sam gazed at me, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. “You amaze me, Julia. I didn’t know you had it in you.”
“There’s very little you know about me.”
“I certainly thought I did. We’ve known each other forever, seems like.” He laughed. “It’s just that I never thought you could be so, well, forceful.”
“Huh,” I said. “You haven’t seen anything yet. Now that I don’t have to answer to anybody but myself, I’m going to be as forceful as I want.”
“Good for you,” Sam said approvingly. “I always thought there was more to you than the dutiful wife everybody else saw.”
“You did?” It had never occurred to me that Sam gave me any thought at all, much less that he’d wondered what was below the surface.
Sam nodded, studying me with eyes filled with enough warmth to embarrass me.
“Well,” I said, as I fiddled with my fork. “I’m a little ashamed of myself now. I probably shouldn’t’ve done it, but I figured that if I had to put up with the Puckett woman, they had to, too.”
“Don’t worry about it. I happen to kno
w that most of those loans were made to people who’d gotten in over their heads from buying more than they could afford. So it serves them right. Besides, I like Hazel Marie. She’s a sweet, unspoiled young woman, and they’ll learn to appreciate her when they get to know her.”
He likes her? And she thinks he’s handsome. My Lord, I thought, I had personal knowledge that Hazel Marie was attracted to older men, as they were to her. Something heavy and overwhelmingly sad fell on my heart. I wanted to go home.
“Julia,” Sam said, and to my everlasting surprise he reached across the table and put his hand on mine. “Don’t worry about Hazel Marie. I’m watching out for her and the boy. It’s you I’m concerned about. I want you to get a little fun out of life. I know you haven’t had much before this, but now that you have the wherewithal, I want you to enjoy it. I’d like to see you kick up your heels a little, and I’m hoping you’ll let me do a little of that kicking with you.” He smiled at me, and did something between a rub and a pat, or maybe both, to my hand.
Fearing that someone would see, I slid my hand away from his and put it in my lap, trying to appear unruffled by his touch.
“Kick up my heels? With what? I have to be careful, Sam, and watch my pennies. Wesley Lloyd’s estate could run out, you know, and then where would I be?”
He threw back his head and laughed so that the people at the next table looked around at him. Then he lowered his voice and said, “Run out? Hasn’t Binkie shown you how much there is?”
“Well, yes, and I know it seems a lot, but you never know.”
“My goodness, woman,” he said, shaking his head. “You could spend a thousand dollars a day for the rest of your life, and still have plenty left over. And furthermore,” he said, shaking his finger at me in a nice way, “you need to start spending some of it.”