by M. Malone
“You should be free. I don’t want to be the one to clip your wings.”
Soft lips brushed against my cheek. “Your kind of sweet when you’re drugged up, you know that?”
I tried to fight the current and open my eyes. If I could see her, then I could tell her to stop hitting my arm. But I couldn’t.
The next thing I knew, bright light was in my face. I grunted at the piercing pain going through my skull.
“What the hell?”
There was a scuffle. Then I heard JJ’s voice. “Jesus, don’t just turn the lights on like that. The man is in a hospital bed. Even I’m not that cruel.”
And just like that I was instantly awake. God knows I didn’t want my health and well-being in the hands of nurse JJ. Just the thought was terrifying.
“What’s going on?”
Rafe stood next to my bed scowling at me. “Finally. I thought you were going to sleep all day.”
“Well, sorry to inconvenience you. Getting shot is no excuse for a sick day, huh?”
He grinned. “Glad you didn’t die. Now can we move on?”
JJ laughed. “And you guys act like I’m the crazy one. Whatever. I’ll go get Hailey. It took a lot of convincing to get her to leave to shower and get something to eat, but she’ll kick my ass if I don’t tell her you’re awake.”
Hearing Hailey’s name brought a smile to my face. Then it dimmed. I remembered Hailey being here before. Wasn’t I talking to her?
“What’s that face for?” Rafe asked.
I glanced over at him in alarm. Just that quickly, I’d forgotten he was even here.
“Nothing. I just can’t remember what happened. How long was I out?”
He shrugged. “Not that long. I was just giving you a hard time. It’s been less than twenty-four hours. Hailey was right here with you the whole time, though. I really like her. She’s the only one who can deal with your bullshit.”
I flipped him off with my good hand. “Just wait until this arm heals.”
He returned the middle finger salute as he walked out. Just after he cleared the doorframe, Hailey rushed in.
“You’re awake.” Her soft smile made me feel brand new. Had anyone ever been that happy to see me before?
She’d changed clothes and the hair around her temples looked damp. I couldn’t stop staring at her.
“What? Do I have something on my face?” She swept a hand across her cheek self-consciously.
“You’re perfect.”
Hailey blushed, the very tops of her cheekbones turning pink. But I could tell that the compliment pleased her. I made a mental note to tell her every day.
“I never would have guessed you were so talkative while on pain meds, but I think I’ve learned more about you in one night than in the past few weeks.”
“Why do you say that? What did I say?” The unease I’d felt earlier came back. This was why I’d never even wanted to do drugs. It wasn’t a good idea to be that out of control. Not when you had the kind of secrets I did. In my world, loose lips got you killed.
“Just a bunch of stuff about how you left me for my own good. That you didn’t want to, but it was the only way to keep me safe. Stuff like that.”
I relaxed slightly. “Sounds like I was pretty high.”
She shrugged. “Maybe, but you seemed very sure about what you were saying.”
The blanket around my waist was suddenly very interesting. After I picked off a few loose threads, I looked up to see Hailey watching me closely.
Finally, she sighed. “So, are you finally going to tell me the truth or not?”
Apparently. my poker face wasn’t as good as it once was. But hey, I wasn’t exactly at my best after being shot and then dosed with narcotics to relieve the pain. But now my mind was clear, and I could probably come up with some kind of bullshit story that would throw her off the scent.
That’s what the old me would have done. The Oskar that was used to hiding, twisting the truth, and staying one step ahead of danger. For the first time in my life, I didn’t want to stay one step ahead. Being ahead kept you alive, but it also kept you alone. After working with the other guys at Blake Security, I’d gotten used to having a family of sorts to watch my back. I’d seen that it was possible to change your life completely and have the sorts of things I’d always assumed weren’t meant for men like me. Family. Love. Hope. Stability.
All it would take was one leap of faith. But I still wasn’t sure I was ready to let Hailey all the way in. Not just because of the danger but because I didn’t want to see the moment she realized what kind of man she’d married.
Falling off the pedestal she’d put me on was going to hurt like a bitch.
“The truth doesn’t always have a happy ending, baby.”
She crossed her arms, hugging herself like she was trying to keep warm. “I know that. But there’s no happy ending even possible when you’re living a lie. At least give us a chance.”
I sighed. “Come here. You might as well get comfortable. This is going to take a little while.”
She climbed up on the hospital bed next to me and snuggled close. Once her head was nestled on my shoulder, her hand floated down to rest on top of my chest. I took a moment to just enjoy having her this close.
A few seconds later Hailey whispered, “This had better not be a ploy just to feel me up.”
It felt good to laugh. Then I started talking.
9
Hailey
For a minute, Oskar was quiet. I thought he’d changed his mind when he took a deep breath.
“I came from a family of crooks. In fact, crook is probably a nice word for my father. He was more like a financial terrorist, but he cleaned up well and was clever enough to get away before any of his schemes blew up in his face. At least for a while. That’s something we were both good at. Like father like son, I guess.”
