by M. Malone
I’d almost died tonight. Facing death brought a certain amount of clarity. Spending my entire life worried about rules and order hadn’t brought me the things that really mattered. Love. Trust. Safety.
Instead, the most chaotic relationship I’d ever had turned out to be the one thing that was holding me steady.
The sound of a throat clearing brought me back to reality. Oskar groaned. “Duty calls. I need to go.”
“Wait. There’s something I need to tell you. When I was looking through the slideshow for my presentation earlier, I noticed something weird about a few of the pictures. They were dated right before I was born but my mom wasn’t pregnant.”
Oskar looked wary. “Hailey, there are some things we need to talk about. But first, I have to ask, do you know who put those pictures in the slideshow?”
I thought about it. “I’m not sure. Whoever worked on this in marketing must have asked my dad for the photos. But Oskar, about the photos. Evan said that I’m adopted.”
Even though my stomach felt like it had dropped through a hole in the ground, I needed to say it aloud. Evan’s words had been rolling around the back of my mind this whole time.
To my surprise, Oskar didn’t look at all shocked. He took a deep breath. “We just recently found some medical records that indicate Miriam Livingston did not give birth to you. We were trying to confirm it before we said anything.”
I put a hand to my chest where my heart was suddenly racing. Maybe a small part of me actually had been holding out hope that Evan was wrong because the look on Oskar’s face hit me like a battering ram. It was true, I could tell by the carefully sympathetic look in his eyes. Looking at the pictures was one thing but hearing it spoken aloud made it real. Miriam may not have been the best mother, but I’d never doubted that she was mine. Now it felt like everything I thought I knew about myself was up in the air.
“Breathe, butterfly. That’s it.”
Oskar’s gentle hand on the side of my face brought me back to reality, and I sucked in a deep breath. The slightly woozy feeling receded, and his face came back into view.
“Sorry,” I croaked. “Please finish. I need to know.”
I could tell by the stiff set of his shoulders that he didn’t want to. Knowing Oskar, he wanted to throw me over his shoulders and hide me away from the world. But if we were going to figure things out, it would take both of us. Despite all the new information coming to light, I still had a lifetime of experience dealing with all of the key players.
“We think Evan might have seen those medical records at some point, too. If he doesn’t believe you’re really siblings, then that’s motive. He might be trying to get you out of the way so he can inherit everything.
It made logical sense. It hurt so much to admit, but now with the benefit of hindsight, I could see how several weird things Evan had said recently made perfect sense in light of recent revelations. What was it he’d said while holding that gun on me?
Funny you should mention us being family.
It had seemed so strange and out of context then, but now I wondered if this was what he’d been talking about. But there were still so many unanswered questions. How would Evan have come across Mom’s medical records? It wasn’t like they were just lying around. I was pretty sure Blake Security had done some hacking to get those, and my brother certainly wasn’t skilled enough to do that.
Unless he’d had help.
“I hear you and I admit it looks really bad. But promise me that you guys won’t just assume it must be Evan and not look any further. All we have are a bunch of assumptions at this point. We need to give him the benefit of the doubt.”
Oskar’s hand tightened on my waist. “Oh, butterfly.”
And I knew by the look on his face that there was more.
Oskar
Why did I have to be the one to tell her? Watching Hailey break down was dredging up emotions I’d thought long dead. She’d been stoic throughout, keeping her cool even after Rafe had brought her in. Most people would have been distraught after being held at gunpoint, but she’d kept it together.
Until she’d seen how it had affected me.
Hailey tried to project this perfect, collected, cold persona to the world, but she broke down at the first evidence that I was upset. My butterfly wasn’t nearly the cold robot she wanted to believe she was. She was warmth and light and love all buried beneath a diamond exoskeleton.
Now I had to be the one to chip away at that exterior again. First I’d had to tell her that her mother might not even be her mother. Now I’d have to break the fucked-up news that her brother had plenty of other reasons to want to take her out. About thirteen million of them to be exact.
“I wanted to tell you earlier, but Noah thought it was best to keep it under wraps until we’d investigated further. Evan is in debt. A lot of debt. With the wrong people.”
She blinked and then nodded. “It’s bad, huh?”
“Yeah, baby. I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. I just don’t know how we got here. Why wouldn’t he just ask Dad for the money? He knows the family would have paid it off.”
“I’m guessing it was pride. Like a lot of gambling addicts, he probably thought he could take care of it himself without having to reveal how much trouble he was in.”
She sniffled. “I’m sure that’s what it was. He always seemed so angry that I’m close with Dad. He said it was hard living in my perfect shadow.”
I tipped her chin toward me until she could no longer avoid my eyes. “This is not your fault, Hailey. Evan has a problem, and he needs help. But it’s not something that you could have prevented.”
“I guess we’ll never know, will we?”
This wasn’t getting us anywhere. A bath and then a good night of sleep was probably the best medicine for what ailed her right now. But I knew I was probably going to have a hard time convincing her of that.