Listening is a skill. One that seems so simple. But it was taking all the willpower I had to remain still and let Oskar tell his story without interrupting. It was hard because I could hear the shame in his voice as he was talking. Almost as if he was expecting me to judge him.
“There is always a demand for people who have a talent with money. Numbers always came easily to me. Making money was like a game, one that I always won. And in the world I grew up in, it was natural that I’d work at my father’s side. It wasn’t long before I had a reputation for being just as thorough, just as aggressive. I had a client once that said watching us make money was like watching Jesus feed the masses with five loaves and two fish. We were like gods.”
I tightened my arm around his middle. The world he described was nothing like anything I could understand. And despite the things he was saying, the idea of Oskar being in that world was just as strange. My Oskar? The wisecracking jerk who could drive me up the wall but was also willing take a bullet to protect someone else? The man I knew bore no resemblance to the one he was describing.
“The truth isn’t what you expected, is it?” he asked quietly.
I had to be honest. “No. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to hear it.”
“Well, I guess I don’t need to say too much more about my upbringing. I was raised by a bad man who taught me to be just like him.”
“What about your mom? Did she know what was going on?” I was trying to be as matter of fact as he was, but my heart was breaking. He was calmly telling me that he’d been raised to be a moneymaker for criminals as if it was no big deal that his childhood had been stolen.
“My mother was a good woman. I think she tried to teach me as best she could, but she was as afraid of him as any of us were. She died when I was in college. Heart attack. I’m sure the stress of living with my father all those years was the real cause.”
“I’m so sorry, Oskar.”
“Me too. I wish I could have shown her that I wasn’t like him before she died. She left this earth thinking that she’d failed me.”
I sat up slightly, just so I could see his face. �
�I think she knew. I bet she could see the same things in you that I do. Underneath that tough guy act, there’s a big, warm heart. I bet you got that from her.”
He leaned forward, and I met him halfway, kissing him sweetly, wishing that I could inject all my love for him into the embrace. I knew what he was doing with that story. He probably thought he was going to scare me off, and that just like everyone else in his life, I would abandon him once things got a little hard.
But Oskar had never experienced how stubborn a Livingston could be when we wanted something. He was my husband, and I wasn’t going anywhere.
“What happened the weekend we met?”
He rested his forehead against mine. “I saw you and knew I had to have you. It was like getting punched in the gut. God, you were so beautiful even sitting at the bar wearing a fucking business suit.”
His laugh made me chuckle too. I remembered being so annoyed that the assistant I’d brought with me to Vegas for a business conference had quickly ditched me to go drink with some random people she’d met.
“That wasn’t exactly my scene for sure.”
“I could tell. But you still outshone everyone else in the place. I’d just finished a job for one of my most influential clients. One so big that no one even says his name aloud. We just called him Mr. X. I was done and celebrating, and then I saw this angel. How could I resist?”
“And then you asked me why I was so pissed off?” I’d been so shocked that he was even talking to me. Oskar was gorgeous, and there had been plenty of women there that night watching him put away drinks.
“You looked so adorable drinking your one glass of wine with that haughty expression.”
“It wasn’t haughty. It was disappointed. I’d always heard so much about Vegas, and the reality was… underwhelming.”
Oskar’s gaze grew heated. “But I showed you a little excitement, didn’t I?”
His hand, which had been resting at the small of my back, starting inching down until he had a good grip on my ass. I wiggled a finger at him.
“Uh-uh. Aren’t you supposed to be recuperating?”
“I heal fast.”
“Then tell me the rest of the story. After we boinked each other’s brains out and got married, what happened before I woke up alone that Sunday?”
He sighed. “I went downstairs to get us some breakfast, and I saw Mr. X. He was there in Vegas.”
“Oh, no. No wonder you didn’t come back.”
“There was no way I was going to lead him straight to you, Hailey. Men like that have no boundaries and no ethics. He would have used you as a pawn to get me to do what he wanted, which was to come work for him full-time.”
“So you just disappeared.”
“I disappeared. Noah had gotten me out of a few scrapes before. He was aware of my reputation and offered me a chance to use my skills legally. To help people. Plus, I knew that he had the skills to watch my back and keep certain people off my scent. With Noah and Matthias helping me, I could hide in plain sight. I just had to sacrifice the one thing I’d ever wanted to keep.”
I shook my head. “You will never know how long I thought about you. How many nights I cried myself to sleep wondering what I’d done wrong. I felt so stupid. So naïve.”
He kissed me again. “You were perfect. I was the problem.”
“Believe it or not, it actually helps to know the whole story.”
Oskar repositioned himself slightly but couldn’t hide his wince. I sat up immediately. “Oh my god, you’re hurt and here I am laying all over you!”
He smirked. “I kinda like you all over me.”
“Only you can be a perv even when you’re injured.”
He glanced down at the huge tent in his blanket. “Not all of me is injured. Clearly.”
Laughing, I climbed off the hospital bed and straightened the covers over him. Nothing could hide the huge lump, so I finally gave up. “Let me go ask if we can relocate you to your own room.”
It took a little while, but finally I was able to locate Matthias. He followed me back to the medical bay and I waited outside while he talked to Oskar.
“You can go in now. I changed the dressing on the wound. As long as it’s kept clean and dry, he’ll be fine. He declined any more pain medication, but call me if he changes his mind.”
He was gone before I could remind him that I didn’t have his number. Oh well, I would hunt him down physically if I thought Oskar needed the pills. He wouldn’t ask for them, so I would have to watch him closely. If I thought he needed them, I’d shove them down his throat myself.
“Ready to go?” Oskar was already out of the hospital bed and wearing a pair of jeans. His arm was in a sling, but his chest was still bare.
“Yes. I guess I’m on nurse duty. No dirty jokes please.”
“Come on. You’ve got to give me a pass today.” He put his arm around my neck and leaned on me more heavily than I expected.
“I plan on putting you in the bed as soon as we reach your room and then we can watch something on TV until you fall asleep. I know you think you’re being Mr. Tough Guy with the no-pain-meds thing, but once the stuff they already gave you wears off, you’re going to be cranky and exhausted.”
Surprisingly he didn’t argue, allowing me to lead him back to his bedroom with no additional comments or jokes. Once he was in the bed, he let out a little sigh of relief, and I felt bad for him. Obviously, he’d underestimated just how much energy walking back to his room would take. Poor guy.
“Can I get you anything? Are you hungry? Or maybe you need some water?” I twisted my hands as Oskar resettled himself on the bed, yanking the covers up almost to his chin.
“Now that you mention it, I do need something.” His voice was so soft it was almost a whisper. I leaned closer to hear.
“Whoa!” I shrieked when Oskar suddenly grabbed my hand and tugged me down on top of him.
“That’s what I needed. I feel better already.” Oskar smirked when I pushed up on one elbow and glared at him.
“I was actually worried, you jerk.”
“Baby, I’m fine. This isn’t my first time at the wrong end of a gun.”
“Not helping.”
He was quiet for a minute and then sighed. “Seriously, this is all I need. Having you here and knowing you’re safe is all I need in this life.”
It was so unexpectedly sweet that it was a real struggle to hang on to any anger toward him. How did he do that? In the span of a moment, the man could have my emotions ricochet between annoyance and adoration. And I wasn’t sure what to think about that.
Or what to do about the fact that my heart was no longer my own.
10
Hailey
The next few days were spent with me trying to keep Oskar from overexerting himself and Oskar trying to convince me to play naughty nurse games with him. The man was truly the worst patient in the world, but after the scare of hearing he’d been shot, I was willing to put up with almost anything if it meant he was safe.
I could get used to this, I thought when I woke one morning to the sight of Oskar’s face. It made me smile. After everything we’d shared, I felt closer to him than ever. Being unexpectedly married to a man I hadn’t seen in years was definitely not a part of my five-year plan, but I couldn’t regret it.
Maybe there was something to being spontaneous and going with the flow. Priya was always telling me to take life as it came and roll with things more. Usually just the thought of proceeding without a color-coded itinerary made me feel like I was going to break out in hives, but this was just… right. Being with Oskar came naturally as if this was the way things should have always been. I’d been away from work for a few days, and nothing had fallen apart. The world hadn’t stop spinning at all.
Just then Oskar grunted, and his eyes opened. It happened so quickly that I had no time to look away or pretend to still be asleep, so he caught me pushed up on one arm and staring at him like a stalker.
“Good morning. Was
I snoring?” He blinked several times before wiping one large hand over his face self-consciously. “Or drooling?”
“No. You’re adorable.”
He grimaced. “I am not adorable. But I guess that means I was relatively well-behaved while we slept.”
I smiled contentedly when his arm tightened around my back and yanked me closer. “This is probably a mistake, but how does one misbehave while asleep?”
He snorted. “Are you kidding? This is me we’re talking about. I expected to wake up jerking off with one hand and grabbing your boob with the other.”
I pinched him in the side, and his deep rumbling laugh echoed throughout the room. There was very little light coming in from the window, so I wasn’t sure what time it was. More importantly, I didn’t really care.
“It’s still early. Maybe we have time to get some breakfast before you have to go in to work.”
At the mention of the word work, I pulled the covers over my head. Getting out of bed meant facing the very real problems waiting for us. It wasn’t so bad to want to avoid all that a little longer, right? Here in this room, Oskar was my husband, I was his wife, and all that mattered was how we felt when we were together. But we’d been locked away ignoring the world for the better part of a week. I had to get back to my usual routine even though I wasn’t looking forward to it.
As soon as we left we’d have to deal with my family, his job, and the threat against me. So I snuggled closer and buried my face in his chest.
Don’t judge me.
Oskar chuckled and then peeled back the comforter slightly until he could see my eyes. “Is someone tempted to play hooky for the first time ever?”
“It’s not the first time I’ve played hooky.”
“Calling ahead to say that you’ll be out of the office isn’t playing hooky. That’s a scheduled leave of absence. When have you ever just not shown up?”
“It’s happened.”
At his incredulous look, I rolled my eyes. “Okay maybe it hasn’t. But I really don’t want to go in.”