“I think that’s enough for now.”
Hailey shook her head. “No. It’s not enough. I need to understand what’s going on.”
“You’ve done all you can for tonight. I promise that we’re going to do everything we can for your brother and investigate every lead. But my job is to take care of you. To protect you. And that’s what I’m going to do.”
She didn’t look impressed. “Even if that’s not what I want?”
It cut through me with all the precision of a knife. “Yes, even if it’s not what you want. The types of people your brother is involved with are dangerous. They wouldn’t think twice about using you to get to him. I won’t let that happen.”
“Fine. I guess you’d know more about this world than I would.” Hailey stood and stalked toward the back, where our room was.
I followed, trying to pretend her words didn’t bother me. It wasn’t as if I needed the reminder that we were from two different worlds. Every single day, I thought about the fact that Hailey could do so much better than me.
Why was it so different hearing it from her lips?
Once we were behind closed doors, Hailey ignored me as she got ready for bed. I averted my eyes as she stripped off the formal gown, throwing it on the floor before climbing into bed. She turned to face the wall, and I could tell by the stiff set of her shoulders that she was fighting tears.
Feeling like absolute shit, I tore off my dress shirt and stepped out of the tuxedo pants. I’d lost the jacket somewhere in all the frenzy, not that I cared. When was the next time I’d need a penguin suit anyway? The only reason I’d ever need one would be to accompany Hailey to her events, and considering the way things had gone tonight, that wouldn’t be happening anymore. Once it was confirmed that Evan was behind it all, I’d probably never see her again.
3
Oskar
My heart felt like cement as I pulled on a pair of sweatpants, leaving my chest bare. I sat down in the desk chair across the room.
After a few minutes, Hailey glanced over her shoulder. “You aren’t coming to b
ed?”
I shrugged. “Figured you didn’t want me to. Since I’m such a dirty low-life and all.”
As soon as the words were out, I cursed under my breath. I hadn’t intended to say that. Something about her brought all my emotions to the surface. My insecurities were impossible to hide when she looked at me with those vulnerable eyes.
Hailey pushed up on her arms and regarded me with incredulity. “Seriously? I never said anything like that.”
“You didn’t have to,” I mumbled.
She threw the covers off and swung her legs over the side of the bed. I tensed at the flash of golden-brown skin.
What? I was angry, but I was still human.
“I never insulted you. That was just a statement of fact. You know this world, and I don’t. Apparently, I don’t know anything. I’m just the stupid girl who thought she had a regular, although flawed, family. But no, I’m the girl with the lying parents and the homicidal brother!”
But the time she was done, she was almost yelling, and her cheeks were flushed red with exertion. She crossed her arms with a little huff that I found utterly charming.
“You’re beautiful, is what you are.”
She hung her head. “Don’t do that. It’s not fair to be all sweet and stuff when I’m freaking out.”
I laughed and then finally stepped forward to pull her into my arms. It had been torture not to touch her when everything inside of me was crying out to comfort her.
“Promise you won’t let go?” Her voice broke and cocooned her against my body. She practically climbed me like a tree as I pulled her into my lap. The way she trembled in my arms almost broke me.
Here I was, worried about my own shortcomings when Hailey had been dropped into the middle of a nightmare. Being shot at and scared for her life was bad enough, but she was also dealing with the bombshell news about her family and ancestry. What she needed right now was an anchor, someone to hold her steady when it felt like everything was falling apart.
If anyone had asked me what it meant to be married before that moment, I probably would have said some bullshit about a white dress and rings, but in an instant, the meaning crystallized and I understood why people still bothered with vows and promises of forever.
Because in the worst of times, when the chips were down and you had nothing left to hold on to, all you needed was one person that you could count on. It was humbling and terrifying, but with all my soul I wanted to be that person for Hailey.
“I know that everything seems crazy right now, but I’ve got you. Nothing is going to hurt you if I can help it.”
She squeezed me tighter. “Don’t let go, Oskar.”
I shifted slightly so I could lift her up and reposition us on the bed. After some maneuvering, I got us curled up together under the covers. Hailey’s hand came down to cover mine, intertwining our fingers.
A sense of peace stole over me. She suddenly turned to face me, so close that I could see the dried tear tracks on her cheeks and the brightness of the tears still in her eyes.
“I just want to forget, Oskar.”
If I had any doubts about what she meant, her hand rested lightly on my stomach right above the band of my sweatpants. Then she said the one thing I couldn’t ignore.
“Make love to me. Please”
Hailey
I could see the indecision in his face. Normally you’d need a crowbar to keep Oskar away from me, especially if I was wrapped around him in bed. But the events of tonight had shaken both of us to the core. Oskar was a protector through and through. The idea of me being in danger was no doubt messing with his mind.
But I needed to take the control back. I was so tired of everyone else steering my ship. After everything that happened, it was hard to know who to trust. My mother may not be my mother, my brother might be a killer, but Oskar was still as he’d always been, the one person I knew I could count on to make me feel safe. To make me feel sexy.
To make me feel loved.
“I love you,” I whispered, the power of saying it aloud flowing through me.
He stiffened but then his arm slid under my back, spearing through my hair.
“Hailey.”
It was just one word but the weight of it settled right in the pit of my stomach. Even though it hurt a little that he hadn’t said it back, I could hear his emotions in just that one little word. The way he said my name made me feel like I was precious and that was enough for now.
When he paused, I thought that he was going to deny me, but then his lips skated over the skin at my throat. I hummed in pleasure, allowing my head to fall back into the cradle of his palm. Right then, I let it all go, fully surrendering to the moment. With Oskar, I found something that I’d never had with anyone else. Complete and total safety and trust.
“You’ve had a rough night, baby. I should let you sleep.”
My hand trailed down his bare chest and then settled on the bulge in his sweatpants.
“This doesn’t feel like you want to let me sleep.”
His lips curved against my neck. It tickled a little and I squeezed him gently, happy with the resultant groan.
“No, I’m not going to let you sleep. Didn’t you get the memo? I’m not a good guy, and I’ve never claimed to be.”
There was something behind that statement, something dark and forlorn that made my heart clench. But before I could even think, Oskar shifted slightly until I was under him, and all my thoughts melted like butter in a hot skillet. That’s all it took with him, one shift of his hips, a whisper of breath against my ear, and I was jelly. I had no willpower around the man, and it should have appalled me but instead it made me ache.
“Take this off.” Oskar’s gruff voice registered one second before his hands were on the hem of my T-shirt, tugging at it.
With a laugh, I allowed him to raise it over my head, and before the shirt cleared the bed, his mouth was fastened to one of my breasts. All the stress and tension of the day disappeared as he tugged, licked and bit gently. My hands clutched at his shoulders and then ended up in his hair as I tried to keep up with the whirlwind of sensations. I took the opportunity to trace over the muscles that I always drooled over, digging my nails into his biceps as his mouth worked its way downward.
“Yes. Fuck yeah, get those nails in me.”
I shivered, unexpectedly turned on by the gruff command. If you’d asked me before Oskar whether I was into dirty talk, I would have said no. But there was something about the way he said things in that deep voice. It made me want to be wild and uninhibited with him. Like no matter what dirty, sexy thing we did together, it would never be wrong.
“Oskar!”
I cried out when he finally reached his destination, his huge shoulders settling between my thighs. While his tongue lashed, I clapped a hand over my mouth to keep from alerting the entire building that he was currently feasting on me like a starving man. I was still holding my mouth when the first orgasm rolled through me. Oskar’s fingers tightened around my thighs as I trembled, and he made satisfied groaning sounds, like I’d pleased him.
By the time I opened my eyes again, he was rolling a condom on and wearing a very confident smirk.
“You look happy with yourself,” I remarked, the scratchy sound of my voice only making his grin bigger.
“The girl of my dreams is in my bed and just came screaming like a siren. Hell yeah, I’m happy with myself. And I’m about to get happier.”
He lowered himself slowly, our eyes locked the whole time. Then he pushed in just a little, giving me time to adjust. My mouth fell open at the pressure, his size always an adjustment. Then I curled my legs around his waist, drawing him deeper. I could tell by the veins on his neck and face that it was taking some serious restraint for him to go slow.
And that wasn’t what I wanted.
“Don’t hold back, Oskar. I need this. I need you.”
He closed his eyes at my words, a visible tremble of need traveling through him. “I don’t want to hurt y
ou.”
“You won’t. I might be a little sore, but I can handle it. Just make me feel. Make me forget.”
I squeezed my internal muscles, pleased at the hoarse groan it wrung from his lips. When he opened his eyes, I knew I was going to get exactly what I’d asked for.
4
Hailey
No lie, I was definitely sore.
Whose fault is that?
Oskar had definitely been trying to take it a lot slower. But I’d been pissed, and then, well, hot. But even though I was sore, it was totally worth it.
As I slid out of the bed, he reached for me. “Where are you going?”
“I need a shower. I have to go to work.”
“Okay, we can shower together.”
I begged off. “Oh my God, I’m sore.”
His brows snapped down. “Damn it, you should have said something.”
“Last night I was busy enjoying myself. I didn’t think about the ramifications of your giant tree trunk.”
He grinned and winked at me.
I rolled my eyes. “Yes, you have a big dick, but you know this. Shower, okay?”
He nodded. “Just a shower, I promise.”
I laughed, even as I shook my head, because I knew he wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off of me. Most likely, he was just going to wash his two favorite parts. Well, three favorite parts. I would have the cleanest tits, anus, and vagina on the planet, before he was done.
I wasn’t wrong either. That quick shower I was supposed to take lasted 45 minutes. When we finally stepped out, we heard someone banging on the door. He grabbed a towel, only after I insisted, and jogged to open it. Whoever was on the other side told him, “You better come out here.”